Not me, and that's all I have to say on the subject.
Not feeling as good now as I did earlier. And I don't think it's anything to do with poor Lewis crashing out of the final F1 (at least Alonso didn't win). I just think one tends to feel worse as the day wears on. Also had a visit today from three lovely ladies which was just brilliant although I did get a bit worn out towards the end. I did at least get a run down of most of the incidents at Bryn's wake. And boy were there some incidents... which of course is just as it should be.
Haven't managed to eat any solid food today so I'm having to resort to the laxatives - quite disgusting taste in liquid form but needs must. On the plus side I haven't needed as many painkillers today as usual so that might help a bit too.
I've also discovered the date my Coronation Street episode airs - it's 14/01/13 so please make a note in your diaries and throw parties and the like. According to my chemo schedule it's slap bang in the middle of a bad week for me so I'm afraid I won't be hosting any premiere parties. So don't be upset that you haven't had an invitation.
And that's about all for today folks. May go to bed soon or may try and stay up for Homeland. We'll see. J x
Sunday, November 25, 2012
I Expected...
... to start this post by saying expect a lot more posting now that I have an iPad. I can't seem to put the thing down. It's fab! A very wise purchase I think. But I think it doesn't like my blog since it takes me 2 or 3 attempts to get it to allow me to post. No idea why that is. If it doesn't get any worse then I may live with it or I may just have to wait for a visit from my iPad expert to talk of many things. I'm sure he (or his very lovely wife who is also an iPad expert) will have a solution. Come on over guys - pyjamas optional.
Feeling a little better so far today than I did yesterday. Still very tired but not quite as "ill" at the moment. It's an odd feeling to describe but it's a cross between a stomach feeling a little queasy, an odd taste in my mouth and a general sort of malaise. Also a loss of appetite not helped by the odd taste in my mouth. Even my Ensure Plus didn't taste good yesterday. I did manage a tin of baked beans though, slathered in Lea & Perrins sauce to beat the odd taste in my mouth into submission! This may also help with my other problem - constipation: apologies if any readers get offended by my liberal use of medical terms but this blog has never been intended as a feel good site (at least not only a feel good site - obviously there are times when I do feel good!). Those of you who have been with me from the start - about 6 and a half years ago now - will know what I'm talking about: the infamous "Cancer is a Cunt" post title that caused a bit of a stir. Incidentally, it still is. But I don't intend using that word again liberally on these pages. But then again who knows how bad this is all going to get. Rest assured I'm not setting out to deliberately offend anyone but then neither am I catering to anyone's sensibilities apart from my own.
Anyway, as I said feeling a bit better today which I'm happy about. Got visits from Denise and Michele to look forward to and, if I'm up to it, maybe a cocktail in The Midland. We'll see. I'll let you all know how it's going later. Love J x
Feeling a little better so far today than I did yesterday. Still very tired but not quite as "ill" at the moment. It's an odd feeling to describe but it's a cross between a stomach feeling a little queasy, an odd taste in my mouth and a general sort of malaise. Also a loss of appetite not helped by the odd taste in my mouth. Even my Ensure Plus didn't taste good yesterday. I did manage a tin of baked beans though, slathered in Lea & Perrins sauce to beat the odd taste in my mouth into submission! This may also help with my other problem - constipation: apologies if any readers get offended by my liberal use of medical terms but this blog has never been intended as a feel good site (at least not only a feel good site - obviously there are times when I do feel good!). Those of you who have been with me from the start - about 6 and a half years ago now - will know what I'm talking about: the infamous "Cancer is a Cunt" post title that caused a bit of a stir. Incidentally, it still is. But I don't intend using that word again liberally on these pages. But then again who knows how bad this is all going to get. Rest assured I'm not setting out to deliberately offend anyone but then neither am I catering to anyone's sensibilities apart from my own.
Anyway, as I said feeling a bit better today which I'm happy about. Got visits from Denise and Michele to look forward to and, if I'm up to it, maybe a cocktail in The Midland. We'll see. I'll let you all know how it's going later. Love J x
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Chemo Plus Two
Welcome to Day Two everyone. Still feeling very tired. Slept well last night and then fell asleep again on the sofa this morning. Was awoken by the arrival of the delightful Ms Drury (not got a cold) with my Saturday paper. One of the reasons for me buying this iPad was the desire to subscribe to The Times online to make getting hold of the daily paper less of a chore for all involved but now having looked up the reviews in the ap store I'm not so sure it's a good idea. The reviews are dreadful. Perhaps I'll wait until they run an enhancement.
My stomach feels a little "odd" but not been sick yet and am still taking the anti sickness medicine. We'll see. And that's all my news so far folks. May post again later if I feel up to it. J x
My stomach feels a little "odd" but not been sick yet and am still taking the anti sickness medicine. We'll see. And that's all my news so far folks. May post again later if I feel up to it. J x
Friday, November 23, 2012
Today
So it was Bryn's funeral today so never going to be easy. Denise picked me up in our car at 1200 with Chris and Dave already ensconced in the back. It was the first time I'd seen them since my diagnosis but today wasn't the day to talk of this. We picked Jude up on the way and arrived at Michele's at 1230 for drinks prior to following the cortège to the crematorium. I, of course, can't drink for the three days covering my chemotherapy so I took over the driving at this point. (How the hell I'm supposed to keep up my weight with these sort of restrictions is anyone's guess).
Apropos of nothing, Come Dine With Me is on the telly and it's coming from Swansea so it's like a double dose of hell. I've pressed record because I know there's nothing DD or Michele enjoy more than a double dose of Come Dine With Me hell. One of the contestants has just said "If its good enough for Joan Collins, it's good enough for me". Nuff said.
There were hundreds of people at the crematorium, suitable testimony, were it needed, of how much Bryn was loved. The thing about Bryn is that if you met him once I don't think you'd like him. If you met him twice you'd see through the gruff exterior to the really genuine and lovely person he actually was. Five people spoke about Bryn. Jude was first and had written a poem. I'll confess here that when I heard that she was to read a poem of her own composition I didn't really know what to expect but she knocked my socks off. It was funny, meaningful, sincere, genuine and summed Bryn up perfectly. Good on you girl. Next was Dave, Bryn's business partner and he talked to us about Bryn's business life - most of which I didn't know. Then Gordon, a long time friend of Bryn and brother to Chris who was in the car on the journey, talked about some of Bryn's exploits - again, most of which I hadn't heard about. And then it was Denise's turn. Denise had talked through her speech with me a number of times beforehand as she wanted me to take over the delivery if she broke down on the day. She didn't. She was superb - composed, clear, funny and sincere. She delivered her "best man's speech" which worked really well because it allowed her to also talk about Michele as well which everyone there really appreciated I thought. Finally, the humanist minister read out some words that Michele had written which were moving beyond my power to express.
I didn't go to the wake because I was quite tired. Instead I came home and dozed on the sofa until about half an hour ago when I woke up and decided to play with my new iPad. Yay. J x
Apropos of nothing, Come Dine With Me is on the telly and it's coming from Swansea so it's like a double dose of hell. I've pressed record because I know there's nothing DD or Michele enjoy more than a double dose of Come Dine With Me hell. One of the contestants has just said "If its good enough for Joan Collins, it's good enough for me". Nuff said.
There were hundreds of people at the crematorium, suitable testimony, were it needed, of how much Bryn was loved. The thing about Bryn is that if you met him once I don't think you'd like him. If you met him twice you'd see through the gruff exterior to the really genuine and lovely person he actually was. Five people spoke about Bryn. Jude was first and had written a poem. I'll confess here that when I heard that she was to read a poem of her own composition I didn't really know what to expect but she knocked my socks off. It was funny, meaningful, sincere, genuine and summed Bryn up perfectly. Good on you girl. Next was Dave, Bryn's business partner and he talked to us about Bryn's business life - most of which I didn't know. Then Gordon, a long time friend of Bryn and brother to Chris who was in the car on the journey, talked about some of Bryn's exploits - again, most of which I hadn't heard about. And then it was Denise's turn. Denise had talked through her speech with me a number of times beforehand as she wanted me to take over the delivery if she broke down on the day. She didn't. She was superb - composed, clear, funny and sincere. She delivered her "best man's speech" which worked really well because it allowed her to also talk about Michele as well which everyone there really appreciated I thought. Finally, the humanist minister read out some words that Michele had written which were moving beyond my power to express.
I didn't go to the wake because I was quite tired. Instead I came home and dozed on the sofa until about half an hour ago when I woke up and decided to play with my new iPad. Yay. J x
Oh Brave New World....
...that has such wondrous devices in it.
With all the usual apologies to Will Shakespeare. Those of you who read previous post comments before reading new posts will realise this is my second attempt to publish through this new iPad. Luckily, the device now seems to recognise me having first posted a comment in the comments section. Onwards and upwards.
I'm liking the new iPad so far. It's fast, easy to hold and light enough to carry with you everywhere. Will now have to go and see those lovely people at Orange (or EE as they now seemed to be called) to see how much my non-wifi connection will cost. Hopefully it won't be more then my disability living allowance or we're all in trouble. This device seems to suffer from the perennial Apple problem of only recognising one press of a double press on a key (such as the double "l" in will). I may be able to do something about this in settings but I'll have to wait until my Apple expert chum Bill visits me to talk of many things to find this out.
I have other news but I'll publish it separately from this technical update.. That's all. J x
With all the usual apologies to Will Shakespeare. Those of you who read previous post comments before reading new posts will realise this is my second attempt to publish through this new iPad. Luckily, the device now seems to recognise me having first posted a comment in the comments section. Onwards and upwards.
I'm liking the new iPad so far. It's fast, easy to hold and light enough to carry with you everywhere. Will now have to go and see those lovely people at Orange (or EE as they now seemed to be called) to see how much my non-wifi connection will cost. Hopefully it won't be more then my disability living allowance or we're all in trouble. This device seems to suffer from the perennial Apple problem of only recognising one press of a double press on a key (such as the double "l" in will). I may be able to do something about this in settings but I'll have to wait until my Apple expert chum Bill visits me to talk of many things to find this out.
I have other news but I'll publish it separately from this technical update.. That's all. J x
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Such A Martyr...
... been a tough old (long) day but blogging anyway as I know a lot of you will want to know the details.
So, door to door, it took 11 hours today. I was actually in Wythenshawe hospital from 0845 until 1830. The reasons for this long session are (in no particular order) -
* It was my first visit so there was a lot of background stuff that needed to be covered first. The Chemo Sister, Lesley, who was looking after me though took her time, wouldn't be rushed and made sure I understood everything she was telling me. She also checked to make sure I am getting all the support I'm entitled to. She is a real star.
* I needed lots of tests done to get a benchmark on Wythenshawe's computers (most tests are currently held at MRI or The Christie - talk about a joined up health service!). So I had blood tests, an X-ray and an ECG as well as an MRSA swab. We then needed to wait for the blood test results to come back before we could launch. In future the District Nurse will do the blood tests the day before I attend Wythenshawe which will save time.
* The "gold standard" anti-sicknes drug they gave me can be done intravenously (remember me and pills?) but of course there was none on site and they needed to track down the drug rep to make sure it was OK to give this to me half way through my treatment (the instructions on the pills say they have to be given a half hour before treatment starts). It was and they did but it did delay things.
* One batch of my chemo (no idea how many I had, they hung loads of drips next to me - at least 12 probably) was late coming up from pharmacy so they slipped in an extra dose of fluids.
On the plus side I didn't need a central line (which Bill had to endure in his treatment) so that's a relief. Its a small, friendly unit with regular staff and customers. I'm not sure I'd have got that from The Christie.
On the down side, the lovely Debbie doesn't work at Wythenshawe and the X-ray department is miles from the chemotherapy unit. And my breathing today was atrocious. Not sure why. I was probably anxious ahead of the treatment starting (we had to get the X-ray first). It feels OK now. Next time I feel like that I'll get a porter and a wheel chair.
On the plus, plus side Denise was, as ever, a star. She hung around until all my tests had been done and everything had been explained before leaving (not that she wanted to go and she is threatening to stay all day next time but THERE IS NO NEED) and then picked me up when I had finished. Perfect.
And that's all I think. I feel tired at the moment but not sick or any of the other side effects. But its early days yet. I'm sure it won't be too long before I am once again regaling you with my tales of woe. :-) J x
So, door to door, it took 11 hours today. I was actually in Wythenshawe hospital from 0845 until 1830. The reasons for this long session are (in no particular order) -
* It was my first visit so there was a lot of background stuff that needed to be covered first. The Chemo Sister, Lesley, who was looking after me though took her time, wouldn't be rushed and made sure I understood everything she was telling me. She also checked to make sure I am getting all the support I'm entitled to. She is a real star.
* I needed lots of tests done to get a benchmark on Wythenshawe's computers (most tests are currently held at MRI or The Christie - talk about a joined up health service!). So I had blood tests, an X-ray and an ECG as well as an MRSA swab. We then needed to wait for the blood test results to come back before we could launch. In future the District Nurse will do the blood tests the day before I attend Wythenshawe which will save time.
* The "gold standard" anti-sicknes drug they gave me can be done intravenously (remember me and pills?) but of course there was none on site and they needed to track down the drug rep to make sure it was OK to give this to me half way through my treatment (the instructions on the pills say they have to be given a half hour before treatment starts). It was and they did but it did delay things.
* One batch of my chemo (no idea how many I had, they hung loads of drips next to me - at least 12 probably) was late coming up from pharmacy so they slipped in an extra dose of fluids.
On the plus side I didn't need a central line (which Bill had to endure in his treatment) so that's a relief. Its a small, friendly unit with regular staff and customers. I'm not sure I'd have got that from The Christie.
On the down side, the lovely Debbie doesn't work at Wythenshawe and the X-ray department is miles from the chemotherapy unit. And my breathing today was atrocious. Not sure why. I was probably anxious ahead of the treatment starting (we had to get the X-ray first). It feels OK now. Next time I feel like that I'll get a porter and a wheel chair.
On the plus, plus side Denise was, as ever, a star. She hung around until all my tests had been done and everything had been explained before leaving (not that she wanted to go and she is threatening to stay all day next time but THERE IS NO NEED) and then picked me up when I had finished. Perfect.
And that's all I think. I feel tired at the moment but not sick or any of the other side effects. But its early days yet. I'm sure it won't be too long before I am once again regaling you with my tales of woe. :-) J x
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Chemo Minus One
That's still happening tomorrow so not much more to say really. DD and Michele (?) are coming round tonight to watch the football and to help me take my mind off it. I'll report tomorrow or the day after on how it all went.
But, today's events need telling I guess...
So I turned up at the studios at 1100 as instructed wearing nary a logo (its a rule apparently) and a winter coat. I was met by Jude from the costume department (for those of you who don't know Jude, she is the one who - with Jenny - arranged this gig for me and also did the tour for us the other week - a lovely lady). Jude introduced me to my directors - "Woody" and "Richard III" (the second director apparently sits in an office somewhere). Jude put me in the hands of two of her colleagues who took me down to the set where I waited whilst the scene before mine was filmed. And then came my big moment. I was taken onto set by Richard and sat at a table in Roy's Rolls with another extra and given a cup of cold tea to drink. After a few minutes Richard moved me to a stool towards the entrance to the cafe so that I would get my face filmed (how kind was that?). Unfortunately the first stool I sat on I broke (oops) and so settled a little more gingerly on the second one and commenced to read my copy of the Weatherfield Gazette. We had three or four run throughs of the scene where all the actors (apart from Jenny!) forgot their lines and quite a few of them came out with most un-Coraonation-Street-like language. We then did three real takes which was so exciting. I can't believe how much I enjoyed the whole experience. Those of you who know me well know that I am normally quite unfazed by stardom but I confess I was a little starstruck by the whole thing. Jenny, of course, was an absolute dream and made me feel right at home. I don't think it would be fair to relate what was happening in the story as this would spoil things for some readers but the characters involved in my scene were Fizz, Hayley, Roy, Audrey & Norris. And its actually quite a funny scene.
For those of you who need all the details whilst I was not wearing any logos the suppliers of my costume for today's filming were Messrs Burberry, Hermes, Nicole Fahri, Thom Browne, Rolex and Topman. Bet they've never had that combination on Corrie before!
At the end of filming Woody said quite loudly "thanks for that Jonathan" and the entire cast and crew gave me a round of applause. I was so touched that Jude and Jenny had gone to so much trouble. Its really made my day and took my mind off tomorrow.
I've no idea yet when this will air but Jude is going to find out for me and one I know, you'll know. :-) That's all. Wish me luck for tomorrow. J x
But, today's events need telling I guess...
