It's very funny. J x
By the way, where the fuck did this font come from? Do you suppose it's a GCHQ font and its a sign I'm being monitored?
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Hopefully this works as a link...
http://uk.eonline.com/videos/211524/ross-mathews-warms-up-to-earl-tidwell
Incidentally....
.... making "no sex" a rule rather than just the reality of my life makes it all seem much cooler - *desperately looking for the silver lining in having phone stolen* :-) J x
Brighton Sea Front Must Be Quiet Tonight
The Whitworth in Manchester has stolen all your drummers and fire jugglers.... :-)
Going to their last night tomorrow evening. I have 10 minutes between my train arriving in Manchester and the whole thing kicking off. What are the chances that there'll be no delays on the trains? On a Sunday...
Ooh, Michael Owen on Match of the Day. I'd break my new "no sex" rule for him. And I bet he wouldn't nick my phone... Bloody hell, Gary Linekar (who frankly I'd do as well in a threesome with Michael Owen) almost said the c word (see earlier postings regarding my mobile phone and my sex life (not)). And by the way: double parentheses. Is that right or does a single one do? Anyone got a Lynn Truss handy? Nice Negredo goal by the way. Oh, and the Toure goal. Fab. U. Luss. Well done City. We're on our way...
Off to bed now just in case any other disasters befall me. I can't get that line sung by Beyonce in the Gaga song Telephone out of my head "I should have left my phone at home 'cause this is a disaster". Sorry for being such a downer recently though. Nunight. J x
Well maybe a swift voddie since I have a new "no sex" rule so it don't matter per Fig's Rules (I've read my Truss - see the correct use of the possessive apostrophe there, I know Sarah will appreciate that). J x
Twitter Genius Conversation
In China, M Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense was retitled He's A Ghost. YES GOOD WORK, CHINA.
WOW. Is the empire strikes back called "Darth Vader is one hand Lukes father"?
Usual Suspects is called IT WAS KEVIN SPACEY ALL ALONG
Feel free to add your own hilarious genius suggestions in comments (this means you Fig). My contributions are:
Terminator II: This Time He's The Good Guy.
Prometheus: It's Really Rubbish, Don't Go.
Sharknado - actually there isn't anything more descriptive than that.... :-)
Oh I'm clutching my stomach with laughter... J x
Now Thats What I Call Disco
Had to log into iTunes to restore some services on my new phone (still not got any phone services yet but that usually takes a couple of hours when reactivating - so no calls or texts) and noticed a new album with the above title. Of the 60+ tracks on it there are only 3 I don't already possess. Now Thats What I Call Jonathan's Music Collection could have been an equally apt title.... :-) J x
Calmed Down Now
This helped http://the-girl-who-does.blogspot.com.au/ Enormously.
Sorry for all the bad language. Off out now to secure new phone. Oh and no back pain. The steroids are clearly working already. J x
Fuck Me Bollocks
For all those people telling me to get out there and talk to people I'd just like to say that I did that tonight. I got talking to a really nice guy who, it turns out, stole my fucking phone. Fucking cunt. Fucking, fucking cunt. I can't believe that happened to me. Fucking cunt (hopefully you're getting a sense of how pissed off I am). Why would someone be really nice to you and then steal your fucking phone. Now I have to do a whole load of stuff tomorrow that I hadn't planned for (pretty much like the local GP stuff today). God I hate that. I've already cancelled my phone with Orange tonight and there was a password on the phone anyway but that's not the point. He was really nice and he was really nice to me. Fucking cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. God. I'm never having sex again. I don't care what Fig says. Fucking cunt.
But anyway, cancer has come back so I've that to deal with anyway. Never mind some bastard stealing my phone. God. How stupid am I? I actually allowed myself to believe that someone was interested in me. I hate everything right now. Please don't respond to this posting as I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. God. I just want to throw things and break things. Fucking cunt.
J x
Friday, August 30, 2013
Update Time
OK so this is going to be a lengthy update - and not in the sexual sense! Apologies if my typing is a little worse than usual as I have just sliced open my right thumb on my razor whilst moving room in the Apart-Hotel.
