Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Cruising Twitter Whilst Cringing at CMS

So will share some stuff with you....

Again....

* To boost morale amongst those out of work, Jobcentres should have Unemployee Of The Month.

* I find it in poor taste that the 1am drive-thru attendant asks "How are you?"  Not good, Maria. Clearly.

* Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 1,846 times and you're the guy sending out emails telling me there are hot girls in my area right now.

* I think things are about to kick off. This guy's really been sizing me up for the last hour. *stares at tailor*

I thank you.  That's all. For now.  J x

They've All Got Crabs

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..... OMG, Liverpool. 

Beyond Excited

Celebrity Masterchef is just starting.  JSP and three people I've never heard of.... C'mon Janet.  J x

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Twitter

I before E except after C has been disproved by science. :-) 

Yay. New iPad

Those lovely people at Apple couldn't fix my iPad (connectivity issues apparently) so they gave me a new one.  Straight away.  And it's got all my old stuff on it.  I love Apple.  J x

Catch Up

First the bad news, Gwen (DD's mother-in-law) whom many of you will have met at my party is in hospital.  She has a bad case of diverticulitis.  She's had this before but the current episode is quite severe and so they have taken her into hospital and are giving her IV antibiotics.  DD and I visited last night and she seems in really good spirits and didn't look too bad (apart from the bruising on her hand where the - oh what a surprise - careless staff had attempted to put in a cannula in).  She had a CT scan yesterday and will hopefully be allowed home once the results are known.  Luckily she has been taken in at the beginning of the working week so there is some hope that things will be done.

On the good nursing side, my old mate Nurse Jackie is struggling valiantly to get my lip sorted but Dr Yvonne is on holiday at the moment so it looks like things won't happen for a while yet. :-(

In other news I've done loads of Macmillan stuff recently and on Thursday will be taking part in an assessment centre and interview session to find a full time Project Manager for the project I'm currently involved with.

Saw Manchester Mum & Dad for a quick coffee and catch up on Thursday.  They had their grandson Tom with them - he is so cute (even though he barely looked up from his Nintendo DS!). Good to see them and hear their stories of their holiday in France.

I've also been to stay with the lovely Toby and the lovely Gill in Poulton-Le-Fylde.  What a pretty little town it is.  It reminds me a lot of some of the little towns and villages south of Manchester in Cheshire.  On the Saturday we went up to the Lake District (lucky with the weather as rain had been forecast) and spent some time around Conniston Water. It was beautiful.  I was feeling a little the worse for wear from the night before and so we didn't attempt canoeing.  Maybe next time. Hopefully may take the Aged Ps there at some point as my Dad has always wanted to go. Went out for a Thai meal on Saturday night and I had a Thai Red Curry with tofu - it was delicious and yet another meal to add to my repertoire.  Yay.

Went for a couple of drinkies with my crew (DD & Michele #sundayisthenewfriday) to Great John Street Hotel and Revolution on Sunday.  Very nice, very civilised.  After I'd left though there were some apparently shameful scenes in The Midland - don't get me started... :-)

Off to Apple today to get my iPad sorted (this is actually being typed on my laptop - I know, laptop, plugged in and everything) and thence perhaps meeting up with the lovely Liam (and the lovely Kate) for a coffee.  More hospital visiting tonight if Gwen is still in.  That's all.  J x

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Twitter Stuff

*I see Stuart Hall has had his sentence doubled to 30 months. Excellent use of the joker by the Crown Prosecution Service.

*'All the shingle ladies,


All the shingle ladies…'

- Super cool old folks' home.

*I'm getting tired of having to write 'Sent from my iPhone' at the end of every email. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.

Thank you. Am having a day off today (been a busy weekend). Normal blog service will resume tomorrow. J x

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I Felt So Happy I Almost Cried And Then He Kissed Me

Still on shuffle.

OMG, OMG, Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves.  Big Large Bunny Warren and I saw a drag queen singing this one night and we actually threw money.  Happy times.  J x

Two Vodkas Two Beers

So that's what I've had with dinner (that's a Southern dinner - evening - and not a Northern dinner - lunchtime) which makes it sound better. So I'm in the mood for blogging.  Who's with me?

