Birds

So this weekend has seen the return of a family of greenfinches to my nuts. Also a young blue tit. I'm really happy about that but even more exciting is the fact that I had a goldfinch today too. Never had a goldfinch before. Friday also saw a wood pigeon perched on my railings. Don't think I've had one of those before either. Just the feral bastard pigeons that shit all over my balcony. I hate them. 

Luckily I have a two step pigeon eradication plan. Step One: find out whether its illegal to kill feral pigeons. Step Two: buy a gun.... :-) J x

A Little Twitter Fun For All You French Speakers...

Ten, Twenty, Thirty, fourty, fifty, sixty, sixtyten, "what?" four twenties, "France, stop it" four twenties and ten. "France you're drunk"

Although I Have To Say....

.... Dragon Wasps doesn't look as exciting as it sounds. J x

http://youtu.be/mtF-u4q7dI4

Here You Go....

http://youtu.be/iwsqFR5bh6Q

I think this trailer does it justice :-) J x

Night All

I'm beside myself. Love you all. J x

I've Seen Everything Now

The "hero" just used a chainsaw to carve his way out of a shark's stomach. Oh and apparently it was the same shark that ate the plucky/dysfunctional barmaid who fell out of the helicopter - what were the chances? - so she escaped too. Fuck me. The person who wrote this is a genius. The end. J x

OMG II

The plucky barmaid with the gun/bomb just fell out of the helicopter and got eaten in midair by a shark. What were the chances of that?  J x

Sharknado

It's.real Sharknado now.  There are sharks flying through the air everywhere.  It's very (not really) exciting.  J x

I'm in heaven

Someone just said "I think we're going to need a bigger chopper". Fucking fabulous.  J x

And...

I'm one page hit off 78,000. Yay. J x

Oh no!

One of the "characters" lost her grandfather to a shark.  That why she really hates sharks. Her love interest just said " Now I really hate sharks too". How nice is that?  J x

So....

.... the plan is that we're going to fly the helicopter into the tornado and drop a bomb on it.  Apparently this will really stick it to the sharks.  I'm so,excited about the plan.  Yay the plan j x

What's The Fastest Way To Get Outta Here?

Oh look, there's a helicopter. Can it fly? I'm betting it can...

Matt? Dad? Mom?

There are sharks  everywhere. 

Ooops

The teacher who looked like a paedophile just had a house fall on him.  People come and go so quickly around here. And we've just had our first waterspout. Bring on the sharks on a plane. J x

I Recommend Admiral Insurance

Their current advert uses music from West Side Story. What's not to,like?  J x

OMG

The advert break includes adverts for upcoming films on Syfy. There's one called Dragon Wasps. Fucking Dragon Wasps.  How frightening are they going to be.  Dragons. And wasps.  Interbreeding. I'm scared just thinking about it.  Jx

Sharknado

So the water's full of blood from dead sharks (they killed them using a bookcase - go figure) and one character says "it looks like its that time of the month". Crass. And funny. J x

Sharknado

"There are sharks flooding the streets"

Moving

Here's Troye Sivan as you may have seen him (he's the young Wolverine) -

http://youtu.be/aCTDVNgNUeY

And here's how you might have not -

http://youtu.be/JoL-MnXvK80

I found this very moving and it made me cry.  He's incredibly brave to do this at his age in the industry he works in and I just hope it doesn't backfire on him. But how inspiring for other young gay people out there... J x

I've Been Gardening

I'm exhausted...

So, time for a martini and Sharknado I think... J x

Question

Why do sports coaches and sports managers, who quite often are older men and women, feel they need to wear shorts when they're training their people? It's not pretty, it's not clever and I, for one, am not in the least impressed.  Decorum please at all times.... and before anyone has a go at me about, for instance, my party trousers, I have cancer people and therefore the normal rules don't apply.  

On the subject of cancer I have spoken to Dr Yvonne and we have agreed that I will have a whole load of scans - CT scan, bone scan and brain scan.  The latter because I'm getting headaches but she does think this is unrelated to the cancer as I'm not nauseous at all which is what happens with a brain tumour apparently.  But I'm not complacent on this as a friend of DD's who has lung cancer also has a brain tumour so it is one of the places that lung cancer spreads to.

Have ordered all 4 (count them) Airport movies on DVD from Amazon following the posting of the Karen Black YouTube clip the other day.  Thinking of arranging a trash-movie-fest day soon :-) And on the subject of trash movies, I recorded Sharknado the other night (Syfy channel on Sky).  It's a film about a tornado that sucks up sharks from the sea into the air where they start attacking planes and helicopters and shit.  Sharks on a plane!  How fabulous do we al imagine that film is going to be?  I'll let you know. That's all.  J x

Sorry, One More Twitter

I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That's us in 10 years".  She said "That's a mirror". J x

Civil Partnership

So I'm home from the CP party.  Very good it was too.  At least as good as any party in Warrington can be.  Half the fun was the journey there and the journey back with Sara and Lesley. But the

party was good too.  I danced. I drank vodka. I chatted to gay people. And I talked to Diane too. I love Diane. And Alex. Possibly going to a barbecue tomorrow. We'll see.... J x

In a Twitter Mood

As a parent I often wonder if there's anything I could've done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face.

To find your real porn name, take the translation of your Chinese letter tramp stamp & add to the name of your mom's 4th alcoholic husband

The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate.

I hate going out when my fly's down. So I try to cheer him up by leaving him a little bit of excrement and a tiny bib.

I thank you. Not to everyone's taste that last one but it made me laugh. 

Now need to go and get ready again (don't ask) for tonight's celebrations. :-) J x

RIP Karen Black

Gone to the Five & Dime in the sky....

http://youtu.be/f6RheWo0-kg

http://youtu.be/yV18ISPtVIk

And finally....

http://youtu.be/4ohWsfpif7I

That's all j x

That Was Wierd

Something to do with the link no doubt.

Today has seen me at another Macmillan meeting (in Birchwood) which was very useful. And tonight DD is round for catch up TV (we have so much to catch up though). 

Have set up my new wi-if printer which, unusually for me and technology, seems to be working like a dream.  

