Lots To Report

London was good. Got there on Thursday afternoon and met up with the Aged Ps. we didn't do much and had our evening meal in the hotel (which was nice). Friday morning was shopping - Harrods, Jaeger, Burberry & Orange! I didn't buy anything but my Dad bought a jumper and my Mum bought a wash bag. Met up with my Uncle and Aunt for an early dinner in Covent Garden and then off to the Savoy theatre for Porgy & Bess. Not my type of musical. But Mum and Dad enjoyed it which was the important thing. Saturday morning met up with my godmother who I haven't seen since she became my godmother. Needless to say we'd both changed quite a bit and wouldn't have recognised one another in the street! Went to the National Portrait Gallery (where I hadn't been before) which was impressive. Only had time to do the modern bit but I really liked it. Then down to Brighton to stay with John on Saturday night. Watched Conor play a bit of football on Sunday morning (they lost 4 - 0) and then back to Manchester Sunday afternoon.

To the theatre again Tuesday evening to see Blood Brothers, which is good for the most part although it only has about three songs which get repeated all through the show. Linda Nolan appeared to be digitally enhanced for her big numbers.

My Mum was also taken back into hospital on Tuesday afternoon with her foot. She had another operation Tuesday night and they're now monitoring her. Luckily it sounds as though the ward she is on is a lot better than the one she was on before so hopefully her stay will be a lot more comfortable this time. So I'm going home this weekend to help out my Dad and to do what I can for my Mum. It looks as though Portugal won't be going ahead now though which is a shame. Never mind, Mum's health comes first.

Saw Frances this morning and she was quite encouraging. She thinks it is worth perservering with trying to eat solid food even though it is difficult. Any improvements to be made will be smaller now than at first so I don't have to see her now for another 6 months. She'll pop in and see me from time to time when I see Sean at Christies though so I don't feel totally abandonned! Seeing the hospital dentist tomorrow at MRI. Not entirely sure why but I'll update you when I can.

My Uncle and Aunt have got me tickets to see a Phillip Glass opera at ENO a week Monday so I'll be off to Brighton again the weekend after next and then staying with them in London on Monday night. All depends on how things are with my Mum of course. This also means that I can't make the book group for The Devil Wears Prada (which I've actually read this time) but since Harvey Nicks isn't open on a Monday we'd have had to reschedule anyway...

Bumped into the Incredibly Reverend Roger Stone tonight as I was leaving work (he's now an Anti-Avoidance Manager and has staff all over). It was good to see him and we'll get together for a drink next time he's in town. He did make the sign of the cross over me though as he was being driven away so I think its all downhill from here on in!

Night. J x

Orf We Jolly Well Go

Off to London & Brighton for the weekend. Yippee. Aged Ps and John. Porgy & Bess. Sunshine. Shopping. What could be finer? Will post extensively when I get back. But while I'm away here's something to ponder - should this blog also become a discussion group for issues of the day e.g. should we all be regularly posting our thoughts on vital matters such as which of the aspiring apprentices (apprentici?) is the most annoying/attractive/stupid/clever? J x

Happy Easter

The sun is out. I went to the gym last night. I'm going to B & Q this morning. Denise is back. Are all these events connected? Who knows but I know I'm feeling good.

Got a packed long weekend of gardening, garden centres, DIY stores, gym, drinks, cinema. Who could ask for more?

Managed to make it to the Book Group on Monday (the first time for over a year). We met at Chez Gerard (phew, they do soup and ice cream). It was nice to see evryone after so long. The next meeting is down to me to arrange and since we're doing The Devil Wears Prada its fitting that the meal should be at Harvey Nicks! I enjoyed the film but we'll see what the book is like. Can't be worse than Penelope bloody Lively and Moon Tiger though.

Is everyone watching the Apprentice? Personally I can't stand Alan Sugar but its worth putting up with his over inflated ego just to see what a bunch of tossers there are on the programme. Honestly I have to hide behind a cushion at times because they are just so awful. I want to take a knife and stab each and every one of them. Repeatedly. And slowly. And as you all know I'm not a violent person...

Off to London next Thursday (with the Aged Ones - mother's foot not too bad at the moment - now she's remembered that painkillers actually help with pain - and father's broken rib is easing)and then to Brighton on Saturday to stay with John. Looking forward to it.

And that's all the news for now I think. Will post again over the hols if I think of anything else. J x

Good News Good News Good News

The scan was clear. I was so relieved. And bless him Sean told me the scan was clear before he'd even said hello. This is such a weight off my shoulders. I don't think I should type anything else now but I know what a group you are for minutiae so I suppose I ought to expand on the rest of the meeting for you. The lovely lovely Debbie was there briefly. Has she coloured her hair a different colour? Hard to tell but I though I detected a subtle lightening of tone. Suits her. Frances was there too wanting to put the tube up my nose and down my throat (that woman is obsessed) but we agreed that we'd do it at my next consultation with her when she'll be able to record it. I think she's making a series. I expect to see my inner workings on You Tube any day now. Sean enquired after my weight and for those of you interested I am currently stable and fluctuating between 11 10 and 12 1. This is what Sean weighs apparently which makes him overweight on the BMI scale (he's a tiny bit shorter than me). Just the odd foot or 2! But his hips are bigger than his waistline so that's OK. Apparently. According to the TV it means you're a rower or something. Whilst in Portugal I will have to be aware of the sun (Ha!) but I don't have to avoid it altogether which is good news (should there be any sun). And that's all folks. But I'm sure you'll agree a momentous day. Oh and I also got some vouchers through the post - money off at Livebait (that's the Aged Ps happy) and money off Chez Gerrard (that's the book group happy because we're meeting there on Monday). TTFN. J x

Good Golly Miss Dolly

Well Ms Parton was OK. I think she was let down by the venue by which I mean that I don't think large arenas were built for country & western music. Big arenas are for shows like Kylie or Take That where they're full of screaming pre-pubesence or at least filled by a spectacular light show. Country and western is actually about listening to the music. And its a bit harder to do that in a very large venue. The place was packed out though. Who knew she had so many fans? Went for pre-show cocktails in Harvey Nicks with Jane first. They had the Dolce & Gabbana spring/summer menswear show on continuous loop on the DVD player so there was something pretty to look at whilst downing my espresso martini. In fact we enjoyed Messrs D & G so much that we ate there as well. I had broccoli and stilton soup followed by black treacle, cinnamon and calvados ice cream (three separate flavours rather than all in one). Jane had chicken a la king followed by some sort of rhubarb. All very tasty. And the toilets in HN are fab too. You really must go. After that to Zinc for a drink and to meet Cath followed by the concert. Had to have a medical before they'd let me past the doors with my bottle of water (yes, really). After Ms Parton met up with Gordon & Lizzie for a drink in Label (how appropriate given that I was wearing so many of them) and then home by 11.30.

Scan this morning - not as bad as I was expecting. Having your head bolted to a table for radiotherapy treatment every day for 6 weeks means that half an hour/40 minutes in an MRI scanner isn't quite as scary as you remember it. I'll get the results next Thursday when I see Sean. Also have to see my GP next Thursday as he needs to review my drugs habit - he better not be thinking of making me go cold turkey (which I understand is one of UKIP's main policies) or there'll be trouble. Night night everyone. J x

Update

Didn't have MRI as machine was broken. They claimed they tried to contact me before I drove all the way down there and paid my £1.50 for parking but there was nothing on my machine... Now got MRI scan on Wednesday (day after Dolly).

Saw eye doctor today and they don't think I have cancer in my eye (whoopee). Instead they think I have eyelash dandruff (there is a technical term but the leaflet is in the front room and I really can't be doing with walking all the way there to get it so eyelash dandruff will have to do for now). Anyway, this ED can clog your pores and cause a "sty-like" infection which is what they think has happened to me. I'm now armed with a cream and cotton buds which should clear it all up pronto (whoopee again).

Nothing planned for weekend at the moment so will enjoy myself at gym and cinema unless something else comes up. Also need to do some cleaning though (boo). Hope everyone out there in cyberland has a good time (Jane, don't forget to decide on which shows you want to see). J x

Now got MRI scan (now with improved gadolinium - whatever the hell that is) tomorrow at 1200. The othalmologist has been rescheduled for Friday at 0845. Stoke was a blast. No, really. They should take a stick of dynamite and blast it to kingdom come. What a depressing place. And what a depressing meeting. HMRC is off to hell in a handcart I'm afraid. You heard it here first... J x

Back

Mum still in hospital. She's had an op to clear out the infection from her foot and, after 5 days, they've finally decided what antibiotics she should be on. She's now on a drip for the antibiotics and we don't yet know how long for. She's keeping her spirits up though and thanks everyone for their cards and kind wishes. We've managed to reschedule the Porgy & Bess tickets for April so that's good news. I'm feeling fine but nothing to report chez moi apart from the fact that I've had an appointment through for the opthalmologist and its for tomorrow. When I'm in Stoke. So will have to reschedule that too. Damn. J x

Change of Plans

Mum has had to go into hospital for an operation on her foot. They also want to put her on intravenous antibiotics. Therefore no longer going to London & Brighton but going to Swansea instead. Good job I already had this week booked off for leave. Will know more when I've seen my parents and will blog from Swansea if I get a chance so that you all know what's happening. J x

Phil Lethby

My friend died on Friday. His name was Phil and I met him when I first started working for the Revenue in 1993. We dated for a while but not for long. I like to think that I helped a bit in allowing him to come to terms with his sexuality. Back in the days when I first started in the Revenue Inspectors had their own offices (none of this open plan nonsense) and Phil used to come in a talk to me for ages - so much so that my DI at the time had to give me a ticking off. Phil and I stayed in touch on and off following my departure from Brighton office and, in fact, I think he was a contributor to this blog in the early days. He certainly sent me some cards whilst I was in hospital and going through treatment. He was diagnosed with Hepatitis C about 10 years ago and lived quite happily with the disease for a while but over the last couple of years he had some long spells of sickness. He died on Friday from multiple complications - they don't know exactly what yet. He was in his mid 30s which is far too young for anyone to die. I'll miss him. Rest in peace honey. J x

Open Wide

To the hospital dentist this morning. He says that he could give me dentures if I insist but that having dentures would mean possibly accelerating the decay of the rest of my teeth. Decided therefore not to have them for the moment. Since I can't swallow at the moment, chewing isn't really an issue. I'll reconsider if and when I get my swallow back. The dentist also took an X-ray of my teeth. This showed firstly that the radiotherapy hasn't done too much damage to my jaw bones (the good news) but also showed that another screw appears to have worked loose from the metal piece holding my jaw together (the bad news). Will have to speak to Sean about this. Who was handling the bloody screwderiver in that operating theatre?