Anyway, I'll start with the most recent and then work backwards as that's more likely to produce an accurate account... So today I've done fuck all beyond washing, gardening, drinking, cooking, eating, watching ROYAL FUCKING BABY stuff on the TV, catching up with emails, tweets, texts etc (I'm so IT media literate I sometimes amaze myself :-))  I also watched that Burton/Taylor thing on BBC4 tonight.  I really enjoyed it.  I thought Bonham-Carter was particularly good which I was pleased about as I'm fed up with her doing her standard Tim Burton mad as a box of frogs stuff. Timothy thingy was also really good as Burton.  Is his name Timothy?  No its not, Dominic West is his name.  Was in The Hour with that guy DD drools over.  Anyway, he was really good too.

Also caught up on some Luther which I'd recorded.  Oh My God.  I would so jump Idris Elba.  He's fantastic.  Loved him ever since The Wire.

Fig left this morning and has arrived home safe and sound in (rural) Brighton - Saltdean actually.  I LOVED having him to stay and I love him dearly as do you all.  He is unique and fabulous and I'm so glad he's in my life.  Incidentally his new nick name is Enormous Big Bunny Warren.  You had to be there... Although he'll always be Pushkin to me :-)

Last night was the Showcase at The Lowry.  OMG.  Really, words don't suffice.  A hundred am-dram companies all on stage singing their star-struck little hearts out.  Highlight for me was the ultimate song in the "Memphis" segment.  Fig found it derivative and hated it.  So go figure.  He hates Rent and I love it so you know to trust my judgement and not his.  We walked home afterwards.  I know.  Walked.  The trams were missing in action so we had no choice but we amused ourselves by being very amusing during the journey.  Fig had a step counter on and walked 14,000 steps.  This is good apparently.  But in The Lowry bar after the show everyone who had been on stage was acting as though they were on coke.  The adrenaline rush was amazing and just really good to experience.

I'm listening to my party soundtrack on shuffle as I type.  Daddy Cool has just come on.  I love Boney M. And just for Mr T, Howling Wolf has just followed it :-) Happy Birthday Mr T by the way.  Hopefully you met him at my party (he was there briefly early on) and here's hoping he comes to next year's party (21/06/2014 - put it in your diaries now). And now for Michele, Bob Dylan, Lay Lady Lay.  Hope the cafe sorts itself out soon.  Readers, you should get your arses to Uppermill for Michele's Cafe.  The place is fabulous and since Michele catered my party you know the food is going to be delicious.

So yesterday has been dealt with (apart from the showcase we did some shopping - Fig bought, I didn't, and met DD and Glynis at the Radisson - cute twin barmen).  Saturday was, of course, Macbeth.  What we'd been waiting for all festival long. Leaving aside the fact that DD again proved she's human and fallible (who knew?) - i.e. we got lost getting there - it was a fabulous show.  There were one or two minor things that didn't work for me (the weird sisters for instance) but having processed everything I realise I was wrong to pick on these things and not focus on the things that were fabulous about it - Kenneth (stunning), Alex (a revelation), the staging (visceral), the venue (inspired), the mud (er, muddy) etc.  I loved it and am glad I gave it a standing ovation even though at the time I only did it because everyone else did it. Incidentally, Divine has just come on the soundtrack singing Native Love.  Divine was unsurpassed.  May she rest in peace.

Had food in Avalanche after the play (only place we could get in) but it was fine.  Liked the food. OMG Amii Stewart.  Its been so long. Knock, knock on wood.....

Friday.  Hmmmmm.  What happened on Friday?  Not really sure.  I know Fig and I ended up in Napoleons talking to Jan/Ian who liked to "dress" as a whore.  Only in Manchester.  How often can you go out and meet a guy dressed in bra and pants (with washing instructions on display) in a bar? Not often enough in my opinion.  Meatloaf and Cher.  Love. Oh fuck off Amy Winehouse...

And I think that"s about all.  Got a load of Macmillan stuff coming up, an article to write for ARC News,  a weekend in Poulton-Le-Fylde and the Lakes etc.  Phew.