Have also made an early appointment to see Dr Summers as have some odd pains in my right shoulder blade.  Probably nothing but better to be safe than sorry. That's all.  J x

This Is Interesting

But surely can't be right? Surely google should be the highest number?

http://onesecond.designly.com/

Had a fabulous meal at Dimitris last night 

with the ever fragrant Jude and the ever lovely DD. mushrooms in a blue cheese sauce (yum) andpotatoes sautéed with a selection of peppers. (Yum yum). That's all. J x

In Pieces

So I cried at the cinema earlier tonight - Gill and I went to see The Heat. Really good, funny film. But it got sentimental at the end which made me cry. And the amount of Botox that Sandra Bullock has had is obscene.  But I came home and watched Untouchable.  OMG what a fantastic film.  Cried buckets.  A little overly sentimental in places but based on a true story.  I wonder though whether in real life the carer was actually black or gay. It's French but if you get a chance to watch it then you should.

Last night was the party debrief including organisers, caterers, photographers and guests.  There was also an overly flirty Pakistani waiter just to add to the fun. As a result next year should be even better.  Midsummer's Night is a Saturday and so am torn between a theme of Saturday Night Fever or Midsummer Night.  Let me know what you think.  

Having a bit of "rib pain". But will be speaking to Dr Y tomorrow to sort out what I need to do about this.  Saw Lance, my beautiful dentist today too.  I also got a hug.  I love Lance.  I'm sure the hug had nothing to do with me committing to £5k of dental work...

Lots more to report but I need to go to bed now as have an early Macmillan meeting tomorrow. Night all.  J x 

I Love My Sofa

Wandered into town to see what's going on with all the garden/food stuff but bought a pair of jeans instead. Evening saw us in Don Marcos with Nicola & Steve. Very nice but town was so busy. Busiest I've seen it for ages. Could be a sign the economy is picking up (I can now see 9 cranes from my apartment) or could just be that the cricket stuff has rolled into town. Honestly, I barely see my carer these days. Someone is doing well in the cricket I believe but I'm not sure who. 

Out for party debrief and a curry tonight yum. That's all. J x

Morning All

So looks like the hot weather is at an end, at least for the next week or so.  In typical British fashion I've been complaining its too hot and now, no doubt, will start complaining that its too wet.  It was ever thus. :-)

So it's been a while since a proper blog so this might be a longer entry but, on the plus side, I'm not drunk at the moment and so it should be relatively sensible.  

Yesterday was a quiet day apart from staffing the helpline yesterday evening.  A quiet shift with just one call and no trainee.  Took the opportunity to catch up on all the news that is gay. Have you seen what is going on in Russia?  Putin has just brought in laws similar to Section 28 (no teaching of being gay as an acceptable sexuality) and has also banned Gay Pride marches.  I think we should boycott something to make our displeasure known.  I suggest we boycott Coca Cola who are sponsors of the Olympics next year in Sochi and the Athletics World Championships this year. I urge my readers to join me in this.

On Thursday I was interviewing for a Project Lead on the Macmillan project I'm involved in.  It was a long day (1100-1900) but worth it.  We got the right person in the end.  On the bonus side the room the interviews were taking place in was air conditioned!  It all took place at Manchester Conference Centre on Sackvile Street which is quite a nice (if somewhat dated) venue.  We had to score the candidates on a scale from zero to five and, for 4 out of the 5 candidates we were very consistent in our markings but one candidate really split the panel (me, an NHS person, a Macmillan person and someone from the local council). This candidate scored really badly from me and Macmillan but top marks from the NHS and the council.. We marked low because of no people skills whilst the others marked high for good process skills. Interesting.  A the end of the day it made no difference to the top candidate given the scores from the assessment centre they'd all gone through. Hopefully the project will take on a bit more momentum now.

Wednesday saw me, DD and Sara heading to Uppermill for lunch at Michele's cafe.  And very nice it was too. Good to see she was quite busy. I definitely recommend it.  We also had a stroll round the village and I bought some napkins. :-)

Today is another quiet day until this evening when I'm out with DD, Nicola and Steve.  Not quite sure what we're doing but DD has organised it and so we're in safe hands.  Tomorrow is curry and a party debrief with the key party personnel. May wander into town today to see what's going on with all this garden/food stuff.  And that's all folks.  J x

Sorry, will do a proper blog later but...

...this from Twitter: 

Cabbies, stop acting like paying with a credit card is the worst thing to happen to you since you were a child soldier in your homeland.

That is so wicked and yet so funny :-) J x

Cruising Twitter Whilst Cringing at CMS

So will share some stuff with you....

Again....

* To boost morale amongst those out of work, Jobcentres should have Unemployee Of The Month.

* I find it in poor taste that the 1am drive-thru attendant asks "How are you?"  Not good, Maria. Clearly.

* Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 1,846 times and you're the guy sending out emails telling me there are hot girls in my area right now.

* I think things are about to kick off. This guy's really been sizing me up for the last hour. *stares at tailor*

I thank you.  That's all. For now.  J x

They've All Got Crabs

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..... OMG, Liverpool. 

Beyond Excited

Celebrity Masterchef is just starting.  JSP and three people I've never heard of.... C'mon Janet.  J x

Twitter

I before E except after C has been disproved by science. :-) 

Yay. New iPad

Those lovely people at Apple couldn't fix my iPad (connectivity issues apparently) so they gave me a new one.  Straight away.  And it's got all my old stuff on it.  I love Apple.  J x

Catch Up

First the bad news, Gwen (DD's mother-in-law) whom many of you will have met at my party is in hospital.  She has a bad case of diverticulitis.  She's had this before but the current episode is quite severe and so they have taken her into hospital and are giving her IV antibiotics.  DD and I visited last night and she seems in really good spirits and didn't look too bad (apart from the bruising on her hand where the - oh what a surprise - careless staff had attempted to put in a cannula in).  She had a CT scan yesterday and will hopefully be allowed home once the results are known.  Luckily she has been taken in at the beginning of the working week so there is some hope that things will be done.

On the good nursing side, my old mate Nurse Jackie is struggling valiantly to get my lip sorted but Dr Yvonne is on holiday at the moment so it looks like things won't happen for a while yet. :-(

In other news I've done loads of Macmillan stuff recently and on Thursday will be taking part in an assessment centre and interview session to find a full time Project Manager for the project I'm currently involved with.

Saw Manchester Mum & Dad for a quick coffee and catch up on Thursday.  They had their grandson Tom with them - he is so cute (even though he barely looked up from his Nintendo DS!). Good to see them and hear their stories of their holiday in France.

