Small Chemo

Today didn't go too badly. I am very tired though. Should be OK for the funeral tomorrow though and will then take a view on whether or not to attend Dave's leaving do. If I don't make the latter then I wish Dave all the best for a long and happy retirement. He's the chap signed off my promotion report so I owe him a lot. Not got anymore to say at the moment apart to say that I'm looking forward to a period now when I feel a bit better than I have. Fingers crossed. J x

Once More Unto...

Had a much better day yesterday. Had lunch with Madame La T, carer in chief and Johnny Byrom at Rylands. Very good and lovely to see John again. Me and La Madame then came back here and watched The Descendants (George Clooney film I'd recorded) which was rather disappointing. DD came round later and we caught up with Borgen, ate cheese and planned our ticket buying strategies for the MIF. We've decided to buy tickets for the Massive Attack thing (in addition to Kenneth Branagh) even though we've no idea what it involves simply on the basis that Punchdrunk are involved somewhere along the line and so it should be an unusual and exciting event.

Last chemo of the current round this morning. Yay. And the hopefully will have some time when I feel relatively well afterwards. No idea how long this will last so will just need to make the most of my time. Of course will keep y'all up to date with how that all pans out :-) That's all for now. May blog later following treatment. J x

A Bit Better This Morning

Hopefully yesterday was the worst I am going to feel because it was pretty horrible all told. However, despite not having a good night I do feel better this morning. Hopefully will get some fresh air whilst the weather holds which will make me feel better again.  That's all so far today. May update later. J x

Feeling Yucky

Side effects from last Thursday seem to have well and truly kicked in now and I don't feel well at all. I'm tired, have a bad taste in my mouth and diarrhoea. Not fun. But it's the last time for the immediate future so things could be worse.

On the bright side had a visit from Madame La T yesterday and she may be calling round later today too. Always a pleasure to see her. And, of course, my carer in chief continues to deliver a sterling service along with the daily papers :-)  Chat with my boss this afternoon to catch up on work stuff and that's my agenda for the day.

Generally though I'm just moping about today and feeling sorry for myself.  Hopefully will be more cheerful tomorrow. Watch this space. That's all. J x

Ex Lax

I am pleased to report that using just a judicious diet of baked beans, vegetable chilli and vegetable curry (over successive nights, not all at once) the horror of constipation can be beaten. Saves drinking those dreadful laxative drinks. Yay for bowel movements.

I should point out (as my mother would if she ever read this blog anymore) that I am also (on the advice of my good friend Michele) taking daily doses of cod liver oil to see if it helps with my back pain. Mother says that this too helps with constipation (if not with bad backs as yet). I can report that it is unpleasant to take in liquid form though..

That's all for now. J x

Still Feeling OK

Not much of a title for this blog I know. But there you go. Still on the steroids which are boosting me (and constipating me at the same time - rough with the smooth, see previous blog entry).

Had a visit from the lovely Jim earlier today and am receiving a mercy mission this evening from DD and Michele bearing therapeutic curry (see above re blockages). My mother reckons that the cod liver oil I'm taking to help with my back pain (on the advice of Michele) will help with the constipation. I'm afraid I have so far seen no improvement in either ailment. And it tastes disgusting. I've vowed to persevere for 7 days and then if no improvement to drop it.

And that's all for now. Oh, apart from to report that City won. Yay. J x

The Quaker Tree is in Bloom

That is to say that the tree outside the Friend's Meeting House in the city centre has blossom on it. It's the first tree in Manchester (as far as I know) to come into blossom and is a sign of the impending spring. That allied with the fact that once we get today's blizzards out the way the temperature starts to climb gives me hope. Hope of things renewing, things reborn, life eternal and warm sunny days just perfect for recharging your vitamin D levels.

Of course, things and life never run entirely smoothly so it is with a heavy heart that I report that Ev's mother after a long struggle has passed away. It was not unexpected and she passed peacefully with her family around her. And that's all we can ask for I guess. Im sure you will all join with me in sending Ev heartfelt condolences. Also, my Dad's former business partner, Malcolm, has also just lost his battle with lung disease so my thoughts go out to his wife and family too.

I'm sure there's any number of religious messages in the above life and death paragraphs but as I'm not religious I'll just say: it's a queer old life full of swings and roundabouts. We need to take the rough with the smooth and make the best of the hand we're dealt. And on that cliché-ridden thought, that's all. J x

Big Chemo

Another long day yesterday - 0800 to 1730 - principally because of the need to get blood tests done on the day and the having to wait for the results. But it was my last time this time round so I'm not complaining too much. It was quite tiring though and I actually fell asleep for a while as they were pumping poison into my veins. Denise as ever was marvellous driving me to the hospital and picking me up to bring me home. I don't thank her enough for all she does for me.

