A Good Way To Go

It was a nice retirement do. Everyone, especially Bob, was suitably emotional. The speeches were good and not overlong. Went to the pub afterwards and actually had a glass of water (although didn't manage to finish it!). Didn't stay too long as everyone was tucking into the free buffet and I so wanted to join them...

Not much else to report from today other than that I had a firm BM today. Probably the firmest since my stay in hospital. I know how you people like to keep up to date with these things. Goodnight Manchester. J x

Another Quiet Day

Gordon & Lizzie came to see me yesterday with their tales of far flung adventures in 15 different countries (if you count Hong Kong) over the last 6 months. And it sounds as though Lizzie may have been doing more flinging than Gordon (which, if you know them, is a turn up for the books!).

Mrs T coming to see me tonight and she has been doing some travelling in far distant counties too. I look forward to hearing all her news as well.

Big day tomorrow - my boss, the inestimable Mr D, retires. What is to become of us? It'll be a sad day for many people I know that. I just hope he's doing the right thing.... I'd like to (publicly) thank him for all he's done for me over the past 4 years and to wish him all the best for the future. He better stay in touch though since I can no longer get through a week without an anecdote or 6! J x

Hey Everyone, A Picture!

Just to prove that you can fit a drag queen in a JCB... J x

No Rain on the Parade

Well they were all there. The bars and the clubs with lorry loads of young skinny dancers in skimpy shorts. The bears' lorry with over-large men in tight T-Shirts and wedding dresses (wedding dresses could have been a theme this year) dancing to the high energy hits of yester year. We had the police and the fire and ambulance services. More nurses than you could shake a catheter at and, of course, the drag queens. What would Pride be without drag queens? We had one sitting in the bucket of a JCB. We had drag queens on stilts, drag queens in wedding dresses (natch), we had The Queen in a roller (like that's never been done before) and, hurrah, we had the Salford Ladies Temperance Union Society. What a sight they were in their twin sets and pearls carrying banners reading "sodomy stinks" and "rings were made for fingers". And what useful placards too as they doubled up as weapons for hitting people who didn't come up to their exacting standards (mainly bar and club boys in skimpy shorts). The Selfridges lorry was stunning, the Prairie Dogs line dancers were all in time and some Hippy McHippy with rainbow dreadlocks was trying to charge everyone £4.99 for a very very small rainbow flag.

I got quite emotional this year (and who wouldn't faced with all the above) remembering Prides past in Manchester, London and, best of all, Brighton. How many Prides do we all have left (see earlier debate)? And will they ever change? I hope not. Oh for those sweaty afternoons in the cabaret tent laughing with (at) the "acts". Figster will know where I'm coming from on this. And to make it all worse, the headliner this year in Manchester is Mark Almond. My back can't take any more standing around though and without alcohol it'll just sound like he's singing out of tune.... Happy Pride everyone. J x

Finally

I have an appointment to see the physios. Hurrah. Not till 26 September though but at least its a start. Thanks go out to the nurses at Christies who made this possible.

Sarah H came to stay last night and it was great to see her. She had a bit of a nightmare journey up here and as I can't drink we stayed in last night and watched Chinatown - I fell asleep in the middle of it. Bit of a pants film really although I hadn't expected the ending. Went for a lovely walk this morning along the canal banks in the lovely sunshine and she's just left to go back to London.

Have started sipping water as instructed by young Sean. Its not pleasant but its got to be done... J x

Hospital Visit

Just back from Christies where Sean professed himself satisfied with my progress so far. The nurses at Christies will also chase up the physios for me (that's now 3 lots of people trying to get me an appointment!). They're also going to try some special dressings on my scars because they're "hyertropic" (I think). Essentially, they're a bit red and raised. They don't know whether these dressings will work or not but at the end of the day it doesn't matter too much I don't think. I wasn't particularly pretty to look at before the surgery and I'm not particularly pretty to look at after the surgery either (feel free to contradict me to your heart's content on this point). Sean didn't appear to know of the Gerson diet (but then he's not the cancer specialist) but suggested I just eat a "balanced diet". I'll try and nab one of the cancer specialists at my next visit (October) to see what they think.

Sean also wants me to start drinking followed by soups even though they taste awful. Oh well, I suppose I can do that. Here's hoping my tastebuds don't take too long to recover.... J x

Roger, You're Right

You are human and you are lovely. And Jane, thanks for the translation coz otherwise I'd have had to ask. Feeling much better today. I don't know whether its the drugs or the prayers but I'll take whatever makes me feel better.