Met the lovely newcastlewench for a drink after work as she was passing through this fair city of ours. She's fit and well and had bought me a goody bag of presents (thank you). These included some lovely smelly bath stuff, some pretty stones (I've no idea what I'm going to do with them) some baby food (mostly fruit based so will be nice with custard although one was "cottage pie - not sure I fancy that) and a magazine showing me how to put on muscle in 12 easy steps (well at least i can look at the pictures!).

Also had a letter from my GP saying he'd had a referral from my optician but that he thought the optician was overreacting (how does he know?). Anyway, he didn't think it was worth a referral to the oncologist or opthalmologist. Hadn't the heart to tell him I'd already seen my oncologist and had been given a referral to the opthalmologist (although not heard anything yet). Also had a letter giving me an appointment for an MRI scan which is next Wednesday which is lucky as that is the day I see Frances and the nutritionist too.

And I think that's about everything apart from mentioning my mum who has a bad foot. The blood tests appear to show that she may have Type 2 diabetes. We think she'll go for a second opinion though. I'll keep you posted.

Spoke to DD tonight. She's still feeling a little poorly but better than she was so fingers crossed for her too. And that's your lot folks... J x

The Weekend

Friday night was fun - cancer charity dinner at Urmston masonic hall. What a venue. I've never quite seen anything like it. Food was OK and they'd pureed me something for the main course which was nice of them. Raffle went on for ever and then it was dancing to Urmston's most popular wedding and bar mitzvah DJ. He had it all. Van Morrison. Status Quo. Come on Eileen (and thank you Denise for making me dance to that). Home by oneish after being sandwiched in the back of the car between a very drunk David and a very drunk Cath.

Saturday morning into Cafe Nero to meet up with everyone's favourite retirees, Mr & Mrs T. They are hale (as opposed to Hale) and hearty and speaking in Scottish tongues. Then DD & moi meme did the round of opticians picking up our new glasses topped off with cocktails in Harvey Nicks to celebrate. I had an espresso martini which was just to die for. Then to Manchester Art Gallery to see the Joe Palumbo exhibition. Bit of a waste of time that one as although he had some good ideas furniture-wise and was ahead of his time vis a vis capsule furniture he just didn't design anything that looked nice (and certainly nothing as nice as the leather chesterfield upstairs in Heals). And Burberry isn't open yet. And now its a night in followed by cleaning and dusting tomorrow. Oh and the gym I think. Night night. J x

Phew(ish)

Got to Christies at about 1000 and was seen straight away. Sean had a look at my eye and said that he could feel a "thickening" of the skin at the point of inflammation but that he didn't think it was anything to worry about. He is going to refer me to an opthalmologist (sp?) but he said more for my peace of mind than any concerns he has. He also said that he had never seen my type of cancer spread to the eye before. Charlotte and Frances (who were also there) also both said that they'd never seen my cancer spread to the eye before either (it was at this point that I burst into tears!). So I'm mightily relieved. I hadn't realised (up until I burst into tears) quite how tense I had been about the situation. I'm not celebrating yet - I'll do that when the eye doctor signs off on Sean's diagnosis but i will sleep a little easier from here on in. Thanks to everyone for the brilliant support and sympathy they've given me during this quite difficult week. J x

Caught Myself...

... walking round the flat with one eye closed tonight. Drama queen or what?

Spoke to the lovely lovely Charlotte this afternoon (Caroline's replacement, and yes she's just earned her additional "lovely") and she said I should just turn up at Christies on Thursday and she'll get me in to see someone. Much better than waiting for a referral through the GP I think.

Just out of shower after working out at the gym so feeling all warm and virtuous. J x

Not So Good News

Went to the optician to get my eyes tested today (yes I need glasses but I chose some fantastic Dior ones so you don't need to worry about me looking ugly) but the optician noticed a lump on my eyelid. He's referring me to my GP. He says he thinks its just a bit of inflammation but in view of my medical history he thinks it needs to be checked. Fingers crossed its not a return of the cancer. J x

What a Wonderful World

Had such a good day today. Saw Sean at Christies. After the usual prodding of my neck and peering down my throat he declared himself happy with the way things are looking. I asked him about the high temperature episodes and he said he thought it might have been a chest infection and that we should get an X-ray of my lungs to check they were clear. That worried me a bit but luckily I was able to get the X-ray done there and then and he and some of his colleagues looked at it and said that my lungs were clear. Which was a huge relief. He even managed to joke that "they're all clear apart from a little bit of metal...!" I also asked him about blood tests because I know my Mum used to have them and also whether I should have a scan. He explained that there isn't a blood test for my type of cancer. He had been thinking about getting a scan of my throat so that he could see how things were progressing from the inside and since I'd asked anyway he might as well go ahead and schedule one. So hopefully that will have taken place before my next appointment and those results will be all clear too. He also said that he thought that there was still room for progress on my swallowing because not everything will have settled down from the treatment yet. Phew. That was really encouraging coz I've been getting a bit depressed about that recently.

The lovely lovely Debbie wasn't there today (apparently she's at home watching her kitchen ceiling being pulled down) but the lovely Charlotte was on hand (she gets one lovely for saying I looked fantastic today - and in 32" waist Prada jeans why wouldn't I? - but she's got a way to go yet before she catches up with the lovely lovely Debbie). Also did my computer questionaire for the woman whose name I've forgotten. She comes and sees me every couple of months or so and gets me to fill in this questionaire about how I'm feeling, how much pain I'm in, what problems I'm having etc etc. She also measures how far I can open my mouth - I'm back to the standard I was after the operation but before the radiotherapy but not yet back to the pre-op stage. She asked if I'd had many problems about opening my mouth and I asked whether she was referring to my sex life - poor girl nearly died when I said that but managed to splutter that in fact she was asking about eating and drinking. So why didn't she say that in the first place?

When I got home I had a call from the nutritionist and she's going to come and see me on the same day that I see Frances next (06/03 I think). Everyone thinks I should stop losing weight now so I've been force feeding myself Ensure Pluses all day. I'll be back up to the size of a house in no time...

Went to the gym this afternoon with Denise and had a really good workout so I'm just all round feeling fine and dandy. Back to work tomorrow though so I suppose it'll be back down to earth with a bang. Never mind, I've had a bloody good day today and since they're few and far between lets just celebrate that fact. Night all. J x

Busy Busy Busy

R & G Are Dead at the Library Theatre on Monday night. Strange but good. Wouldn't mind seeing it again just to see if I got it all. Gym last night with Denise (supposed to go again tonight but she wimped out). All this whilst holding down a full time job! Day off tomorrow to go and see Young Sean. that'll be nice. Not seen him for ages. Have acquired Moon Tiger (and started reading it) as I intend attending the next book club meet. Not seen most of them since before the op. They'll have no idea who I am... J x

Mrs T Rocks

Had a fantastic weekend with the T. She had brought her white gloves but confined herself to her impressions of Michael Jackson rather than Kim and Aggie. She's looking well and enjoying life North of civilisation (boo). She joined us during the darts match (I was out first round) and Dave and Wayne ended up winning. Wayne will now be (even more) insufferable for the rest of the year...

The Vortex was very good in a Noel Coward sort of way. Will Young was impressive and very very pretty. Although he does have rather large hips. Went to Chez Gerrard for a drink afterwards. Saturday was even more glamorous as we went to Lakeland Plastics for lunch followed by John Lewis and Sainsburys. Then watched World Trade Centre (very good) and Acorn Antiques (hysterical) on DVD. I have to say though that I think I preferred the version of AA that I saw on the stage. It seemed more coherent somehow (and obviously not as long). The DVD version was a bit too "West End" if anything can be said to be that.

Had a high temperaturs again on Saturday (3rd time now). May be something to do with the long day I had on Friday where I may have overdone things but I'm seeing Sean on Thursday so I'll check things out with him. Hopefully its not a sign of returning cancer...

Tried to book for Patrick Stewart in The Tempest in London but the dates agreed with Donna and Sarah have all sold out. Boo. There is a version coming to the Royal Exchange in Manchester so might go and see that instead. J x

Great Film

Judy Dench is stunning in this film. As is Cate Blanchett. And the schoolboy is dead horny (and before you have a go at me for being pervy, Jane fancied him too). Went to Chez Gerrard (again) before the film and had soup and ice cream (again). Will have to try another restaurant for soup and ice cream whilst Mrs T is here. If anyone knows of any restaurants that do particularly nice (and not too solid) soups and/or (although preferably and) nice ice cream can they please recommend them here. Ta.

