In a Twitter Mood

As a parent I often wonder if there's anything I could've done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face.

To find your real porn name, take the translation of your Chinese letter tramp stamp & add to the name of your mom's 4th alcoholic husband

The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate.

I hate going out when my fly's down. So I try to cheer him up by leaving him a little bit of excrement and a tiny bib.

I thank you. Not to everyone's taste that last one but it made me laugh. 

Now need to go and get ready again (don't ask) for tonight's celebrations. :-) J x