Just watched Angela's Dying Wish on Channel 4. Its about a woman with terminal breast cancer. It was very moving. It struck me though that no-one (apologies to the religious types) really knows how to talk about death. We don't seem to have the vocabulary. Which is strange because death is something that we all live with from the moment we're born. So why can't we talk about it? Discuss. j x

Was Sick This Morning

No idea why. So I'm back on the anti-sickness drugs (which I gave up about 3 days ago). Why is this happening? Seeing the doctors at Christies on Thursday so perhaps I'll have some answers then. Am fairly depressed by the situation as it seems that I am not getting any better. J x

Just Had To Tell You

Log on to youtube.com and find the video titled "OK Go - Here It Goes Again". It is the most fantastic thing you'll ever see. J x

Nothing to Report

Went to Sainsburys and bought bleach (all those BMs). Looked up recipes in the vegetarian cookbooks I own. Discussed colonic irrigation with my mother (who disapproves). And that's it. J x

A Couple of Quotes

"The Gerson diet is a very strict low salt, organic fruit and vegetable diet. Each person must drink 20 pounds (about 9 kilos) of crushed fruit and vegetables each day. Gerson therapists believe that people with cancer have too much salt in their bodies compared to the amount of potassium they have. They think that eating large quantities of fruit and vegetables will correct this imbalance and cleanse the liver. The idea is that the liver would then start to clear the body of cancer cells. It would be nice if the liver could filter out cancer cells from the body. If it did, this would certainly be an avenue of conventional cancer research. Unfortunately, it doesn't."

"Coffee enemas have been known to cause some serious side effects. They include
Infections
Constipation
Inflammation of the bowel
Salt and other mineral imbalances in the body and
Death caused by these problems"

These quotes are from the website of cancerhelp.org and there's no arguing with the quotes... J x

Colonic Irrigation

There. I've said it. And having said it I want to let you know I'm considering it. Let me explain why.

At the risk of unleashing Holy War II I'm going to refer again to the book that Denise loaned me. Despite the "miracle" in Chapter 1 of the author surviving her extreme chemotherapy I thought I'd finish the book whilst I was in Swansea. It turns out that little of the rest of the book deals with religious matters. Rather it deals with the controversial Gerson diet. The chap who invented this claims it can cure cancer as does the author (and as does Prince Charles apparently). To follow this diet one has to first detoxify one's system. One does this by ingesting nothing but fruit and vegetable juices for 3 weeks whilst giving oneself coffee enemas (I kid you not). Now I know that I'm missing coffee whilst I can't swallow but even I am not desperate enough for a caffeine rush to pour the stuff up my arse!

Anyway, anyway. After these first three weeks one follws essentially a vegan diet whilst ingesting truly vast quantities of vitamins intravenously. Needless to say the British medical establishment is less than impressed. So I don't think we'll be doing that. However, reading the book did make me think. I don't suppose that anyone is going to harm themselves by following a diet that minimises animal fats (i.e. meat and dairy products) nor is anyone going to harm themselves by ensuring they have a clean colon so that one's body is able to absorb all the required nutrients from one's diet. So that's what I'm going to attempt to do but not in any killjoy way. I've no doubt that I'll still consume some meat, cheese and milk but I'm going to try and cut down. And I'll also have the occasional colonic irrigation (always assuming the experience isn't too unpleasant). I'll let you know how I get on once I've checked with Caroline that it's all OK. If anyone has any particularly delicious vegetarian recipes then I'd be delighted if you'd let me have them (either on here so that everyone can try them or in the post or whatever).

Fianlly, I'm feeling fabulous today. J x

Anxiety 2, Depression 3

Not quite "Dance 10, looks 3" but it does have a certain ring to it (a little Chorus Line quote there especially for Figgles who loves it so. In fact he loves it so much he'll be over the moon to hear that a new Broadway production is opening in October). The score at the head of this post however refers to my actual levels of anxiety and depression as measured by Sister Donna at my ICU follow up appointment this morning. Considering that the relevant scores were 12 and 15 3 weeks after I left ICU I'm sure you'll all agree that there's been a vast improvement. We like Sister Donna because she's also promised to refer me to the ICU physios for whom the waiting time is measured in weeks rather than months (if you're reading this Caroline, how's that coming? The ICU physios are in addition to, rather than instead of, any other physiotherapy referrals).

For those among us who remember Peter Frost, I hear that he has been lured away by those people with suitcases full of money at Ernst & Young. I pass no judgements here (although I had plenty to say by text message, rest assured).

And finally, Karen - have you got that address for me yet? J x

Back Where The Whippets Roam Free

Yes, I survived the arduous journey North and am now safely ensconced in the apartment. May I take this opportunity to thank the Aged Ps for their hospitality and generally for looking after me and cossetting me.

Some plants appear dead whilst others, I think, are just resting. I'll let you know of any miraculous recoveries in the next few days. Not much to report as have only just got back but I am informed by my buddy Figster that we'll be going to see Wicked in October. V excited. Also v excited about seeing Evita in September and whatever it was I asked Denise to get tickets for that we're going to see on my birthday.

Manchester Pride is fast approaching and have decided that I will go along to see the parade but won't actually be attending the enclosure since unable to consume vast amounts of alcohol (which is pretty much the point of attending the enclosure).