Busy day tomorrow. Work in the am, darts tournament in the pm and The Vortex with the lovely (and over the age of consent) Will Young in the evening. All this and keeping the flat up to those exhausting T standards. Phew, I'm exhausted just reading about it. Must dash as I've forgotten to dust the tops of the doors... J x

Seven and Three Quarters

That's how many hours I worked today. The longest ever. Whoo hoo. Isn't full time work a pain in the arse? All that and then I have to come home and start cleaning ready for the arrival of Madame La T and her deadly white dust gloves of shame on Friday. Oooh, I can feel her cotton clad finger running along my cornices as I type... It'll be nice to see her though. J x

Wise Words Of Willie Nelson

"Before you say something bad about someone, you should first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get pissed off, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes". And who can say fairer than that?

Jane, will try the lasagne on Wednesday but don't worry starters and ice cream are fine anyway.

Fig, I should have phoned and thanked you, a thousand apologies. Have received DVD but not yet watched it. Will probably watch it this weekend in company of Mrs T. J x

Hello Campers

I've had to reconfigure the blog so that I sign in through Google (or something like that, I'm not too sure) so I apologise if anyone has any problems accessing it from now on. Actually this might be a good point to discuss whether or not I keep up with the blog at all. As I'm sure you've all noticed I don't post as much as I used to and this is mainly because there isn't as much news as there used to be. Perhaps we should have a discussion about closing the blog down - the anniversery of it starting might be the appropriate moment.

Anyway, what have I been up to recently? Well I'll be back at work full time from Monday. This isn't because I particularly feel up to it but I really can't face filling out any more of the ridiculous forms that HR demand of me. I think the forms are one of their "incentives" to get people back on full time. That and paying people's annual leave at sick leave rates. Don't even get me started....

Went out for a meal last night. A HUGE step. Unfortunately it wasn't as successful as I'd hoped. I managed the starter (french onion soup) and the deseert (ice cream) but just couldn't manage the main course (penne arrabiata) because even though the kitchens had overcooked the pasta at my request it was just too big to swallow. The pasta I'm cooking myself at home is really tiny and even that causes me problems sometimes. I'm just going to have to find something with a lot of sauce so that I can at least manage the sauce if nothing else. The lasagne at Chez Gerrard looked like it might fit the bill. We'll see. Denise and I then went to Opus One for a drink before heading off home in the sub-zero temperatures.

During yesterday afternoon Denise and I had trawled round the Northern Quarter for books and curtains before a coffee at ILVA before Denise headed off for the match. Was supposed to be going for a walk with Denise this faternoon in Heaton Park but had an attack of dizziness and high temperature during the night and so don't want to take any chances today. It was exactly the same as the time before so I'll have to try and work out what's triggering it. Maybe its just if I try to do too much in one day. Will also mention it to Sean next time I see him just in case its anything significant. Can't see that my blood pressure (the dizziness) would be affected by cancer though...

Mrs T arriving next Friday for a couple of nights. We're off to The Vortex (with that lovely Will Young chap) after darts at Wayne's tournament (I'm expecting to be out first round as I was once beaten in a dart's match by someone who was registered blind). Before that I'm off to the cinema on Wednesday to see Notes on a Scandal with Jane & Bill which looks very good. Heard from Lizzy this week, she's just got a job as head of HR at The Dorchester in London so she'll be off to pastures new soon. I'll miss her.

So let me know whather you want me to keep up with this site albeit on a less frequent basis... J x

Film

Had a good night's sleep on Thursday night and felt better Friday morning but though that discretion was the better part of valour so didn't attempt work. Lounged around all day Friday (apart from a walk to the doctor's) and my temperature came right down to normal. Went to the cinema with Jim Saturday night - The Last King of Scotland. A film about Idi Amin. Have since looked him up on Wikipedia and a lot of the film it turns out is fictional. However the film is probably truthful when it deals with the brutality of the regime and the sheer scariness of Amin himself. Quite bloodthirsty in places. Then for a drink on Canal Street. Went to chemists this morning to pick up the prescription I'd left on Friday (they don't stock the quantities of drugs I need!) but it was closed. Will have to go tomorrow. Had 3 ginger nuts dunked in coffee this morning. Progress of sorts... J x

Cough Cough

Went to the gym last night but had to leave early as I felt unwell - dizzy and a bit groggy. Developed a temperature last night too (38.5). Denise called round after the gym (despite having hampers of ironing to do) to look after me. Dosed myself up on paracetomol and brufen though and managed to have a good night's sleep. Feel much better this morning but don't want to risk anything so will stay at home today (although will need to pop to the chemist and the doctor as I need a prescription filled). Hopefully will feel even better tomorrow as am supposed to be going to the cinema with Jim. Haven't decided what we're going to see yet. Will keep you updated on health position. J x

Catch Up

So where was I? Oh yes, went to London on Saturday to stay with my lovely friend Sarah. We met up with our lovely friend Donna and went shopping in all the posh shops on new Bond Street - Fahri, Burberry, Vuitton, Dolce, Armani (Collezioni obviously not Emporio) etc. Saw a lovely pair of Vuitton trainers but they didn't have my size unfortunately. Will either need to source them in Manchester or pay a visit next time I'm in London. Resolved to go and see Patrick Stewart in The Tempest in Stratford on Avon (which reminds me, I'm supposed to be sorting that out). In the evening went to see Avenue Q (a musical featuring muppets) which was a lot better than it sounds. Ever seen muppets having sex? Its not a pretty sight...

Sunday off to Brighton to stay with John and Conor. Didn't do a lot while I was there just sort of hung out and chilled (easy since it was very chilly) which was nice. Back to Manchester on Tuesday and then to see the speech therapist Wednesday morning. Didn't feel as upbeat as I normally do when I've seen Frances in the past but then I think I'm coming to the limits of what I am likely to be able to eat in the future i.e. I don't think I will ever fully recover my swallowing abilities. Which is a shame but at least I'm alive (which is the upside). Anyway will see what the dentist says (I've an appointment soon) and also Sean since the Aged Ps are demanding that I get a second opinion.

Thursday morning was spent in Stockport. Honestly you wouldn't believe the size of their desks. They're huge. Got back to Manchester about 10 minutes ago so I'm going to have some lunch now and its not really worth going back into work now so I'll just chill until Denise drags me to the gym tonight. J x

Gosh Its Windy

Came home for lunch and have decided not to go back. Nearly got blown off my feet walking home (I don't seem to have as much gravity as I once did). Plus with bits blowing off the office block opposite my building it could be a dangerous area to be in. So I'm home, doing paperwork and paying bills. J x

Full Time Is Exhausting

Was on a training course in Stockport today. This meant leaving the house at 0800 and not returning until 1700 plus I only got a half hour for lunch. I'm knackered so will not be going to beginners yoga tonight (in any case its Ashtanga which I believe is quite a vigorous yoga so perhaps not quite the sort I'm looking for -I want one that improves flexibility). The good thing about the trip to Stockport however was that it showed me that I can get through the day without a syringe by my side - drinking all painkillers and nutritional supplements. Perhaps I won't need to come home from work every lunchtime from now on which could mean that I'll be back on full time sooner than I thought (work won't be as intense as this training course - it was a 2 day course delivered in one day: Mrs T should be expecting a telephone call from me any day now since I understood very little of the course and she did it when you had 2 days!).

Anyway, got to get on booking Porgy & bess for the Aged Ps. TTFN. J x

How Long Have You Got?

Its been a while since I've updated this so I'd make a nice cup of tea and maybe treat myself to a biscuit if I were you while you settle down to read this entry. If you're reading this in work on a Monday morning I'd make sure the calendar was free until lunchtime... So pin back your lugholes, here we go.

Fig came up to stay last weekend. He arrived Friday lunchtime and Friday night we went to Leicester to see The Wizard of Oz. Who knew Leicester was so far away? We'd allowed ourselves pleanty of time to get there but since we ran out of petrol and had to stop to fill up and then got lost in Leicester city centre we only made it to the theatre with 5 minutes to spare - not even time to pre-order interval drinks! The show was very good though and Ceri (as the wicked witch of the west) was very good. Not green at all and very glamourous. Still managed to get booed by everyone though. So no change there from his normal shows... the rest of the cast were superb and, we thought, that the production was very good (but see later under Leeds). Had a few problems getting home as well since both Manchester slip roads off the M6 were closed for who knows what reason and we had to eventually go via the M62. Got home absolutley knackered about 0100.

On Saturday we went shopping in the morning. Quite successfully since Fig bought a pair of jeans, some shoes and a watch and I bought a pair of Prada trainers. Saturday afternoon we went to The Lowry to see Acorn Antiques which was just about the funniest thing I've seen on stage in a long time. The cast were excellent and the really good thing was that they'd changed the show quite radically from its West End debut (where Fig had already seen it, without inviting me but that's another story and I'm not bitter at all) so it was like seeing a new show for Fig too. Later on Saturday night we met up with Jim and went drinking in the Village ending up in everyone's favourite tranny bar, Napoleon's. Got home, no idea what time but quite late.

Sunday saw us meeting up with Jim again and trooping off to The Opera House to see Snow White. A more traditional pantomime. The sets and costumes were fantastic although some of the cast left a bit to be desired. The dwarves were wonderful though. Then it was back home for a late lunch and out again to the Village ending up in everyone's favourite tranny bar, Napoleon's.