So where to begin? Well first of all I'm in London for four days doing stuff. Nothing particularly planned apart from meeting up with Sarah yesterday to celebrate her birthday. And indeed we hadn't even planned what we were going to do yesterday apart from meet up in the V&A cafe for coffee. This we did and then we had a look at the "Club to Catwalk, fashion in the 1980s" exhibition. Fantastic exhibition. Brought so many memories back of those days. Really enjoyed it. We then decided to have a spot of lunch in St James' Park at a stylish eaterie Sarah knew there. Very nice it was too (vegetarian Thai curry). We sat outside watching the swan (with or without cygnets - long debate) and the pelicans. From there a spot of retail therapy was on the cards so we high tailed it to Selfridges and their new department of men's shoes (as opposed to their new shoes' department - where do they sell the second hand shoes then? Oh how we laughed). Apparently the largest acreage of men's shoes in Europe. Was rather annoyed that they had my party shoes on sale (I'd bought mine in Amsterdam) as that means there may be other people in London with my shoes on. Was loving some of the Christian Louboutin shoes especially the python high top trainers. But at £1000+ they were a little steep even for me. Didn't buy any shoes and didn't look much further as we'd spotted a rather nice looking bar on the ground floor mezzanine which neither of had see before (although the very lovely waitress insisted it had been there for about 3 years). Had some cider (Sarah) and a couple of martins (guess who) there. They served their martins in a really small glass with a mini-carafe on the side sitting on a bed of ice. The idea being that you topped up the small glass with the rest of the martini as necessary and it would always be freezing cold. Genius gimmick. Loved it.
After the drinks we hopped over to Leicester Square and a Mexican restaurant called Cantina Laredo recommended by Mr Yuill. What a fabulous place. They even make the guacamole at your table (again, another genius gimmick). I predict a new wave of Mexican food arriving in Manchester soon as they're everywhere in London at the moment - both the top end like Cantina and the more fast-food stuff (a bit like Subway where you take different components and they're combined freshly for you). In fact there's already one of the latter recently opened on Manchester's Oxford Street. Here's us at said restaurant
After the Mexican we went to the Haymarket theatre to see One Man Two Guvnors. Not James Cordon anymore but Rufus Hound is a worthy successor. The play is really really funny and the "twist" is just brilliant. I won't give away anymore as I believe it's coming back to The Lowry and you may not have seen it yet. I urge you to do so as its great fun.
Tonight we're off to see Chimerica. I don't know too much about this but it's about Tianmen Square and by Headlong Theatre so should be good. The reviews have been stunning.
In the meantime there's been some less good news. My oncologist, the fragrant Dr Summers you'll recall, had been trying to reach me whilst I was at the theatre to say that she wanted to see me at Wythenshawe hospital today. That was clearly not going to be good news and it isn't. Turns out that the tumour on my spine has grown (you'll recall all the scans I've had recently) and is now pressing on some nerve bundles (predictive text originally had that as "nerve uncles" which amused me) so we have to do something about this. Firstly I need to start taking steroids immediately and then I'm to have radiotherapy starting Monday. All sounds simple and straightforwards doesn't it? Oh my, but no. This is the NHS were talking about here. So first of all I've had to spend the morning signing on as a temporary patient with a local GP in order to get a prescription for the steroids. I now need to go back at 1440 to collect the prescription. Luckily Dr Yvonne has already talked to the guy I'll be seeing (Dr Hayes) so I'm hoping it will just be a formality. But then I need to get the prescription made up and given the fact that I can only take liquid/soluble medicines I don't predict that will be easy.
And then there's the radiotherapy. Because the tumour is at the top of my spine there was a possibility that my earlier radiotherapy 7 years ago would have ruled out any more (you can only have it once to a given area apparently). Luckily the fabulous Dr Yvonne was at The Christie this morning and so was able to review my records with Dr Li (a radiologist I'm assuming) so it looks as though we're full steam ahead for Monday. The very fragrant Denise who is currently on her way back from Llangollen (and now able to,pronounce it one hopes) will accompany me. She's fabulous too.
And I think that's about it. Now about to head out for some lunch whilst checking out the fit City boys and then to the GP. Will update again later or tomorrow. That's all. J x
Oh and I was swapping rooms because the original one was very noisy. This one is much better. J x
Twitter Amuse Bouche...
...Just got back from Fight Club. It was really fun! Got there late so missed the rules being read out but I'm sure it was nothing important.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Ta BFF
Lots to think about there. Off to London now though for 4 days in search of my inner gay.... :-) J x
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
A Number Of Things
So. Bat moths. When does the season end for God's sake? Because I found another moth the size of a bat in my bedroom tonight. Yes, my patented method of bat-moth release-capture mechanism worked but I'm fed up of it. When will it all end? Any budding entomologists out there please get in touch...
And another thing, I was a little drunk whilst trying to expel said bat-moth on account of having been round to Denise's and consumed a number of vodkas. Am I an alcoholic? And, if I am, what - if anything frankly - should I do about it?