So I turned up at the studios at 1100 as instructed wearing nary a logo (its a rule apparently) and a winter coat. I was met by Jude from the costume department (for those of you who don't know Jude, she is the one who - with Jenny - arranged this gig for me and also did the tour for us the other week - a lovely lady). Jude introduced me to my directors - "Woody" and "Richard III" (the second director apparently sits in an office somewhere). Jude put me in the hands of two of her colleagues who took me down to the set where I waited whilst the scene before mine was filmed. And then came my big moment. I was taken onto set by Richard and sat at a table in Roy's Rolls with another extra and given a cup of cold tea to drink. After a few minutes Richard moved me to a stool towards the entrance to the cafe so that I would get my face filmed (how kind was that?). Unfortunately the first stool I sat on I broke (oops) and so settled a little more gingerly on the second one and commenced to read my copy of the Weatherfield Gazette. We had three or four run throughs of the scene where all the actors (apart from Jenny!) forgot their lines and quite a few of them came out with most un-Coraonation-Street-like language. We then did three real takes which was so exciting. I can't believe how much I enjoyed the whole experience. Those of you who know me well know that I am normally quite unfazed by stardom but I confess I was a little starstruck by the whole thing. Jenny, of course, was an absolute dream and made me feel right at home. I don't think it would be fair to relate what was happening in the story as this would spoil things for some readers but the characters involved in my scene were Fizz, Hayley, Roy, Audrey & Norris. And its actually quite a funny scene.
For those of you who need all the details whilst I was not wearing any logos the suppliers of my costume for today's filming were Messrs Burberry, Hermes, Nicole Fahri, Thom Browne, Rolex and Topman. Bet they've never had that combination on Corrie before!
At the end of filming Woody said quite loudly "thanks for that Jonathan" and the entire cast and crew gave me a round of applause. I was so touched that Jude and Jenny had gone to so much trouble. Its really made my day and took my mind off tomorrow.
I've no idea yet when this will air but Jude is going to find out for me and one I know, you'll know. :-) That's all. Wish me luck for tomorrow. J x
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Chemo MinusTwo
Two days to go before it all kicks off. Today was spent very pleasantly meeting Jane for coffee this morning and then going to see Skyfall with Gill this evening. Great to see Jane as not seen her for a while. She was rather shocked by how much weight I had lost and the fact that I had no colour in my face when I arrived at the coffee shop. She isn't the first to comment on this but it seems all the blood drains from my face when I walk into town. I still find it difficult - more difficult I think than it was a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully the chemo will help with this. Caught a taxi home.
Not seen Gill for absolutely ages as she has been ill of late (colds and possible chest infections) but is better now. Luckily she picked me up in the car to take me to the cinema and then dropped me back so I didn't need to walk anywhere :-). Skyfall is a good Bond film. All the requisite car chases and explosions and Daniel looks gorgeous. Nothing much to distinguish it from the other Bond films though although the suggestion that Bond has had homosexual experiences in his past was a surprise as, indeed, was the ending. And Javier Bardem is a superb Bond villain.
Big day tomorrow - take up duty as an extra on Coronation Street. Its only one scene though (and no lines) but I'll let you all know when its due to air so that you can tune in. Hopefully it will take my mind off Thursday. I'l post after that to let you know how it went.
That's all for now. Night. J x
Not seen Gill for absolutely ages as she has been ill of late (colds and possible chest infections) but is better now. Luckily she picked me up in the car to take me to the cinema and then dropped me back so I didn't need to walk anywhere :-). Skyfall is a good Bond film. All the requisite car chases and explosions and Daniel looks gorgeous. Nothing much to distinguish it from the other Bond films though although the suggestion that Bond has had homosexual experiences in his past was a surprise as, indeed, was the ending. And Javier Bardem is a superb Bond villain.
Big day tomorrow - take up duty as an extra on Coronation Street. Its only one scene though (and no lines) but I'll let you all know when its due to air so that you can tune in. Hopefully it will take my mind off Thursday. I'l post after that to let you know how it went.
That's all for now. Night. J x
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday Monday
Busy day already - phonecall from my boss followed by Denise dropping my paper off (bless her) and having a coffee then off to Sainsburys to stock up on water and beer. That was quite challenging and I had to sit down for a bit half way round. Then a visit from the ever adorable Maggie and the ever adorable Paul this afternoon for an hour. Paul, as ever, came bearing gifts - 2 portions of mushroom soup, one of which I shall be consuming this evening. Yum.
Quiet night from here on in. The Ageds have arrived in London to visit my Mum's sister and her husband for a couple of days. She has had a stroke you may recall and he has cancer but they are coping admirably with the situation.
Denise was round last night to catch up on some recorded TV programmes - The Hour, Gran Hotel (that's in the original Spanish) and Countryfile (we fast forwarded through the inevitable calendar selling bit - why do they do it every week?). And that's the last I shall see of Denise until Thursday. She's taking some time off to recover and well deserved it is too. I wish her joy of it.
No other news at the mo. Still feeling a little anxious but less so than I was which is a relief. Catch y'all later... J x
Quiet night from here on in. The Ageds have arrived in London to visit my Mum's sister and her husband for a couple of days. She has had a stroke you may recall and he has cancer but they are coping admirably with the situation.
Denise was round last night to catch up on some recorded TV programmes - The Hour, Gran Hotel (that's in the original Spanish) and Countryfile (we fast forwarded through the inevitable calendar selling bit - why do they do it every week?). And that's the last I shall see of Denise until Thursday. She's taking some time off to recover and well deserved it is too. I wish her joy of it.
No other news at the mo. Still feeling a little anxious but less so than I was which is a relief. Catch y'all later... J x
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Bit Anxious
Don't know why, but now I have a date for the chemotherapy to start I'm a bit more anxious. I'm not looking forward to any side effects. I remember that going through the radiotherapy last time was hell at times but at least that had the potential outcome of a cure. This time we could be talking about, at best, a couple of extra months. I probably won't think it worth those couple of extra months if the side effects are severe. But nothing ventured... lets see how it goes and I can always decide to stop half way through the treatment if I want to.
Went to The Moon Under Water yesterday (yes, I must be ill) for the Manchester trainees' promotion party. Dreadful venue and I was a bit overwhelmed by the number of people there and so didn't stay too long. Learned that my three all got promotion too so am dead chuffed about that: well done, Richard, Liam & Julie. Hopefully I will see Liam on Sunday and can congratulate him in person.
Out with Denise and Michele tonight for cocktails and a meal. Looking forward to that as we're going to Don Giovanni's and neither Michele nor I have been there before. Cocktails at The Midland are always good on a Saturday night too as there is normally a chivvy wedding or two to observe. :-)
Ma & Pa are fine and will be spending Christmas with me here in Manchester as the dates mean I will be in one of my "bad weeks". That should be an interesting experience as we've never spent Christmas away from Swansea before.
That's all I can think of for the moment. Will update more as it occurs to me... J x
Went to The Moon Under Water yesterday (yes, I must be ill) for the Manchester trainees' promotion party. Dreadful venue and I was a bit overwhelmed by the number of people there and so didn't stay too long. Learned that my three all got promotion too so am dead chuffed about that: well done, Richard, Liam & Julie. Hopefully I will see Liam on Sunday and can congratulate him in person.
Out with Denise and Michele tonight for cocktails and a meal. Looking forward to that as we're going to Don Giovanni's and neither Michele nor I have been there before. Cocktails at The Midland are always good on a Saturday night too as there is normally a chivvy wedding or two to observe. :-)
Ma & Pa are fine and will be spending Christmas with me here in Manchester as the dates mean I will be in one of my "bad weeks". That should be an interesting experience as we've never spent Christmas away from Swansea before.
That's all I can think of for the moment. Will update more as it occurs to me... J x
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Information
FYI -
Spent a very pleasant (!) 2 and a half hours at The Christie today. I learned that my chemotherapy starts on 22/11/12 at Wythenshawe hospital. Given this experience at The Christie I am pleased to be able to have the choice of opting for Wythenshawe for my treatment (although of course I am gutted that the very lovely Debbie won't be in charge of me - at least officially, I will of course continue to bow to everything she says generally speaking). It will not be possible for me to take part in the clinical trial I was offered (its a tablet only regime and I can't swallow tablets). So, having digested that information we can deduce the following -
1. The chemotherapy will end on either 07/02/13 or 21/03/13 depending on whether I have 4 or 6 cycles. This will depend in turn on how effective the treatment is and how it affects me.
2. I know the dates when I will be particularly vulnerable to infection (essentially days 8 - 14 of each cycle). If I refuse to meet up with people on certain dates it is likely that I will be on a day 8 to 14. Please don't be offended.
3. I know the dates when I am likely to be feeling at my best (comparatively). If you'd like to know when these are then work it out from Day One for each 3 week cycle - the best days are 15 to 21.
4. I am a bit scared by the whole thing. How many side effects am I likely to have? Will it all be a complete waste of time? Will there be much additional pain? Will I lose all my hair (to be fair this is finely balanced against the possibility of wearing a huge beehive wig - Mrs T will know what I'm talking about here)?
5. I will be able to attend Bryn's funeral (which takes place on 23/11/12). I'm really pleased I'll be able to do this.
6. I will be able to make my television debut (watch this space for further details in due course). Not sure how pleased I am about this though.
And that's your lot for this post. More updates soon... J x
Spent a very pleasant (!) 2 and a half hours at The Christie today. I learned that my chemotherapy starts on 22/11/12 at Wythenshawe hospital. Given this experience at The Christie I am pleased to be able to have the choice of opting for Wythenshawe for my treatment (although of course I am gutted that the very lovely Debbie won't be in charge of me - at least officially, I will of course continue to bow to everything she says generally speaking). It will not be possible for me to take part in the clinical trial I was offered (its a tablet only regime and I can't swallow tablets). So, having digested that information we can deduce the following -
1. The chemotherapy will end on either 07/02/13 or 21/03/13 depending on whether I have 4 or 6 cycles. This will depend in turn on how effective the treatment is and how it affects me.
2. I know the dates when I will be particularly vulnerable to infection (essentially days 8 - 14 of each cycle). If I refuse to meet up with people on certain dates it is likely that I will be on a day 8 to 14. Please don't be offended.
3. I know the dates when I am likely to be feeling at my best (comparatively). If you'd like to know when these are then work it out from Day One for each 3 week cycle - the best days are 15 to 21.
4. I am a bit scared by the whole thing. How many side effects am I likely to have? Will it all be a complete waste of time? Will there be much additional pain? Will I lose all my hair (to be fair this is finely balanced against the possibility of wearing a huge beehive wig - Mrs T will know what I'm talking about here)?
5. I will be able to attend Bryn's funeral (which takes place on 23/11/12). I'm really pleased I'll be able to do this.
6. I will be able to make my television debut (watch this space for further details in due course). Not sure how pleased I am about this though.
And that's your lot for this post. More updates soon... J x
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Drain Away
Had my drain out this afternoon. Took about half an hour at Wythenshawe hospital and was an extremely painful experience despite the fact that I was given a local anaesthetic. I could not believe how much tubing was actually in my lung. There must have been about 9 inches. Indeed the tubing inside me was longer than the tubing on the outside of my body. And because there was so little fluid in my lung space the tube had attached itself in a number of places and had to be pulled free. Not at all pleasant.
I now feel much better though. I've been told to take lots of painkillers (yay) and take it easy this evening (double yay) so that is what I'm doing. Thanks to Lesley for driving me there and back and looking after me. :-)
Experienced some hernia pain last night (which went away by about 0230) which is a little worrying but I still have my appointment with the hernia guy arranged for 30/11 so I may go along to that anyway and see what I can do about the pain short of an operation (which I can't have whilst undergoing chemotherapy).
Have an appointment at The Christie tomorrow (although I'm not terribly sure why - I'll let you know afterwards!). Looks like I will get my chemotherapy at Wythenshawe which I'm quite pleased about apart from the fact that I won't get to see the lovely Debbie on each visit. Met up with her briefly last week and it was fantastic to see her, gorgeous as ever, with a new hair colour. Wythenshawe has quite a small chemotherapy unit which should make it all a lot more personal and I still get to see Dr Summers. I'l let you have more details when I have them.
Off to watch the series finale of The Paradise now (trash television but its about shopping!) so that's all. J x
I now feel much better though. I've been told to take lots of painkillers (yay) and take it easy this evening (double yay) so that is what I'm doing. Thanks to Lesley for driving me there and back and looking after me. :-)
Experienced some hernia pain last night (which went away by about 0230) which is a little worrying but I still have my appointment with the hernia guy arranged for 30/11 so I may go along to that anyway and see what I can do about the pain short of an operation (which I can't have whilst undergoing chemotherapy).
Have an appointment at The Christie tomorrow (although I'm not terribly sure why - I'll let you know afterwards!). Looks like I will get my chemotherapy at Wythenshawe which I'm quite pleased about apart from the fact that I won't get to see the lovely Debbie on each visit. Met up with her briefly last week and it was fantastic to see her, gorgeous as ever, with a new hair colour. Wythenshawe has quite a small chemotherapy unit which should make it all a lot more personal and I still get to see Dr Summers. I'l let you have more details when I have them.
Off to watch the series finale of The Paradise now (trash television but its about shopping!) so that's all. J x
Monday, November 12, 2012
RIP Bryn
I am so sorry to have to be the bearer of this news but my friend Bryn died in the early hours of Saturday morning. He passed away peacefully in his sleep, pain free and with his partner and love of his life Michele at his side.
Bryn was one of the funniest, driest, most sarcastic, grumpiest, loyal, dedicated people I know. He was also one of the cleverest. If you ever entered a pub quiz then it was Bryn you wanted on your side as it almost certainly guaranteed a win. He loved his work and he loved his home life. He loved Michele and the girls and he loved his friends. He was a rock on which you could rely. I will miss him greatly.
Towards the end Bryn knew his time was severely limited and I last saw him late on Friday night and we therefore had a chance to say goodbye. I am so grateful for that. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done. What on earth do you say? Luckily Bryn made it easier by being honest and genuine and unafraid and unembarrassed to say what he wanted to say. He also made it clear that he was ready to go, didn't want to hang around just being ill but wanted to go peacefully and free from pain. Luckily that is what happened.
Obviously it has made me think about what I want to do when the end comes but now is not the time to go into that. Today is a time to celebrate Bryn and his life and how he impacted on me (and you). Please feel free to leave any thoughts and/or anecdotes you want to as a comment. I'll update with details of funeral arrangements when I have them and I'll update you on my latest news later. RIP Bryn. We love you. J x
Bryn was one of the funniest, driest, most sarcastic, grumpiest, loyal, dedicated people I know. He was also one of the cleverest. If you ever entered a pub quiz then it was Bryn you wanted on your side as it almost certainly guaranteed a win. He loved his work and he loved his home life. He loved Michele and the girls and he loved his friends. He was a rock on which you could rely. I will miss him greatly.
Towards the end Bryn knew his time was severely limited and I last saw him late on Friday night and we therefore had a chance to say goodbye. I am so grateful for that. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done. What on earth do you say? Luckily Bryn made it easier by being honest and genuine and unafraid and unembarrassed to say what he wanted to say. He also made it clear that he was ready to go, didn't want to hang around just being ill but wanted to go peacefully and free from pain. Luckily that is what happened.
Obviously it has made me think about what I want to do when the end comes but now is not the time to go into that. Today is a time to celebrate Bryn and his life and how he impacted on me (and you). Please feel free to leave any thoughts and/or anecdotes you want to as a comment. I'll update with details of funeral arrangements when I have them and I'll update you on my latest news later. RIP Bryn. We love you. J x
Thursday, November 08, 2012
Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day?
Big fan of Dr Summers. Like her a lot. She is very approachable, understandable (not too much jargon) and gives you the information you need to make decisions. She also spent about an hour with us yesterday talking through everything.
I'm not sure we learned anything particularly new yesterday but she was able to fill in a lot of the background detail that hadn't been filled in before and to answer our questions where we had them now but hadn't thought of them before.
For instance, I shouldn't drink alcohol on the day of treatment nor the day afterwards but otherwise could drink as normal. Yay. The treatment has "positive results" (which covers the range from the tumours actually shrinking to "no change" i.e. the tumours haven't actually grown) in about 50% of cases. The seems to me fairly good odds and enough to convince me that I should at least start the treatment. I can receive treatment either at The Christie or at Wythenshawe. Not made up my mind on this yet.