Fig went home Monday and then it was back to work for me Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday averaging around 6 and a half hours a day. Also went to the gym on Tuesday and Wednesday nights with Denise. Which made me feel very virtuous.

This Friday I met up with Jim, Patrick, Paul, David, Gordon & Lizzie after they'd had a meal in Villagio for Jim's birthday and we all went out drinking in the Village ending up in everyone's favourite tranny bar, Napoleon's. Didn't get home until 0230.

Then was up dead early to catch a train to Leeds to meet Sarah. We went for a coffee and a natter and then did the sales - Westwood (you were right Gordon, its not as big as Manchester) etc ending up in Harvey Nichols (natch) where I bought a Prada belt and jacket. Back to Sarah's for lunch which is when I discovered that I'd forgotten to bring a syringe with me so had to drink my Ensure Pluses which I hadn't been able to manage before because they're quite thick (its all those vitamins and nutrients) and tends to just clag (is that a word?) round my mouth. Luckily though I've now discovered that I can drink them with not too much trouble. This allied with the fact that I can drink soluble painkillers means, in theory, that I can now get rid of the tube in my stomach. Hurrah. I won't be doing it anytime soon though as its like a comfort blanket for me at the moment. After watching some rugby with Huw (Sarah's partner) which is interesting mainly because the players wear shorter shorts than footballers we went to The West Yorkshire Playhouse (via some cocktails in a nearby hostelery) to see the Wixard of Oz. This production knocked Leicester into a cocked hat (sorry Fig). It was superb as were the cast (apart, perhaps, from the cowardly lion who was perhaps not as strong as Leicester's). Caught the tarin back to Manchester afterwards and got home about midnight.

Then had Sue & Kev round this morning for a coffee. They're both well and looking mighty fine (Mrs T is losing weight) and enjoying themselves in the barren wastelands of the North East. It doesn't look as though I'll be persuading them to move back to Manchester anytime soon. They've already started looking at properties and have seen a couple that they like and are within their price range. Boo hoo. They send their regards to everyone they know.

Have just spoken to DD and we're off to the gym this afternoon. This evening I shall be collapsing on the sofa and not answering the phone. And that's your lot. Phew. What a busy time I've been having. Hope its not so long next time between posts. TTFN. J x

Christies visit

Saw Young Sean this morning. Also saw the lovely lovely Debbie (albeit briefly). News from the antipodes is that Caroline has arrived safely but has yet to build her house. No-one seemed to know whether or not she was watching the cricket. YS said that everything was fine and nothing to worry about. He thanked me for the Xmas hamper and said that no other patient had sent him a gift like this in the past. What is wrong with these people? YS and his team save lives. Perhaps I should have done a present to the team? I'm sure he shared it with them anyway... Also saw Mr (Dr?) Ho and his indecently tight trousers. Ho by name...

Missed the start of CBB last night (gasp) but this was because I was engrossed in Series 3 of Six Feet Under (I had the DVD for Xmas). Have had to quickly visit Amazon and order Series 4 and 5 now as its so good. Will catch up on CBB tonight. Apparently H from Steps has come out. I was so surprised I nearly turned straight...! J x

Happy New 2007

The casino was fun. Lost £60 (but since this was less than I'd won on the lottery - £68 - it wasn't too bad). The place was quite busy with lots of people who looked like they might be clients of HMRC and yet would sit across a desk from you and tell you that they never smoked or drank or went out much less gambled... the amounts of money being gambled were obscene. I apparently sat next to Tyrone from Coronation Street whilst playing blackjack but had no idea who he was. Got home about 0130 which wasn't too bad. Had a text from DD saying she was home at 0400....!

Might go out for a drink on Canal Street tonight. Don't know yet. And then its down to some serious cleaning for the arrival of Madame La Fig.

Just heard from DD. She's just got up (I know!) and is now off to the match (Everton apparently). Will meet her later for a drink as well. J x

Back In The Land Of Boddie

Well Xmas has gone and I have once more migrated North with the caribou looking for fresh pasture. Xmas was good, saw lots of people I haven't seen for ages and they're all fine and dandy which is nice. The Aged Ps are well and enjoyed their Xmas too. For Xmas lunch I had parsnips, roast potatoes, stuffing, bread sauce and cranberry sauce all mashed together and covered in gravy. It was like nectar of the Gods. Not easy to eat it must be said but it tasted divine. Also had bolognaise sauce whilst in Swansea so the week was a succession of "firsts". Had DVDs and CDs for Xmas along with National Trust membership and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Hurrah.

Off to the gym at 0900 tomorrow morning with DD so we'll see who faints first (I suspect it will be me!). Then to the casino on NYE. I'm fairly sure I'll have to go and find something new to wear in the sales. I'll report back once a purchase has been made. J x

Can One Tattoo Over A Scar?

Just a thought... J x

Its That Time Of Year

Christmas Competition

Ok this is for charity so pay attention. For every person who responds to this posting I will put £1 in a jam jar. Your response should include your favourite christmas(ish) quote and the details of your favourite charity. Come the New Year I'll read through all the quotes and decide which is my favourite (I'll also give my reasons and feedback for the unsuccessful quotes where required). All the money in the jam jar (once the jam has been hosed off- ho ho ho) will be donated to the winner's charity. Clear? Then get posting. For all you posting virgins out there who just read the blog and never comment this is your excuse to sign up and get blogging. Merry Christmas everybody. J x

Scarred For Life

Went to the scar clinic today. What a depressing place Wythenshawe hospital is. And the staff, don't get me started. However, the doctors were nice and, apparently, I saw two of the top plastic surgeons in the country. Unfortunately there isn't a great deal they can do for my scars. They do think, however, that they will get better and less obvious over time. So I had some photos done and they're going to leave me for 6 months during which I have to wear a tube bandage on my arm. This applies pressure to the scar which apparently makes it disappear. No but seriously, it does flatten the scar and cause the red colour to diminish. If there is not much change after 6 months they'll see what can be done with my arm although there would be disadvantages to having further surgery i.e. further scarring! So its a question of wait and see on the scars. Not done much else today. Had a lovely long sleep last night though. And don't forget, its only a couple more days before the year turns and the evenings and mornings start getting lighter again. That's me for you. Always looking on the bright side... J x

Party On Dude

So went to the party. Which was in Whalley Range (honestly, I didn't know such places existed). But in a nice part of Whalley Range. House was huge (three sitting rooms!). Packed to the rafters with gay men, most of whom I'd never met before. Sounds like heaven? And it would have been at one time except I found myself strangely self concious. Gay people are just so damn judgemental (and I include myself in this). At one point everyone gathered round the piano and sang carols. Only I couldn't join in because I had no idea what my singing voice would sound like. Do you realise I haven't sung along to anything (not even in the shower when I tend to be thinking about work - remember that Bob?) since the operation. Rest assured I have been singing today and it sounds OK - or at least as OK as it ever did. Gordon & Lizzie were there (as was Jim) and it was great to see them all again so I enjoyed myself actually. I was just surprised by my own reactions to a large crowd. Didn't get home until well after midnight. Dirty stop out!

Went to the gym this morning and did a workout which was cool. Now have my own programme to follow which I'm supposed to do 3 times a week but I don't suppose I'll fully get into it until after Xmas now.

Called round to DDs after the gym and then took her Christmas booze shopping (she filled 5 carrier bags) and then went back to bed this afternoon. Watched Hogfather (disappointing) and Lost (cliffhanger as per but we don't get to see any new episodes until February - bastards). Anyway, happy holidays everyone. J x

Hours & Hours

Did 5 and three quarter hours on Friday. My longets day since the op. Let me tell you about that day...

Wake up in morning take painkillers and nutrition. Walk through rain to work. Work. Walk through rain to go home at lunchtime. Painkillers and nutrition. Fall asleep on sofa for half an hour. Walk through rain back to work. Work. Walk through rain back home. Painkillers and nutrition. Walk through rain to gym. Do gym induction. Wlak through rain back home. Exhausted. And wet.

Off to a party tonight with Jim and Gordon & Lizzy. No idea who is throwing the party but they're obviously people after my own heart since they have a theme. Everyone has to take a Christmas decoration that is somehow related to Alice in Wonderland. What a good idea...

Back to gym Sunday morning to find out what sort of training programme they have worked out for me... J x

Casino Royale

The casino is to die for darlings. We'll be spending our NYE there for sure.

Met up with Jacky (newcastlewench) on Tuesday evening. Went to The Living Room for a drink and a catch up. She'd bought me a whistle thing with a plunger that makes noises like the clangers for Xmas. Just what I always wanted... Now where is that pesky soup dragon?

Then off to a director's meeting for the building. Walking through Manchester city centre at 1800 with all the hustle and bustle of people shopping and leaving work and going out for drinks took me right back to the good old days of leaving work at that time. I got quite nostalgic. Anyway, I'll soon be back there as did my first 6 hour day today (3 hours in the morning followed by a 2 hour lunch - snoozed for half an hour - and then 3 hours in the afternoon). I think it will work out OK.

Have had to postpone my gym induction until Friday as its the social club Xmas do tomorrow and I can't miss that (even though the buffet will be beyond my reach - oh for the days when I was first in the queue...). J x

Joined The Gym

Which means Denise gets £20 or something. Anyway, we're treating it as an excuse to go to Manchester's newest casino for cocktails on Wednesday.