Keep safe and keep clean (anyone seen the stuff on HPV and oral cancer recently?) and tune in for updates later in the week.  And stay out of the fog.  Love you all.  J x




Monday, July 22, 2013

All Alone

Little Figgy has flown the nest.  We had a fabulous time which I'll tell you all about once I've fully recovered from the experience.  Catch y'all later.  J x

Friday, July 19, 2013

So Posting is Little Difficult in the Absence of my iPad

Hopefully will get things sorted soon and back to normal. Bear with me in the meantime. J x

My iPad has Died

Long live the iPad. Obviously I need to pay a visit to the Apple store although I'm a little apprehensive about them accessing everything I've looked at recently (warts and all, remember).  On the same topic apparently a university wanted to do a comparison study between men who had accessed pornography online and those who hadn't. But they couldn't find any men who hadn't accessed pornography...

Went to see The Hothouse today with John Simm and Simon Russell Beale (and, bizarrely, Christopher Timothy). I tell you readers, words fail me. It is one of the best things I have ever seen on stage. It's by Harold Pinter (doesn't matter what you say as long as you leave enough gaps) and was by turns hysterically funny and also tragically sad and sinister. It is also a study on bureaucracy and is as relevant today as when it was written (1958). SRB is a genius and completely steals the show. But Simm is also fantastically sinister. Well worth the trip to London.

Followed my theatricality with a couple of martinis at Number One (its air conditioned OK)


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

God, do we pay MPs for this?

Just get on with it and pass the bloody bill.... J x

Watching BBC Parliament

Equal Marriage passing into law. Momentous. Lots of people wearing pink carnations.  :-) J x

Monday, July 15, 2013

Mal de Debarquement

Incidentally, were readers aware that one can get sick from simply getting off a train. It's true! Trust the bloody French though... J x

Dawn

This was the view from my balcony at 0430 this morning.  Just beautiful.  J x




Sunday, July 14, 2013

Ooops

Of course that should have been 99%, not 10%. Sorry. Clearly not that resonant... :-) J x

Punjabi!

http://youtu.be/hr4Hh34p3LM

Just realised this is my 1100th post. Should probably have used it for something more serious but WTF.  Punjabi! J x

Lip News

Have spoken today to Nurse Jackie. She tells me that Doctor Yvonne has not had a reply from The Christie and so has determined to carry out the operation on my lip herself.  Nurse Jackie has agreed to hold me down whilst Doctor Yvonne wields her axe... J x


The Fearless and the Free

The Masque of Anarchy last night was stunning. Maxine Peake declaimed her drawers off. The place (Albert Hall) was packed and very atmospheric since lit mainly by hundreds of candles (I'm sure there was an Health & Safety officer tied up in a cupboard somewhere).  Maxine then took to the stage dressed in a white sort of smock dress (very Peterloo 1819) and carrying a single candle which she placed amongst the others on the stage.  She then read the Shelley poem that he composed in response to the Peterloo Massacre. But she did this without the text in front of her, all from memory.  And the text is 11 pages long.  Incredible.  But not only did she speak the poem aloud she imbued it with a drama and pathos over and above the mere words.  The effect was electrifying.  She was just stunning.

That the words have power and resonance even today some 200 years later is evident when one considers that the very last line of the poem is "Ye are many - they are few". The very same slogan adopted by a lot of the anti-capitalist/tax avoidance protests of recent times: the whole 10% thing.

It was so powerful we had to repair to The Midland hotel afterwards for more drinks. :-) Usual array of shocking outfits.

I say more drinks because we'd had cocktails round at mine beforehand in a vain attempt to use up some of the alcohol I have on hand.  I am precluded from publishing pictures of anyone else on here so you'll have to be content with a picture of me reprising my Coronation Street eyebrow...



Today was otherwise a quiet day. Apart from the cricket.  Madam came round to watch it.  To be fair it was quite exciting - even if I was at Sainsburys when it did eventually finish.

Now sat on the terrace enjoying a martini (vodka o'clock) and updating y'all. No plans for tonight so it's Countryfile and the papers for me.  That's all. J x


Saturday, July 13, 2013

One Night In Bangkok

Went to see The Machine last night with LL.  And apart from the heat in the venue (Campfield Market Hall) it was a fabulous production.  The staging, the script and the acting were all first rate.  Here's a picture -


Luckily we'd been warned about the heat and so had taken fans and iced water with us.  We were sat next to the theatre critic from the Financial Times and so I will have to buy that paper today to see what he thought and to see if he mentions the two annoying people waving fans sat next to him!