And another thing, I had consumed a number of vodkas in order to dull the pain. Not only the pain in my back - cancer related - but the pain in my shin- falling over related. I'd fallen over in Sackville Street Park where I was attending the HIV vigil.
And another thing, I was really moved by the vigil (in fact I cried without the aid of vodka) even though I had to attend on my own. Jim was there (but on duty) as was my stalker (Jonathan) but he was also on duty. But I think I got cruised anyway. Putting aside for the moment the ethics of getting cruised whilst at a vigil, I was so not up for it for a million different reasons. I need to think about this I think and discuss with someone. And by "someone" I mean someone whose solution to my dilemma isn't to tie me to a tree in a cruising park.... I'm in London from Wednesday and meeting up with Sarah and so will discuss with her. She's very sensible. I'm almost sure.
And that's all I think. Scans tomorrow (Manchester Mum in charge: yay Manchester Mum) and meal with Toby in Preston. Yay. Will report back soon. J x
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Party Not
So I didn't go to Pride. I chose instead to remain in my flat and, indeed, in my pyjamas whilst watching Formula One (crap result) and football (two crap results). I also chose to ignore the cricket as any right thinking person would... But I've had a lovely time. It's been nice to do nothing and see no-one. Am now going stir crazy of course. I may need to calm myself down by the imbibing of a diluted vodka. Sadly there is no tequila left after DD and I blitzed it last night. The LL didn't like the tequila and so contented herself with copious amounts of Sauvignon Blanc - all this whilst we ate my cooking (very good if I say so myself) and watched Midnight Cowboy (a bit sad and depressing).
Will go to the vigil tomorrow evening and hopefully spend the day doing some paperwork and packing for London on Wednesday (Tuesday is 2 CT scans looked after by Manchester Mum and tea and drinks in Preston with Toby & Gill). Exciting times.
Have not yet planned what to do in London (please post suggestions in the comments section) but am meeting Sarah in the V&A cafe on Thursday.
And that's all. J x
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Actually
I think I might still be drunk. Tequila is wicked and evil and you should stay away from it kids.... And that's today's health and safety announcement over and done with. Party on dudes. J x
Happy Pride Everyone
Off to watch the parade and have lunch later. And that's it for the day. Yay! J x
Friday, August 23, 2013
And There's More...
Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music when it flushes?
Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.
I'm here all weekend.... J x
New on Twitter
Why does Karl Marx hate Earl Grey?
Because all proper tea is theft.
You're welcome.... J x
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Lovely Day
So today started out with a visit from DD - always to be welcomed. Coffee and a chat followed by the arrival of Hilda- by train rather than bus, those roadworks in Trafford are really snarling things up. So I left her to it (she does my cleaning) and went to meet Jane for coffee at Rylands cafe. Really good to catch up with Jane as I haven't see her in ages as she wasn't able to make my party. After she left I went upstairs to the library to work on the Masque of Apathy poem I'm working on with Marie for ARC news (my Union journal). Marie is fabulous by the way. A very clever woman.
Picked up the dry cleaning on the way home and got back to the flat just in time for Hilda leaving. Then had a lazy afternoon reading (but nothing recommended by the Book Group, incidentally fantastic to see Andrea and Lisa the other night: I was given birthday gifts - it's 05/09 for those of you who've forgotten - and now have a pair of fat balls and some lovely Molton Brown Black Pepper shower gel: my favourite) before setting off for a haircut at 1700. Cameron was full of his usual tales of debauchery. Then met up with LL, Jane (a different one), Gill and Ruth at Pizza Express for, you guessed it, lasagne. Quite nice but a little bland and they don't do chips. No chips! What's that all about? How can a restaurant/cafe expect to survive without doing chips...!
This was followed by an excursion to The Opera House to see 9 to 5. Better than you might have expected but not as good as it could have been was my summation. But I'm always pleased to see a new musical with original songs and a live orchestra so I'm not complaining.
Been a busy day but have a relatively quiet weekend ahead of me. Yes it's Pride so I'll go to see the parade and attend the vigil on Monday but in between I may have the weekend off on my own (DD is out walking somewhere I believe). So that will be nice. Alternatively I may break down and just buy an (overpriced) ticket and go and see some drag queens somewhere in The Village. This will please all those friends of mine who want to just tie me to a tree.... I'll let you know. And that's all for now. Still in a bit of pain but am currently numbing that with diluted vodka and tequila. Yes, I have rediscovered tequila. Only now I drink it without lemon and salt - as God intended when he created the agave bush. :-) J x
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
"Something About You Looks So Familiar"
Teenage school kid (boy) to Barbie. What's going on? Not what I'd hope for I suspect. It all seems a bit sinister.... Oooooooooh. J x
Now Watching...