So Long, Farewell, Auf veidersein (sp?) Goodbye

The Aged Ps have departed the banks of the Medlock and set sail for sunny Wales. It'll only be 12 days before I see them again so the farewells were not too tearful. We spent yesterday morning at The Lowry (theatre not hotel). The current exhibitions are good (if you like Lowry the painter, which I don't) and excellent if you like football (which I do a bit but I thought the 2 exhibitions - photographs from the World Cup and general "art" on the subject of football for some competition or other were out of this world and well worth a visit). Then a quick mince round the mall before hopping on a tram and back to the executive suite at the Hilton. Honestly you needed to prise them out of there with a crowbar and, indeed, most of yesterday afternoon was spent there. Considering the weather yesterday though this was no bad thing. They went off to Choice for their evening meal last night but were disappointed by the "small and ordinary" menu. I stayed home and watched Lost. Not the most exciting episode ever (is anyone remotely interested in Africa?) but it sets Jack up for an exciting op in the future. Do we believe that woman who looks like his ex-wife? Hmmm....

Hoping to join the gym this afternoon and then its back to work tomorrow. J x

P.P.P.S

Seeing newcastlewench on Tuesday (she's packed her gun and headed off for manchesterford on the slow train) so if anyone wants me to give her a hug or anything then just let me know (although I'll be giving her a hug anyway whether you want me to or not). J x

Shopped & Dropped

Harvey Nicks and Selfridges (natch). Boots on account of my father managing to lose his glasses last night despite having them firmly tied round his neck. And then the Christmas market which (and I've no idea how it happened) completely underwhelmed my parents. I think its all that high living (and high drinking) in the executive lounge. It's gone to their heads.

So they've all buggered off to Albert's Shed leaving me to fend for myself (lentil curry puree followed by black cherry yoghurt followed by ibuprofen) and so it's an early night for me.

Off to The Lowry tomorrow (the theatre not the an hotel) and I'll let y'all know how it goes. Nighty nighty. J x

Updating...

Thursday night: to Dimitris (where else?) to celebrate la DD's birthday. She was there, resplendant as ever along with her posse (does she ever travel without them?). Including a new model type. Very pretty. Although I notice we only got his box in the newspaper... (answers on a postcard to Keith Chegwin...)

Friday and the physiotherapy reassessment went very well (although exhausting). I'd improved in all categories (did you doubt it even for a minute?) and even broke a few records. Must have been helped by the very attractive young intern from Stoke who was just along to help out!

Friday also and the Aged P's et leurs amis sont arrivent. Their rooms (or should I give them their proper titles, their executive suites) are tres belles (they were on offer though). Since they are staying in executive suites they have access to the executive lounge which is on the 23rd floor next to the bar. Except you don't have to queue. Nor do you have to suffer the hoi polloi. And pre dinner drinks from 5 till 8 are free. Yes, you read it here first. Free alcohol. Needless to say the Aged Ps are in seventh heaven and vowing never to stay with me again. Took them on a walking tour of Manchester's Xmas lights (v impressed natch) and then dropped them off at Livebait for their dinner. Everyone had had an exhausting day so I didn't come back into town to meet them after dinner (mine was pureed bombay potatoes - yum, followed by vanilla youghurt and a paracetomol). Watched unanimous (what a bunch of bastards they all are) and then went to bed. Having taken my ibuprofen at 2130 last night I slept until 0730 this morning. 10 hours without painkillers. That's the longest I've been for about a year which was very encouraging.

Shopping today but I'll update you on that tomorrow... J x

Here I Am

Had a quiet (on the whole) weekend with John. We did some Xmas shopping - I bought myself an Armani jacket and he bought me a book (Wintersmith since you ask). He also bought himself some pants. D & G though darling...

Went to see the new Bond which is terrific. Really enjoyed it and I'm not at all a Bond fan normally. Also watched some DVDs - Pirates of the Carribean (II being better than I in my opinion), Sin City (fantastic photography if a little gory) and something else that I've forgotten about already. No late night partying at all I'm afraid.

Saw DD tonight in the Fat Cat. She's fine and dandy and looking forward to being ** years old on Thursday. Spoke to Mrs T (like the new "Mine's a wine" name though) and she's fine and dandy too as is the redoubtable Mr T. Apparently he's about to buy a kilt.

Aged P's arrive on Friday with their friends from Swansea. They're all staying in the Hilton (on upper floors apparently) and I can't wait to see what the rooms are like. They've already booked restaurants for the 3 nights they're here so I'll only be seeing them during daylight hours.... J x

See, Not Very Exciting

Yesterday. Went to work, came home, fell asleep on sofa, watched "...Celebrity..." went to bed. How exciting is that? Which is why I no longer post every day.

Off to a conference though this morning (oooh, very exciting) all about Risk. And now you've all fallen asleep again...

John arrives this afternoon for the weekend. It'll be good to see him again. Not decided what we're going to do yet (well, not all the time anyway). Might go and see the new Bond film. Might do some Xmas shopping. Might get drunk (although this latter is likely to take a long time at the rate of one bottle of beer per hour).

Have decided to send Young Sean a hamper from Harvey Nicks for Xmas to thank him for keeping me alive this year. J x

History Schmistory

Went to see The History Boys at The Lowry. What a marvelous and, in places, unexpected play. We were in one of the upper circles but given the lay out of The Lowry still had a good view of the stage apart from the screen at the back. The Lowry had rather thoughtfully provided 2 small televisions to compensate for not being able to see the screen but it wasn't quite the same...

Went for a drink with Denise to The Deansgate afterwards. Despite the refurb its still as rough as ever so we only had one. Spent Sunday cleaning and putting up Xmas decorations ready for John's arrival on Friday.

Sorry I haven't been making daily entries to the blog but really its because my life is pretty boring at the moment. Not because I'm whizzing around doing all sorts of exciting things. Even the medical appointments are dropping off now. Have decided that I'm better leaving yoga until after Xmas though as there's too much present shopping to do. Will see about joining the gym before Xmas though. Or perhaps I'll just go along to a line dancing class? J x

Saturday

Had my last physiotherapy class yesterday. I've really enjoyed the classes and I'm sure they've done me some good in terms of strength and stamina. Have a reassessment in a fortnight so I'll be able to see whether they have or not. Then saw Frances . Only saw her a fortnight ago so yesterday's appointment was really just to check up that I'm managing the semi-solids OK - which I seem to be apart from mashed potato. Not quite sure why I can't manage mash but it somehow seems too "sticky". Anyway, all the other stuff I manage to puree seems to be going down alright although not without effort. Beer seems to be happening a bit easier now as well - I can manage a bottle in under an hour! Whoopee. Will now see Frances again after the New Year.

Had my haircut and have decided to try growing it a bit longer than I have had it in the past. Hopefully this will distract from the lump on my neck...

Off to the theatre tonight with Denise and her posse to see The History Boys. She thinks its the same cast as is in the film but I'm not so sure...

Have decided to take up yoga (as recommended by my physiotherapist) so if anyone knows of any good classes, please let me know. Apparently I need to start with Hatha Yoga which is a nice gentle one rather than Ashtanga which is quite vigorous. Am also considering joining a gym (again) but actually going this time... J x

Home Early

Left work early today as could not face the pain of "moving day". Apparently all the computers have been put back in the wrong place. left them to it. It also didn't help that my painkillers were in my crate which I couldn't unpack until I knew what desk I was going to be sitting at.

Walked round the shops on Sunday. There was a geek alert in force outside the G-Mex as there was a Collector's Fair on with the personal appearance of "stars" from minor cable channel sci-fi shows. This allied with the fact that there were 2 storm troopers on the doors was enough to guaranteee that outside was knee deep in acne and anoraks. Harvey Nicks was also chock-a-block but with a much better class of customer sweetie. The Christms Market is the usual array of wooden German toys and food stalls selling all manner of unpronounceable wares.

Met Denise for a drink on Saturday (Dimitris, where else?). She was in a good mood because of City's win. Afterwards met Jim for a drink on Canal Street (my first drink on Canal Street for over 8 months). Nothing had changed there. Still as grimy and dirty as ever. All it would take is one upmarket place with a cleaner and all the other places would be out of business...

Am having to dealy my physiotherapy assessment as have been asked to attend a Risk Conference (its not anywhere exciting). Should be fun though. J x

Medical Visits

To Christies this morning to see Young Sean. He's looking well and chipper. The lovely lovely Debbie was with him too. Who needed anyone else? YS was happy with the way things are looking. Had still not heard from dentist so YS said he'd write to him (was this not done first time round?). The lovely lovely Debbie had held up her end of the bargain though because I have a referral to the scar clinic for the 19 December and she'd even managed to come up with a couple of the very expensive (thank you) plasters for me to try on my arm. I'll let y'all know if they do any good.

To MRI this afternoon to see Laura the physiotherapist (the one for for my back and my shoulder). She's also very happy with the way things have gone and she thinks there is nothing left she can teach me. So I'm to keep on keeping on with the exercises she's given me and good luck and merry christmas. So that was good news too. I'm still at the Friday classes though for another 3 weeks. J x

Mash & Daal

Sunday lunch was a bit of a disaster. I thought I'd made the mash quite runny but even so as soon as I put it in my mouth it was like trying to eat sawdust. It just felt so dry and once it was at the back of my throat trying to swallow it was virtually impossible. So after much choking I had to throw it away. Did manage 2 beers though - I'm down to about a beer an hour now.