I've also been to stay with the lovely Toby and the lovely Gill in Poulton-Le-Fylde.  What a pretty little town it is.  It reminds me a lot of some of the little towns and villages south of Manchester in Cheshire.  On the Saturday we went up to the Lake District (lucky with the weather as rain had been forecast) and spent some time around Conniston Water. It was beautiful.  I was feeling a little the worse for wear from the night before and so we didn't attempt canoeing.  Maybe next time. Hopefully may take the Aged Ps there at some point as my Dad has always wanted to go. Went out for a Thai meal on Saturday night and I had a Thai Red Curry with tofu - it was delicious and yet another meal to add to my repertoire.  Yay.

Went for a couple of drinkies with my crew (DD & Michele #sundayisthenewfriday) to Great John Street Hotel and Revolution on Sunday.  Very nice, very civilised.  After I'd left though there were some apparently shameful scenes in The Midland - don't get me started... :-)

Off to Apple today to get my iPad sorted (this is actually being typed on my laptop - I know, laptop, plugged in and everything) and thence perhaps meeting up with the lovely Liam (and the lovely Kate) for a coffee.  More hospital visiting tonight if Gwen is still in.  That's all.  J x

Twitter Stuff

*I see Stuart Hall has had his sentence doubled to 30 months. Excellent use of the joker by the Crown Prosecution Service.

*'All the shingle ladies,


All the shingle ladies…'

- Super cool old folks' home.

*I'm getting tired of having to write 'Sent from my iPhone' at the end of every email. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.

Thank you. Am having a day off today (been a busy weekend). Normal blog service will resume tomorrow. J x

I Felt So Happy I Almost Cried And Then He Kissed Me

Still on shuffle.

OMG, OMG, Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves.  Big Large Bunny Warren and I saw a drag queen singing this one night and we actually threw money.  Happy times.  J x

Two Vodkas Two Beers

So that's what I've had with dinner (that's a Southern dinner - evening - and not a Northern dinner - lunchtime) which makes it sound better. So I'm in the mood for blogging.  Who's with me?

Anyway, I'll start with the most recent and then work backwards as that's more likely to produce an accurate account... So today I've done fuck all beyond washing, gardening, drinking, cooking, eating, watching ROYAL FUCKING BABY stuff on the TV, catching up with emails, tweets, texts etc (I'm so IT media literate I sometimes amaze myself :-))  I also watched that Burton/Taylor thing on BBC4 tonight.  I really enjoyed it.  I thought Bonham-Carter was particularly good which I was pleased about as I'm fed up with her doing her standard Tim Burton mad as a box of frogs stuff. Timothy thingy was also really good as Burton.  Is his name Timothy?  No its not, Dominic West is his name.  Was in The Hour with that guy DD drools over.  Anyway, he was really good too.

Also caught up on some Luther which I'd recorded.  Oh My God.  I would so jump Idris Elba.  He's fantastic.  Loved him ever since The Wire.

Fig left this morning and has arrived home safe and sound in (rural) Brighton - Saltdean actually.  I LOVED having him to stay and I love him dearly as do you all.  He is unique and fabulous and I'm so glad he's in my life.  Incidentally his new nick name is Enormous Big Bunny Warren.  You had to be there... Although he'll always be Pushkin to me :-)

Last night was the Showcase at The Lowry.  OMG.  Really, words don't suffice.  A hundred am-dram companies all on stage singing their star-struck little hearts out.  Highlight for me was the ultimate song in the "Memphis" segment.  Fig found it derivative and hated it.  So go figure.  He hates Rent and I love it so you know to trust my judgement and not his.  We walked home afterwards.  I know.  Walked.  The trams were missing in action so we had no choice but we amused ourselves by being very amusing during the journey.  Fig had a step counter on and walked 14,000 steps.  This is good apparently.  But in The Lowry bar after the show everyone who had been on stage was acting as though they were on coke.  The adrenaline rush was amazing and just really good to experience.

I'm listening to my party soundtrack on shuffle as I type.  Daddy Cool has just come on.  I love Boney M. And just for Mr T, Howling Wolf has just followed it :-) Happy Birthday Mr T by the way.  Hopefully you met him at my party (he was there briefly early on) and here's hoping he comes to next year's party (21/06/2014 - put it in your diaries now). And now for Michele, Bob Dylan, Lay Lady Lay.  Hope the cafe sorts itself out soon.  Readers, you should get your arses to Uppermill for Michele's Cafe.  The place is fabulous and since Michele catered my party you know the food is going to be delicious.

So yesterday has been dealt with (apart from the showcase we did some shopping - Fig bought, I didn't, and met DD and Glynis at the Radisson - cute twin barmen).  Saturday was, of course, Macbeth.  What we'd been waiting for all festival long. Leaving aside the fact that DD again proved she's human and fallible (who knew?) - i.e. we got lost getting there - it was a fabulous show.  There were one or two minor things that didn't work for me (the weird sisters for instance) but having processed everything I realise I was wrong to pick on these things and not focus on the things that were fabulous about it - Kenneth (stunning), Alex (a revelation), the staging (visceral), the venue (inspired), the mud (er, muddy) etc.  I loved it and am glad I gave it a standing ovation even though at the time I only did it because everyone else did it. Incidentally, Divine has just come on the soundtrack singing Native Love.  Divine was unsurpassed.  May she rest in peace.

Had food in Avalanche after the play (only place we could get in) but it was fine.  Liked the food. OMG Amii Stewart.  Its been so long. Knock, knock on wood.....

Friday.  Hmmmmm.  What happened on Friday?  Not really sure.  I know Fig and I ended up in Napoleons talking to Jan/Ian who liked to "dress" as a whore.  Only in Manchester.  How often can you go out and meet a guy dressed in bra and pants (with washing instructions on display) in a bar? Not often enough in my opinion.  Meatloaf and Cher.  Love. Oh fuck off Amy Winehouse...

And I think that"s about all.  Got a load of Macmillan stuff coming up, an article to write for ARC News,  a weekend in Poulton-Le-Fylde and the Lakes etc.  Phew.