... Under The Dome on Channel 5 (I know, Channel 5!). As far as I can tell, this big force field thing has turned up out of nowhere and sealed off Nowheresville, USA from the rest of the country. Why? I've no fucking idea. And if it wasn't for the rather cute guy with the attractive bruising I wouldn't be watching as much as I have. And the whole thing is sponsored by a chocolate biscuit. And not even a British chocolate biscuit. But one of the strange European ones. OMG, cute bruised guy's name is Barbie. Is this for real? OMG masculine black lesbian with big gold hoop earrings. I may be hooked already.... Ginger girl - daughter of lesbians - is now having a fit. But frankly, so would I. Will they run out of air? No-ones talking about that yet. Bet they haven't thought about it. Oh good, the army's turned up. In strange foil suits. I'm thinking aliens.... Goldfish? WTF? I need to break off now for a while whilst the excitement mounts. I'll report back soon. I promise. J x
Hello Everyone Out In Blogland
Just back from a lovely meal of penne and sausage with the fragrant Andrea and the fragrant Lisa (unfortunately no Penny or Kerry) at Felicinis and now awaiting a call from the fragrant LL. Whilst waiting I have decided to treat myself to a diluted vodka on the terrace. Here is a lovely pic of said diluted vodka...
How beautiful is that? Got the moon and everything. Not quite as warm as one might have hoped so have had to keep the Prada jacket on. Forecast is saying that it should get warmer over the next few days though. Yay.
Must just say a happy birthday to both Lisa and Andrea and indeed will mention Sarah (Leeds) and Sarah (London) and Sara (Manchester) too as tis the season for birthdays. Happy Birthday all. Those of you who care about me will, of course, know that it will be my birthday on 05/09 at which time I hope to be in Swansea depending on the outcome of my clinic appointment with Dr Yvonne on 03/09.
Talking of which, I had my nuclear scan today which all passed off without a hitch. Indeed the fragrant DD and I managed to squeeze in a visit to a garden centre between having the radioactivity injected and getting the actual scan. Quite a good little garden centre too in Timperley. I bought a packet of parsley seeds and DD bought a whole lot more. I have to say though that the nuclear suite at Wythenshawe isn't a patch on the one at MRI. No plush waiting rooms or fancy chairs to wait for the radioactivity to do its work nor indeed no slim and charming young male nurse to attend to my every need (although Emma in Wythenshawe did really well I have to say - she's not responsible for the accident in biology and I'm not blaming her at all). Results will be available to Dr Yvonne on Friday so may well hear something before the scheduled clinic appointment on 03/09. I'll keep you informed.
Last night was fun too - Airport 1975 (the one with Karen Black and Helen Reddy in), Airport 1977 (plane crashes in Bermuda Triangle and needs to be rescued by lots of frogmen in super-short, 1970s short shorts. Yum), and Airplane (surely you can't be serious...). All accompanied by my penne and sausage (a la Felicinis) and Michele's super-delicious garlic bread. DD managed to stay on water all night, Michele was on Martini Rosso and I graduated from beer to diluted vodka...
Macmillan meeting tomorrow morning followed by helpline in the evening. Busy busy. That's all. J x
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Smash
So the first series was pretty rubbish but I'm watching the second series anyway (hey it's about musical theatre and I'm a gay man, it's my birthright) but its even worse this time round. At least in the first series the singing was confined to the stage (or late night clubs that the actors happened to be in and there was a piano player - you can see where this is going - and it all ended up in some really sophisticated karaoke-fest). But this time the karaoke is happening outside the script. It's like Glee but in a bad way (Glee had its good points). But I will persevere. This episode has Jack from Will and Grace in it (and of course Grace is one of the major characters anyway). I'll let you know.
So I'm on the diluted vodka tonight. OMG Glee, sorry Smash, update: the gay guy is having a crisis. Bet he works things out in the end.... Hero clearly needs a bigger chopper. Fnar. Fnar.
So the conference today was.... interesting. The morning session was quite good. Interesting stuff and the workshop I attended came up with some useful stuff but the afternoon: not so good. It was an impressive conference though. People from 29 different countries. But bizarrely not one official rep from the Lesbian and Gay Foundation. And there was an actual professional footballer there (albeit from Ireland). OMG they just mentioned Rent in Smash. Fabaroonie. God I love Angelica Houston. But her fringe is the worst.
So back to the conference. There is lots of stuff going on in lots of different places and really there needs to be someone who pulls this all together and gets a movement going across the UK and across Europe. But that person isn't me before anyone starts screaming and shouting. I've got too much invested in Macmillan and the homophobia in football stuff needs someone who is going to live a bit longer than I will. I'll take all my stuff to LGF though and see if I can't start them off on something.