Had a lentil daal for tea tonight. I heated it in a saucepan and added water and then pureed it using my new hand held blender. It was, I think, about the same consistency as the mash yesterday (although I used a spoon to eat it I could have easily used a fork) but for some reason it was much easier to eat and I managed to finish it all. Hurrah. Progress.

Watch this space for further pureed culinary delights.... J x

Shopping Is So Much Fun

Went shopping for semi-solids today. Had a full shopping trolley - the first time in over 8 months. Tried a chocolate mousse this afternoon (a bit claggy and had to have a cup of hot tea to wash it all down) and am having mashed potatoes, peas, pureed carrots and brown sauce for Sunday lunch! Also bought one of those hand held blenders so am expecting to have kitchen walls decorated with half pureed carrots tomorrow.

I lied about it being the last ever time I would see Mrs T since I'm going to the cinema with her tonight (Marie Antoinette) so tonight will be the last ever time...

DD is off to the wilds of Richmond (which is in Yorkshire apparently rather than on the Thames). Hope its warmer there than it is here. Bloody freezing. Aged Ps are safely back from Portugal (where it rained all the time) and they're coming up with their friends to stay at the Hilton in December.

Seeing Sean next week which will be nice although I've still heard nothing from the scar clinic. Charlotte (the new Caroline) assures me I've been referred though so its not as if she's falling into Caroline's old ways and simply forgetting me... Also seeing Laura who is muy other physiotherapist (specifically for my back and shoulder). I think she's doing some good and my back may be improving slightly. Managed to sleep for 7 hours the other night without waking up for painkillers which is a first since I left hospital.

That's all for now. TTFN. J x

Oh What A Perfect Day (So Far)

Met DD for coffee first thing at Caffe Nero on Oxford Road followed by physiotherapy where I was put up to Level 4 (the highest level) so I must be doing something right. There was also one old biddie and one new guy (younger than me!) there today so I wasn't all on my own. Also Hannah was one of the physios and we like her.

Then saw Frances who says its still too early to say how far my swallow will develop. I think this is encouraging becasue I was beginning to worry that it might not develop much further than it has to date. She's said that i should now move onto "semi-solids" (doesn't that sound appetising!). This includes mashed up vegetables, fish in sauce, scrambled eggs (but I don't eat eggs) and cuury sauces. So will go shopping tomorrow for a whole new larder...

Frances also said that I can keep my tummy tube as long as I want to which is good news since its become a sort of a comfort blanket for me. I'd hate to think of life without it at the moment. Its just so much easier to put painkillers and the Ensure Plus through it at the moment than it is to try and drink them.

Went to see the Xmas lights tuned on yesterday with Mr and Mrs T. Simon Webb was crap. John Savident was crap (the man has no idea how to improvise so I've no idea what he'll be like in panto, I say, I've no idea what he'll be like in panto!) even the 7 bloody dwarves were crap. And as for the mayor, don't even get me started... However the much anticipated "Mamma Mia Firework Finale" was worth all the hype. It was spectacular. Afterwards we walked down Deansgate to see the lights there but they'd forgotten to turn those on!

Seeing Mr & Mrs T for the last time evr tomoprrow. Its going to be emotional.... J x

I'm Back!

At last. The man from Sky has been and twiddled my knobs and I'm back. God I've missed the internet.

Anyway, not a huge amount has happened since I was last here. Went to Chatsworth to see the sculptures (very nice - have some photos I'll try and post). Saw The Devil Wears Prada - enjoyed. Have had 2 physiotherapy sessions - on my own, I think I scared all the old biddies away. My back is playong up a bit, don't know why but still on the painkillers. And that's about it.

Sorry to hear about your friend Roger. Its a terrible thing when someone takes their own life, particularly when you don't know the reason and don't know whether there was anything you could have done to help. I'm thinking of you. J x

Gormley? Where?

Got to Crosby only to find that the tide was in. Not a bleeding figure to be seen anywhere! We therefore diverted to Southport to have a look round the shops and a cup of coffee. When we got back to Crosby some 2 hours later the tide had gone out somewhat which allowed us to stroll along the beach (well, those of us not in heels strolled whereas those of us in heels had a rather harder time of it) and examine figure number 13 and figure number 9 in close up. I shall endeavour to post a photo of our intrepid troupe with figure number 13. It was also pouring with rain by this time. Still, all in all a good day out methinks. Fell asleep on the sofa upon my return immediately after taking painkillers. J x

My Physiotherapy Hell

Actually, it wasn't that bad although it was quite tough. We (me and various old ladies) had to do a circuit of 10 different exercises at a level between one and four (depending on your own fitness) doing one minute on each exercise. We had to do the circuit twice so that was 20 minutes of exercise not counting the warm up and warm down. I was OK on the exercises that involved my legs (all that walking has clearly helped) but I was hopeless when it came to the upper body exercises - particularly those involving my right shoulder. Clearly quite a bit of work needed there. The physiotherapists were very nice and helpful though (as were the old ladies).

Had some ice cream last night but it tatsted of nothing although I did, on the whole, manage to swallow it OK. Will try some soup tonight.

Saw Mrs T this week (she's fine - we're off to Crosby on Sunday to see the Gormley statues before they're shipped to New York). Spoke to Denise tonight who is just back from another holiday (in Italy). She had a nice time and the weather was good. Got Sky calling round tomorrow to convert me from AOL to their broadband although I think I may still keep the same e-mail address. I'll let you know.

Have a good weekend everybody. J x P.S. Think I'll do 4 mornings nest week and see how I cope with that. P.P.S. Would like to thank Fig for the gift of a book - To The Devil - A Diva. Sounds intriguing. Lets hope it lives up to Cowboys... J x

Me? Swallow?

Did the barium swallow with no problems. It doesn't taste particularly nice but it doesn't make you retch either. Its worse when mixed with chocolate mousse (which I also had to swallow). Frances was quite pleased with the results and has told me that I can now move onto semi-solids - soup, yoghurt and ice cream. This is where the weight loss ends!

Caroline has now gone to Australia (she flew last Tuesday). Expect a posting from her letting us know she arrived safely any minute... J x

And So I'm Back...

...from outer space.

Friday: after hours of delay (fog) finally arrive at Gatwick where I'm met by John. Spend very pleasant afternoon strolling along the seafront and round the shops (Brighton has loads of independant shops that you won't find anywhere else). Its really good to see him again but I'm knackered by the evening and so retire to my hotel.

Saturday: meet Figgy (and Mark who'd come along to say hello) at the station and off up to London to see Wicked. Show is just Fabulous with a capital f. Idina Menzel (who plays the wicked witch) has an incredible voice. Manage to drink one third of a G & T before pouring remainder into Fig's glass. Poor Fig has to drink three and two thrids gins as we'd already ordered interval drinks. I can report that he struggled manfully. Then back to Brighton but because I'm too knackered we are unable to go out round the bars waving our programmes for all to see (this is what we usually do and we get ignored by everyone but it doesn't matter because we think we're important).

Sunday: round to Figs house to watch him and his Mum and Dad and Mark eating lunch. We then go for a stroll along the sea front in glorious weather and settle in one of the sea front bars drinking and listening to the buskers. In the evening I watch Dirty Dancing (fab) and Prime Suspect (even fabber) from my hotel bed!

All in all a fantastic weekend marred only by the flight delays both ways.

Got a barium swallow at 0930 tomorrow (so Jane, if you're reading this I won't be in work first thing although I'll come along once evrything's been done) and also need to pick up the letter saying its OK for me to start work.

Food finally arrived tonight. Hurrah.

And that's all folks. J x

Last Post...

... before Brighton.

Had physiotherapy this morning. Exhausting. This session focussed on my general fitness and stamina. In order to do that they needed to know how fit I am now. So I had to do various tests before, during and after which they would measure my pulse, blood pressure etc. Even had to do the bleep test which is knackering. Anyway, turns out that I'm not totally unfit although they still recommend that I do a course of 6 weekly exercise classes which they run. So that's every Friday morning for the next 6 weeks. Unable to make it into work after the workout (nothing to do with a "night on the town" thank you Ms Murray).

Had a call this afternoon from Debbie (a nurse at Christies). Instead of just giving me a gel for my scars they're referring me to a scar clinic at Wythenshawe hospital where I get assessed by a consultant plastic surgeon. Apparently they won't do my nose at the same time...

Bloody food delivery people have cocked up my food delivery (again). Not being delivered until Monday now. Luckily I have enough food (just) to last.

Leaving for the airport at 8 tomorrow morning so this will be my last posting until I get back. Have a nice weekend everyone. J x

Busy Busy Busy

Another v busy day. Work from 0715 until 1145 (walked there and back) followed by a trip to the GP (walked there and back) to obtain letter allowing me to start back at work. The went to Cloud 23 with Denise. Cloud 23 is the new bar in the Hilton hotel at the bottom of Deansgate and boy is it spectacular. Located on the 23rd floor (hence the name) it has its own dedicated lift with just two buttons - 0 and 23. How cool is that? The bar itself is really sumptuous although DD complained about the furniture since it is possible for one to catch ones clothing on it (which she duly did!). But the really breathtaking part of it is the views over Manchester. Incredible- and it wasn't even a particularly clear day today. The really scary bit is a hole in the floor (covered in toughened glass) that allows you to look directly down to street level. Makes you dizzy just to look. The other thing that makes you dizzy is the prices. £2.50 for a fizzy water (me, of course) whilst DD's vodka and orange was £8.00! Not the sort of place one goes to every day therefore but certainly worth a trip for special occasions. Work and (more) physio tomorrow and then off to Brighton on Friday. I'll be glad of the rest! J x

Absolutely Knackered

Was in work by 7 this morning (walked in) and left at 1145 (walked home). Went to MRI for physio (walked there) which was really good (walked home). Fell asleep. Just woken up but still knackered.