Keep safe and keep clean (anyone seen the stuff on HPV and oral cancer recently?) and tune in for updates later in the week.  And stay out of the fog.  Love you all.  J x

All Alone

Little Figgy has flown the nest.  We had a fabulous time which I'll tell you all about once I've fully recovered from the experience.  Catch y'all later.  J x

So Posting is Little Difficult in the Absence of my iPad

Hopefully will get things sorted soon and back to normal. Bear with me in the meantime. J x

My iPad has Died

Long live the iPad. Obviously I need to pay a visit to the Apple store although I'm a little apprehensive about them accessing everything I've looked at recently (warts and all, remember).  On the same topic apparently a university wanted to do a comparison study between men who had accessed pornography online and those who hadn't. But they couldn't find any men who hadn't accessed pornography...

Went to see The Hothouse today with John Simm and Simon Russell Beale (and, bizarrely, Christopher Timothy). I tell you readers, words fail me. It is one of the best things I have ever seen on stage. It's by Harold Pinter (doesn't matter what you say as long as you leave enough gaps) and was by turns hysterically funny and also tragically sad and sinister. It is also a study on bureaucracy and is as relevant today as when it was written (1958). SRB is a genius and completely steals the show. But Simm is also fantastically sinister. Well worth the trip to London.

Followed my theatricality with a couple of martinis at Number One (its air conditioned OK)

God, do we pay MPs for this?

Just get on with it and pass the bloody bill.... J x

Watching BBC Parliament

Equal Marriage passing into law. Momentous. Lots of people wearing pink carnations.  :-) J x

Mal de Debarquement

Incidentally, were readers aware that one can get sick from simply getting off a train. It's true! Trust the bloody French though... J x

Dawn

This was the view from my balcony at 0430 this morning.  Just beautiful.  J x

Ooops

Of course that should have been 99%, not 10%. Sorry. Clearly not that resonant... :-) J x

Punjabi!

http://youtu.be/hr4Hh34p3LM

Just realised this is my 1100th post. Should probably have used it for something more serious but WTF.  Punjabi! J x

Lip News

Have spoken today to Nurse Jackie. She tells me that Doctor Yvonne has not had a reply from The Christie and so has determined to carry out the operation on my lip herself.  Nurse Jackie has agreed to hold me down whilst Doctor Yvonne wields her axe... J x

The Fearless and the Free

The Masque of Anarchy last night was stunning. Maxine Peake declaimed her drawers off. The place (Albert Hall) was packed and very atmospheric since lit mainly by hundreds of candles (I'm sure there was an Health & Safety officer tied up in a cupboard somewhere).  Maxine then took to the stage dressed in a white sort of smock dress (very Peterloo 1819) and carrying a single candle which she placed amongst the others on the stage.  She then read the Shelley poem that he composed in response to the Peterloo Massacre. But she did this without the text in front of her, all from memory.  And the text is 11 pages long.  Incredible.  But not only did she speak the poem aloud she imbued it with a drama and pathos over and above the mere words.  The effect was electrifying.  She was just stunning.

That the words have power and resonance even today some 200 years later is evident when one considers that the very last line of the poem is "Ye are many - they are few". The very same slogan adopted by a lot of the anti-capitalist/tax avoidance protests of recent times: the whole 10% thing.

It was so powerful we had to repair to The Midland hotel afterwards for more drinks. :-) Usual array of shocking outfits.

I say more drinks because we'd had cocktails round at mine beforehand in a vain attempt to use up some of the alcohol I have on hand.  I am precluded from publishing pictures of anyone else on here so you'll have to be content with a picture of me reprising my Coronation Street eyebrow...

Today was otherwise a quiet day. Apart from the cricket.  Madam came round to watch it.  To be fair it was quite exciting - even if I was at Sainsburys when it did eventually finish.

Now sat on the terrace enjoying a martini (vodka o'clock) and updating y'all. No plans for tonight so it's Countryfile and the papers for me.  That's all. J x

One Night In Bangkok

Went to see The Machine last night with LL.  And apart from the heat in the venue (Campfield Market Hall) it was a fabulous production.  The staging, the script and the acting were all first rate.  Here's a picture -

Luckily we'd been warned about the heat and so had taken fans and iced water with us.  We were sat next to the theatre critic from the Financial Times and so I will have to buy that paper today to see what he thought and to see if he mentions the two annoying people waving fans sat next to him!

Then went for a cocktail (or 6!) in Cloud 23 with LL and DD.  And here's a picture of that (a very arty one as you can see the reflection of the bar staff in the glass of the window). I'm so clever... :-)

Cloud 23 was rather pleasingly full of trannies as this weekend is Sparkle - a national event celebrating all things transgendered.  The only disappointment is that it means that when I go clubbing with Fig next weekend we are unlikely to find any trannies to talk to as they'll all be at home recovering from this weekend :-( 

Maxine Peake and the Masque of Anarchy tonight.  Going to that Cuban restaurant on Peter Street for a meal first.  That's all. J x

Hurrah

Success!  I'll leave the audit trail there for you all to see so that you can see what a stressful day I'm having he at home... :-) J x

Annoying me now....

Does this one work?

And again

Does this&nbsp;<a href="http://m.macmillan.org.uk/home">one</a><span style="background-color: white; ">&nbsp;work?</span><div><div id="paragraph" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; color: black; line-height: normal; "></div> </div>

Try again with link....

Does this one work? 

So here's a post composed using Textilus.  Let's see how that works for you. And here's some stuff in a different size and font.... I tell you, if I'd found this earlier my party invites would have been so much better.  :-) J x

Well, the font seems to convert all the applications I use rather than copy over.  Interesting to know.  I'm going to have so much fun.... :-)

Hopefully the link function works too.  J x

In Other News...

... the film was rubbish.

I've also discovered a rather handy word processing App for iPad. All I need to do now is buy a connection to my printer and then I'm good to go.  It allows me to insert links, different fonts etc and then copy and paste all this wonderfulness into other programmes too. It also has one of those handy cursor-moving buttons on the virtual keyboard.  Apple should copy that because its dead useful. I'm going to try it out on blogger now. Back in a mo. Jj x

Today I Have Been Mostly....

.... thinking about other people. Aaaah.  There's nice.

Oh, and also being hurtfully sarcastic about Mrs T's bad foot.  Honestly, I couldn't help myself.  It's like an illness (my sarcasm obviously, not her foot - that's probably just a bunion or something, you know what an attention seeker she is). 

Tonight am off with LL to see The Machine and to eat and to drink as well in all probability.  J x

Party Shoes

Here are some. 

Guess which ones I'm wearing! 