Then went for a cocktail (or 6!) in Cloud 23 with LL and DD.  And here's a picture of that (a very arty one as you can see the reflection of the bar staff in the glass of the window). I'm so clever... :-)


Cloud 23 was rather pleasingly full of trannies as this weekend is Sparkle - a national event celebrating all things transgendered.  The only disappointment is that it means that when I go clubbing with Fig next weekend we are unlikely to find any trannies to talk to as they'll all be at home recovering from this weekend :-( 

Maxine Peake and the Masque of Anarchy tonight.  Going to that Cuban restaurant on Peter Street for a meal first.  That's all. J x

Friday, July 12, 2013

Hurrah

Success!  I'll leave the audit trail there for you all to see so that you can see what a stressful day I'm having he at home... :-) J x

Annoying me now....

Does this one work?

And again

Does this&nbsp;<a href="http://m.macmillan.org.uk/home">one</a><span style="background-color: white; ">&nbsp;work?</span><div><div id="paragraph" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; color: black; line-height: normal; "></div> </div>

Try again with link....

Does this one work? 

So here's a post composed using Textilus.  Let's see how that works for you. And here's some stuff in a different size and font.... I tell you, if I'd found this earlier my party invites would have been so much better.  :-) J x


Well, the font seems to convert all the applications I use rather than copy over.  Interesting to know.  I'm going to have so much fun.... :-)

Hopefully the link function works too.  J x

In Other News...

... the film was rubbish.

I've also discovered a rather handy word processing App for iPad. All I need to do now is buy a connection to my printer and then I'm good to go.  It allows me to insert links, different fonts etc and then copy and paste all this wonderfulness into other programmes too. It also has one of those handy cursor-moving buttons on the virtual keyboard.  Apple should copy that because its dead useful. I'm going to try it out on blogger now. Back in a mo. Jj x

Today I Have Been Mostly....

.... thinking about other people. Aaaah.  There's nice.

Oh, and also being hurtfully sarcastic about Mrs T's bad foot.  Honestly, I couldn't help myself.  It's like an illness (my sarcasm obviously, not her foot - that's probably just a bunion or something, you know what an attention seeker she is). 

Tonight am off with LL to see The Machine and to eat and to drink as well in all probability.  J x

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Party Shoes

Here are some. 


Guess which ones I'm wearing! 

Have other party photos but not sure of the sensitivities of others re publishing them on here... J x

A Pictorial Evening

Here we are on the terrace at RB&G. DD is wondering quite what I see in the little tattooed waiter...

A rather quiet Gorilla bar...


And finally a street full of tattooed thugs...


That's all.  Night tout le monde. J x



Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Blogging Live From a Bar Near You

Have just called into a very quiet Gorilla for a martini on my way home from a productive shift on the helpline which followed a productive meeting in Wythenshawe discussing Macmillan matters...

But The Ritz has just emptied over the road and now the streets are swamped with tattooed thugs. And not the attractive sort either :-) No idea who was playing...

In between the productive stuff I met Denise and Stuart at Restaurant Bar & Grill for free drinks and canapés. Honestly it was like my party all over again except the drinks were beer, wine and prosecco and the canapés weren't a patch on Michele's - even though I did rather enjoy the cream cheese in Parmesan baskets. They'd really pushed the boat out though and provided loads of food and drink. Respect to RB&G.

Unable to post photos from my phone but will endeavour to do so when I get home. J x

In Other News...

... had a late lunch at Rosso (food wasn't good) with Glynis and DD (company excellent). DD and myself later made our way to the Lass O'Gowrie (it's a pub) where we saw a fringe festival production called "Suspended in Space". It was a nice idea but badly written and, for the most part, poorly executed. The premise was a sci-fi convention where three people get stuck in a lift: a bit part actor from a long defunct series (in a home made costume - because they wouldn't let him keep the original), the star of the same series since fallen on hard times and one of the geeky nerds from the conference who is beside himself at finding himself in a lift with the other two.  The latter actor was quite good, the others less so. Back stories emerged over the course of the play whilst they are stuck in the lift but they're not good or clever enough to be particularly interesting or challenging.  Shame.  Glad to be supporting local (aspiring) talent though.  There were 14 other people in the audience.  Bless :-)

We then had a couple of cocktails at The Palace Hotel where the service was vastly improved from the last time we were there 2 years ago.  Aaaaaah, the memories: DD, Damon.... It was then back to DD's for cheeses and taters: my new favourite meal.