Starting the treatment means committing to at least the first three Cycles since no changes would be expected to be evident before this point anyway. Week One (of the three week Cycle) will have a full day in hospital (8 hours) followed by a one to two hour visit in Week Two. Week Three is free. Days 8 -14 are the days that my immune system will be at its weakest and so I may have to restrict access during this period.
There are lists and lists of side-effects but I don't think everyone gets them all and some people get none. From memory, last time I had cisplatin I was quite sick (so will get anti-sickness stuff up front) and had some abdominal pain (that sounds familiar). But I don't remember anything else. And this time I will be having two drugs - cisplatin and something else whose name I've forgotten so things might be different this time round.
I wil be having blood tests all the time and scans from time to time to monitor how the treatment is progressing. I'll let you know what that shows.
Apparently I am "young & fit" (no, I didn't know either) which means that I could expect to be at the top end of ranges (i.e. potentially more than 12 months prognosis) but since there's no way of telling how I will respond to treatment (if at all) no promises are made. She advised me to start thinking about how and where I want to spend the end of my life so that any arrangements can be made in good time and any necessary research (e.g. on hospices) can be carried out. I'm thinking though that I would like to be in a hospice as I get towards the end as they will have all the necessary drugs and facilities to make things as easy and painless as possible.
I will also need to get a flu jab (arranged for tomorrow) and have my pleural catheter removed (arranged for next Tuesday).
And that's all I've got for you for the moment. Looking forward to seeing the lovely Sarah from Leeds later on for a drink. Will report back on news from over t'Pennines tomorrow. J x
I'm not sure we learned anything particularly new yesterday but she was able to fill in a lot of the background detail that hadn't been filled in before and to answer our questions where we had them now but hadn't thought of them before.
For instance, I shouldn't drink alcohol on the day of treatment nor the day afterwards but otherwise could drink as normal. Yay. The treatment has "positive results" (which covers the range from the tumours actually shrinking to "no change" i.e. the tumours haven't actually grown) in about 50% of cases. The seems to me fairly good odds and enough to convince me that I should at least start the treatment. I can receive treatment either at The Christie or at Wythenshawe. Not made up my mind on this yet.
Starting the treatment means committing to at least the first three Cycles since no changes would be expected to be evident before this point anyway. Week One (of the three week Cycle) will have a full day in hospital (8 hours) followed by a one to two hour visit in Week Two. Week Three is free. Days 8 -14 are the days that my immune system will be at its weakest and so I may have to restrict access during this period.
There are lists and lists of side-effects but I don't think everyone gets them all and some people get none. From memory, last time I had cisplatin I was quite sick (so will get anti-sickness stuff up front) and had some abdominal pain (that sounds familiar). But I don't remember anything else. And this time I will be having two drugs - cisplatin and something else whose name I've forgotten so things might be different this time round.
I wil be having blood tests all the time and scans from time to time to monitor how the treatment is progressing. I'll let you know what that shows.
Apparently I am "young & fit" (no, I didn't know either) which means that I could expect to be at the top end of ranges (i.e. potentially more than 12 months prognosis) but since there's no way of telling how I will respond to treatment (if at all) no promises are made. She advised me to start thinking about how and where I want to spend the end of my life so that any arrangements can be made in good time and any necessary research (e.g. on hospices) can be carried out. I'm thinking though that I would like to be in a hospice as I get towards the end as they will have all the necessary drugs and facilities to make things as easy and painless as possible.
I will also need to get a flu jab (arranged for tomorrow) and have my pleural catheter removed (arranged for next Tuesday).
And that's all I've got for you for the moment. Looking forward to seeing the lovely Sarah from Leeds later on for a drink. Will report back on news from over t'Pennines tomorrow. J x
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
O Manchester...
.... you're bloody freezing. God its cold up North. Anyway, home safe. Not much more to report. Will update following oncologist visit tomorrow. J x
Monday, November 05, 2012
O Glorious Day
Absolutely beautiful day in South Wales today. Wall to wall sunshine. So of course it was straight in the car and off to the National Botanic Gardens. They were as fabulous as ever but now with the addition of an "installation" of tree roots from trees originally growing in Ghana - trees such as Mahogany for instance. They are absolutely enormous. And so beautiful too. They were brought to the UK by an artist making a point about tree clearances in Africa and have toured the country (including Trafalgar Square) before finding a final resting place at the Botanic Gardens. Lunch wasn't as good as normal though because the main restaurant is undergoing a refurbishment and so we had to eat in the smaller cafe. But otherwise another lovely outing. Then it was back to the homestead to watch Andy Murray (fair's fair I watched the Grand Prix yesterday) and Antiques Road Trip. Quiet night in now before trip home to Manchester tomorrow. And that's all to report really. Hope you are all well out there in blog land and I will blog either tomorrow or Wednesday (when I will have seen Dr Summers - and the lovely Debbie - and so will know something of my proposed treatment regime). I just hope someone turns these bloody fireworks off soon... J x
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Sick
So, am back in Wales and certainly arrived with a fanfare. After about 6 hours of being home I proceeded to embark on a 2 hour long vomit-a-thon. Not pleasant, let me tell you. Particularly since it also meant I couldn't take any painkillers. Finally got to bed about 0100 in the morning but then did at least pretty much sleep through until 0800. My throat was terribly raw feeling this morning though but luckily Ensure Plus seemed to coat it nicely and calm everything down.
No idea what caused the sickness but it was probably the long drive down to Wales. The real down side of course was that we had to abandon our trip to the National Botanic Garden of Wales scheduled for today. Hopefully we'll still be able to go tomorrow. On the plus side it afforded me the opportunity to watch the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix and what an exciting race it was. Luckily Alonso didn't win (don't like him) and Vettel managed to make up 21 places after starting from the pit lane. Not particularly a fan of Vettel either but realistically he is the only one who can stop Alonso winning the championship.
Nothing else to report really. Both Aged Ps are fine. So I'll report more tomorrow. J x
No idea what caused the sickness but it was probably the long drive down to Wales. The real down side of course was that we had to abandon our trip to the National Botanic Garden of Wales scheduled for today. Hopefully we'll still be able to go tomorrow. On the plus side it afforded me the opportunity to watch the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix and what an exciting race it was. Luckily Alonso didn't win (don't like him) and Vettel managed to make up 21 places after starting from the pit lane. Not particularly a fan of Vettel either but realistically he is the only one who can stop Alonso winning the championship.
Nothing else to report really. Both Aged Ps are fine. So I'll report more tomorrow. J x
Friday, November 02, 2012
Apologies...
... for no posting yesterday but I was ministering to the needs of Madame La T. Both before her arrival - washing floors, dusting, making beds etc - and once she was here - entertaining her, running round with plates of sweetmeats, laughing at her jokes etc. None of this is true of course, her jokes aren't that funny! And talking of jokes (and here's another first believe) -
Barman talking - "We had a guy in here last night that was completely bladdered. In the end he was causing so much trouble that I had to throw him out. He was that actor guy, the one who plays the baddie in the new Bond Film.
Customer - "Javier Bardem?"
Barman - "No, I'll let him in again as soon as he's sobered up"
Boom. Boom.
Who knows? Perhaps it will be religion next. God forbid.
So, it was lovely to see Mrs T again. I can report that she is as lovely as ever. We laughed, we cried, we drank coffee and booze and we ate Indian food. We watched both Golden Girls and a couple of episodes of Antique Roadtrip which is still on series record following my mother's visit. DD joined us for some food.
I'm afraid the news from Wythenshawe Hospital is a little worrying. Bryn seems to be getting worse and at one point the doctors were talking about transferring him to intensive care. I'm pleased to report that he rallied later and that this no longer on the cards. However, he is quite ill and that is worrying for all of us, particularly Bryn & Michele themselves. My thoughts and my heart go out to them both and I'm sure you will all send your love and best wishes too. I'll keep you updated on progress as I get the news.
For myself, I now have a date to see the Christie oncologist - next Wednesday - when she will discuss my chemotherapy treatment with me. I'll then make the decision as to whether I wish to go ahead with it or not. I've also managed to speak to the Wythenshawe lung cancer nurse specialists about removing my Pleural Catheter but unfortunately, the nurse who will be responsible for doing it isn't back at her desk (bed?) until Tuesday. That actually fits with my timetable because...
...I'll be going down to Wales tomorrow and coming back to Manchester on Tuesday ready for my Christie appointment on Wednesday. Its all go, I tell you.
Meeting the lovely Patricia for cocktails at 1600 today and then its DD and Lesley for food tonight which will be nice. And that's all I have to report at the moment. The next posting will probably be made from the land of the bi-lingual signs so see you on the other side of the Severn Bridge. J x
Barman talking - "We had a guy in here last night that was completely bladdered. In the end he was causing so much trouble that I had to throw him out. He was that actor guy, the one who plays the baddie in the new Bond Film.
Customer - "Javier Bardem?"
Barman - "No, I'll let him in again as soon as he's sobered up"
Boom. Boom.
Who knows? Perhaps it will be religion next. God forbid.
So, it was lovely to see Mrs T again. I can report that she is as lovely as ever. We laughed, we cried, we drank coffee and booze and we ate Indian food. We watched both Golden Girls and a couple of episodes of Antique Roadtrip which is still on series record following my mother's visit. DD joined us for some food.
I'm afraid the news from Wythenshawe Hospital is a little worrying. Bryn seems to be getting worse and at one point the doctors were talking about transferring him to intensive care. I'm pleased to report that he rallied later and that this no longer on the cards. However, he is quite ill and that is worrying for all of us, particularly Bryn & Michele themselves. My thoughts and my heart go out to them both and I'm sure you will all send your love and best wishes too. I'll keep you updated on progress as I get the news.
For myself, I now have a date to see the Christie oncologist - next Wednesday - when she will discuss my chemotherapy treatment with me. I'll then make the decision as to whether I wish to go ahead with it or not. I've also managed to speak to the Wythenshawe lung cancer nurse specialists about removing my Pleural Catheter but unfortunately, the nurse who will be responsible for doing it isn't back at her desk (bed?) until Tuesday. That actually fits with my timetable because...
...I'll be going down to Wales tomorrow and coming back to Manchester on Tuesday ready for my Christie appointment on Wednesday. Its all go, I tell you.
Meeting the lovely Patricia for cocktails at 1600 today and then its DD and Lesley for food tonight which will be nice. And that's all I have to report at the moment. The next posting will probably be made from the land of the bi-lingual signs so see you on the other side of the Severn Bridge. J x
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Ooooooh, Political
OK, this is a first. I am now using this blog to ask you a favour. There is a campaign to have Alan Turing on the next set of bank notes issued. I would like to see that and, if you would like to see that too, you can sign a petition to bring this about by logging onto this link:
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/31659?utm_source=LGF+weekly+bulletin&utm_campaign=845a714f24-Weekly_Bulletin_10_30_2012&utm_medium=email
It only takes a couple of minutes. We need 100,000 signatures to get the proposal considered by the Treasury and the current count stand at over 25,000. So every vote counts. Thanks. J x
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/31659?utm_source=LGF+weekly+bulletin&utm_campaign=845a714f24-Weekly_Bulletin_10_30_2012&utm_medium=email
It only takes a couple of minutes. We need 100,000 signatures to get the proposal considered by the Treasury and the current count stand at over 25,000. So every vote counts. Thanks. J x
One Step Forward...
... so had a rubbish night last night. No idea why because there was no one site of any pain but rather a number of random aches and pains that woke me up all through the night. Its not as though I did anything particularly different yesterday - ooh, apart from the hoovering. Could this be my body rejecting domestic duties? I do hope so! Nevertheless I need to press on with more cleaning today as the day of arrival of Madame La T draws ever nearer.
Denise called in last night after visiting Bryn in hospital. He's still in a very bad way on oxygen and intravenous drips but his mood seemed to have improved a little. But as I know only too well, mood swings are a common occurrence in hospital and a lot depends on whether you manage to get any sleep. He is being moved to a bed nearer the nurses' station so they can keep a better eye on him.
Off for coffee with the lovely Jane and the lovely chick with the choc at 1700, so something to look forward to after all that cleaning. :-) That's all for now. Maybe post again a little later. J x
Denise called in last night after visiting Bryn in hospital. He's still in a very bad way on oxygen and intravenous drips but his mood seemed to have improved a little. But as I know only too well, mood swings are a common occurrence in hospital and a lot depends on whether you manage to get any sleep. He is being moved to a bed nearer the nurses' station so they can keep a better eye on him.
Off for coffee with the lovely Jane and the lovely chick with the choc at 1700, so something to look forward to after all that cleaning. :-) That's all for now. Maybe post again a little later. J x
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
To Dust or Not To Dust...
... not really a question, more of an imperative. Madame La T arrives on Thursday and we know how demanding she can be with those white gloves of hers.
Slept really well last night (in bed again). Truth be told I was quite knackered from my little outing yesterday. My walk only lasted about half an hour yet was tiring. I am most definitely not suggesting that lunch with my management colleagues was what knackered me!
Am frustrated now by not knowing when my chemotherapy will start. And I feel guilty on the days when I feel OK that I'm not in work. But given the up and down nature of how I feel I don't think it would be practical to go back at the moment and I'm probably better waiting for the chemo to be done and dusted first anyway. Hopefully it won't be too long.
Given my weight loss I have had to purchase new jeans. Those lovely people at Burberry are sending me two pairs as I type. I'm tracking them online and they left London yesterday and travelled to Gateshead then to Preston and finally to Manchester overnight. Apparently they were dispatched for delivery at 0517 this morning but they're not here yet. Going out with DD later to Platt Fields (she insists on me getting some exercise) and I'd like to wear them then. So hurry up Burberry-people.
As news comes in today I'll keep you updated. That's all. J x
Slept really well last night (in bed again). Truth be told I was quite knackered from my little outing yesterday. My walk only lasted about half an hour yet was tiring. I am most definitely not suggesting that lunch with my management colleagues was what knackered me!
Am frustrated now by not knowing when my chemotherapy will start. And I feel guilty on the days when I feel OK that I'm not in work. But given the up and down nature of how I feel I don't think it would be practical to go back at the moment and I'm probably better waiting for the chemo to be done and dusted first anyway. Hopefully it won't be too long.
Given my weight loss I have had to purchase new jeans. Those lovely people at Burberry are sending me two pairs as I type. I'm tracking them online and they left London yesterday and travelled to Gateshead then to Preston and finally to Manchester overnight. Apparently they were dispatched for delivery at 0517 this morning but they're not here yet. Going out with DD later to Platt Fields (she insists on me getting some exercise) and I'd like to wear them then. So hurry up Burberry-people.
As news comes in today I'll keep you updated. That's all. J x
Monday, October 29, 2012
2 Quick Thank Yous
Had two cards today, both of which brought a smile to my face so thought I would share them -
The first from Kate says: When life gives you lemons... grab tequila and salt". If no one else appreciates this, Fig will. We spent many a happy night on tequila, lemons and salt. Not sure how my dry husk of a mouth would react to that these days but I'd love to give it a go. So when you're up or I'm down Fig, that's what we'll be doing. :-) Thank you Kate.
The second, from those adorable people, Maggie & Paul says: Everything happens for a reason... usually its because life sucks. Be strong". Fabulous. But possibly not true as things generally don't happen for a reason (discuss!). Thank you M&P.
Just back from lunch with Chris, Daniel, Lisa and Ronda. Very nice too and great to see them and catch up. Felt so good after that in fact that I went for a quick stroll around town. Decided against walking all the way in to the Arndale to buy my iPad which was probably the right decision but I need to do that soon. Hopefully before I go home to Wales. May go and buy it in John Lewis instead. Can always find out how to use to from a) online, b) people who already have one, c) trial and error. You get a longer guarantee from John Lewis too although given my circumstances this probably won't be a significant factor in my choice (some gallows humour there for those of you who, like myself, enjoy that sort of thing).
And now this has turned into a full blown posting. Oh well, what the hell. Not heard from any hospitals today. I'm guessing I'll get a letter from The Christie tomorrow or the day after for my initial appointment with Dr Yvonne Summers (does anyone else think she sounds like she should be in Holby City or one of those American hospital dramas?). I'll let you know what she's actually like once I've met her. Hopefully she's nice (and most people at The Christie are - just look at the lovely Debbie).
So that's all for today. Looking forward to seeing Lesley (and possibly DD) later and hopefully hearing some news from B&M. Ciao bambinos.... J x
The first from Kate says: When life gives you lemons... grab tequila and salt". If no one else appreciates this, Fig will. We spent many a happy night on tequila, lemons and salt. Not sure how my dry husk of a mouth would react to that these days but I'd love to give it a go. So when you're up or I'm down Fig, that's what we'll be doing. :-) Thank you Kate.