But I didn't do any of the social stuff. Partly this was because my shoulder/ribs really hurt tonight (hence the diluted vodka) but presumably this may be related to the fact that I've been sat in uncomfortable chairs for most of the day. But the fact of the matter is that I'm not at all confident in the company of other gay people. I've no idea why. Put me I a room full of heterosexuals and I can function perfectly well. But not homosexuals. What's that all about? I mean answers on a postcard if you have ideas but possibly to my personal email address rather than posting on the blog....
What else? Can't do the whole Peterloo thing tomorrow as I have a film night to prepare for (pick any 2 out of 4 Airport movies) but I will be meeting up with the fragrant Marie to work on the Peterloo poem we're doing together.
Am now watching Falling Skies which had the potential to be a The Walking Dead but fails and falls short on so many levels. Bring on the next series of The Walking Dead....
Anyway, I'm ready for another diluted vodka so ill sign off now. Goodnight everyone. J x
Ooooooh, I Was On Telly Too
But very briefly on local news. So don't worry if you missed it. Full report later after I've been to Sainsburys.... :-) J x
Here I Am..
.... at Football v Homophobia conference. On the BBC! Can you see me? J x
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-23737932
Friday, August 16, 2013
Back to Back Forks
You have to love Carole thingy (I want to say Smilie but its not Smilie) it's something else. Lives in Devon. Face like an antidote to Botox. Barnes? It's not Barnes either.... Klein! Klein! It's fucking Klein! How could I have forgotten that? J x
I've Had To Abandon....
.... Coronation Street for Gardeners World because I'm also recording Celebrity Masterchef (no, I don't know why either) but there it is. J x
Tell me quickly where I can find Jesus whom my soul adores
It's a line from the Bach Oratorios. Just wanted to share that with you. Ooooooh vodka and gin..... J x
I'm Such A Dichotomy
Currently watching the Proms (Bach Oratorios) on BBC2 in between Coronation Street on ITV. Just saying. J x
Yay Mo
Well done my son. Brilliant performance. We love you.
I thought this would be a good opportunity to test my veneers by exposing them to a little vodka. Well you would wouldn't you.... But just to be on the safe side I'll dilute it a little. With gin. :-) J x
D'You Know What?
I really fancy a Campari and Soda and I have nanty Campari in the flat.
Actually I probably shouldn't drink it at the moment as I have my temporary veneers on at the moment. They're rather white and a bit crooked but the real ones I get on 16/09 are going to look fabulous - Lance has promised me.
Oooooh, athletics. Come on Mo, Come on Mo, COME ON MO.
But back to my veneers. I'm not to drink red wine or black coffee before I get the porcelain veneers (the temporary ones are made out of bin bags, or garden waste or synthetic fabrics or something). Lance may have said Campari too but I wasn't really listening to him just gazing into his dreamy brown eyes. Sigh.
COME ON MO.
Off to my conference on football and homophobia tomorrow. Not going to the town hall/mayoral reception tonight as they're probably serving red wine. Or Campari.
COME ON MO you're getting left behind.... He's such a tease, he does this all the time. 9 laps to go.
And no we're not interested in the Russian long jumper Putin you homophobe, oh actually, just caught sight of his shorts. Maybe we're a little bit interested. No, no ,no, COME ON MO. he's at the front now. Yay.
6 laps. 5 laps (you can see where this is going). Will break off now to watch the race. J x
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Have Been Out For Tea With The Fragrant Pat Boyd
Expect posts to be grammatically incorrect and sweary from here on in (4martinis). J x
Straight White Male...
... is a new book by John Niven. You can read the first chapter (for free) here - http://www.windmill-books.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/SWM-C1.pdf. But please don't read if offended by sweary language. The phrase that caught my eye though was this :
"...the concept of double Martinis"
Am thinking I need to buy the book. Always willing to support authors who come up with new ideas. Am also thinking I need a bigger glass... J x
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Reassurance
So today has been OK pain-wise. I've no idea why it was bad last night but its been merely "uncomfortable" today. I can cope with that without getting all scary and drama queeny. I've now also had the date through for my CT scan which just leaves the brain scan to be confirmed.