Saw the lovely nurse Jackie who wants to come to Copenhagen with us. This is good news because not only is she nice and good fun but she's a cancer nurse. I do realise that's a rather selfish viewpoint but I'm sure it will put a lot of people's minds at rest. Anyway, you'll all get to meet her at my party on 21/06 and you can issue her with her instructions to look after me then!

Incidentally there's been a change in the theme for the party. Paganism rules no longer. The theme will be A Midsummer's Night Dream. This can be interpreted narrowly (come dressed as a character from the play) or more widely (dare to dream on this Midsummer's Night and dress accordingly). More details nearer the time.

And that's all for now. Hopefully my side effects will be as relatively mild this time round as they were for the third cycle. But even if they aren't this will be the last time for a while. Yay. J x

The Glums

Enjoyed Les Miserables last night. But it's not a film without faults - principally the casting of Hugh Jackman who isn't suited to the role. His singing is OKish but his acting is terrible. And the main difference between Les Mis on film and on stage is that the acting on film needs to be as good as the singing. This is because of all the close ups and the need to carry the story better. Anne Hathaway is a revelation though. I actually cried when she had her fall from factory worker to prostitute. Brilliant. Bizarrely the best singing in the film comes from Colm Wilkinson who, here, plays the priest who shelters Jackman. Overall the film is well worth seeing though even though it is long - around 2 and a half hours.

In other news had coffee with Sara and Lesley and was good to catch up with them as I haven't seen Sara since before Xmas. Had coffee in Rylands cafe which is a nice little cafe but the service isn't very good.

Feeling good today but start final cycle tomorrow with big chemo session. Hopefully it won't be too tough. Rest assured I'll let you all know how it goes. Have to be there early as, once again, the District Nurses won't be here to take my blood today. That's all. J x

Update

There is an Ap in the Ap store called runpee. It tells you the best time during a film to go the toilet so that you don't miss anything crucial. Genius or what? J x

Another Good Day

Still not sleeping properly but my days seem to be OK. Met up with a colleague from Newcastle today for coffee. Not seen him for ages and it was good to catch up and also to find out the latest progress on a project I was working on just before I went sick. Of course it all seems to have fallen apart since I'm no longer dealing with it... (Just joking!).

Also, as its Monday, had my usual call from the bath of one of my trainees. I'm beginning to think he's never out of it. Anyway, he's doing fine which is good to hear.

Had a letter from Human Resources telling me when I go on half pay and when I go on nil pay. That cheered me up! Hopefully we'll get a response on my ill health retirement application before either of those things happen. My consultant sent off her report at the back end of December so I'm hoping it won't be too much longer.

More coffee meetings and phone calls tomorrow as well as a trip to the cinema to finally see Les Miserables. Will let you have my views after that. That's all for now. J x

Happy Birthday Bryn

Today would have been Bryn's birthday if he'd still been with us. So today is already a sad day. It's also the day that Michele has chosen to scatter Bryn's ashes. I and others who were Bryn's friends will accompany her and we'll celebrate his life over lunch afterwards.

Didn't do much yesterday apart from go round town whilst DD bought stuff. Was suffering a little bit though from the night before when I got pretty drunk. It was good fun though. :-)

My final cycle starts on Thursday so this will all be over soon and hopefully I'll have some time when I feel well. Looking forward to that. That's all for now. J x

Scan Results

Spent a happy 2 hours at the hospital this afternoon (big queue for the X-Ray machine). So got to see the doctor late. Saw Dr Taylor (who I've not seen before and who is Australian - but he seems quite nice). He says that the scan shows a "significant" reduction in the size of the tumour in my right lung and the associated lymph modes since the last scan. Also a large reduction in the fluid in the pleural area (but this is compared to a scan taken before they drained the fluid - at least it shows that the fluid hasn't re-accumulated though).

This is good news but its difficult to draw any firm conclusions from this. All one can say is that it is a positive result and hope that things continue in a positive manner. The original prognosis - 9 to 12 months from time of diagnosis - hasn't been changed but since this is an average (i.e. an average of results some of which will be below 9 to 12 and some of which will be above), any positive results mean that one is likely to be above the average rather than below it. I like the sound of that.

We also discussed the possibility of having some more chemotherapy further down the line. This is possible but will depend a) on my response to chemotherapy generally - which looks good at the moment and b) how fit I am at the time - again looking positive at the moment. Perhaps I should join a gym again? :-)

Got a plumber coming round tonight to look at my washing machine. Not expecting good news there. :-(

That's all for now. J.

Text Messages During The Broadcast

In timeous order (see if you can guess who sent them!) -

* Tension unbearable

* Oooooh I'm so excited

* Did you meet the meerkats?

* Ooh I've seen that look before

* Yey! A star is born

* Was that it?