Physio was good because we discussed my bad back and it looks as though it could be down to my posture which isn't good as a result of my tight hamstrings. Now have exercises to do to stretch the hamstrings. Fingers crossed this improves my back.

Work aagain tomorrow morning and then seeing doctor in the afternoon to find out if its OK for me to go to work! Hope he says yes... J x

Its All So Bloody Complicated

Stayed in the flat all day today expecting a delivery of food. Was sent 60 syringes but no food. When I phoned the delivery company they informed me they hadn't sent food because they had no vanilla flavour left. Hello? No taste buds? Did no-one tell you? They'll be sent tomorrow now when I will either be at work (am) or at the physio (pm). Or they'll come the day after when I'll be at work (am) or the GPs (pm) or the day after that - work (am) second set of physios (pm). And then I go to London. Bloody bloody. I just hope the concierge takes delivery otherwise I'll be losing a whole lot more weight in the near future...

Looking forward to work though. Officially I'll have to be just a visitor tomorrow as don't see the GP until Wednesday to get signed back on and I'm not insured to work until they have it in writing that I'm fit for purpose.

Spoke to Figgy today for the first time in ages and we're both dead excited about Wicked. Looking forward to seeing him and his Mum at the weekend. Hopefully also seeing John on Friday.

And thank you Sarah for the good luck in work card. Its like starting work all over again. Can anyone else remember those first precious days in the Inland Revenue? Ah, what joy... J x

Just Bought a Prada Tie

Am I wicked? J x

Grand Designs

Gill and I attended the NEC today. Traffic was a nightmare (there and back) but the show itself was good. Pretty much what you'd expect really in the way of stalls etc although I did think that it might have been bigger. Anyway, picked up leaflets etc on loads of different stuff and just need to sort through it all and decide what it is I like and what I don't (and which is the cheapest).

Forgot to phone doctor today so will have to do that Monday. Apparently it is not enough for myself and my manager to be happy for me to start back at work but my GP has to agree (in writing) too. Expect I'll get charged for the letter... J x

Yippee

Saw Indu first at Christies. She's lovely. I'm not sure of her status - registrar, junior doc etc but she always seemed to be on the ward when I was there and has always been really helpful and aware of a patient's needs. Anyway, she felt my neck, examined my mouth and, from nowhere, produced a tube to stick up my nose and down my throat (I'm thinking of having one of these fitted permanently). She professed herself very happy with everything she observed and said I looked fantastic (which I do - I was all in black and looking like a size zero). Young Sean bobbed in and had a chat. He thinks I may be able to have implants to replace my back teeth but he wasn't sure. They'll arrange for me to see the Christies dentist. Sean seemed very happy with everything too. Then Debbie and Charlotte (who is the new Caroline) popped in. Debbie was the one who was supposed to be getting me some gel for my scarring. She said she thought Caroline had given me the gel... I asked if she knew Caroline which was the only comment I needed to make! She's going to see if we can source it through Christies (apparently it costs £50 per tube!).

The really good news is that everyone is happy for me to start work (slowly) so its confirmed that I'll be in 3 mornings a week from next Tuesday (bunting not required although big hugs would be nice). Off to Birmingham tomorrow with Gill for the Grand Designs show at the NEC. Looking forward to that. And that's about all. Toodle pip. j x

Progress

Drank some black coffee today. It was quite weak and very sweet and I only managed half a cup but it didn't kill me or even make me choke so I was pleased. Also had an appointment to see the physios by way of referral from the Intensive Care Unit. It sounds as though this referral concentrates more on general fitness, stamina etc rather than focussing on specifics (i.e. shoulder, back) like the original referral. The 2 separate courses should therefore be complimentary to each other. Also spoke to Dave (temporary manager) and have agreed, subject to Sean's approval, to start work next week doing 3 mornings a week (this, according to Dave, is also known as a "Dave Black week").

Also bought some work shoes. Night everyone. J x

Busy Busy Busy

A relatively busy weekend which included buying a suit that fits (starting work a week today hopefully subject to the OK from young Sean on Thursday), taking a tour round Victoria baths (the one that won that Restoration programme) helping Denise buy a jacket (we didn't get one but will be launching another attempt on Sunday) going to the theatre to see Me and My Girl (not the best production ever but enjoyable nevertheless) and a visit from Karen (the most exhausting of the lot - just joking, it was great to see her). Phew. Bit of a rest day today. Spoke to Mrs T who is currently on holiday in Amble in Northumberland. What a fantastic name for a place. Amble. You imagine that not a lot goes on there. Also did some washing and not much else. Slept for three hours this afternoon. And that's about it. Nothing much happening now until Thursday so I'll let you have a report then. Night everyone. J x

Well That's It

She's gone. Mrs T has jumped ship and left us all floundering in her wake. How will HMRC cope now that its most famous daughter has retired? No-one knows but what we do know is that it was a fab leaving party. Loads of people there, good speeches, a buffet (of which I did not partake obviously), more presents than you could shake a stick at (had you been so inclined) and free red wine! In fact, all the ingredients for a perfect HMRC do. Had to leave early due to back pain but stayed long enough to enjoy myself. Had text from Mrs T after she had been poured into a taxi and it sounds as though she had a good time too.

Off to see Me & My Girl tomoroow at the Opera House. I'll let you know what it was like at a later date. night everyone. J x

P.S. Whatever happened to Little Babes?

Medical Schedical

Well, I seem to have had contact with many many branches of the NHS today...

This morning I phoned the GP to get the results of my blood tests. Spoke to the nurse who confirmed that my blood salts were normal but that I was slightly anaemic. She thought this might be caused by my low blood pressure. What? I thought it was the other way round. I challenged her and she fudged the issue and said that if things didn't get worse and I didn't fall over any more then I shouldn't worry. If I was worried I needed to see the GP. She also recommended that I up my fluid intake to about 3 litres per day (I'm currently on 2 litres). We'll see how things go.

Then went to see Caroline (bless, her last day on Friday). She's done a referral to the physios for my back and given it to me to hand to them. What's the betting they won't accept it unless its come through the internal post? Anyway, Caroline promised to keep reading the blog when she's in Australia and also promised to contribute. So that's 50p to the first person who spots a posting from her...

The went to see Frances who described my swallow as greatly improved. I'll still have to do a barium swallow but I won't need to starve myself beforehand. I'll get a letter in the post telling me when that will be. She also gave me some new tongue exercises to do using an implement. By the end of this I'll have the most skilled tongue in Christendom and won't I be the popular one...

Also called in at HNSU (anyone remember what that stands for?) and saw Christie (the nurse who looked after me the best) which was nice. She asked after the Aged Ps (I think she was taken with my father God bless her).

Anyway, everyone said I was looking really well which was gratifying. I also walked all the way to the MRI and then back again.

Cath called round tonight and it was really great to see her because I haven't seen her for a while. Am now looking forward to Friday when I will see a lot of you who read this blog. And on that note I'll say goodnight. J x

They Never Get It All Right

Went to the physio this afternoon. She was happy to see me regarding my shoulder but wouldn't discuss my back because it wasn't included on the original referral. It seems a bit "jobsworth" to me. I can't see that they could do any damage by giving me advice on my back. Anyway, I now need to get Caroline or Sean to do another referral. Its Caroline's last day on Friday (before she moves to Australia) so unless I see her tomorrow afternoon (when I'm seeing Frances) it'll have to be Sean on the 06/10. Anyway, got some shoulder exercises to be doing in the meantime.

Phoned for my blood test results yesterday and was told somebody would get back to me but of course they didn't. Phoned again today and the person I needed to speak to wasn't in. So will need to phone again tomorrow...

Went to town this morning to buy some new jeans for Mrs T's "do" on Friday (all my others now hang off me - I've officially lost 6 and a half stone now) and had to buy a pair with a 34" waist. I can't remember the last time I had a 34" waist.

Half pay officially started on 21/09 apparently. Worrthing Pay Section wrote to me today to tell me! J x

Oh What a Circus, Oh What a Show

Manchester Airport: nightmare. An hour just to get through security. And you had to take your shoes off. Why?

Arrive in London (plane delayed 20 minutes or so taking off), get to hotel only to discover, when attempting to take painkillers, that the syringe I've brought with me is the wrong type. Go to Boots over the road who say that they don't stock them. I should try the pharmacy at the local hospital. Get a taxi to Guys & St Thomas' (second oldest hospital in London), go to the pharmacy and turns out they don't stock them either. They suggest contacting the nutrition and dietetics department on the 1st floor. Trek to said department only to find everything locked up and closed. On the off-chance knock on the door which is answered by the sweetest dietician one could ever hope to meet. She explains that she doesn't have the exact same syringes as I use but she does have an alternative which works just as well. She then up and gives me three syringes free and gratis without me having a prescription or anything. We like her. The weekend gets better from now on.

Don't do anything Thursday night (the search for the syringes was enough). Friday morning meet up with my aunt and uncle and go to the Tiffany jewellery exhibition at Somerset House which is fantastic. Once the Aged Ps and aunt and uncle have lunch we then go to the Jameel Room at the V & A which is also fantastic. Friday night went to Evita. Much better staging than previously and the woman playing Eva Peron is superb.