Have a Macmillan meeting later today followed by complimentary drinks and canapés at Restaurant Bar & Grill as they launch their summer menu and then am on the helpline.  Busy man, busy times.  Tomorrow is rather more gentle with just the cinema (After Earth) in the evening with my friend, the angel, Gillian. That's all for now.  J x

Oh update, mother still not had chemotherapy yet as her blood count hasn't risen enough. She's got a scan today (CT I think) and then an MRI (tomorrow?) and sees her oncologist on Monday.  She's hoping they'll say she doesn't need any more chemo and can go straight onto radiotherapy.  Fingers crossed.  

I'd Forgotten This

Here's a picture from the disco held in the festival tent after the aforementioned Rob Da Bank debacle disco.  As you can see it looks a lot more fun... J x


Tuesday, July 09, 2013

First in an Occasional Series...

.... of Twitter shares.

Now I'm not 100% sure of the demographics of my readership but I suspect the majority of you don't subscribe to Twitter and, even if you did, you probably don't follow the same people I do. Hopefully therefore anything I share with you from Twitter will be new and fresh. If it isn't, sorry. Try not to read any Twitter posts. :-)

1.  You're like honey. Sweet.... but slow and thick.

2.  Starting to think the three blind mice may have been moles.

I thank you.  I'm here all week.  Tell your friends.  :-) J x

OK, So I'm Up And Dressed And Ready To Commence My Day

It's a start OK? Don't judge me... J x

Just Trawling The Archives....


Art!


Beauty!


Religion!
(and beauty)


Bruises!
(and beauty)


Sport!
(and beauty)


Midsummer!

And that's all for now.  But no way is this over yet.... J x




















Monday, July 08, 2013

You'll Not See The Last of it Now, Mark my Words


Had coffee at the Royal Exchange today, looked up and saw this.  Beautiful.


And they've opened up a bit of the town hall - this is the corridor that leads to the new customer service centre.


And I just love this. YMCA! 

Oh go on then, one more....


Here's me on the knee of Hermes in the Copenhagen cruising park :-) J x




So Now I'm looking For Photos I Love....


Some Copenhagen pics but I do really need to go to bed now... J x


What Else Is There?


I love this photo. And I love Fig. J x





More Photos


I seem to have suddenly discovered how to publish photos (I'm sure this facility wasn't there before). Anyway, here's the laydeez on their way home last night as dawn breaks.... J x

Hopefully there is a photo attached here of me and my cousins, Robert & David, at the party. They are so fuming cool.  They travelled from London to Manchester for my party. Up and back in a day. I'll need to get together with them next time I'm in London. J x 

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Random Thoughts

I know I'm tired and hungover because I'm tearing up watching Mamma Mia and I abhor the film and the whole juke box musical thing. But you do have to hand it to Meryl Streep, she has quite a good singing voice.  And what is it with Colin Firth and playing gay roles?  Me and the lovely Lesley watched A Single Man last night before we embarked on an arts marathon (see below). It's an absolutely beautiful film in every sense of the word and I'd do Mr F any day of the week. I'd also do the Spanish guy who looks like James Dean.

Saw "Are We Powerless" at The Albert Hall yesterday afternoon.  V interesting. The panel were excellent and Evan Davis introduced it.  it was also filmed for The Culture Show so you may see me, DD and Marie (congrats on the promotion) on a TV screen near you any day soon. Adam Curtiss's thoughts on economics and how we should try to inject "love" as a concept in the economic lexicon were very thought provoking.  Didn't take to that guy who wrote Chavs though. Too old school socialist for me.  Owen something. I've no doubt Jane will refresh my memory...

Then it was Rob Da Bank at Festival Square. An 80s disco is how it was billed with an A to Z of Manchester. Apparently an A to Z of Manchester doesn't include K for Kylie or J for Jason nor indeed an H for Hazell Dean or an F for Ferrara.  Oh I could go on.....  It was all Manchester/Madchester stuff i.e. of no interest to me at all :-) The crowd seemed to enjoy it though. I spent most of the time sat outside the tent talking to the guru from Pakistan who we'd met the previous night in Festival Square.  The disco started at 2300 and finished around 0200 and its at that point that the evening got really interesting.  We then jumped in a taxi and headed down to the Whitworth Art Gallery where Nikhil Chopra was presenting  Coal on Cotton: "A live performance for 65 continuous hours in the yet-to-be-completed landscape gallery" (it says here).  I was quite moved by it even though by the time we got there the artist was actually just asleep on the floor.  But the work he had completed so far was quite interesting and the whole venue was just really calm and peaceful.  It was rather lucky that the weather was so good though as the roof of the extension as not yet been completed. We had a coffee at the cafe and then headed back into Manchester (walking) as the sun rose.  Truly magical (despite us all being quite drunk :-).... I got to bed at 0500.  I know!