* There you were - loved that look you gave them

* Hurrah!! A sidelong glance delivered expertly

* Who is that guy reading the paper in the cafe? What a star! Soooo jealous

* Lovely arched eyebrow

* Lawrence Olivier would have been in awe of your performance

* Can I stop watching now?

* Were you supposed to turn and give the Lewis raised eyebrow? Or were you just desperate for some face time?

* Loved the cheeky 'looking around' bit of acting talent. Amazing.

* Mr Lewis, star of Corrie. Hope you've got a good agent...

Needless to say I'm really pleased with how it went. And I'm really grateful to Jude for making this happen for me. No idea why but I'm just chuffed that I did it. And it was great to have DD and Michele here to watch it with me. Thank you everyone for your messages. Love J x

Winter

It snowed here last night and semi-settled. On the plus side, City won in a very exciting match. And finally, the series Grand Hotel came to an end. DD and I have stuck with it through thick and thin. And it was almost wholly thin. Just madness.

Went to Bents for lunch yesterday with the lovely Gill who, you'll all be glad to hear, is as gorgeous as ever. Had a lovely time, didn't buy anything but finally got to catch up on life, the universe and everything.

Today, of course is the big Coronation Street debut day. I've still no idea which episode I'm in so you'll have to plan to watch both sorry. DD and Michele are coming round here to watch. And drink champagne. Look forward to reading any comments later. And don't worry, I'll still remember you all once fame comes knocking... J x

Lion King

Went to see the above last night for Jim's birthday. As ever with touring West End productions the provinces don't live up to the original. The stage was smaller as were the sets and cast. But it's still a good show and the audience certainly enjoyed it. Didn't have brilliant seats though.

Continuing to feel OK and am off to Bents today for lunch with Gill. Will be good to catch up as we haven't had a chance for a good natter for a while. Will let you know later if I come back laden down with garden goodies. J x

I Hereby Rescind....

... everything I've ever said about Dame Shirley Bassey. I love, love love her. Just watched Imagine on BBC4 and the woman is a genius, a star, a tragic diva, Welsh: everything I love in my public figures. J x

Toothsome Once More

I've never had the best teeth in the world (smoking and radiotherapy saw to that) but at least they're all back in place now. The genius that is my dentist managed to do something with gold chains and glue which means you'd never know one of them had broken. Hurrah. Now I can smile again. He also gave me another hug. I'm starting to wonder... J x

A Fan Writes....

.... is that a picture of you on the Coronation Street Website? Yes, dear reader, it is. But they're playing it canny. It's not a full face picture so only the most devoted of fans will spot me. I'm sure they'll feature me much more heavily after my debut on Monday. J x

Cycle 3, week 2

My lovely Manchester Mum drove me to Wythenshawe today and unfortunately we had to stay longer than either of us were hoping. Place was busy plus I needed to have a blood test first and so it took about 4 hours door to door. Still MM is very good company (once you get past the right wing polemic!) and so time passed very agreeably. Also saw the lovely nurse Jackie.

The admirable Ms Drury has just been round to check up on me so I will now give myself over to an evening of languid seclusion... :-) J x

Not A Good Look

One of my lower front teeth broke in half last night. I now have an attractive gap right in the front of my mouth. No doubt this will cost me a fortune to put right. Although having said that I seem to recall that because I've had radiotherapy to my mouth (cast your minds back to the first cancer) that I will need to get any work done at the hospital rather than the dentist. Oh joy. I'll let you know more when I do. Can't do anything before Friday though as have chemo today obviously... J x

Bloody Hell....,

.... it's going to get even colder. It's quite cold enough for me thank you. Although obviously not cold enough at night as I had 2 night sweats last night. That meant retreating to the sofa at about 0330 this morning as both sides of the bed were by that time moist. Didn't really sleep then for the rest of the night so have felt quite tired today.

However, the taste in my mouth hasn't been as bad today but then I have also felt more nauseous today. Swings and roundabouts.

Went to the cinema this afternoon with DD to watch The Hobbit again but this time in 3D. Having now seen it I can say that Life of Pi remains the only film I would recommend seeing in 3D.

Quiet night in from now on although I think DD may be calling round later. Hopefully will have a better night tonight as its my "small chemo" session tomorrow (Manchester Mum picking me up at 1000 - thanks Mum). After this I will be 3/4 of the way through the chemotherapy which is great news. May take longer than normal tomorrow as there weren't enough District Nurses today to take my blood test in advance so we'll have to do it tomorrow before the chemo starts.

And that's all I've got for you so far. Stay warm. J x

Movement

Not a good night but I'm pleased to report that constipation has eased somewhat under pressure of laxatives and tins of beans. Horrible taste is back in my mouth which nothing - even Mint Corsodyl, thank you Sharon & hubby - seems to shift. Nausea not too bad but the anti-sickness drugs are good.