The second, from those adorable people, Maggie & Paul says: Everything happens for a reason... usually its because life sucks. Be strong". Fabulous. But possibly not true as things generally don't happen for a reason (discuss!). Thank you M&P.
Just back from lunch with Chris, Daniel, Lisa and Ronda. Very nice too and great to see them and catch up. Felt so good after that in fact that I went for a quick stroll around town. Decided against walking all the way in to the Arndale to buy my iPad which was probably the right decision but I need to do that soon. Hopefully before I go home to Wales. May go and buy it in John Lewis instead. Can always find out how to use to from a) online, b) people who already have one, c) trial and error. You get a longer guarantee from John Lewis too although given my circumstances this probably won't be a significant factor in my choice (some gallows humour there for those of you who, like myself, enjoy that sort of thing).
And now this has turned into a full blown posting. Oh well, what the hell. Not heard from any hospitals today. I'm guessing I'll get a letter from The Christie tomorrow or the day after for my initial appointment with Dr Yvonne Summers (does anyone else think she sounds like she should be in Holby City or one of those American hospital dramas?). I'll let you know what she's actually like once I've met her. Hopefully she's nice (and most people at The Christie are - just look at the lovely Debbie).
So that's all for today. Looking forward to seeing Lesley (and possibly DD) later and hopefully hearing some news from B&M. Ciao bambinos.... J x
Up and Down
So a bit of a mixed bag yesterday. Original plan had been to go to John Lewis for some new pillows (desperately needed) and then do my supermarket shopping in the Sainsburys next door. However, had a bit of a funny turn in JL and had to find the furniture department so that I could sit down for 5 minutes. It was an odd sensation, some pain but mostly just a feeling of being "unwell" without too many specifics attached to that. Managed to buy my pillows though and decided to give the supermarket a miss. But then I rallied in the car driving home and so went to Sainsburys in Salford instead. And the rest of the day was a bit like that too - unwell one minute and fine the next. All sorted by the evening though which allowed for a trouble free viewing of Countryfile and Downton. Can't believe Downton finishes next week. What is the cliff hanger likely to be? Bet it involves poor old Thomas...
Plans for today include lunch with the old management team from Warrington - which will be a great chance to catch up with those who have since moved on. And then the very fragrant Ms Conroy will be calling in on her way home from work. Looking forward to catching up with her too.
For those interested in my sleeping habits, I actually managed to sleep in my bed rather than on the sofa last night. This did not, as I had feared, reintroduce the awful abdominal pain so fingers crossed I can return to a more normal sleep pattern from now on. Still taking lots of drugs at the moment but at least now they seem to keep the pain at bay during the night.
My thoughts today will be with Bryn & Michele who are still awaiting answers in Wythenshawe hospital and with Gill who is still suffering from a dreadful cold/flu.
May update again later with any work gossip/scandal (should here be any of course). That's all for now. J x
Plans for today include lunch with the old management team from Warrington - which will be a great chance to catch up with those who have since moved on. And then the very fragrant Ms Conroy will be calling in on her way home from work. Looking forward to catching up with her too.
For those interested in my sleeping habits, I actually managed to sleep in my bed rather than on the sofa last night. This did not, as I had feared, reintroduce the awful abdominal pain so fingers crossed I can return to a more normal sleep pattern from now on. Still taking lots of drugs at the moment but at least now they seem to keep the pain at bay during the night.
My thoughts today will be with Bryn & Michele who are still awaiting answers in Wythenshawe hospital and with Gill who is still suffering from a dreadful cold/flu.
May update again later with any work gossip/scandal (should here be any of course). That's all for now. J x
Saturday, October 27, 2012
A Quiet Weekend
So not much happening really. Last night was lovely though as Michele is back from New York and we had dinner at Felicinis. Great to see her and great to hear the Tales of New York and also to receive my present: a book called Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf Goodman. And don't worry, its not a book about funerals but rather a book about that fabulous shop Bergdorf Goodman - my absolute favourite shop in NY (Karen will remember it as the shop I bought my Issye Miyake jacket in when we were in NY - the shop where the sales assistant, on being asked by us where was good to go on a Saturday night, replied that he "...never went out at weekends as the town was full of tourists at weekends". An absolutely fabulous put down on a par with "I'm sorry, we don't sell the Dolce & Gabbana diffusion line" - a put down line Fig will remember). Anyway, I'm half way through the book and love it. It also came in the most glorious, over-the-top BG packaging and with a glorious BG carrier bag. Thank you B&M.
No real news to report on Bryn. He's now spent several nights on various wards in Wythenshawe hospital and the doctors still don't know what's going on. Whilst this isn't a completely unheard of phenomenon it is really frustrating for those involved. Get well soon Bryn-lad.
Today had a visit from the loveliness that is Jim (have I told you that the Lesbian and Gay Foundation - where I do my helpline volunteering - sent me a gorgeous bunch of flowers?) and heard tales of all his busyness. He is the busiest man I know.
Then for a walk in Wythenshawe park with the lovely DD. Beautiful at this time of the year (the park that is, DD is beautiful all year round). And now a night in when I may well treat myself to the long-denied DVD that is Prometheus. Might be a bit scary though. We'll see.
Tomorrow am planning a trip to John Lewis and Sainsburys in Cheadle Hulme and that's it. Weekend done and dusted. And then a luncheon date on Monday with the "old" management team from Warrington office. Hurrah.
Am expecting to hear early next week when my treatment is likely to kick off so watch this space bunnies. And have a good weekend out there in bunny-world. That's all. J x
No real news to report on Bryn. He's now spent several nights on various wards in Wythenshawe hospital and the doctors still don't know what's going on. Whilst this isn't a completely unheard of phenomenon it is really frustrating for those involved. Get well soon Bryn-lad.
Today had a visit from the loveliness that is Jim (have I told you that the Lesbian and Gay Foundation - where I do my helpline volunteering - sent me a gorgeous bunch of flowers?) and heard tales of all his busyness. He is the busiest man I know.
Then for a walk in Wythenshawe park with the lovely DD. Beautiful at this time of the year (the park that is, DD is beautiful all year round). And now a night in when I may well treat myself to the long-denied DVD that is Prometheus. Might be a bit scary though. We'll see.
Tomorrow am planning a trip to John Lewis and Sainsburys in Cheadle Hulme and that's it. Weekend done and dusted. And then a luncheon date on Monday with the "old" management team from Warrington office. Hurrah.
Am expecting to hear early next week when my treatment is likely to kick off so watch this space bunnies. And have a good weekend out there in bunny-world. That's all. J x
Friday, October 26, 2012
Onc Onc
Why have one oncologist when you can have two?
Saw Dr Burt from The Christie this morning. Turns out that he's not the one who will be overseeing my chemotherapy. That's Dr Summers also from The Christie. If I need any radiotherapy after the chemotherapy then it will be back to Dr Burt. But since he's the person who attends the MRI multi-disciplinary team meeting I needed to see him first. We talked at length about how this developed and where we go next (a lot of which has previously been discussed with Dr Bailey and which I'm sure must be in my notes - how many times do I need to tell people I've never worked with asbestos? Do I look like a fucking builder?).
Some stuff was quite interesting though. He was at pains to emphasise that the 12-18 months is an average and that some people do worse and some people do better. Of course he's no clue how I'll do until he sees how I react to the treatment. In any case I have decided to at least start the treatment and see how it goes. Apparently I'm likely to be on carboplatin rather than cisplatin. The former has less side effects than the latter which is good news.
There will be 6 cycles maximum with each cycle taking three weeks. That of course runs right through Christmas. Oh joy.
For those of you on the edge of your seats my trip yesterday evening was a tour of the Coronation Street set. We know a person who works in the wardrobe department and she showed us around everywhere - including watching some filming in the Rovers Return. V exciting. Have even been told there may be the possibility of me appearing as an extra at some point in the future. V v exciting. Watch this space. Interestingly they are currently filming the Christmas story lines so all the sets have the decorations up at the moment.
Tonight I'm seeing Michele later to catch up with all the New York tales and the tales of Bryn from Wythenshawe hospital. Exchanged texts with him this morning and can report he's not a happy bunny as a patient. I so sympathise with him. :-(
And that's all for now people. More updates tomorrow hopefully (sorry you didn't get anything yesterday).
Saw Dr Burt from The Christie this morning. Turns out that he's not the one who will be overseeing my chemotherapy. That's Dr Summers also from The Christie. If I need any radiotherapy after the chemotherapy then it will be back to Dr Burt. But since he's the person who attends the MRI multi-disciplinary team meeting I needed to see him first. We talked at length about how this developed and where we go next (a lot of which has previously been discussed with Dr Bailey and which I'm sure must be in my notes - how many times do I need to tell people I've never worked with asbestos? Do I look like a fucking builder?).
Some stuff was quite interesting though. He was at pains to emphasise that the 12-18 months is an average and that some people do worse and some people do better. Of course he's no clue how I'll do until he sees how I react to the treatment. In any case I have decided to at least start the treatment and see how it goes. Apparently I'm likely to be on carboplatin rather than cisplatin. The former has less side effects than the latter which is good news.
There will be 6 cycles maximum with each cycle taking three weeks. That of course runs right through Christmas. Oh joy.
For those of you on the edge of your seats my trip yesterday evening was a tour of the Coronation Street set. We know a person who works in the wardrobe department and she showed us around everywhere - including watching some filming in the Rovers Return. V exciting. Have even been told there may be the possibility of me appearing as an extra at some point in the future. V v exciting. Watch this space. Interestingly they are currently filming the Christmas story lines so all the sets have the decorations up at the moment.
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Tonight I'm seeing Michele later to catch up with all the New York tales and the tales of Bryn from Wythenshawe hospital. Exchanged texts with him this morning and can report he's not a happy bunny as a patient. I so sympathise with him. :-(
And that's all for now people. More updates tomorrow hopefully (sorry you didn't get anything yesterday).
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
The Day After The Bad News
Bizarrely had one of my best night's sleeps for about two months last night. I put this down to the fact that I prefer certainty to uncertainty (me embrace change? what ever gave you that idea?) even where that certainty isn't the best outcome possible. Knowing what I know now effectively allows me to start planning the rest of my life whereas before yesterday I couldn't do that. To be fair I won't know every last detail of what lies ahead until after I've spoken to the oncologist on Friday (and probably not even then) but it will be enough for me to make plans. Not sure what those will be yet but should they turn out to be "sit on my sofa and not communicate with anyone in the outside world" then that is what I will do. Sorry if this upsets you. Rest assured I will not do anything to deliberately upset anyone but neither will I live the life someone else believes I should live or would want me to live. This may also include refusing treatment to give me a few extra months. The quality of my life it what matters to me most now rather than the quantity.
Having said all the above (which really is the worst case scenario) my priorities for my remaining months are likely to include (in no particular order) -
* Friends
* Family
* Cinema
* Shopping
* Trees
* Design
* Vodka martinis
* Sorting out my will and funeral details
* The theatre
* All 3 Hobbit films (I do hope I have enough time for all 3)
* My sofa, telly, favourite box sets, PS3
* Art
* This blog and you, dear readers
* Cities
New ones may well occur to me. I'll keep you posted.
It was suggested to me this week by a very dear friend that I should consider publishing this blog. A notion I'm not attracted to a) because I don't think its interesting enough for people who don't know me b) I wouldn't want to make money out of it anyway and c) knowing it was going to be published would change the way I wrote it (which may or may not be a bad thing!). Anyway, I won't be looking into that but would rather leave the blog online and as a memorial to my life and friends. I'm not sure how long Blogger.com keep these things online. Presumably if there's been a long period of inactivity they remove the blog? I should maybe look into that and task someone with logging on once a year so it remains in place? I'll have a think about that. Or maybe I would need to set up my own web address to keep it going? If anyone knows the answer to these questions then please let me know.
Today was a good day though. Went to the Trough of Bowland with DD to look at the trees which are magnificent at this time of year. We had lunch at an Inn whose name I've forgotten but which has a set of stepping stones at the back across a wide (but shallow) river. And yes, of course I walked across them and back again because I'm a boy. DD didn't because she isn't (and was in heels). Lunch was lovely and then it was back into Manchester to meet a team member, his wife and child - the very adorable William who is 18 months old and just a delight. Eventually got home at 1800, exhausted. Have taken things easy this evening.
Heard from Michele this evening. They're back from New York but Bryn hasn't been well and has, in fact, been taken into Wythenshawe hospital because he was having breathing difficulties. I'm fairly sure this is down to the excitement and pace of life in NY and the pressurised cabin plus jet lag on the way home and that he'll make a rapid recovery. Fingers crossed for him everyone please. But at least if I'm going to visit I know my way there...!
And that's all I've got for you at the moment bunnies. Quiet day tomorrow followed by a secret trip out tomorrow evening which I can't tell you about until I've been. Watch this space... :-) J x
Having said all the above (which really is the worst case scenario) my priorities for my remaining months are likely to include (in no particular order) -
* Friends
* Family
* Cinema
* Shopping
* Trees
* Design
* Vodka martinis
* Sorting out my will and funeral details
* The theatre
* All 3 Hobbit films (I do hope I have enough time for all 3)
* My sofa, telly, favourite box sets, PS3
* Art
* This blog and you, dear readers
* Cities
New ones may well occur to me. I'll keep you posted.
It was suggested to me this week by a very dear friend that I should consider publishing this blog. A notion I'm not attracted to a) because I don't think its interesting enough for people who don't know me b) I wouldn't want to make money out of it anyway and c) knowing it was going to be published would change the way I wrote it (which may or may not be a bad thing!). Anyway, I won't be looking into that but would rather leave the blog online and as a memorial to my life and friends. I'm not sure how long Blogger.com keep these things online. Presumably if there's been a long period of inactivity they remove the blog? I should maybe look into that and task someone with logging on once a year so it remains in place? I'll have a think about that. Or maybe I would need to set up my own web address to keep it going? If anyone knows the answer to these questions then please let me know.
Today was a good day though. Went to the Trough of Bowland with DD to look at the trees which are magnificent at this time of year. We had lunch at an Inn whose name I've forgotten but which has a set of stepping stones at the back across a wide (but shallow) river. And yes, of course I walked across them and back again because I'm a boy. DD didn't because she isn't (and was in heels). Lunch was lovely and then it was back into Manchester to meet a team member, his wife and child - the very adorable William who is 18 months old and just a delight. Eventually got home at 1800, exhausted. Have taken things easy this evening.
Heard from Michele this evening. They're back from New York but Bryn hasn't been well and has, in fact, been taken into Wythenshawe hospital because he was having breathing difficulties. I'm fairly sure this is down to the excitement and pace of life in NY and the pressurised cabin plus jet lag on the way home and that he'll make a rapid recovery. Fingers crossed for him everyone please. But at least if I'm going to visit I know my way there...!
And that's all I've got for you at the moment bunnies. Quiet day tomorrow followed by a secret trip out tomorrow evening which I can't tell you about until I've been. Watch this space... :-) J x
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sorry, But Its Bad News
Saw Dr Bailey this afternoon to get the results of the PET scan. Unfortunately this shows that the cancer has spread outside my right lung. The "hotspots" that show up are -
* One of the glands just outside my right lung
* The lining of the pleura (this, you may recall is where we got all the "negative" biopsy results - but that may be down to sampling error on account of all the fluid that was present).
* My left lung
* My hip bones
A rather bizarre list of places (particularly the hip) but there you go. This means that surgery and cure are no longer on the table. We revert instead to the original prognosis of 12-18 months. Upsetting in its own way but I at least have some certainty now and can plan what time I have left accordingly. I know it sounds odd but I prefer this to the uncertainty I had before with things dragging on from week to week. To be honest it had all started to get me down a bit.
I will now see the oncologist, Dr Burt, on Friday to discuss palliative treatment options. This, realistically, is likely to just be chemotherapy. Before deciding whether to go ahead with this I will want to find out how much extra time its likely to buy me, what the side effects are likely to be in terms of pain, debilitation, my hair (I don't have a lot but I like what I've got!) etc. I can then make decisions. I can also, if I wish, start treatment, see how it goes and then give it up if I want to. But that's likely to prove problematic for the people around me so it may be better to just decide one way or the other from the outset.
My main goal in all this will be quality of life rather than quantity. I'm not going to cling onto life by my fingernails in the hope of that miracle sure just around the corner. I hope everyone will be able to respect my wishes and support me in my choices even if its not what they would do given the same circumstances.