Today has been a recovery day.

Oh and I need to tell you about The Old Woman.  Me and the aforementioned lovely Lesley (should I just refer to her as LL from now on?  Is that a bit Welsh though?) went to The Palace Theatre to see this play.  OMG it was amazing.  In some ways similar to The Life and Times of Marina Abramovitch (see review from 2 years ago)  given that it starred Willem Defoe and was directed by.... no,  I've forgotten, but the same guy that did the other one. But not quite as good because it was only Willem and Mikhail Baryshnikov on the stage the whole time and it didn't have Antony of Antony and the Johnsons (I love him). But fucking fantastic all the same.

Waterloo is just a sublime pop song.

Am excited that Michael Nyman is appearing at the Royal Northern College of Music (that well known paedophile den) and have booked a single ticket coz no-one else will want to see him.

When I started this blog entry I had a head full of random thoughts to share with you but I'm on a second martini (that's right, drinking on my own - so sue me) and so they've all gone now.  

Just seen that Geordie Shore is on MTV (Mamma Mia has finished obvs) so will check it out as I've never seen it before. 

And finally, before I press the "publish" button, I found out today that YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. So now you know too....

That's all my darlings. Looking forward to lots more arts over the coming days.  J x

Geordie Shore. Are they from Newcastle?

I'm sorry I really need to share a Geordie Show quote with you: "And no ones banging on about fanny because there's none here.  Just cock" (the guys have inadvertently walked into a tranny bar) 



Friday, July 05, 2013

Massive Attack

So, Abode was absolutely rubbish.  Every course was served a la Danish i.e. tepid. But the waiter was to die for.  It's been a long time since I fancied anyone quite as much as I fancied the waiter tonight. He was perfect from every angle.  And he walked like he knew you were watching! But he was an absolutely rubbish waiter.  I should probably talk to him about what else he could be doing for the money he earns there as clearly his heart isn't in  it...

Massive Attack though was really interesting.  I'm still processing what I saw and probably need a bit of time before I can blog about it.  To City Inn afterwards for more martinis.  Fab night.  That's all.  J x

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Today I Have Mostly Been Thinking About London

Mostly.  Also been talking to Mrs T.  And tonight I shall be partying to Massive Attack on the first night of the MIF. No idea what that's going to be like. I'll let you know.  J x

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

And So I'm Back...

So, Copenhagen was truly a wonderful place. The weather was mostly rubbish though although it didn't rain too much. But the sun didn't shine much either.

Journey over was fine even though via Easyjet. The apartments were good too. Quite central and clean and comfortable and with free wifi. And frankly what more do you want?

Highlights of the holiday included:

The Botanic Gardens (natch). These were really well curated and looked after and the palm house was stunning.  Opening hours here were odd though (as indeed they are throughout the rest of Copenhagen). 

Our little local "cruising" park.  Denise had discovered that this was a well known hang out for men looking for a little distraction but it was just a really lovely park too.  It had some glorious views and the planting was good and there were "classic" statues of Greek (or Roman - I'm never completely sure which are which) Gods everywhere.  Including everyone's favourite, Hermes.  Just looked up the Interweb and Hermes is Greek (like he could be anything else!). This really was our local park as it was literally over the road from our apartments.  The laydeez were most insistent that I go for a stroll after dark - they even threatened to take me there, tie me to a tree and leave me!  Readers, I was shocked. But I didn't explore the possibilities.  Those days are long gone.