Will post tomorrow following my hospital appointment (but don't get too excited as its just an Intensive Care follow-up appointment). J x

Darts?

What a wonderful idea. I should warn anyone picking me for their team (yes, I know I'll be the last one - always the skinny kid that was picked last at school, that's me) that I was once beaten in a darts match by someone who was registered blind. I'm just saying...

2 more days and I'll be at home looking at all my dead unwatered plants (oh why didn't I take Denise up on her offer to water them? What madness was it that made me think: "This is Manchester, it always rains"?). Its been nice to be at home though (if exhausting - mother had a full social calendar mapped out for me!) and I think this is probably the longest I've stayed at home since I actually left home all those decades ago.

At MRI on Thursday but its a routine follow up appointment so nothing to get excited about. And that's about all the news for now. I'll post when I'm back to let you all know that I made it safe and sound. J x

Connection Problems

Whilst I am able to access this lovely blog from Swansea I cannot (for some reason, maybe something to do with the fact that Windows 2000 is now 6 years out of date?)access my e-mails. If you have anything urgent to communicate with me you'll either have to do it publicly in this forum or privately by text message (078333 90996).

Fairly quiet day today although did make trip to the solicitors to sort out my will. Also found out whilst I was in town that the first house I ever owned (bought for £15,000 in 1983) is back on the market for £175,000. If only I hadn't sold.... J x

Swansea Calling

Made it home safe & sound. Drove all the way and it took 3 and three quarter hours - a record. But then of course the Aged Ps did point out that I was speeding all the way. I blame the drugs. Suffered for it the rest of yesterday as I was completely knackered and my back gave me a bit of gyp (first time I've ever used that as a written word, I wonder what the provenance is - probably best not to ask!). Went to town this morning to stock up on some essentials I'd forgotten to bring and ran into someone with whom I used to work in the post office forever ago. She'd hardly changed at all - needless to say she didn't recognise me. Taking it easy this afternoon (cricket on the telly...) and off to a botanical garden tomorrow morning. Will post again soon now that I've mastered dial up internet access! J x

P.S. While I remember -

1. Sarah W - sorry, I know I forgot to send you a birthday card (happy birthday for the 5th) and I haven't got my address book so I'll send you a v v belated one upon my return to Manchester.

2. Kathryn and Andrew - have forgotten my address/phone book (see above) and so I can't ring you to get together. Not sure if you have the Aged P phone number (01792 299104) so please phone and we'll sort something out. Hilary is coming round Thursday night (and your parents are to be invited I believe) but if that's not convenient just give me a bell. It would be great to see you.

3. Everyone else. I love you dearly.

All Packed

The drugs need a bigger bag than the clothes (but that's because I only wear "skinny fit" these days...)! See you all when I get back. J x

Bon Voyage

Aged Ps have arrived safely. We're all off to Wales tomorrow so I don't know how much opportunity I'll have for posting on here over the next week or so. Hopefully I'll be able to post some comments from my dad's computer but, if not, I'll be back in Manchester on the 16th as I have an appointemnt at MRI on the 17th (its just a follow up check after my time on the ICU). Aged Ps are currently in Livebait while I'm off to watch that Andrew Lloyd Weber thing (I'm so gay....). J x

Donnie Darko

Blimey! Any ideas? J x

Here's A Thought

Denise has loaned me a book written by a woman who survived cancer "against all the odds" and the book is about her fight. Having read the first couple of chapters and not yet having got into all the vitamin regimes etc it appears that she owes her survival principally to "the power of prayer". On these grounds alone there seems little point in me reading on but a question occurred to me. A lot of people who have talked to me or contributed to the blog or sent cards (including one ordained minister - thank you again Roger) have told me that I will be included in their prayers. If I personally don't believe in a God are all those prayers wasted? Is God likley to want to save an unbeliever? Discuss. J x

What A Busy Day

Had to go to the GP this morning to get prescription for drugs to take home to Swansea next week. When I got to the chemist I discovered he'd only prescribed me 3 days of anti-sickness drugs which is, of course, not enough so I have to go back again tomorrow. Met DD for lunch at Love Saves The Day. She had a roll and coffee and I had a sniff. The aromas were wonderful. Can't wait until I'm eating again. I bet all that weight is going to go straight back on.

Then called round to Gill's this evening to see her new garden (fantastic) and her new carpets (living room is huge). Ended up helping put together her new garden table (which is only fair as she helped me put mine together). Its dead swanky with a black glass top.

Phew. Knackered (even though I also slept for 3 hours this afternoon).

Also spent today (and yesterday) mourning the loss of Mrs T who will be departing HMRC shores for pastures new at the end of September. Boo hoo. What will I do without her? Who will have lunch with me now? She promises to stay in touch but you know what its like: out of sight..... J x