Have other party photos but not sure of the sensitivities of others re publishing them on here... J x

A Pictorial Evening

Here we are on the terrace at RB&G. DD is wondering quite what I see in the little tattooed waiter...

A rather quiet Gorilla bar...

And finally a street full of tattooed thugs...

That's all.  Night tout le monde. J x

Blogging Live From a Bar Near You

Have just called into a very quiet Gorilla for a martini on my way home from a productive shift on the helpline which followed a productive meeting in Wythenshawe discussing Macmillan matters...

But The Ritz has just emptied over the road and now the streets are swamped with tattooed thugs. And not the attractive sort either :-) No idea who was playing...

In between the productive stuff I met Denise and Stuart at Restaurant Bar & Grill for free drinks and canapés. Honestly it was like my party all over again except the drinks were beer, wine and prosecco and the canapés weren't a patch on Michele's - even though I did rather enjoy the cream cheese in Parmesan baskets. They'd really pushed the boat out though and provided loads of food and drink. Respect to RB&G.

Unable to post photos from my phone but will endeavour to do so when I get home. J x

In Other News...

... had a late lunch at Rosso (food wasn't good) with Glynis and DD (company excellent). DD and myself later made our way to the Lass O'Gowrie (it's a pub) where we saw a fringe festival production called "Suspended in Space". It was a nice idea but badly written and, for the most part, poorly executed. The premise was a sci-fi convention where three people get stuck in a lift: a bit part actor from a long defunct series (in a home made costume - because they wouldn't let him keep the original), the star of the same series since fallen on hard times and one of the geeky nerds from the conference who is beside himself at finding himself in a lift with the other two.  The latter actor was quite good, the others less so. Back stories emerged over the course of the play whilst they are stuck in the lift but they're not good or clever enough to be particularly interesting or challenging.  Shame.  Glad to be supporting local (aspiring) talent though.  There were 14 other people in the audience.  Bless :-)

We then had a couple of cocktails at The Palace Hotel where the service was vastly improved from the last time we were there 2 years ago.  Aaaaaah, the memories: DD, Damon.... It was then back to DD's for cheeses and taters: my new favourite meal.

Have a Macmillan meeting later today followed by complimentary drinks and canapés at Restaurant Bar & Grill as they launch their summer menu and then am on the helpline.  Busy man, busy times.  Tomorrow is rather more gentle with just the cinema (After Earth) in the evening with my friend, the angel, Gillian. That's all for now.  J x

Oh update, mother still not had chemotherapy yet as her blood count hasn't risen enough. She's got a scan today (CT I think) and then an MRI (tomorrow?) and sees her oncologist on Monday.  She's hoping they'll say she doesn't need any more chemo and can go straight onto radiotherapy.  Fingers crossed.  

I'd Forgotten This

Here's a picture from the disco held in the festival tent after the aforementioned Rob Da Bank debacle disco.  As you can see it looks a lot more fun... J x

First in an Occasional Series...

.... of Twitter shares.

Now I'm not 100% sure of the demographics of my readership but I suspect the majority of you don't subscribe to Twitter and, even if you did, you probably don't follow the same people I do. Hopefully therefore anything I share with you from Twitter will be new and fresh. If it isn't, sorry. Try not to read any Twitter posts. :-)

1.  You're like honey. Sweet.... but slow and thick.

2.  Starting to think the three blind mice may have been moles.

I thank you.  I'm here all week.  Tell your friends.  :-) J x

OK, So I'm Up And Dressed And Ready To Commence My Day

It's a start OK? Don't judge me... J x

Just Trawling The Archives....

Art!

Beauty!

Religion!

(and beauty)

Bruises!

(and beauty)

Sport!

(and beauty)

Midsummer!

And that's all for now.  But no way is this over yet.... J x

You'll Not See The Last of it Now, Mark my Words

Had coffee at the Royal Exchange today, looked up and saw this.  Beautiful.

And they've opened up a bit of the town hall - this is the corridor that leads to the new customer service centre.

And I just love this. YMCA! 

Oh go on then, one more....

Here's me on the knee of Hermes in the Copenhagen cruising park :-) J x

So Now I'm looking For Photos I Love....

Some Copenhagen pics but I do really need to go to bed now... J x

What Else Is There?

I love this photo. And I love Fig. J x

More Photos

I seem to have suddenly discovered how to publish photos (I'm sure this facility wasn't there before). Anyway, here's the laydeez on their way home last night as dawn breaks.... J x

Hopefully there is a photo attached here of me and my cousins, Robert & David, at the party. They are so fuming cool.  They travelled from London to Manchester for my party. Up and back in a day. I'll need to get together with them next time I'm in London. J x 

Random Thoughts

I know I'm tired and hungover because I'm tearing up watching Mamma Mia and I abhor the film and the whole juke box musical thing. But you do have to hand it to Meryl Streep, she has quite a good singing voice.  And what is it with Colin Firth and playing gay roles?  Me and the lovely Lesley watched A Single Man last night before we embarked on an arts marathon (see below). It's an absolutely beautiful film in every sense of the word and I'd do Mr F any day of the week. I'd also do the Spanish guy who looks like James Dean.

Saw "Are We Powerless" at The Albert Hall yesterday afternoon.  V interesting. The panel were excellent and Evan Davis introduced it.  it was also filmed for The Culture Show so you may see me, DD and Marie (congrats on the promotion) on a TV screen near you any day soon. Adam Curtiss's thoughts on economics and how we should try to inject "love" as a concept in the economic lexicon were very thought provoking.  Didn't take to that guy who wrote Chavs though. Too old school socialist for me.  Owen something. I've no doubt Jane will refresh my memory...

Then it was Rob Da Bank at Festival Square. An 80s disco is how it was billed with an A to Z of Manchester. Apparently an A to Z of Manchester doesn't include K for Kylie or J for Jason nor indeed an H for Hazell Dean or an F for Ferrara.  Oh I could go on.....  It was all Manchester/Madchester stuff i.e. of no interest to me at all :-) The crowd seemed to enjoy it though. I spent most of the time sat outside the tent talking to the guru from Pakistan who we'd met the previous night in Festival Square.  The disco started at 2300 and finished around 0200 and its at that point that the evening got really interesting.  We then jumped in a taxi and headed down to the Whitworth Art Gallery where Nikhil Chopra was presenting  Coal on Cotton: "A live performance for 65 continuous hours in the yet-to-be-completed landscape gallery" (it says here).  I was quite moved by it even though by the time we got there the artist was actually just asleep on the floor.  But the work he had completed so far was quite interesting and the whole venue was just really calm and peaceful.  It was rather lucky that the weather was so good though as the roof of the extension as not yet been completed. We had a coffee at the cafe and then headed back into Manchester (walking) as the sun rose.  Truly magical (despite us all being quite drunk :-).... I got to bed at 0500.  I know!