The Royal Palaces. Now I'm not normally a fan of all things royal (nor do I particularly object to them) but the Danish Royals seem OK.  Queen Margrethe II even had her portrait done wearing full royal regalia whilst keeping her glasses on.  Sweet. Anyway, the Royal Palace is much as one would expect - all rococo chairs and fancy wallpaper - until one gets to the tapestry room.  A series of tapestries were commissioned for the queen's 50th birthday and they tell the entire history of Denmark from the Dark Ages onwards.  And they are absolutely stunning. I was completely blown away by them and had to rush around the rest of the rooms to ensure I got back to the shop before it closed (those bloody opening hours again) to buy a book on them. You can see a bit about them here  http://kongehuset.dk/english/Historical-Collections/Bjorn-Norgaards-tapestries/bjorn-norgaards-tapestries

The Glyptotek. Now this is a museum built by Mr Carlsberg (of the beer family) to house his collection of Greek, Roman and Egyptian statues (which no doubt have been added to over the years) and it is rather charming.  It has a lovely indoor "winter garden" with a recommended cafe.  Unfortunately I'd chosen to go on a Sunday when it's free entry so the place, including the cafe, was rammed.

The Louisiana art gallery.  This is a train trip out of town but is so worth the journey.  Stunning modern art gallery on the coast in beautiful grounds.  Unfortunately it was raining that day and so we weren't able to take advantage of the grounds and outdoor sculpture park.  But inside was well worth it anyway - apart from the Yoko Ono special exhibition. I'm sure that woman has talent (she was a recognised artist before her marriage) but I'm afraid I struggle with her stuff. The Mirror Room is an absolute wonder as is some of the Giacometti statuary (although to be fair he can be a bit samey - but it just shows how important it is to stage art properly. The proper staging can make all the difference). But the building itself is also a star. It's a maze of levels and corridors and staircases and unexpected windows framing lovey views. Just fantastic.

The company, of course, the laydeez.  DD, Lesley and Jackie are fab travelling companions and we had a good laugh as well as some heated debates.

Nimb.  My favourite Copenhagen bar.  Ruinously expensive but fabulous.

Shopping. They have an Hermes and a Louis Vuitton as well as a design department store (Illums). I bought 2 jumpers but not from these shops.  I also bought a green amber bracelet. Lovely.

Open sandwiches.  We dined "a la Danish" once and it was very nice.  Helped by a brief spell of sunny weather that allowed outdoor dining and a Nordic God for a waiter.  No-one had pickled herring though.

Less lovely though was the food generally.  The Danes seem to have an aversion to hot food.  Everything we were served (apart from our last night in an Italian) was served tepid.  Not good.

Also less good was the litter. We were genuinely surprised by how dirty the city streets were. There is also graffiti everywhere. 

The Danish Design Centre was also a disappointment for me.  I had expected a sort of museum or showcase for Danish Design (one of the main reasons for my trip) but it was more like offices for designers with no design as such on show.  They do apparently have special exhibitions from time to time but nothing was on show when I visited.  The woman in the cafe was also rude.  The problem I think was not so much the centre as my guide book which had led me to expect something else.  There is a design museum but by the time I found out my error it was too late to fit that into my itinerary. I maybe need to go back to see this and to see the Glass Museum which I also didn't manage to fit in.

The opening hours are also rubbish.  Lots of stuff closes on Sunday and only opens for half a day on Saturday. And you can forget late night opening.  This often includes cafes and bars.  Bizarre.

And finally I need to mention a shameful episode.  The laydeez would not forgive me if I did not.  Readers, they made me take a blindfolded (anyone else sensing an S&M undertone in their attitudes to me given the earlier "let's tie him to a tree episode?) vodka taste test in which they pitched Ciroc vodka (bought in Duty Free on the way out) against Karloff vodka bought at the local Netto. Yes, really. And I failed to identify the more expensive vodka. Quelle horreur. In my defence I would argue that neither of those vodkas are drunk regularly by me - the first taste of Ciroc I had was at my party and I've never even been in a Netto before.  I would like to think that if I pitched Belvedere or Chase against, say, Smirnoff the result would be different.  Am I brave enough to chance it though? Watch this space.

Now back in the UK and it was straight to a Macmillan meeting yesterday. It was very good and positive though.  Quiet day today (may watch the tennis) with Helpline duties tonight.  

Sorry for the delay in updating this but as you can see from above I've had quite a busy time. :-) I'm sure there's loads of stuff I've forgotten but my laydeez can fill in the gaps in comments if they can remember their passwords...!  That's all. J x