I know this news will be upsetting for a lot of you. Bizarrely, probably more upsetting than it is for me. It may be that it will take time to sink in and I will feel more upset than I do right now. Maybe I'm in shock but it doesn't feel like that to me. I now know what I know and for me that is better than not knowing. So if I have 12 months left then I will try and spend that 12 months doing the things I want to do (which is unlikely to include travelling the world) in my own quiet way and just enjoying myself with the ones I love.
I don't want to get overly dramatic here but its difficult when one is discussing life and death stuff not to sound melodramatic. I want to thank you all for the help and support I've had over the years because you've made a huge difference to my life and I hope you can make as much of a difference to my death too by continuing to help and support me. I feel fairly confident that you will but I just wanted to make sure you all realised how thankful I am to have such a great bunch of friends looking out for me. A poor Welsh gay boy couldn't ask for any more. Thanks.
I will, of course, be updating this daily and particularly on Friday once I know what my options are. That's all bunnies. J x
Oh, except P.S. What the fuck is it with Brighton? I've been trying to text Fig & Karen with the above news before publishing it here but the messages won't get through. Every other bugger around the country received their's OK but not you two. So sorry if this is the first you're hearing about this.
* One of the glands just outside my right lung
* The lining of the pleura (this, you may recall is where we got all the "negative" biopsy results - but that may be down to sampling error on account of all the fluid that was present).
* My left lung
* My hip bones
A rather bizarre list of places (particularly the hip) but there you go. This means that surgery and cure are no longer on the table. We revert instead to the original prognosis of 12-18 months. Upsetting in its own way but I at least have some certainty now and can plan what time I have left accordingly. I know it sounds odd but I prefer this to the uncertainty I had before with things dragging on from week to week. To be honest it had all started to get me down a bit.
I will now see the oncologist, Dr Burt, on Friday to discuss palliative treatment options. This, realistically, is likely to just be chemotherapy. Before deciding whether to go ahead with this I will want to find out how much extra time its likely to buy me, what the side effects are likely to be in terms of pain, debilitation, my hair (I don't have a lot but I like what I've got!) etc. I can then make decisions. I can also, if I wish, start treatment, see how it goes and then give it up if I want to. But that's likely to prove problematic for the people around me so it may be better to just decide one way or the other from the outset.
My main goal in all this will be quality of life rather than quantity. I'm not going to cling onto life by my fingernails in the hope of that miracle sure just around the corner. I hope everyone will be able to respect my wishes and support me in my choices even if its not what they would do given the same circumstances.
I know this news will be upsetting for a lot of you. Bizarrely, probably more upsetting than it is for me. It may be that it will take time to sink in and I will feel more upset than I do right now. Maybe I'm in shock but it doesn't feel like that to me. I now know what I know and for me that is better than not knowing. So if I have 12 months left then I will try and spend that 12 months doing the things I want to do (which is unlikely to include travelling the world) in my own quiet way and just enjoying myself with the ones I love.
I don't want to get overly dramatic here but its difficult when one is discussing life and death stuff not to sound melodramatic. I want to thank you all for the help and support I've had over the years because you've made a huge difference to my life and I hope you can make as much of a difference to my death too by continuing to help and support me. I feel fairly confident that you will but I just wanted to make sure you all realised how thankful I am to have such a great bunch of friends looking out for me. A poor Welsh gay boy couldn't ask for any more. Thanks.
I will, of course, be updating this daily and particularly on Friday once I know what my options are. That's all bunnies. J x
Oh, except P.S. What the fuck is it with Brighton? I've been trying to text Fig & Karen with the above news before publishing it here but the messages won't get through. Every other bugger around the country received their's OK but not you two. So sorry if this is the first you're hearing about this.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Not Much To Report
Been a quiet day. Luckily largely pain-free (as was last night). Had a few hours sleep and dozed on and off in between. Fingers crossed for tonight and then results of the PET scan tomorrow. Will text and blog as soon as I can once I have any results.
Met up with Anne and Denise for a vodka martini tonight. Once again had to teach the barman how to make them. We had a long (long) discussion about religion. It seems to be the only thing people want to talk to me about these days. But lovely to see Anne again.
Not sure what's going on with Panorama tonight. Originally in the schedules for 2030 it didn't appear at that time and on the news they've just referred to it as being aired "shortly". Bet there's lawyers involved in all this somewhere... Oooh, just said its on at 1035. Same time as Newsnight. Interesting scheduling. Required viewing I think but will end up flicking back and forth between the two... That's all for now bunnies. Be in touch tomorrow. J x
Met up with Anne and Denise for a vodka martini tonight. Once again had to teach the barman how to make them. We had a long (long) discussion about religion. It seems to be the only thing people want to talk to me about these days. But lovely to see Anne again.
Not sure what's going on with Panorama tonight. Originally in the schedules for 2030 it didn't appear at that time and on the news they've just referred to it as being aired "shortly". Bet there's lawyers involved in all this somewhere... Oooh, just said its on at 1035. Same time as Newsnight. Interesting scheduling. Required viewing I think but will end up flicking back and forth between the two... That's all for now bunnies. Be in touch tomorrow. J x
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Sleep(ish)
Despite being completely exhausted I only managed 2 hours or so sleep last night. But on the plus side I wasn't in any pain particularly and did doze on and off throughout the rest of the night. I also managed to fall asleep when I was supposed to be meeting Denise in the morning and so was late for that!
Did eventually meet up with DD though and we went for a walk in Whitworth park (some really lovely, mature - over 100 years old - trees but the park itself isn't really big enough). We then had coffee in the art gallery and then off to Sainsburys for a big shop. Was able to park in the disabled parking spaces as my blue badge has now arrived but I can't tell you how guilty it made me feel. When walking to and from the car I almost felt like I should be limping or something just so people could see I was ill!
Then Maggie and Paul have been around this afternoon. I love them. They are such generous and genuine people. And they make me food. To be fair to Maggie, she is quite upfront about why they are so nice to me - she wants me to leave her my coffee table in her will... But I now have some spicy parsnip soup and some broccoli and stilton soup in my freezer. Yum.
I also need to mention the very lovely chick with the choc as she has done it again and made me another chocolate torte. I shall approach this one with more caution (maybe wear a helmet or something?) and hopefully not make myself ill! I will freeze some of it so that I can spread out my culinary pleasure. Ev has also retaliated against Denise's plan to make me a buddhist by buying me a rosary (which I'm wearing as I type). Never mind the Middle East, religious warfare has broken out in City South... :-) Should anyone wish to buy me a copy of the Koran or theTorah, then go ahead. Lets really mix this up...
And that's all for now. Except to say that Denise and I watched War Horse on Sky Premiere last night. It has to be the biggest load of tosh I have ever seen. Badly written, badly filmed, badly acted and it went on for ever. Mr Spielberg should be ashamed of himself. J x
Did eventually meet up with DD though and we went for a walk in Whitworth park (some really lovely, mature - over 100 years old - trees but the park itself isn't really big enough). We then had coffee in the art gallery and then off to Sainsburys for a big shop. Was able to park in the disabled parking spaces as my blue badge has now arrived but I can't tell you how guilty it made me feel. When walking to and from the car I almost felt like I should be limping or something just so people could see I was ill!
Then Maggie and Paul have been around this afternoon. I love them. They are such generous and genuine people. And they make me food. To be fair to Maggie, she is quite upfront about why they are so nice to me - she wants me to leave her my coffee table in her will... But I now have some spicy parsnip soup and some broccoli and stilton soup in my freezer. Yum.
I also need to mention the very lovely chick with the choc as she has done it again and made me another chocolate torte. I shall approach this one with more caution (maybe wear a helmet or something?) and hopefully not make myself ill! I will freeze some of it so that I can spread out my culinary pleasure. Ev has also retaliated against Denise's plan to make me a buddhist by buying me a rosary (which I'm wearing as I type). Never mind the Middle East, religious warfare has broken out in City South... :-) Should anyone wish to buy me a copy of the Koran or theTorah, then go ahead. Lets really mix this up...
And that's all for now. Except to say that Denise and I watched War Horse on Sky Premiere last night. It has to be the biggest load of tosh I have ever seen. Badly written, badly filmed, badly acted and it went on for ever. Mr Spielberg should be ashamed of himself. J x
Saturday, October 20, 2012
No Fun
So the scan was a bit of an ordeal. Not because of anything intrinsic to the process - they inject radioactive glucose into your bloodstream and, because you haven't eaten for 6 hours, the body gobbles this up. Malignant cancer cells are greedier than others and so the scan highlights the radioactive hot spots on your body denoting the spread of the cancer. Such a simple and elegant approach I think. But the scan requires one to lie flat on ones back for 20 minutes - and that's when my hernia pain really kicks in. Originally they had me lying on a bare board but it was unbearable so they had to change this for a softer surface but even so I only just made it. The fact that the radiographer was counting down the minutes for me was really all that allowed me to endure the pain for the duration. I cried when it had finished.
The crying was also the result of an almost wholly sleepless night last night too. I feel a bit better now and, hopefully, tired enough to sleep tonight no matter what. I'll let you know.
On the plus side my disabled blue badge has arrived and so parking at the hospital was a doddle (and free). And DD is coming round tonight to watch War Horse. I don't expect to like it having seen the stage version (quite cleverly done but with a rather thin storyline I seem to recall me thinking at the time). But who knows, in my tired and emotional state I may end up crying like a girl... Hey ho. I'm not too proud to admit I have an emotional side. And that's all for now my lovers. See you here tomorrow when I will hopefully be reporting hours and hours of restful, pain-free sleep. J x
The crying was also the result of an almost wholly sleepless night last night too. I feel a bit better now and, hopefully, tired enough to sleep tonight no matter what. I'll let you know.
On the plus side my disabled blue badge has arrived and so parking at the hospital was a doddle (and free). And DD is coming round tonight to watch War Horse. I don't expect to like it having seen the stage version (quite cleverly done but with a rather thin storyline I seem to recall me thinking at the time). But who knows, in my tired and emotional state I may end up crying like a girl... Hey ho. I'm not too proud to admit I have an emotional side. And that's all for now my lovers. See you here tomorrow when I will hopefully be reporting hours and hours of restful, pain-free sleep. J x
Friday, October 19, 2012
Some News At Last...
... but not the whole story yet.
So the biopsy results are in and they show that the "6cm mass" in my right lung is cancerous. Further it shows that the cancer is "non-small cell carcinoma" but doesn't show which of the two non-small cell carcinomas it is. Further, more complicated tests are needed for this and these are being done as we speak. The good news, such as it is, is that non-small cell isn't as aggressive as small cel cancer.
We also don't know yet whether or how far the cancer has spread. We believe that it might not have spread to the pleura (all those biopsies were negative if you recall) but even that isn't guaranteed at the moment. The hope is that the PET scan (you'll have to look it up on Wikipedia - all I know is that I need to report to the Department of Nuclear Medicine to get it done) will show this definitively. That takes place tomorrow afternoon. Apparently they carry them out on Saturdays so that if there is a nuclear explosion, less doctors are injured/killed. I may have made that last bit up. I'm such a drama queen!
Will see Dr Bailey on Tuesday for the results of the PET scan. At that point we can talk about treatments and prognosis. The original prognosis of "months rather than years" was made on the basis that they believed the cancer had already spread to the pleura. that may still be the case but we don't know for sure at the moment...
And that's all I know bunnies. As I say, not the whole story but a bit further down the road so let's wait and see what Tuesday brings.
Other than that, managed 4 hours sleep last night which was fantastic. Feel brilliant today. That was after 2 vodka martinis though so am now having a vodka to see if I can repeat the experience tonight! Also went for a walk in Hulme Park with DD this morning (Hulme isn't far from where I live) which was actually rather pleasant. The weather was nice, we didn't get mugged or raped and we had coffee in the Zion Arts Centre. And tonight is Gardener's World. The world is looking like quite a good place from where I'm sat at the moment. Hope your views are as good. That's all. J x
So the biopsy results are in and they show that the "6cm mass" in my right lung is cancerous. Further it shows that the cancer is "non-small cell carcinoma" but doesn't show which of the two non-small cell carcinomas it is. Further, more complicated tests are needed for this and these are being done as we speak. The good news, such as it is, is that non-small cell isn't as aggressive as small cel cancer.
We also don't know yet whether or how far the cancer has spread. We believe that it might not have spread to the pleura (all those biopsies were negative if you recall) but even that isn't guaranteed at the moment. The hope is that the PET scan (you'll have to look it up on Wikipedia - all I know is that I need to report to the Department of Nuclear Medicine to get it done) will show this definitively. That takes place tomorrow afternoon. Apparently they carry them out on Saturdays so that if there is a nuclear explosion, less doctors are injured/killed. I may have made that last bit up. I'm such a drama queen!
Will see Dr Bailey on Tuesday for the results of the PET scan. At that point we can talk about treatments and prognosis. The original prognosis of "months rather than years" was made on the basis that they believed the cancer had already spread to the pleura. that may still be the case but we don't know for sure at the moment...
And that's all I know bunnies. As I say, not the whole story but a bit further down the road so let's wait and see what Tuesday brings.
Other than that, managed 4 hours sleep last night which was fantastic. Feel brilliant today. That was after 2 vodka martinis though so am now having a vodka to see if I can repeat the experience tonight! Also went for a walk in Hulme Park with DD this morning (Hulme isn't far from where I live) which was actually rather pleasant. The weather was nice, we didn't get mugged or raped and we had coffee in the Zion Arts Centre. And tonight is Gardener's World. The world is looking like quite a good place from where I'm sat at the moment. Hope your views are as good. That's all. J x
Update
4 hours sleep last night bunnies. Hurrah. I am thinking of asking Dr Bailey to prescribe me 2 vodka martinis to be taken before bedtime since alcohol clearly helps. :-) J x
Thursday, October 18, 2012
A Little Better
Last night started out as usual with all the normal pain problems but then, miracle of miracles, it stopped about 0230 and I managed to sleep until 0545. A whole 2 and a quarter hours of uninterrupted sleep. That's the most I've had for about a week. Have tried a bit of dozing subsequently but the phone has been quite busy plus I've walked up to the newsagents to get the paper, done some washing, ironing etc. Still feel a bit tired but the trip out for a couple of martinis with work colleagues should be just about doable for me.
I used the V shaped pillow but I'm not sure how much it contributed to my restful 2 hours. Because of my back I had to stuff the space between the arms of the "v" with another pillow to make sure my lower back was properly supported. This sort of negates the whole idea of the pillow really. Unless I'm using it wrongly? There were no instructions...! But it really was a lovely gesture, thank you Shaz.
Have spoken to Aged Ps this morning and they're doing fine. And Lesley was as adorable as ever yesterday evening. The whole "jobs thing" seems to be hotting up so we'll see how that all turns out...
Hope you're all having a lovely day. That's all for now. J x
I used the V shaped pillow but I'm not sure how much it contributed to my restful 2 hours. Because of my back I had to stuff the space between the arms of the "v" with another pillow to make sure my lower back was properly supported. This sort of negates the whole idea of the pillow really. Unless I'm using it wrongly? There were no instructions...! But it really was a lovely gesture, thank you Shaz.
Have spoken to Aged Ps this morning and they're doing fine. And Lesley was as adorable as ever yesterday evening. The whole "jobs thing" seems to be hotting up so we'll see how that all turns out...
Hope you're all having a lovely day. That's all for now. J x
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
An Adventure
So we went to see the trees in Heaton Park. Unfortunately we're a couple of weeks too early for them to have changed colour properly yet so whilst there were one or two fine specimens the majority are still green or greenish. However, we did sit outside and have a cup of coffee (instant, Nescafe, yuck) in the Hidden Gem (they got that half right) garden centre in Heaton Park. We also walked all the way round the lake. It was great to wander through trees and hear birdsong. Also, the big gate thing they moved from Cross Street looks fabulous in its completely out of context park setting.
I'm sad to report that the cunning plan didn't work. I had the pain as usual last night and only managed to sleep from 2330 to 0200 and then from 0730 to 0830 (I'm now keeping a precise diary). As an addition to the original cunning plan the lovely Sharon in work is sending me a V shaped pillow to see if it helps. I'm not sure but will try anything. Mother thinks the pain may be brought on by inactivity i.e. staying in one position for 2 hours or so. I'm not so sure as it recurs sometimes through the day too (I'm feeling it as I type). But in any case the referral to hernia-guy is now in process so there's not a lot to be done for the moment.