Today has been a recovery day.

Oh and I need to tell you about The Old Woman.  Me and the aforementioned lovely Lesley (should I just refer to her as LL from now on?  Is that a bit Welsh though?) went to The Palace Theatre to see this play.  OMG it was amazing.  In some ways similar to The Life and Times of Marina Abramovitch (see review from 2 years ago)  given that it starred Willem Defoe and was directed by.... no,  I've forgotten, but the same guy that did the other one. But not quite as good because it was only Willem and Mikhail Baryshnikov on the stage the whole time and it didn't have Antony of Antony and the Johnsons (I love him). But fucking fantastic all the same.

Waterloo is just a sublime pop song.

Am excited that Michael Nyman is appearing at the Royal Northern College of Music (that well known paedophile den) and have booked a single ticket coz no-one else will want to see him.

When I started this blog entry I had a head full of random thoughts to share with you but I'm on a second martini (that's right, drinking on my own - so sue me) and so they've all gone now.  

Just seen that Geordie Shore is on MTV (Mamma Mia has finished obvs) so will check it out as I've never seen it before. 

And finally, before I press the "publish" button, I found out today that YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. So now you know too....

That's all my darlings. Looking forward to lots more arts over the coming days.  J x

Geordie Shore. Are they from Newcastle?

I'm sorry I really need to share a Geordie Show quote with you: "And no ones banging on about fanny because there's none here.  Just cock" (the guys have inadvertently walked into a tranny bar) 

Massive Attack

So, Abode was absolutely rubbish.  Every course was served a la Danish i.e. tepid. But the waiter was to die for.  It's been a long time since I fancied anyone quite as much as I fancied the waiter tonight. He was perfect from every angle.  And he walked like he knew you were watching! But he was an absolutely rubbish waiter.  I should probably talk to him about what else he could be doing for the money he earns there as clearly his heart isn't in  it...

Massive Attack though was really interesting.  I'm still processing what I saw and probably need a bit of time before I can blog about it.  To City Inn afterwards for more martinis.  Fab night.  That's all.  J x

Today I Have Mostly Been Thinking About London

Mostly.  Also been talking to Mrs T.  And tonight I shall be partying to Massive Attack on the first night of the MIF. No idea what that's going to be like. I'll let you know.  J x

And So I'm Back...

So, Copenhagen was truly a wonderful place. The weather was mostly rubbish though although it didn't rain too much. But the sun didn't shine much either.

Journey over was fine even though via Easyjet. The apartments were good too. Quite central and clean and comfortable and with free wifi. And frankly what more do you want?

Highlights of the holiday included:

The Botanic Gardens (natch). These were really well curated and looked after and the palm house was stunning.  Opening hours here were odd though (as indeed they are throughout the rest of Copenhagen). 

Our little local "cruising" park.  Denise had discovered that this was a well known hang out for men looking for a little distraction but it was just a really lovely park too.  It had some glorious views and the planting was good and there were "classic" statues of Greek (or Roman - I'm never completely sure which are which) Gods everywhere.  Including everyone's favourite, Hermes.  Just looked up the Interweb and Hermes is Greek (like he could be anything else!). This really was our local park as it was literally over the road from our apartments.  The laydeez were most insistent that I go for a stroll after dark - they even threatened to take me there, tie me to a tree and leave me!  Readers, I was shocked. But I didn't explore the possibilities.  Those days are long gone.

The Royal Palaces. Now I'm not normally a fan of all things royal (nor do I particularly object to them) but the Danish Royals seem OK.  Queen Margrethe II even had her portrait done wearing full royal regalia whilst keeping her glasses on.  Sweet. Anyway, the Royal Palace is much as one would expect - all rococo chairs and fancy wallpaper - until one gets to the tapestry room.  A series of tapestries were commissioned for the queen's 50th birthday and they tell the entire history of Denmark from the Dark Ages onwards.  And they are absolutely stunning. I was completely blown away by them and had to rush around the rest of the rooms to ensure I got back to the shop before it closed (those bloody opening hours again) to buy a book on them. You can see a bit about them here  http://kongehuset.dk/english/Historical-Collections/Bjorn-Norgaards-tapestries/bjorn-norgaards-tapestries

The Glyptotek. Now this is a museum built by Mr Carlsberg (of the beer family) to house his collection of Greek, Roman and Egyptian statues (which no doubt have been added to over the years) and it is rather charming.  It has a lovely indoor "winter garden" with a recommended cafe.  Unfortunately I'd chosen to go on a Sunday when it's free entry so the place, including the cafe, was rammed.

The Louisiana art gallery.  This is a train trip out of town but is so worth the journey.  Stunning modern art gallery on the coast in beautiful grounds.  Unfortunately it was raining that day and so we weren't able to take advantage of the grounds and outdoor sculpture park.  But inside was well worth it anyway - apart from the Yoko Ono special exhibition. I'm sure that woman has talent (she was a recognised artist before her marriage) but I'm afraid I struggle with her stuff. The Mirror Room is an absolute wonder as is some of the Giacometti statuary (although to be fair he can be a bit samey - but it just shows how important it is to stage art properly. The proper staging can make all the difference). But the building itself is also a star. It's a maze of levels and corridors and staircases and unexpected windows framing lovey views. Just fantastic.

The company, of course, the laydeez.  DD, Lesley and Jackie are fab travelling companions and we had a good laugh as well as some heated debates.

Nimb.  My favourite Copenhagen bar.  Ruinously expensive but fabulous.

Shopping. They have an Hermes and a Louis Vuitton as well as a design department store (Illums). I bought 2 jumpers but not from these shops.  I also bought a green amber bracelet. Lovely.

Open sandwiches.  We dined "a la Danish" once and it was very nice.  Helped by a brief spell of sunny weather that allowed outdoor dining and a Nordic God for a waiter.  No-one had pickled herring though.