Had lunch with the fragrant Lucy today. She is really good value and, as a bonus, paid for lunch. Yay. Big fan of feminism. And talking of the F word, why are the sisters all getting their metaphorical knickers in a twist (I'm sure they've all burnt their actual knickers)? Seems that modern feminism is too white and too middle class. Well whose fault is that? Is it the fault of white middle class women who actually speak up and articulate on behalf of women generally (I'm fairly sure they don't exclude working class - and what does that mean anyway today - nor women of colour)? What else are they supposed to do? Stay quiet? Or is it the fault of the working class women and women of colour who aren't speaking up and making use of social media (this has all blown up following the #twittwrsilence campaign around rape and violence threats against women on twitter)? Answers on a postcard please... (Even if its only to say keep your middle class, white, male nose out of all this). Anyway, the point I was making was that it was nice of Lucy to pay for lunch. Piccolinos for those who were wondering.
Talked to the fragrant Mrs T today too. She got the job she was going for (and who could have ever doubted that she would) and so is happy with more regular hours than the Co-op could offer. She will of course have to manage a troop of old biddie volunteers and I don' t envy her that task at all. I predict a lot of shouting and repetition - not only because that is Mrs T's management style but also because she'll need to make sure they've heard what she's said. (Watch the comments section for reaction to this paragraph!)
Now I need to make a big decision. Am I going to stay up to catch sight of the Paxman Beard (Twitter has been giddy about this all day today) in which case I can probably treat myself to a vodka (can't remember the last time I had one) or do I have an early night on account of the fact that I have lots of paperwork to do to tomorrow...? If there's a posting later that makes no grammatical sense whatsoever and is a bit sweary then you'll know which decision I arrived at. Otherwise, see you all tomorrow. That's all. J x
And The Good News Is...
... I feel in less pain today than I did yesterday. That's good. Sorry for being drunk and scary and a drama queen last night. J x
Reality Check
So, I've been really light hearted and have made things really easy for people on this blog recently. But it is time that we get back to the fact that I have cancer. I have pain in my head and pain in my right shoulder now. I suspect, although I'll allow that I don't know yet, that both these things are indications that the cancer is spreading in my body. I hate to announce that but there is nothing to be gained by disguising what I think either.
I've taken a number of painkillers tonight - paracetamol, ibuprofen, vodka etc... but nevertheless I am in pain. I've not (yet) accessed the strong stuff (tramadol, morphine etc) but think I will need to to at some point soon.
I know that this news will be difficult for some of you. You, like me, will have focused recently on how well I've been doing. But the fact of the matter is that I will die (am dying) of this disease and the likelihood is that this will happen in the not too distant future. And that's shite. I feel shite about that. But what are going to do about it? Mere positive thinking will not cure me so gird your loins, and be prepared, for the crap. And trust me, dying is crap. But I'm prepared. I hope you are too. That's all. J x
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Can Someone Tell Me...
... when male models started pole vaulting (no pun intended)? Some of them are gorgeous and their gorgeousness is only enhanced by the need (?) to wear very tight fitting pole vaulting outfits. The younger French brother in this competition is beautiful. And even more so when he cried because he's hopeless at pole vaulting... J x
Scan Booked
I'm going nuclear on 19/08. All you pregnant ladies need to keep away from me for 24 hours. And all you pregnant gentlemen too (I'm an equal opportunities blog). I have had a nuclear scan before and it's nothing to worry about too much. To be honest it was actually hell for me last time because, if you can remember that far back, it was when I was experiencing all the pain - back, hernia and a whole bunch of other pain - and simply lying in the scanner was really painful for me and I had to do it for half an hour. I don't expect to have that this time. That's all. J x
Tonight I Have Mostly Been Drinking...
... Campari and soda. Can you tell? But no, don't blame me. It was Denise that insisted I finish the bottle... J x
And Anyway....
.... it's not Dragon Wasps that we need to worry about. It's the gigantic enormous bat-moths that seem to be invading my bedroom recently. Where are they all coming from? And don't they have natural predators that should be eating them or something? Anyone got the number for Predators-R-Us?
But don't worry gently reader. I have laid a cunning bat-moth trap. It consists mainly of a glass and a piece of paper. Actually that entirely what it consists of. Those damned bat-moths won't get one over on me now, mark my words..... J x
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Birds
So this weekend has seen the return of a family of greenfinches to my nuts. Also a young blue tit. I'm really happy about that but even more exciting is the fact that I had a goldfinch today too. Never had a goldfinch before. Friday also saw a wood pigeon perched on my railings. Don't think I've had one of those before either. Just the feral bastard pigeons that shit all over my balcony. I hate them.
Luckily I have a two step pigeon eradication plan. Step One: find out whether its illegal to kill feral pigeons. Step Two: buy a gun.... :-) J x
A Little Twitter Fun For All You French Speakers...