The PET scan is now taking place on Saturday (who knew they worked Saturdays?) which will miss my consultation on Friday. Obviously but I'll talk to Dr Bailey this Friday to see whether I need to wait a whole week before we can discuss the results or whether I could see him/talk to him before the following Friday.
The lovely Lesley (accompanied by aforementioned V shaped pillow) is calling round tonight and it will be good to see her as its been absolutely ages...
The plan is to meet up with some colleagues (no idea how many) at Restaurant Bar & Grill tomorrow before they all go off to their union dinner which should be good. Shame I'm not fit enough for that as its in a curry house and as we all know curry is my new favourite meal. :-)
Talked to the big boss this morning. She's not read this blog yet which might explain why I'm still getting paid! GP has signed me off for another 50 days.
And that's all bumpkins. More news tomorrow. Wish me luck with my V shapes tonight... J x
I'm sad to report that the cunning plan didn't work. I had the pain as usual last night and only managed to sleep from 2330 to 0200 and then from 0730 to 0830 (I'm now keeping a precise diary). As an addition to the original cunning plan the lovely Sharon in work is sending me a V shaped pillow to see if it helps. I'm not sure but will try anything. Mother thinks the pain may be brought on by inactivity i.e. staying in one position for 2 hours or so. I'm not so sure as it recurs sometimes through the day too (I'm feeling it as I type). But in any case the referral to hernia-guy is now in process so there's not a lot to be done for the moment.
The PET scan is now taking place on Saturday (who knew they worked Saturdays?) which will miss my consultation on Friday. Obviously but I'll talk to Dr Bailey this Friday to see whether I need to wait a whole week before we can discuss the results or whether I could see him/talk to him before the following Friday.
The lovely Lesley (accompanied by aforementioned V shaped pillow) is calling round tonight and it will be good to see her as its been absolutely ages...
The plan is to meet up with some colleagues (no idea how many) at Restaurant Bar & Grill tomorrow before they all go off to their union dinner which should be good. Shame I'm not fit enough for that as its in a curry house and as we all know curry is my new favourite meal. :-)
Talked to the big boss this morning. She's not read this blog yet which might explain why I'm still getting paid! GP has signed me off for another 50 days.
And that's all bumpkins. More news tomorrow. Wish me luck with my V shapes tonight... J x
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
New Regime
So, last night was awful again. Fell asleep on the sofa eventually around 0400. The new cunning plan is to a) Use only Ensure Plus for nutrition (this means the pain shouldn't come on during the day) b) Sleep on the sofa at night (this might mean I don't get the pain - or not as badly - at night: I think Nanny is right about the posture thing. The thing about sleeping propped up in bed is that once asleep you slide down into a flatter position - something that doesn't seem to happen on the sofa). c) Get re-referred to the hernia guy (Mr Malarkey-Moo - not sure if that is his name but can't really remember - I did this today through my GP). d) Take more morphine (again, the GP has prescribed me a vat of it today). And so there we are.
DD has been around a couple of times today to make sure I'm doing as I'm told (see above re cunning plan) and Jim is calling in later. That will be quite enough for one day I think.
Its lonely (but in a strange way quite nice at the moment) to have the flat to myself. Just the peace and quiet (traffic noise apart) really. Have spoken to Aged Ps a coupe of times and it sounds as though they're quite glad to be home too.
Need to write to young Pam in Warrington as she has written to me. I think we should strike up a correspondence. So much more civilised... :-)
And that's all I can think of for the moment bunnies. DD taking me out in the car tomorrow to see trees and my boss will be phoning first thing to shout at me some more about still being ill. I'll catch you up with all that tomorrow. J x
DD has been around a couple of times today to make sure I'm doing as I'm told (see above re cunning plan) and Jim is calling in later. That will be quite enough for one day I think.
Its lonely (but in a strange way quite nice at the moment) to have the flat to myself. Just the peace and quiet (traffic noise apart) really. Have spoken to Aged Ps a coupe of times and it sounds as though they're quite glad to be home too.
Need to write to young Pam in Warrington as she has written to me. I think we should strike up a correspondence. So much more civilised... :-)
And that's all I can think of for the moment bunnies. DD taking me out in the car tomorrow to see trees and my boss will be phoning first thing to shout at me some more about still being ill. I'll catch you up with all that tomorrow. J x
Monday, October 15, 2012
Worser & Worser
Last night was a bit of a nightmare. Pain kicked in early - about 2300 and stayed with me until about 0400. Managed a couple of hours sleep after that but then needed to be up to see the Aged Ps off this morning. Have decided to try another day without solid food today to see if there's any improvement. Thank God for Ensure Plus or this really would be awful (assuming its the solid food interfering with my hernia). Have also made a GP appointment for tomorrow afternoon to see about getting referred back to the hernia specialist. My feeling is I'll need to have surgery to fix this and I can't continue to hang around whilst they "sort my cancer out". Will also see GP about additional morphine - hope he doesn't get arsey about it (they can be funny about morphine sometimes: addiction issues and all that).
DD has already looked in on me to check I'm alright despite Aged Ps only having got on their train half an hour ago! And am meeting a mate from work at 1330 for coffee. Have decided to limit myself to one visit/meeting per day as otherwise I tend to get over tired which isn't good on top of the pain issues.
But on the bright side, I'm feeling OK now. No pain at the moment and I haven't had any painkillers since 0330 this morning. No idea how that works. I used to take more than this before the cancer just for my back...
Anyway, that's all for now. Hope you are all well and saw that bloke jumping out of the balloon and falling to earth. Truly staggering TV footage. Took my breath away. Good for him. J x
DD has already looked in on me to check I'm alright despite Aged Ps only having got on their train half an hour ago! And am meeting a mate from work at 1330 for coffee. Have decided to limit myself to one visit/meeting per day as otherwise I tend to get over tired which isn't good on top of the pain issues.
But on the bright side, I'm feeling OK now. No pain at the moment and I haven't had any painkillers since 0330 this morning. No idea how that works. I used to take more than this before the cancer just for my back...
Anyway, that's all for now. Hope you are all well and saw that bloke jumping out of the balloon and falling to earth. Truly staggering TV footage. Took my breath away. Good for him. J x
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Unbelievably, the verdict is: more tests needed
So, first things first. The CT scan still shows a 6cm mass/growth/tumour/abnormality (apparently these terms are all interchangeable). It has an uneven edge which suggests malignancy. It doesn't appear to have got bigger or changed since the last scan. That is what we know.
They now want to sample the mass (yes, I thought they'd already done that too) as hitherto they have only sampled the fluid. All the samples of the fluid have come back negative (this may be a good sign though).
I had the biopsy of the mass done the same afternoon (i.e. yesterday). It was a simple needle in the back using ultrasound to guide the doctor. Results will be available next Friday when I have another appointment to see Dr Bailey.
He would also like me to have a PET scan. The observant among you will recognise this as something my mother had a few months ago when she had to travel to Cardiff as there wasn't a machine in Swansea. There are 2 machines in Manchester (one at MRI and one at The Christie) and another in Preston for those interested. This will hopefully take place before next Friday (he's marked the referral urgent) but it can't be guaranteed. At this point DD (yes, she's back - more on that later) had a go at him about the amount of time this is all taking. He agreed it was less than ideal but the issue was that they fully expected the fluid to show signs of the cancer and so that was the road they went down. It was unusual to find no trace of cancer in the fluid. The PET scan is a whole body scan which will pick up where the cancer has spread throughout my entire body. I would have thought they'd have done this right at the outset but there you go. Perhaps its really expensive or something. If there's a big delay in getting this scan done then I'll consider getting it done privately.
So that's pretty much where we are on the cancer front. I'll obviously let you have more when I have more.
I asked about the scan of my abdomen (because of all the pain I'm in) and he said he'd had a quick look at it and couldn't see anything but he hadn't had the report from the radiologist yet (the scan had only been done that morning don't forget). Apparently my liver looks fine though. DD expressed some scepticism on this point and I see where she's coming from... :-) The report will have been completed by the time I see him next week. In the meantime I just have to put up with the pain and take the painkillers. Not very satisfactory as sometimes all the painkillers combined don't help (e.g. last night). Not sure why its worse at night.
Will see what the report says and then ask for a referral to the hernia guy. Looking on the internet, painful hernias can be dangerous and so I wouldn't want to leave it too much longer. Of course it may be nothing to do with the hernia - perhaps the cancer has spread to my stomach. Personally I think that would be too much of a coincidence and would have expected him to pick up on this on the CT scan. But the PET scan should cover all this. Will also see my GP as I'm going to ned more morphine. Hope he doesn't kick up a fuss about that (addiction issues and all that).
Moving on... DD has returned. Rested and refreshed from her trip to Sri Lanka. And I am now the proud owner of one beautiful little silver buddha statue and also of two less attractive buddha statues (bought as somewhat of a joke). However, not wishing to miss the opportunity for any cosmic help going, I have put all three up for the moment. I suspect only the silver chap has a long term future though (always assuming I have a long term future!).
It was really good to see her after all this time and it means my parents can go home knowing that I'm in safe hands (although to be fair there are so many pairs of safe hands out there helping me, its almost unbelievable!). Its probably time we all had a break from each other anyway.
The Aged Ps took DD and Lesley out for a meal last night and, judging by the state of them when they returned, multiple bottles of wine were consumed. Think it did everyone good though and was probably a good idea that I didn't go as it allowed them to discuss me more freely.
And that's where we are as of today bunnies. I had a dreadful night so will again be looking to take it easy today and hopefully catch up on some sleep. J x
They now want to sample the mass (yes, I thought they'd already done that too) as hitherto they have only sampled the fluid. All the samples of the fluid have come back negative (this may be a good sign though).
I had the biopsy of the mass done the same afternoon (i.e. yesterday). It was a simple needle in the back using ultrasound to guide the doctor. Results will be available next Friday when I have another appointment to see Dr Bailey.
He would also like me to have a PET scan. The observant among you will recognise this as something my mother had a few months ago when she had to travel to Cardiff as there wasn't a machine in Swansea. There are 2 machines in Manchester (one at MRI and one at The Christie) and another in Preston for those interested. This will hopefully take place before next Friday (he's marked the referral urgent) but it can't be guaranteed. At this point DD (yes, she's back - more on that later) had a go at him about the amount of time this is all taking. He agreed it was less than ideal but the issue was that they fully expected the fluid to show signs of the cancer and so that was the road they went down. It was unusual to find no trace of cancer in the fluid. The PET scan is a whole body scan which will pick up where the cancer has spread throughout my entire body. I would have thought they'd have done this right at the outset but there you go. Perhaps its really expensive or something. If there's a big delay in getting this scan done then I'll consider getting it done privately.
So that's pretty much where we are on the cancer front. I'll obviously let you have more when I have more.
I asked about the scan of my abdomen (because of all the pain I'm in) and he said he'd had a quick look at it and couldn't see anything but he hadn't had the report from the radiologist yet (the scan had only been done that morning don't forget). Apparently my liver looks fine though. DD expressed some scepticism on this point and I see where she's coming from... :-) The report will have been completed by the time I see him next week. In the meantime I just have to put up with the pain and take the painkillers. Not very satisfactory as sometimes all the painkillers combined don't help (e.g. last night). Not sure why its worse at night.
Will see what the report says and then ask for a referral to the hernia guy. Looking on the internet, painful hernias can be dangerous and so I wouldn't want to leave it too much longer. Of course it may be nothing to do with the hernia - perhaps the cancer has spread to my stomach. Personally I think that would be too much of a coincidence and would have expected him to pick up on this on the CT scan. But the PET scan should cover all this. Will also see my GP as I'm going to ned more morphine. Hope he doesn't kick up a fuss about that (addiction issues and all that).
Moving on... DD has returned. Rested and refreshed from her trip to Sri Lanka. And I am now the proud owner of one beautiful little silver buddha statue and also of two less attractive buddha statues (bought as somewhat of a joke). However, not wishing to miss the opportunity for any cosmic help going, I have put all three up for the moment. I suspect only the silver chap has a long term future though (always assuming I have a long term future!).
It was really good to see her after all this time and it means my parents can go home knowing that I'm in safe hands (although to be fair there are so many pairs of safe hands out there helping me, its almost unbelievable!). Its probably time we all had a break from each other anyway.
The Aged Ps took DD and Lesley out for a meal last night and, judging by the state of them when they returned, multiple bottles of wine were consumed. Think it did everyone good though and was probably a good idea that I didn't go as it allowed them to discuss me more freely.
And that's where we are as of today bunnies. I had a dreadful night so will again be looking to take it easy today and hopefully catch up on some sleep. J x
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Topsy Turvey
So yesterday afternoon/evening turned out to be quite challenging for me in terms of pain but then last night was very good. Why this happens like this I've no idea. I'm looking for patterns and triggers but there's nothing common to any of the episodes of pain. I just think perhaps its a divine joke (should there be any such thing as the divine - and no this isn't me hedging my bets despite the recent advice from a religious friend that I might want to consider doing just that!).
Went to Wythenshawe hospital this morning to see Caroline the nurse (DD and I saw her for the pre-op assessment you may recall). She certainly recalled as she spotted me in a very crowded waiting room and greeted me by name. Spent about half an hour with her and came away mightily reassured that I'm doing the right thing. She reckons that a 6 week period of very little fluid draining off may be a trigger point for consideration of having the rain removed. We'll see, watch this space. Aged Ps are not going out for the rest of the day and I may well be going for a lie down soon so probably not a good day for visits (sorry M&P). I think once I'm on my own arranging various visits will be a lot easier. Aged Ps will take a decision on how long they're to remain here following tomorrow's results/decisions.
Nothing else to report for the moment. Sorry but its short and sweet today. Am expecting a phonecall from the returning DD once she's "airside" in Sri Lanka and will let you have any news on that front either later or tomorrow. But I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing her a safe journey. Apparently she's having to pay excess baggage charges for all the good luck Buddha statues she's bringing me back. :-) That's all bunnies. J x
Went to Wythenshawe hospital this morning to see Caroline the nurse (DD and I saw her for the pre-op assessment you may recall). She certainly recalled as she spotted me in a very crowded waiting room and greeted me by name. Spent about half an hour with her and came away mightily reassured that I'm doing the right thing. She reckons that a 6 week period of very little fluid draining off may be a trigger point for consideration of having the rain removed. We'll see, watch this space. Aged Ps are not going out for the rest of the day and I may well be going for a lie down soon so probably not a good day for visits (sorry M&P). I think once I'm on my own arranging various visits will be a lot easier. Aged Ps will take a decision on how long they're to remain here following tomorrow's results/decisions.
Nothing else to report for the moment. Sorry but its short and sweet today. Am expecting a phonecall from the returning DD once she's "airside" in Sri Lanka and will let you have any news on that front either later or tomorrow. But I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing her a safe journey. Apparently she's having to pay excess baggage charges for all the good luck Buddha statues she's bringing me back. :-) That's all bunnies. J x
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Not Dead Yet
But then not eaten any soup yet either. That will be tonight's test. But it is made and finished and it looks and smells wonderful. Well done Mum.
Had a truly awful night last night - one of my worst since being discharged from Wythenshawe And I've no idea why. I did stay out a little too long yesterday (an unexpected two Team members turned up) and so ended up being out for two hours rather than the more manageable (for me) one hour. But I'm sure that wouldn't explain it. Mother thinks it may be the oxygen causing it. Can't see that myself as I've had both good and bad nights on the old O2 but may try giving it a miss tonight and see what happens. Hopefully I won't die.
Today is a taking it easy day and since my Amazon box sets have arrived (Game of Thrones and Stargate Universe) plus the Aged Ps are out for hair-dos and lunch that should be fairly easy to accomplish.
Spoke to the ever fragrant Mrs T this morning. She sends her regards to Manchester from bonny Scotland. She is fine and bonny like all Scottish things. Forgot to ask her how she intends to vote in the referendum. I suspect she will want to remain United but you never know with Mrs T. She can be a bit of a maverick at times.
Have an appointment to do a drain at Wythenshawe hospital tomorrow morning at 1030 the results of which will hopefully feed into the MDT meeting discussions on Friday morning as well as the CT scan results. Fingers crossed as ever for good things.
And that's all for now. Feeling fine this morning with little pain so lets hope that continues. May update later. TTFN. J x
Had a truly awful night last night - one of my worst since being discharged from Wythenshawe And I've no idea why. I did stay out a little too long yesterday (an unexpected two Team members turned up) and so ended up being out for two hours rather than the more manageable (for me) one hour. But I'm sure that wouldn't explain it. Mother thinks it may be the oxygen causing it. Can't see that myself as I've had both good and bad nights on the old O2 but may try giving it a miss tonight and see what happens. Hopefully I won't die.