Less lovely though was the food generally.  The Danes seem to have an aversion to hot food.  Everything we were served (apart from our last night in an Italian) was served tepid.  Not good.

Also less good was the litter. We were genuinely surprised by how dirty the city streets were. There is also graffiti everywhere. 

The Danish Design Centre was also a disappointment for me.  I had expected a sort of museum or showcase for Danish Design (one of the main reasons for my trip) but it was more like offices for designers with no design as such on show.  They do apparently have special exhibitions from time to time but nothing was on show when I visited.  The woman in the cafe was also rude.  The problem I think was not so much the centre as my guide book which had led me to expect something else.  There is a design museum but by the time I found out my error it was too late to fit that into my itinerary. I maybe need to go back to see this and to see the Glass Museum which I also didn't manage to fit in.

The opening hours are also rubbish.  Lots of stuff closes on Sunday and only opens for half a day on Saturday. And you can forget late night opening.  This often includes cafes and bars.  Bizarre.

And finally I need to mention a shameful episode.  The laydeez would not forgive me if I did not.  Readers, they made me take a blindfolded (anyone else sensing an S&M undertone in their attitudes to me given the earlier "let's tie him to a tree episode?) vodka taste test in which they pitched Ciroc vodka (bought in Duty Free on the way out) against Karloff vodka bought at the local Netto. Yes, really. And I failed to identify the more expensive vodka. Quelle horreur. In my defence I would argue that neither of those vodkas are drunk regularly by me - the first taste of Ciroc I had was at my party and I've never even been in a Netto before.  I would like to think that if I pitched Belvedere or Chase against, say, Smirnoff the result would be different.  Am I brave enough to chance it though? Watch this space.

Now back in the UK and it was straight to a Macmillan meeting yesterday. It was very good and positive though.  Quiet day today (may watch the tennis) with Helpline duties tonight.  

Sorry for the delay in updating this but as you can see from above I've had quite a busy time. :-) I'm sure there's loads of stuff I've forgotten but my laydeez can fill in the gaps in comments if they can remember their passwords...!  That's all. J x

Now Watching....

.... Sex And The City in Danish. V strange.  Had a fab night out tonight at Nimb & Radisson. Tell you about it later... :-) J x

Hello From Copenhagen

We've arrived and, the weather seems quite good. My apartment is nice but the ladeeyz are complaining because they don't have a balcony.  I think it's on account of the fact that we'd agreed that since they had a balcony the vodka could live in their apartment.  Without one the vodka may as well stay here. :-)

So far not seen much but we are off out to explore in a minute.  Flight was good (1hour 40 minutes) despite being by Easyjet.

Just had a text to say they're changing rooms so it could be a while before we go out exploring.  Apparently the national chain of supermarkets here is Netto.  I know!  More soon.  J x

Oh This Year We're Off To Sunny...

Actually, not sunny.  Copenhagen.  Design centre of the universe but no beaches.  Quite excited now. Free wi-fi at apartment (apparently) so expect lots of blogs. TTFN.  J x

You know it was a good party when...

... you have a two day hangover and you've just noticed the tattoo on your arm that wasn't there before the party.

I have found homes for the jacket and glasses that were left behind but still need to rehouse a black scarf.  Please get in touch.  J x

Thank You

The party exceeded my wildest expectations.  I had an absolutely fabulous time. And unlike the 49 party I can remember most of it!  May blog later as the whole night slowly seeps into my consciousness but I just wanted to thank a few people straight away - 

Denise, of course, for her help and organisational skills both before, during and after the party. It simply wouldn't have happened nor been such a success without her. I love you loads.

Michele, for the stunning canapés. They were out of this world and the preparation and skill that went into making them was magnificent. Thank you.

My parents and other family members who travelled so far to be here. Thank you, you made the night extra special.

Jim, Donna, Sarah and others who helped serve the canapés. Thank you so much guys.

Mariusz and Gerry, the barmen.  They were brilliant and managed to keep the queues down to a reasonable level.  Both are available for private bookings if wanted.  Give me a bell for details.

Marie for the "tattoo" :-)

Everyone for coming.  It was beyond fabulous and that was thanks to you.  See you next year.  J x

Just So You Know...

... it's not my birthday.  But thanks for the cards anyway :-) J x

P.S.  The photo online is nicer than the one in the newspaper.  Sorry for looking so miserable but they told me not to smile.

Not Ready For My Close Up

Happy with the story but not over the moon about the photo.  And I didn't feel unsupported once I'd been sent home.  Now leave me alone, I need to panic.... J x

Bloody Hell

Forgot to go to Stonehenge :-(

On the plus side the weather forecast isn't as bad as it was :-)

In further news on my media career I should be in your local newspaper today as well as on your local radio station.  All this plus a party to organise.... See you later. J x

Busy Busy Busy

Just busy OK?  

Just So You Know

This site is currently 33 hits short of 75,000 viewings.  Wow.  I mean like really wow.  Like OMFG wow. Just saying.... J x

I'm Eating My Freezer

I need to clear my freezer in order to accommodate all the ice needed for the cocktails so I have to eat everything in there.  It's not going to help my diet at all...

I also need to clear the fridges to accommodate the canapės which, I have to say, sound fabulous.  I saw the final list today and Michele is just going to blow your boots off with the selection.  Note: you may not want to wear boots.

 I started my party shopping today too.  I have acquired a box of sugar cubes and two jars of maraschino cherries as well as two unfeasibly large bottles of vodka.  So I'll be OK even if no-one else is... :-)

Current stats are 48 acceptances and 26 what do you mean the free booze runs out at 2100? No thanks thens...

Interesting party facts: 21/06 is the longest day and there will be 17 hours, 2 minutes and 14 seconds between sunrise and sunset.

In other news, Denise has gone to her nephew's wedding.  The best man's speech was, apparently, very emotional and they still haven't played Come on Eileen yet.  That's all.  J x

Back Now

Had a lovely time away.  Newcastle is quite a cool city (apart from the lack of decent shops).  Had cocktails in the Malmaison and lunch at The Baltic with Mrs T then it was off to Coldstream.  It's a gorgeous place on the banks of the Tweed and the weather was beautiful so we did a lovely walk through the town and the surrounding countryside. We also had a scrummy lasagne prepared by Mrs T's own fair hand.