Ten, Twenty, Thirty, fourty, fifty, sixty, sixtyten, "what?" four twenties, "France, stop it" four twenties and ten. "France you're drunk"
Saturday, August 10, 2013
I've Seen Everything Now
The "hero" just used a chainsaw to carve his way out of a shark's stomach. Oh and apparently it was the same shark that ate the plucky/dysfunctional barmaid who fell out of the helicopter - what were the chances? - so she escaped too. Fuck me. The person who wrote this is a genius. The end. J x
OMG II
The plucky barmaid with the gun/bomb just fell out of the helicopter and got eaten in midair by a shark. What were the chances of that? J x
Sharknado
It's.real Sharknado now. There are sharks flying through the air everywhere. It's very (not really) exciting. J x
I'm in heaven
Someone just said "I think we're going to need a bigger chopper". Fucking fabulous. J x
Oh no!
One of the "characters" lost her grandfather to a shark. That why she really hates sharks. Her love interest just said " Now I really hate sharks too". How nice is that? J x
So....
.... the plan is that we're going to fly the helicopter into the tornado and drop a bomb on it. Apparently this will really stick it to the sharks. I'm so,excited about the plan. Yay the plan j x
What's The Fastest Way To Get Outta Here?
Oh look, there's a helicopter. Can it fly? I'm betting it can...
Ooops
The teacher who looked like a paedophile just had a house fall on him. People come and go so quickly around here. And we've just had our first waterspout. Bring on the sharks on a plane. J x
I Recommend Admiral Insurance
Their current advert uses music from West Side Story. What's not to,like? J x
OMG
The advert break includes adverts for upcoming films on Syfy. There's one called Dragon Wasps. Fucking Dragon Wasps. How frightening are they going to be. Dragons. And wasps. Interbreeding. I'm scared just thinking about it. Jx
Sharknado
So the water's full of blood from dead sharks (they killed them using a bookcase - go figure) and one character says "it looks like its that time of the month". Crass. And funny. J x
Moving
Here's Troye Sivan as you may have seen him (he's the young Wolverine) -
And here's how you might have not -
I found this very moving and it made me cry. He's incredibly brave to do this at his age in the industry he works in and I just hope it doesn't backfire on him. But how inspiring for other young gay people out there... J x
Question
Why do sports coaches and sports managers, who quite often are older men and women, feel they need to wear shorts when they're training their people? It's not pretty, it's not clever and I, for one, am not in the least impressed. Decorum please at all times.... and before anyone has a go at me about, for instance, my party trousers, I have cancer people and therefore the normal rules don't apply.
On the subject of cancer I have spoken to Dr Yvonne and we have agreed that I will have a whole load of scans - CT scan, bone scan and brain scan. The latter because I'm getting headaches but she does think this is unrelated to the cancer as I'm not nauseous at all which is what happens with a brain tumour apparently. But I'm not complacent on this as a friend of DD's who has lung cancer also has a brain tumour so it is one of the places that lung cancer spreads to.
Have ordered all 4 (count them) Airport movies on DVD from Amazon following the posting of the Karen Black YouTube clip the other day. Thinking of arranging a trash-movie-fest day soon :-) And on the subject of trash movies, I recorded Sharknado the other night (Syfy channel on Sky). It's a film about a tornado that sucks up sharks from the sea into the air where they start attacking planes and helicopters and shit. Sharks on a plane! How fabulous do we al imagine that film is going to be? I'll let you know. That's all. J x
Sorry, One More Twitter
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That's us in 10 years". She said "That's a mirror". J x
Friday, August 09, 2013
Civil Partnership
So I'm home from the CP party. Very good it was too. At least as good as any party in Warrington can be. Half the fun was the journey there and the journey back with Sara and Lesley. But the
party was good too. I danced. I drank vodka. I chatted to gay people. And I talked to Diane too. I love Diane. And Alex. Possibly going to a barbecue tomorrow. We'll see.... J x
In a Twitter Mood
As a parent I often wonder if there's anything I could've done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face.
To find your real porn name, take the translation of your Chinese letter tramp stamp & add to the name of your mom's 4th alcoholic husband
The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate.
I hate going out when my fly's down. So I try to cheer him up by leaving him a little bit of excrement and a tiny bib.
I thank you. Not to everyone's taste that last one but it made me laugh.
Now need to go and get ready again (don't ask) for tonight's celebrations. :-) J x
Wednesday, August 07, 2013
That Was Wierd
Something to do with the link no doubt.
Today has seen me at another Macmillan meeting (in Birchwood) which was very useful. And tonight DD is round for catch up TV (we have so much to catch up though).