Today is a taking it easy day and since my Amazon box sets have arrived (Game of Thrones and Stargate Universe) plus the Aged Ps are out for hair-dos and lunch that should be fairly easy to accomplish.
Spoke to the ever fragrant Mrs T this morning. She sends her regards to Manchester from bonny Scotland. She is fine and bonny like all Scottish things. Forgot to ask her how she intends to vote in the referendum. I suspect she will want to remain United but you never know with Mrs T. She can be a bit of a maverick at times.
Have an appointment to do a drain at Wythenshawe hospital tomorrow morning at 1030 the results of which will hopefully feed into the MDT meeting discussions on Friday morning as well as the CT scan results. Fingers crossed as ever for good things.
And that's all for now. Feeling fine this morning with little pain so lets hope that continues. May update later. TTFN. J x
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Soup
Mother and I are making soup today. That is to say, I am reading out the recipe and mother is carrying out my instructions. Its a lesson in good communications and management technique. I'm afraid I've had to threaten her with a "not met" on her performance and indeed she is already on three year pay freeze but I think we will triumph. Please see later for soup updates.
We've started simply with my tried and trusted tomato soup recipe (Maggie, I don't think my finely honed management communication skills are quite up to instructing my mother in how to make one of chef Paul's fabulous looking recipes yet but who knows where this will all lead).
You'll all be pleased to know that I'm having quite a good day so far today (it always does me good when I'm ordering someone around) although last night wasn't brilliant. Hey ho. As long as there are some good times. Am meeting a Team member for a drink tonight so looking forward to that and hearing all about how the mock exam went (and not, of course, any detail on any of the questions as that is verboten as we all know). I miss my Team though. They're a good bunch and they've had to put up with a lot with me (my frequent illnesses being not the least of my many faults) but they've come through. That just shows their fine qualities though.
Of course my boss shouted at me quite a lot for being ill. But I think that's helped. My fear of her dreadful temper and the formidable acts of retribution she carries out have helped me through some really dark times... Of course I'm joking folks and have only put that statement there because she now has the blog address and so will, no doubt, be checking up on what I'm up to whilst on the sick. :-) Expect to see this blog quoted in the transcripts of employment tribunals very soon. In fact it would help if you could finish all your "comments" that refer to us gallivanting around town with a phrase such as "but Jonathan was clearly exhausted by the whole day and looked virtually dead by the end" or something similar jut to cover our backs in the legal sense. Ta.
And that's all for now bunnies. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so after the soup later I'll either be in an even better mood or dead. Let's see how that turns out then... J x
We've started simply with my tried and trusted tomato soup recipe (Maggie, I don't think my finely honed management communication skills are quite up to instructing my mother in how to make one of chef Paul's fabulous looking recipes yet but who knows where this will all lead).
You'll all be pleased to know that I'm having quite a good day so far today (it always does me good when I'm ordering someone around) although last night wasn't brilliant. Hey ho. As long as there are some good times. Am meeting a Team member for a drink tonight so looking forward to that and hearing all about how the mock exam went (and not, of course, any detail on any of the questions as that is verboten as we all know). I miss my Team though. They're a good bunch and they've had to put up with a lot with me (my frequent illnesses being not the least of my many faults) but they've come through. That just shows their fine qualities though.
Of course my boss shouted at me quite a lot for being ill. But I think that's helped. My fear of her dreadful temper and the formidable acts of retribution she carries out have helped me through some really dark times... Of course I'm joking folks and have only put that statement there because she now has the blog address and so will, no doubt, be checking up on what I'm up to whilst on the sick. :-) Expect to see this blog quoted in the transcripts of employment tribunals very soon. In fact it would help if you could finish all your "comments" that refer to us gallivanting around town with a phrase such as "but Jonathan was clearly exhausted by the whole day and looked virtually dead by the end" or something similar jut to cover our backs in the legal sense. Ta.
And that's all for now bunnies. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so after the soup later I'll either be in an even better mood or dead. Let's see how that turns out then... J x
Monday, October 08, 2012
Monday Update
I feel its my duty to report that I've had a good day today and eaten quite a lot - including a (small) portion of the delicious chocolate torte prepared for me by the delectable Ev. And, bunnies, I haven't thrown up. Clearly I was having a bad day on Friday and it was nothing to do with the torte. So there. She is hereby reinstated as the chick with the choc. :-) J x
Infected Kidneys
So it sounds as though mother has a kidney infection. So she's of to the walk-in-centre in Boots today to get some antibiotics. She gets these fairly frequently but its still unpleasant or her so she has all my sympathy.
I'm feeling OK so far this morning. Have heard from the hospital and my CT scan is scheduled to take place on Friday morning at 0830. First on the list (I assume) should mean no delays and waiting around but you never know when there's going to be an emergency. Anyway, at least it will take place before I see Dr Bailey and before their Friday morning get togethers. Have just spoken to the cancer nurse and she says that the guy who writes the reports on the scans (the radiologist) attends their get-togethers so once the scan is on the system he will be able to talk them through it.
Seeing my boss this afternoon so it will be good to catch up on any work news I've missed (although to be fair Lesley keeps me pretty up to date). But it should give me a chance to regularise our contacts going forward (its been pretty hit and miss so far).
And that's about all I know so far today (apart from the fact that the sun is shining in Northumberland - thank you Mrs T). The cricket was exciting (yawn) but a pity Sri Lanka lost. And Downton looks like it might be quite exciting next week with Thomas (said in best Tom & Jerry voice) up to his old tricks. Yay for old tricks. :-) J x
Sunday, October 07, 2012
Okey Smokey Day
So yesterday was OK but then it did involve 2 hits of morphine. One in the morning and one to get me through the night. But that's OK. That's why they gave it to me.
Am mystified as to why all my pain is in my abdomen and in my back rather than in my chest. But then a lot of what's been going on has been mystifying. The CT scan I have this week will cover my chest and my abdomen so that may throw up some answers. I harbour a sneaking suspicion that my hernia is somehow involved but I'm not a doctor... And even if it is the hernia, it wouldn't necessarily explain the fluid around my lungs so wouldn't rule out me having lung cancer at the same time. We all know how lucky I am...
A trip to big Sainsburys is the highlight of the day for me whereas the cricket final (on telly this afternoon) is the highlight for the Aged Ps. Hey ho. I'm glad they're here all the same.
DD is in (constant) touch and sends her love to everyone. She's back on Friday and will be stepping off the plane and straight into my next appointment with Dr Bailey. God help him if she's jet-lagged...
And whilst I remember, I want to give a shout out (is that what one does on a blog?) to the lovely Debbie who I keep threatening to phone and then never do because something else turns up and I think "oh, I'll just wait until I've learned about that before I phone her". Sorry sweetie, rest assured you help me simply because I know you're there at the end of the phone if I need to speak to you. Thank you.
And that's all for now bunnies. Oh, apart from to note that its also Downton night. So there's another highlight for us all :-) J x
Am mystified as to why all my pain is in my abdomen and in my back rather than in my chest. But then a lot of what's been going on has been mystifying. The CT scan I have this week will cover my chest and my abdomen so that may throw up some answers. I harbour a sneaking suspicion that my hernia is somehow involved but I'm not a doctor... And even if it is the hernia, it wouldn't necessarily explain the fluid around my lungs so wouldn't rule out me having lung cancer at the same time. We all know how lucky I am...
A trip to big Sainsburys is the highlight of the day for me whereas the cricket final (on telly this afternoon) is the highlight for the Aged Ps. Hey ho. I'm glad they're here all the same.
DD is in (constant) touch and sends her love to everyone. She's back on Friday and will be stepping off the plane and straight into my next appointment with Dr Bailey. God help him if she's jet-lagged...
And whilst I remember, I want to give a shout out (is that what one does on a blog?) to the lovely Debbie who I keep threatening to phone and then never do because something else turns up and I think "oh, I'll just wait until I've learned about that before I phone her". Sorry sweetie, rest assured you help me simply because I know you're there at the end of the phone if I need to speak to you. Thank you.
And that's all for now bunnies. Oh, apart from to note that its also Downton night. So there's another highlight for us all :-) J x
Saturday, October 06, 2012
Inconclusive
So, as ever with these things, I don't take the easy route.
The results from the biopsy are inconclusive i.e. they haven't been able to identify any cancer cells. Everyone's first thought on hearing this will be "yay, it's not cancer" but hold your horses please. The doctor says that at the multi-disciplinary team meeting the feeling is still that the most likely explanation of what I have got is lung cancer. All the other symptoms point to this as does the CT scan I had which shows a "6cm mass". They just haven't been able to find the actual tumour yet - and no, I'm not really sure why either.
So the next step is to take another CT scan. This will show any changes that have taken place since the last scan which could be instructive. Indeed there should be changes because my right lung has inflated a bit since they removed all the fluid from the pleural area. It hasn't inflated fully - but there's a whole other story attached to this which isn't important right now. The scan will take place next week and I have another appointment to see Dr Bailey next Friday. So can we all keep our fingers crossed please?
And that's all I know at the minute which, I agree, isn't really helpful in the scheme of things. Sorry.
Had a dreadful day yesterday. Threw up all my chocolate torte in the hospital (sorry Ev - now to be known as the chick with the choc and the chuck!). Twice. Luckily I made it to the toilet each time - indeed the second time was in the middle of seeing Dr Bailey. Then I had a dreadful night last night but my mother forced morphine down my throat this morning (despite all my bravado on the subject I do try not to take it if I can help it) and I've now slept and feel much better for it.
So that's where we are. I intend taking the rest of the weekend quietly and hopefully will be feeling much better come Monday and can resume visits etc. Thank you all for your continued support. It really does help.. And that is all folks. J x
The results from the biopsy are inconclusive i.e. they haven't been able to identify any cancer cells. Everyone's first thought on hearing this will be "yay, it's not cancer" but hold your horses please. The doctor says that at the multi-disciplinary team meeting the feeling is still that the most likely explanation of what I have got is lung cancer. All the other symptoms point to this as does the CT scan I had which shows a "6cm mass". They just haven't been able to find the actual tumour yet - and no, I'm not really sure why either.
So the next step is to take another CT scan. This will show any changes that have taken place since the last scan which could be instructive. Indeed there should be changes because my right lung has inflated a bit since they removed all the fluid from the pleural area. It hasn't inflated fully - but there's a whole other story attached to this which isn't important right now. The scan will take place next week and I have another appointment to see Dr Bailey next Friday. So can we all keep our fingers crossed please?
And that's all I know at the minute which, I agree, isn't really helpful in the scheme of things. Sorry.
Had a dreadful day yesterday. Threw up all my chocolate torte in the hospital (sorry Ev - now to be known as the chick with the choc and the chuck!). Twice. Luckily I made it to the toilet each time - indeed the second time was in the middle of seeing Dr Bailey. Then I had a dreadful night last night but my mother forced morphine down my throat this morning (despite all my bravado on the subject I do try not to take it if I can help it) and I've now slept and feel much better for it.
So that's where we are. I intend taking the rest of the weekend quietly and hopefully will be feeling much better come Monday and can resume visits etc. Thank you all for your continued support. It really does help.. And that is all folks. J x
Friday, October 05, 2012
The Lovely Ev
The chick with the choc. Thank you Ev for another lovely torte. I've had a slice already. Yum. Will post later re results.
Also thanks to the lovely Dani for the lovely book. I shall tackle that once I've finished reading Pat's cast offs... :-) J x
Also thanks to the lovely Dani for the lovely book. I shall tackle that once I've finished reading Pat's cast offs... :-) J x
Thursday, October 04, 2012
On The Train...
... and on their way. The Aged Ps that is, are on their great Northerly migration. They're staying until at least Denise gets back from Sri Lanka (a week tomorrow for anyone who doesn't already have the 12th starred as a red letter day on their calendar).
Have had a good day today (even though in a little bit of pain right at this moment). Met Sara for coffee and exchanged news and heard all about her trip to Pembroke which sounded lovely. I used to have a friend who had a holiday cottage in Pembroke and I used to go down and stay with her occasionally. Its a lovely part of Wales and also very "English" (its known as "little England" - presumably because a lot of English people retire/holiday there).
Thence it was to Cafe Istanbul to meet with various representatives of the Leadership Team for the NW&NW Region of HMRC. Lovely to see them all and talk about work again. God I've missed that - in fact if it wasn't for Lesley I'm fairly sure I would have gone round the bend in the absence of news from work. As anyone who knows me will know, I quite like my job. :-)
Have also spoken to Denise and received my instructions about how the meeting with my consultant tomorrow is to be conducted. As ever she makes lots of very good points which will feed into my list of questions.
And that's about all for now. Will blog again tomorrow after the constant's appointment to let you all know what has been said. J x
Have had a good day today (even though in a little bit of pain right at this moment). Met Sara for coffee and exchanged news and heard all about her trip to Pembroke which sounded lovely. I used to have a friend who had a holiday cottage in Pembroke and I used to go down and stay with her occasionally. Its a lovely part of Wales and also very "English" (its known as "little England" - presumably because a lot of English people retire/holiday there).
Thence it was to Cafe Istanbul to meet with various representatives of the Leadership Team for the NW&NW Region of HMRC. Lovely to see them all and talk about work again. God I've missed that - in fact if it wasn't for Lesley I'm fairly sure I would have gone round the bend in the absence of news from work. As anyone who knows me will know, I quite like my job. :-)
Have also spoken to Denise and received my instructions about how the meeting with my consultant tomorrow is to be conducted. As ever she makes lots of very good points which will feed into my list of questions.
And that's about all for now. Will blog again tomorrow after the constant's appointment to let you all know what has been said. J x
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
A New Day
So feeling quite a bit better today. But have cancelled one visit just in case. Lesley, of course, will be round later to check on me and bring me some of DD's famous home-made soups. May well try experimenting with some soup recipes when mother and father are here and can assist.
Have just had a chocolate mousse which, nutritionally speaking, probably hasn't helped much but will have a lot of calories in it. I am taking a daily vitamin drink to make sure I get the ones I need.
Am not sure that vodka withdrawal feels quite like this but never having been through vodka withdrawal before I can't be sure. I understand from Denise that it is World Temperance Day today and that Sri Lanka is observing this with a day-long ban on alcohol. I would like us all to take a few moments to thing about Denise and what she must be going through. Please support her in her hour of need by raising a glass in her name because she can't... :-)
A well wisher has sent me a DVD of Golden Girls series. Not seen these for years so it will be interesting to see how they stand the test of time. Thank you Cath, a lovely idea.
Ma & Pa arrive tomorrow so I need to do a bit of cleaning. They'll just have to put up with some of the dust though or else just muck in with a bit of dusting themselves (to be fair, they always have). But I'm sure I can manage a bit of hoovering.
Have a lunch date tomorrow with a bunch of colleagues which will hopefully go ahead and go well. I'll update you tomorrow. And that's all for now. J x
Have just had a chocolate mousse which, nutritionally speaking, probably hasn't helped much but will have a lot of calories in it. I am taking a daily vitamin drink to make sure I get the ones I need.
Am not sure that vodka withdrawal feels quite like this but never having been through vodka withdrawal before I can't be sure. I understand from Denise that it is World Temperance Day today and that Sri Lanka is observing this with a day-long ban on alcohol. I would like us all to take a few moments to thing about Denise and what she must be going through. Please support her in her hour of need by raising a glass in her name because she can't... :-)
A well wisher has sent me a DVD of Golden Girls series. Not seen these for years so it will be interesting to see how they stand the test of time. Thank you Cath, a lovely idea.
Ma & Pa arrive tomorrow so I need to do a bit of cleaning. They'll just have to put up with some of the dust though or else just muck in with a bit of dusting themselves (to be fair, they always have). But I'm sure I can manage a bit of hoovering.
Have a lunch date tomorrow with a bunch of colleagues which will hopefully go ahead and go well. I'll update you tomorrow. And that's all for now. J x
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
A Bit Better Today
Had a really awful day yesterday in the end. Spent most of it feeling quite ill and really had to force myself to eat something but even then didn't eat much. I probably need to do something about this so I will ask the cancer nurse to give me a ring again and talk through what my options are.
Today is a little better although the feeling ill stuff comes and goes. At least today its not constant. Have a hairdressers appointment at 1600 which I will try and make as it will get me out of the flat and give me some fresh air. Hopefully the exercise will do me some good. And God knows my hair needs a cut. I can virtually sit on it. :-)
Thank you everyone for your continued good wishes. They make all the difference in the world. And its really odd who has taken the trouble to get in touch. People who I didn't think knew me particularly well have got in touch with some lovely words and thoughts. So thank you all.