Also had lunch at a lovely garden centre just outside Kelso.  Journey home was uneventful but I was clearly tired as I slept until 0830 this morning.  Then it was off to Warrington for lunch with Toby. From here on in though its strictly party business only (but with a little bit of Macmillan and helpline work thrown in)...

And on the subject of the party, the current tally is 41 acceptances and 20 if you don't stop bothering me I'm calling the police's... But there are still 32 people I have yet to hear from. Can you pull your fingers out please so that I can make appropriate arrangements?  Don't make me get in touch with you individually which I will start doing next week if I haven't heard anything.  Thank you.

That's all.  J x

The Day Got Better And Then Got Worse

So the planetarium was fun.  Except I was unlucky because there was a coach trip of old farts there, half of whom fell asleep during the show and the other half of whom thought they were at home watching television and therefore it was OK to talk to each other. If it hadn't been for them it would have just been me which would have been über cool. The planetarium is part of The Great Northern Museum which is as exciting as it name suggests.  But they did have a stuffed elephant (not as big as you might have imagined) and a T Rex skeleton which is a lot bigger than I had imagined.  If it bit you it would bite through two thirds of your body - even given how fat I am.

Then went to see the film Beyond the Candelabra.  A really good film with stellar performances from Michael Douglas and Matt Damon. Saw it in the Tyneside Cinema which is a bit like The Cornerhouse but way cooler. 

Had a martini in a bar with a forgettable name (and a forgettable martini) but which, on its cocktail list, had a punch for £1000!  Followed this with a forgettable Indian meal.  Beyond excited to see Mrs T tomorrow.  She has all sorts of exciting things planned I'm guessing.

Getting a little worried by the thought of "man deserts". Not really clear what these might be but apparently they are areas of high numbers of fat women (judging by the interviewees on Newsnight tonight). Mind you the black chap also being interviewed is talking out his arse. I now find myself agreeing with fat women in Salford. I'm calling it the "Newcastle effect"...

That's all. Will be blogging tomorrow from Mrs T's actual house.  Yes, her actual house.  Can you imagine? J x

Newcastle Shops Are Rubbish

There.  I've said it all.  Could stop the blog here except I want to tell you that I'm going to a planetarium this afternoon.  Never been to a planetarium before. V excited.  I'm going on the Metro.  J x

J'arrive

I'm in Newcastle and despite early indications the sun is now out and proud.  Have had my first North Eastern lasagne.  Not up to North Western standards.  Apartment is lovely - especially as I have been upgraded and have 2 bathrooms to choose from! Will have a rest now and venture out later... :-) J x

Mother Update

She's out of hospital and feeling fine.  They still don't know what caused the funny turn though.  Hey ho, as long as it doesn't happen again... Off to Newcastle tomorrow.  Will blog from there.  That's all.  J x

Saturday

So have already done all manner of things in the garden this morning and off to Bents this afternoon for some more plants.  The terrace should then be party ready and I can turn my attention to the flat (once I get back from Newcastle/Coldstream of course).

Mum had an OK night apparently but appears to have cocked up her phone so is unreachable by me until my father takes in his phone for her this afternoon.  He's talked to her though and she seems in good spirits.  It's unlikely she'll be out before Monday though as the specialist hasn't seen her scan. That won't please her.  

DD tonight for Mad Men and curry.  Nuff said.  J x

News

Mum had a bit of a turn last night and has been taken into hospital.  She is fine now though and talking and alert (I've spoken to her on the phone). They're going to do a brain scan to be sure.  It may be a reaction to her anti-sickness medication though. I'll keep you updated. But so much for the power of positive thinking...

In other news, my socks have been returned from London and are looking darn near perfect. J x

Party Stats

31 acceptances, 18 who are you? Stop bothering me or I'm calling the police... J x

I'm Such a Wuss

Watched We Bought a Zoo on telly tonight and cried. Three times.  It's a ridiculously sentimental film but then I'm a ridiculously sentimental guy sometimes.  And I'd rip the pants off Matt Damon... :-) J x

You've read about them on the blog...

.... now meet them in the flesh.  Both Debbie and (young) Sean, my principal carers from my first bout of cancer from Christie, are coming to the party. Although given that the original cancer was 10 years ago I'm not sure we should be referring to Sean as "young" any more... :-) Will be great to catch up with them.

Have spent today getting over my hangover (young Toby's do extended into the evening but was good to catch up with some of my old colleagues) and gardening.  Also had a really good chat with Linda from Macmillan about taking forward User Involvement. 

Marios coming round tomorrow to discuss bar matters so will be spending tomorrow morning tidying the living room and losing weight.

Mum having a bit of a tough old time at the moment on the chemotherapy so please all think nice thoughts for her and I'm sure that will help.  Just look what you all did for me... At least theres only one more to go and she should be slap bang in the middle of her good week for the party.  Not only is my mother coming and my Manchester Mum but my godmother will be here too! Three mothers in the same room.  There may be trouble (or at least lots of nagging) ahead.... :-) That's all.  J x

It's All Good

Unless you're talking about the Star Trek film of course.  Which is all bad.

And Game of Thrones.  I've read the books.  I knew what was going to happen.  And I'm still shocked and traumatised.  That's how good GoT is...

Had Oxygen Clinic this morning.  My Sats are 97% which is good and my something or other that was 8.3 six months ago is now 10.3 which is virtually normal.  So the Oxygen Clinic people are telling me I can fly wherever I want.  They're not offering to pay obviously... So thinking about Istanbul in October. They're also going to take my oxygen machine away which I think is a positive thing.

Had lunch with DD at the Whitworth Gallery. We both had the meze which was delicious. Particularly the Egyptian beans. We then worked off lunch rearranging the terrace ready for the furniture varnishing and plant buying tomorrow. Which is, of course, followed by young Tober Morey's leaving do in Warrington.  I wonder if there will be speeches?

Tonight I'm off to the pictures with Gill again (don't even get me started on what she's been up to recently) to see Oblivion which Sara assures me is a good film.  It certainly has to be better than Star Trek.

Party count is: 20 acceptances and 10 I'm sorry I'm washing my hair that night. So that's replies in from about a third of the people invited... You do the maths. Could be quite busy :-) Good job there are two barmen this time.  There will even be a cocktail created especially for the occasion.  I'm thinking of calling it a Midsummer Elixir but am open to other suggestions... J x

OMG

Game of Thrones.