Agenda today includes a Sainsbury's shop and, if up to it, coffee with a team member. :-) J x

Not Too Bad So Far

Had a good night with only a minor night sweat. But yesterday was my last day of steroids so I expect things to get a bit worse from now on. Anyway, am taking advantage of feeling OK at the moment to walk into town and post a letter. Hurrah.

DD has already been round with the paper and arranged with Manchester Mum to take me to the hospital on Thursday for Chemo II (see you at 1000 Mum). She will also be calling round this evening (avec her tea) so we can catch up on all the telly I've recorded and not been able to watch so far.

Got loads of paperwork sorted last night which is good (hence trip to post office).

Just had a phone call from one of my Team on a study day. Not sure how much studying he's getting done though as he was in the bath at the time (lunch break!). Luckily, we don't Skype...

Off now to take painkillers and phone the redoubtable Madame La T (unrelated occurrences) before tripping off into town... :-) J x

Kicking In...

... the side effects that is. Tiredness, nausea, bad taste in my mouth, constipation, lack of appetite. It's not worse than it has been before yet so fingers crossed. Last day of steroids today though.

Even so, am off to DD's for coffee and to pick up my paper. Nothing else planned for today other than taking it easy and trying to finish off my paperwork. Oh, and eating lots of baked beans because the laxative medicine just gives me indigestion. :-(

May blog later, we'll see. J x

Cycle 3, Day 2

Was really tired last night and slept really well (obligatory night sweat apart). Still feel a bit tired today but the steroids I get for the first three days after the big chemo really help. The anti-sickness stuff is essential too as I felt sick when I woke up this morning.

Have had a visit from Jim this lunchtime and then a  long chat on the phone with Sarah from London. DD coming round tonight for curry and a film (postponed from last night because I fell asleep!). Seeing Sara tomorrow lunchtime (her cold permitting) and then Leslie picking me up to to take me for a scan at Wythenshawe. I know. On a Saturday.

Not much else to report really. Will blog again if anything spectacular happens. Oh, I will just mention in passing that I am thinking of having a party on mid summers evening (21 June 2013, it's a Friday) which you may want to pencil in. All regular blog readers/contributors will be invited. It's just that I don't know how long I have realistically but I should still be OK and fit enough to enjoy a party on that date. Perhaps we can have a pagan theme and all practice alternative remedies for one night only. Vodka-therapy and the like... Anyway, nothing definite yet, just a thought. J x

Another Long Day

Needed to get to the ward early as the District Nurses didn't take any blood yesterday so we set off at 0745. And we didn't get back to the flat until 1730. All the usual stuff with no problems luckily but very tiring. Fell asleep almost as soon as we got back and still feel tired now.

But let's see how things go. Due two visitors tomorrow so looking forward to that. I'll update y'all tomorrow. J x

Doing OK

Still feeling good today although had two night sweats last night. No idea why two. So a little tired but otherwise OK. Hoping to go to B&Q this afternoon with DD although I can't remember what we're going for...

District Nurses should be calling this morning to take blood ready for my all-day-chemo tomorrow. It's the start of Cycle 3 so I'm officially half way through the course. My oncologist doesn't think it will be worth giving me more than 4 cycles. After 4 the side effects tend to get even worse and the benefits are smaller. If they're looking for a "cure" then it's sometimes worth the risk but since they're not doing that with me there's little point going through the additional side effects.

Hopefully also going out for a curry this evening with Jude et al. Apparently someone has a voucher. That's if I ever manage to finish DD's washing. Yes folks, my financial situation has got so bad that I've been forced to take in washing to meet the bills. Seriously though, her washing machine has broken down so what's a girl to do in such an emergency but turn to her friends with functioning (if very loud because it doesn't function all that well) machines. And I'm happy to do it.

No other news to report at the moment. Will update later if anything exciting happens. :-) J x

Happy New Year

Hope 2013 brings everyone everything they want.

Had a bit of a tough day yesterday (self inflicted) as I'd been out for dinner the night before and over indulged in both food (but It was gorgeous) and drink (champagne, beer and vodka is a heavy mix) and fun (Manchester Mum & Dad were there along with Ev - mine host - and Denise). The result was that I was sick during the night, lost my appetite the following day and ran a high temperature. It wasn't ridiculously high (I went up to about 37.8) so the hospital didn't want to take me in. But it did somewhat spoil the NYE celebrations. DD and Lesley did come round and we watched Breakfast at Tiffanys (fab film) followed by the hootenanny and I did stay up till 12 so not all was lost.

Feeling much better today and my temperature is back down to 36.0 so it's all better now hopefully. Serve me right frankly. No plans today apart from a trip to Sainsburys and taking down my decorations. I'll blog later if I have anything to report. J x