Although I have made plans for meeting people for coffee later in the week (plans made last week when I was feeling quite well) please don't be annoyed if I cancel last minute as it really is an hour by hour thing with me at the moment. Hopefully this won't continue much longer and the doctors/nurses will be able to recommend even more drugs for me to take.
And that's all for now. J x
Today is a little better although the feeling ill stuff comes and goes. At least today its not constant. Have a hairdressers appointment at 1600 which I will try and make as it will get me out of the flat and give me some fresh air. Hopefully the exercise will do me some good. And God knows my hair needs a cut. I can virtually sit on it. :-)
Thank you everyone for your continued good wishes. They make all the difference in the world. And its really odd who has taken the trouble to get in touch. People who I didn't think knew me particularly well have got in touch with some lovely words and thoughts. So thank you all.
Although I have made plans for meeting people for coffee later in the week (plans made last week when I was feeling quite well) please don't be annoyed if I cancel last minute as it really is an hour by hour thing with me at the moment. Hopefully this won't continue much longer and the doctors/nurses will be able to recommend even more drugs for me to take.
And that's all for now. J x
Monday, October 01, 2012
News & No News
The news is that I've spoken to the cancer nurse this morning and I now have an appointment to see Dr Bailey (my original consultant) on Friday afternoon. But they still haven't had the biopsy results from the labs at Wythenshawe. Not sure what all this is about but little I can do until someone is willing to tell me something. Hopefully that will now happen on Friday.
She also confirmed that the phrase in my Disability Living Allowance award that I get the higher award "because you are virtually unable to walk" is just the standard phraseology and that the claim was properly made. But if it is just standard wording then that seems wrong too. Why would they have that as standard wording? My Team member who used to work for the DWP confirmed that that was the case too. Bizarre.
Aged Ps have decided to come back up on Thursday so that they're here when I get the results.
Not feeling grand at the moment but I had a good night and I've had some breakfast but no lunch yet. Will try and have an Ensure once I feel a little better. On the suggestions front, thank you for those (whether on here - Paul & Maggie - or by text - Ev). Looking forward to lots of tasty treats now. :-) That's all bunnies. J x
She also confirmed that the phrase in my Disability Living Allowance award that I get the higher award "because you are virtually unable to walk" is just the standard phraseology and that the claim was properly made. But if it is just standard wording then that seems wrong too. Why would they have that as standard wording? My Team member who used to work for the DWP confirmed that that was the case too. Bizarre.
Aged Ps have decided to come back up on Thursday so that they're here when I get the results.
Not feeling grand at the moment but I had a good night and I've had some breakfast but no lunch yet. Will try and have an Ensure once I feel a little better. On the suggestions front, thank you for those (whether on here - Paul & Maggie - or by text - Ev). Looking forward to lots of tasty treats now. :-) That's all bunnies. J x
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Theatre-Less
So, since feeling odd I decided not to chance Cabaret last night. I didn't like the thought of being trapped in the middle of a row of seats and unable to leave quickly and easily if I felt the need. And even if I hadn't actually felt the need I would have spent all night worrying about it and so not enjoyed myself. For the same reason I'm not going to Jesus Christ Superstar tonight either. Its a real shame but there you go. Reports say that Will Young (and the production) was superb whilst Sally Bowles was less so. Sian Williams (playing the landlady) was also very good. I'd forgotten that the stage play differs quite a bit from the film and the landlady has a more major role.
Have felt not too good for most of today. I did a drain this morning which produced minimal fluids but which didn't leave me feeling much better. Perked up a bit this afternoon when Lesley visited and following an Ensure Plus.
I appear to have lost my appetite for Ensure Pluses and am trying to make myself drink them but even so I'm not having as many as I would normally. This, of course, goes some way to explaining the weight loss. Its over a stone and a half now and I don't want to lose any more so I'm trying my best to keep eating. If anyone has any bright ideas on this (given all my known limitations) then please feel free to share.
Have left message for cancer nurse to phone me in the morning (assuming she's in the office tomorrow) as I want to know what's happening and when I'm likely to see anyone and I'm fed up just waiting around.
I finally enjoyed an episode of Dr Who last night. Shame its the last one until Xmas. But hey the Arthur and Merlin love-in starts again next week so that will keep me going. So its Countryfile and Downton for me tonight... Hope all you bunnies out there are having fun. As soon as I know any results I'll post here. Night all. J x
Have felt not too good for most of today. I did a drain this morning which produced minimal fluids but which didn't leave me feeling much better. Perked up a bit this afternoon when Lesley visited and following an Ensure Plus.
I appear to have lost my appetite for Ensure Pluses and am trying to make myself drink them but even so I'm not having as many as I would normally. This, of course, goes some way to explaining the weight loss. Its over a stone and a half now and I don't want to lose any more so I'm trying my best to keep eating. If anyone has any bright ideas on this (given all my known limitations) then please feel free to share.
Have left message for cancer nurse to phone me in the morning (assuming she's in the office tomorrow) as I want to know what's happening and when I'm likely to see anyone and I'm fed up just waiting around.
I finally enjoyed an episode of Dr Who last night. Shame its the last one until Xmas. But hey the Arthur and Merlin love-in starts again next week so that will keep me going. So its Countryfile and Downton for me tonight... Hope all you bunnies out there are having fun. As soon as I know any results I'll post here. Night all. J x
Saturday, September 29, 2012
And Commiserations...
... to Denise who is having to watch cricket without the aid of alcohol today as it is some bizarre alcohol-free-religious-festival-thingy in Sri Lanka. I might post her some drugs to help her through it. J x
Feeling a Little Odd
No other way to describe it really. I slept well and am not in pain as such but just feel odd. Maybe I need to do a drain but its only a couple of days since I did one and that produced bugger all fluid so I may leave it until tomorrow.
But I have Cabaret tonight and I don't want anything to spoil that. Have just discovered though that all the arrangements I was making with Lesley about getting to the Lowry were a waste of time as she's at the matinee performance and I'm at the evening one! Good job we found that out now...
Probably just need to drug myself up and take drugs with me. Always good for a theatre trip in my experience. :-)
Next week looking really busy for coffee meetings as there are a number of work events in Manchester and, HMRC people being HMRC people, everyone is looking to take advantage of getting their expenses paid to meet up with me! I may have to draw up a waiting list. Cancellations only... We'll see. I think Jane is looking to organise a lunchtime thing (she does like her lunches) and so I could see many people at once.
And that's the news for today bunnies, I'l post a theatre review tomorrow. J x
But I have Cabaret tonight and I don't want anything to spoil that. Have just discovered though that all the arrangements I was making with Lesley about getting to the Lowry were a waste of time as she's at the matinee performance and I'm at the evening one! Good job we found that out now...
Probably just need to drug myself up and take drugs with me. Always good for a theatre trip in my experience. :-)
Next week looking really busy for coffee meetings as there are a number of work events in Manchester and, HMRC people being HMRC people, everyone is looking to take advantage of getting their expenses paid to meet up with me! I may have to draw up a waiting list. Cancellations only... We'll see. I think Jane is looking to organise a lunchtime thing (she does like her lunches) and so I could see many people at once.
And that's the news for today bunnies, I'l post a theatre review tomorrow. J x
Friday, September 28, 2012
Nearly There
Walked as far as Boots (Market Street) today from whence its just a hop skip and a jump to Harvey Nichols and the best espresso martini this side of the Pennines. Do you hear that Harvey? I'm on my way...
Met up with Lesley for a coffee (1130) and then Jane (1230) by which time I was all coffee'd out and walked home carrying my very beautiful and very lovely Diptyque candle (thank you Jane). Its beautiful but I just have to be careful its not lit when the oxygen is turned on as oxygen + naked flame = lots of clearing up afterwards!
Had a good night last night and not in too much pain today (although I think I may have overdone it slightly by being out so long). Lesson learned. Shall stay in tonight and enjoy Gardeners World and True Blood. Yay.
Discovered that weight loss (just over a stone) means I can now get into some of the clothes I bought after the last bout of cancer so thank God I hung onto them. Still need to do a wardrobe edit though to get rid of stuff that I just don't wear/don't like/have never worn to a) make a bit of money and b) save having to buy a new wardrobe. That will be next week's task. Looking forward to it. Trouble is that I rediscover things I'd completely forgotten I had (and therefore never wear) and fall in love with them all over again. Even though I never wanted to. What's a boy to do? Can't help it. :-)
That's all bunnies. J x
Met up with Lesley for a coffee (1130) and then Jane (1230) by which time I was all coffee'd out and walked home carrying my very beautiful and very lovely Diptyque candle (thank you Jane). Its beautiful but I just have to be careful its not lit when the oxygen is turned on as oxygen + naked flame = lots of clearing up afterwards!
Had a good night last night and not in too much pain today (although I think I may have overdone it slightly by being out so long). Lesson learned. Shall stay in tonight and enjoy Gardeners World and True Blood. Yay.
Discovered that weight loss (just over a stone) means I can now get into some of the clothes I bought after the last bout of cancer so thank God I hung onto them. Still need to do a wardrobe edit though to get rid of stuff that I just don't wear/don't like/have never worn to a) make a bit of money and b) save having to buy a new wardrobe. That will be next week's task. Looking forward to it. Trouble is that I rediscover things I'd completely forgotten I had (and therefore never wear) and fall in love with them all over again. Even though I never wanted to. What's a boy to do? Can't help it. :-)
That's all bunnies. J x
Thursday, September 27, 2012
So Long, Farewell...
... well you know the rest of the song. Aged Ps have departed for shores bilingual and I've been on a road trip to Eccles with Lesley to pick up a parcel for Madam. Very exciting stuff.
Didn't have a good night. Not pain so much as discomfort. Assumed this must be related to the fact that I'd waited an extra day to drain but then did that first thing this morning and there was only a minimal amount of fluid. Not sure what's going on there (nor indeed what should be going on there). Must make sure its on my list of questions for the doctors next week.
Seeing Ev later and am interested to see how I manage the walk into town because once I can do that comfortably I can go shopping, or back to work or whatever... :-) That's all for now. J x
Didn't have a good night. Not pain so much as discomfort. Assumed this must be related to the fact that I'd waited an extra day to drain but then did that first thing this morning and there was only a minimal amount of fluid. Not sure what's going on there (nor indeed what should be going on there). Must make sure its on my list of questions for the doctors next week.
Seeing Ev later and am interested to see how I manage the walk into town because once I can do that comfortably I can go shopping, or back to work or whatever... :-) That's all for now. J x
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Results to be discussed...
...next week. Have spoken to Helen (my cancer nurse) who tells me that the results are in Wythenshawe but "haven't been typed up yet". They will be discussed at the Multi-Disciplinary Team meeting on Friday morning (which will include Dr Bailey - MRI, Mr Soon - Wythenshawe and Mr Burt - Christie and any number of other people). I then expect to be called in by one of the above for a discussion of options and more detailed prognosis. So the wait goes on...
In the meantime have been to Sainsburys again this morning and am off to Denise's gaffe to meet Lesley for coffee in a minute. The Aged Ps are talking about going home Friday as they have various appointments they need to attend to as well and they will come back up and as when needed. It will be good for us all to have a break from each other I think and I'm now capable of fending for myself pretty much.
Watched The Paradise last night - not a huge success I didn't think but it may develop over time. Had a visit from Toby yesterday and was good to see him. He's left me a copy of his wedding video to watch which is... lovely. :-) And that's all for now. J x
In the meantime have been to Sainsburys again this morning and am off to Denise's gaffe to meet Lesley for coffee in a minute. The Aged Ps are talking about going home Friday as they have various appointments they need to attend to as well and they will come back up and as when needed. It will be good for us all to have a break from each other I think and I'm now capable of fending for myself pretty much.
Watched The Paradise last night - not a huge success I didn't think but it may develop over time. Had a visit from Toby yesterday and was good to see him. He's left me a copy of his wedding video to watch which is... lovely. :-) And that's all for now. J x
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Still No Word...
... from the hospital. But it may be that the postman just wasn't able to get his scuba gear on today as there's been no post at all.
Welcome to Lesley on the blog - my current principal carer (in the absence of the carer-in-chief (oversea branch)).
Had a really good night last night (over 8 hours sleep) as used Drug Number 4 (Ibuprofen) as part of the heady cocktail I'm on. Also had 2 beers but I'm sure this didn't contribute at all to the zzzs.
Made the trek to the local Sainsbury's and back with my father this morning - in the weather. A round trip of 20 minutes. It was slow going but I don't appear to have suffered any adverse effects. Off round the corner to meet Lesley for coffee tomorrow and then hopefully into Deansgate Nero on Thursday to meet Ev and Cath for coffee. Its almost like being on holiday (apart from the cancer bit).
And not much else to report really. Not enjoying Dr Who particularly at the moment. I think they're missing Russell T but this week might be more exciting as the weeping angels are back.
And I'm sorry, but that's really all there is. J x
Welcome to Lesley on the blog - my current principal carer (in the absence of the carer-in-chief (oversea branch)).
Had a really good night last night (over 8 hours sleep) as used Drug Number 4 (Ibuprofen) as part of the heady cocktail I'm on. Also had 2 beers but I'm sure this didn't contribute at all to the zzzs.
Made the trek to the local Sainsbury's and back with my father this morning - in the weather. A round trip of 20 minutes. It was slow going but I don't appear to have suffered any adverse effects. Off round the corner to meet Lesley for coffee tomorrow and then hopefully into Deansgate Nero on Thursday to meet Ev and Cath for coffee. Its almost like being on holiday (apart from the cancer bit).
And not much else to report really. Not enjoying Dr Who particularly at the moment. I think they're missing Russell T but this week might be more exciting as the weeping angels are back.
And I'm sorry, but that's really all there is. J x
Monday, September 24, 2012
No Word...
... from the hospital yet but it is only Monday.
A particularly wet Monday which has meant that the guttering for the flat above me has overflowed (the down pipe isn't big enough for Manchester-level rain volumes) and so have been mopping up somewhat where it leaks in through the doors onto the terrace. Only happens with truly biblical downpours though.
Nevertheless Ma & Pa ventured out to Sainsburys in search of provisions and the Times crossword. Mother was even double-anoracked. Something I have never witnessed before. I have a photograph but still lack the ability to transfer photos onto here.
Had a bad night, Saturday and a not good morning on Sunday. But I drained my pleura Sunday afternoon (50ml) and feel much better for it. Slept through last night and painkiller consumption is noticeably down today.
Bryn & Michelle popped in on Sunday and good to see them as ever. Sounds like New York planning is going right to the wire and that as a result accommodation discounts are likely to be high. No decisions yet from Denise as to whether she goes or not. No visitors today but a team member coming tomorrow evening.
Denise still enjoying Sri Lanka but they have a bit of on-off monsoon there too I believe.
Getting a little bored now but was forbidden from leaving the flat today for the walk to Sainsburys. Hopefully will be allowed out tomorrow and eventually for the walk into town to meet people for coffee. Have the Lowry on Saturday (Cabaret with Will Young as the emcee) and MEN on Sunday (Jesus Christ Superstar - good review in The Times today) so need to start building up some strength soon... That's all. J x
A particularly wet Monday which has meant that the guttering for the flat above me has overflowed (the down pipe isn't big enough for Manchester-level rain volumes) and so have been mopping up somewhat where it leaks in through the doors onto the terrace. Only happens with truly biblical downpours though.
Nevertheless Ma & Pa ventured out to Sainsburys in search of provisions and the Times crossword. Mother was even double-anoracked. Something I have never witnessed before. I have a photograph but still lack the ability to transfer photos onto here.
Had a bad night, Saturday and a not good morning on Sunday. But I drained my pleura Sunday afternoon (50ml) and feel much better for it. Slept through last night and painkiller consumption is noticeably down today.
Bryn & Michelle popped in on Sunday and good to see them as ever. Sounds like New York planning is going right to the wire and that as a result accommodation discounts are likely to be high. No decisions yet from Denise as to whether she goes or not. No visitors today but a team member coming tomorrow evening.
Denise still enjoying Sri Lanka but they have a bit of on-off monsoon there too I believe.
Getting a little bored now but was forbidden from leaving the flat today for the walk to Sainsburys. Hopefully will be allowed out tomorrow and eventually for the walk into town to meet people for coffee. Have the Lowry on Saturday (Cabaret with Will Young as the emcee) and MEN on Sunday (Jesus Christ Superstar - good review in The Times today) so need to start building up some strength soon... That's all. J x
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