Have set up my new wi-if printer which, unusually for me and technology, seems to be working like a dream.
Have also made an early appointment to see Dr Summers as have some odd pains in my right shoulder blade. Probably nothing but better to be safe than sorry. That's all. J x
This Is Interesting
But surely can't be right? Surely google should be the highest number?
http://onesecond.designly.com/
Had a fabulous meal at Dimitris last night
with the ever fragrant Jude and the ever lovely DD. mushrooms in a blue cheese sauce (yum) andpotatoes sautéed with a selection of peppers. (Yum yum). That's all. J x
Monday, August 05, 2013
In Pieces
So I cried at the cinema earlier tonight - Gill and I went to see The Heat. Really good, funny film. But it got sentimental at the end which made me cry. And the amount of Botox that Sandra Bullock has had is obscene. But I came home and watched Untouchable. OMG what a fantastic film. Cried buckets. A little overly sentimental in places but based on a true story. I wonder though whether in real life the carer was actually black or gay. It's French but if you get a chance to watch it then you should.
Last night was the party debrief including organisers, caterers, photographers and guests. There was also an overly flirty Pakistani waiter just to add to the fun. As a result next year should be even better. Midsummer's Night is a Saturday and so am torn between a theme of Saturday Night Fever or Midsummer Night. Let me know what you think.
Having a bit of "rib pain". But will be speaking to Dr Y tomorrow to sort out what I need to do about this. Saw Lance, my beautiful dentist today too. I also got a hug. I love Lance. I'm sure the hug had nothing to do with me committing to £5k of dental work...
Lots more to report but I need to go to bed now as have an early Macmillan meeting tomorrow. Night all. J x
Sunday, August 04, 2013
I Love My Sofa
Wandered into town to see what's going on with all the garden/food stuff but bought a pair of jeans instead. Evening saw us in Don Marcos with Nicola & Steve. Very nice but town was so busy. Busiest I've seen it for ages. Could be a sign the economy is picking up (I can now see 9 cranes from my apartment) or could just be that the cricket stuff has rolled into town. Honestly, I barely see my carer these days. Someone is doing well in the cricket I believe but I'm not sure who.
Out for party debrief and a curry tonight yum. That's all. J x
Saturday, August 03, 2013
Morning All
So looks like the hot weather is at an end, at least for the next week or so. In typical British fashion I've been complaining its too hot and now, no doubt, will start complaining that its too wet. It was ever thus. :-)
So it's been a while since a proper blog so this might be a longer entry but, on the plus side, I'm not drunk at the moment and so it should be relatively sensible.
Yesterday was a quiet day apart from staffing the helpline yesterday evening. A quiet shift with just one call and no trainee. Took the opportunity to catch up on all the news that is gay. Have you seen what is going on in Russia? Putin has just brought in laws similar to Section 28 (no teaching of being gay as an acceptable sexuality) and has also banned Gay Pride marches. I think we should boycott something to make our displeasure known. I suggest we boycott Coca Cola who are sponsors of the Olympics next year in Sochi and the Athletics World Championships this year. I urge my readers to join me in this.
On Thursday I was interviewing for a Project Lead on the Macmillan project I'm involved in. It was a long day (1100-1900) but worth it. We got the right person in the end. On the bonus side the room the interviews were taking place in was air conditioned! It all took place at Manchester Conference Centre on Sackvile Street which is quite a nice (if somewhat dated) venue. We had to score the candidates on a scale from zero to five and, for 4 out of the 5 candidates we were very consistent in our markings but one candidate really split the panel (me, an NHS person, a Macmillan person and someone from the local council). This candidate scored really badly from me and Macmillan but top marks from the NHS and the council.. We marked low because of no people skills whilst the others marked high for good process skills. Interesting. A the end of the day it made no difference to the top candidate given the scores from the assessment centre they'd all gone through. Hopefully the project will take on a bit more momentum now.
Wednesday saw me, DD and Sara heading to Uppermill for lunch at Michele's cafe. And very nice it was too. Good to see she was quite busy. I definitely recommend it. We also had a stroll round the village and I bought some napkins. :-)
Today is another quiet day until this evening when I'm out with DD, Nicola and Steve. Not quite sure what we're doing but DD has organised it and so we're in safe hands. Tomorrow is curry and a party debrief with the key party personnel. May wander into town today to see what's going on with all this garden/food stuff. And that's all folks. J x
Friday, August 02, 2013
Sorry, will do a proper blog later but...
...this from Twitter:
Cabbies, stop acting like paying with a credit card is the worst thing to happen to you since you were a child soldier in your homeland.
That is so wicked and yet so funny :-) J x
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