Saturday morning is spent on an open top bus tour of London which was half good. Because the guide we had for the first half was excellent but the guide for the second half was rubbish. Aged Ps went off for lunch at Livebait and thence home to Swansea (they arrived safe and sound) whilst I went to meet Sarah. Having dumped my case at Sarah's we went to the Hockney (excellent) and Kadinsky at the Tate Modern (not a fan) where we met with Donna and had drinks (me, fizzy water) and a good gossip. In the evening Sarah and I went to The Ritzy (Brixton's local independent cinema) to see the new Almodovar film which is also superb. This morning Sarah took me to see the Brixton windmill (closed) and then drove me to the station to get to Gatwick extra early because of the security queues. There weren't any! And the plane was delayed by half an hour.

Anyway, I'm home now and absolutely knackered. So I'll sign off here and post again soon. J x

Not Fallen Over Again...

... yet!

Off to London tomorrow morning until Sunday so you'll have to wait until then for all the news. Hoping to do the V & A, the new Hockneys and Evita as a minimum. See you all soon. J x P.S. Good luck for the darts...

Still Dizzy

Saw the nurse and had my blood pressure measured. It does drop when I stand up so she took some blood samples which will be tested for salts and anaemia. I get the results on Friday (when I will be in London) so I'll update you all when I get back. In the meantime I just have to be careful about standing up too quickly. J x

Dizzy Queen

Have been having dizzy spells and, in fact, completely blacked out twice yesterday. The first time was when I got out of bed in the morning. I just suddenly found myself on the floor. However, I had no idea what had happened. Presumably this was because firstly I was half asleep and secondly because I'd fainted. The second time was when Denise was visiting. I don't think it was her fault (although that hasn't been completely ruled out yet!). This time I was in the hall and cracked my head on the bathroom door on the way down. Again, I didn't know what had happened but Denise was able to tell me that I'd said "ow" as I hit the bathroom door and that I'd ended up on the floor. Its all a bit scary. Anyway, have been very careful today about standing up suddenly and nothing has happened. Will phone Caroline tomorrow to ask who I should see about this.

Spent a very pleasant afternoon at a new garden centre with Gill on Sunday. You can never have too many garden centres.

Off to London on Thursday so I need to get the falling down thing sorted by then. Apparently if you fall down when in London people just rob you. Especially if you have aNorthern accent like what I do. Or a whippet. Am taking my parents to see Evita for their birthdays and then staying with Sarah H on the Saturday night. Sarah W is coming to see me on Wednesday evening after some SCI conference or other in Manchester.

That's all for now folks. J x

One Swallow...

Walked all the way to MRI today (and back) and luckily it was the right hospital! Spent about an hour with Frances and had the old tube up the nose and down the back of the throat procedure whilst I sipped ribena and attempted to eat yoghurt. Was also able to watch the video of it afterwards. Have you ever seen your epiglottis? God, its disgusting to look at. Especially when its coated in cherry flavoured yoghurt. On the plus side the ribena and the yoghurt didn't taste too bad.

Frances was happy enough with the progress I've made so far. She's given me some tongue exercises to do which should help my swallow. She's unable to say at this stage though how much of my swallow I'll be able to recover. She has a chart showing the different percentages of recovery and what it means you can or can't eat at each percentage recovered. For instance, if you recover 90% of the swallow then you can't eat peanuts and other similar food. At 80% you cant't eat meat etc. Looks like she's going to schedule a barium meal for me (swallowing whilst being X-rayed) which, by all accounts, is unpleasant. She should be able to tell me more after that. I'm seeing her again in a fortnight.

Not much else to report except to say that I've already finished watching Season 7 of the West Wing which, although not the best series ever, was certainly a fitting way to end. J x

Phew

Today's blessing - Young Sean says that the lump is nothing to worry about. At least he said that once I'd turned up at the correct hospital...! J x

Blessings

Let me count today's for you -

1. Nice day so was able to put the terrace "to bed" for the winter. Just need to buy a couple of waterproof covers for the furniture now.

2. Saw my GP so now have enough painkillers to last a month or two (this is my favourite blessing).

3. Also have a sick note for another 2 months.

4. Although have been thinking seriously today about returning to work. Even if I'm not eating and drinking I'm sure there must be some sort of system we can put in place that means I can get some privacy when I need to shoot up and also that I'm not risking any infections. Will discuss with DR or Business Support when I drop off the sick note.

5. Season 7 of the West Wing arrived today.

6. I've managed to set up my DVD properly (after reading the instruction book rather than just guessing how it was supposed to be set up).

7. I'm on Level 6 of Baldur's Gate (a play station game I've owned for ages but never got round to playing before now).

8. I think my swallowing is a little better today (although the words eggs and hatched are strangely in my head). However I did try some milk yesterday and it didn't work at all.

9. I walked all the way to the doctor's and back and then up 5 flights of stairs.

Bugger still not done my paperwork or hoovered. they'll have to be tomorrow's blessings as I'm all blessed out now. J x

P.S. Does television get any better than Lost?

A Reply To Kathryn

I'm not that worried (seriously). I think its just a part of my chest which now happens to be in my neck. It doesn't itch or hurt and I came across it completely by accident so I can't even say that it hasn't always been there. When I saw Sean last time I asked him what I should be looking out for and he just said "pain" rather than any lumps or bumps. I mentioned then that my back was worse than it had been but he said that my type of cancer doesn't spread to the bones. Of course what I didn't ask him was where it did spread. I shall correct that on Thursday (provided I remember to take my list of questions with me this time!). J x

P.S. Thank you for the belated birthday card and thank you to Donna too for the same. And no Donna, I don't mind you muscling in on my visit to Sarah. Oh dear. I suppose this should have been titled "A Reply To Kathryn & Donna". Hey ho, too late now.

Don't Worry

Have discovered what may or may not be a lump on my neck. Its about the size of a pea and because of its location it may just be something to do with the operations I had. Anyway, I thought it best to get it checked out so I'm seeing young Sean on Thursday morning. I'll let you all know the outcome just as soon as I get back from seeing him. J x

Shame On Me

Beautiful, gorgeous day and I haven't been outside the front door. This has a lot to do with the fact that I have a new playstation game that I'm enjoying immensely at the moment (lots of fighting zombies in a scary old haunted house). Expect to finish it this evening so if the weather is good tomorrow then I may venture forth.

And thank you for all your alcohol related hints and tips. It would seem that alcohol is almost as popular as religion out there is blog land! What does this tell us about the state of the nation? Discuss. J x

Oh Dear

Tried a gin and tonic yesterday. Couldn't drink it. When will this madness end? J x

Birthday Cards

Birthday Flowers from Fig & Mark

What a Lovely Day

As anyone who knows me will tell you - I hate surprises. However, Denise gave me a nice surprise yesterday when I turned up at her flat expecting it to be just me and her off to the theatre. When I turned up there were Jane, Sue, Cath & Gill with cards and presents and champagne (although I only had fizzy water). And the above (minus Cath but plus Bill) came to the theatre with us. The play was called Private Fears in Public Places and was by Alan Ayckbourn. It was good and quite funny. Unusually it was an hour and threee quarters long with no interval. I think this was a mistake since that's quite a long time to sit still and it was very hot in the theatre. Anyway, I enjoyed myself immensely. Thank you Denise.

Got home just in time for Lost. Oh my God, that programme never ceases to surprise me. I did not see last night's events coming. Can't wait for next week to see how it all turns out. Pre-ordered West Wing season 7 from Amazon yesterday too. Dead excited to see that too. Not out until September 11th though.

No plans for today. Will take my constitutional up to the newsagents at some point and that's about it. Also got some washing to do. I miss work... J x

Happy Birthday To Me

Thank you all for the cards, flowers and presents. As ever I'm overwhelmed by just how popular I am. And for those of you who have yet to send a card its not too late to rush out and buy one now!

Denise is taking me to the theatre tonight to see something (I forget what) by what's-his-name (I forget who) and its going to be fab. I'll let you have my review later tonight or tomorrow.

Incidentally, I discovered from the cancer research UK website that mouth cancer is more common than either cervical or testicular cancer (about 4400 new cases every year). If you detect it early, survival rates are over 90% with little effect on appearance, eating or speech. The warning signs are -

* an ulcer or sore in your mouth
* a red or white patch in your mouth
* an unexplained pain in your mouth or ear
* an unexplained lump in your neck
* a sore or painful throat
* a croaky voice or difficulty swallowing

I had some of these symptoms for a long time before I contacted my doctor so don't make my mistake. If you have any of the above contact your doctor straight away. J x

Another You Tube Funny

Try watching the video entitled "completely uncalled for". Its very funny but don't try it at home as you may get into trouble!

Not much news. Still sipping but progress isn't as rapid as I'd like. Need to see Frances to discuss which means trying to get hold of Caroline who, I think, is back from another holiday today. Birthday tomorrow. 45. Should be depressed at this prospect but instead feel lucky to have reached it. J x

A Good Way To Go

It was a nice retirement do. Everyone, especially Bob, was suitably emotional. The speeches were good and not overlong. Went to the pub afterwards and actually had a glass of water (although didn't manage to finish it!). Didn't stay too long as everyone was tucking into the free buffet and I so wanted to join them...

Not much else to report from today other than that I had a firm BM today. Probably the firmest since my stay in hospital. I know how you people like to keep up to date with these things. Goodnight Manchester. J x

Another Quiet Day

Gordon & Lizzie came to see me yesterday with their tales of far flung adventures in 15 different countries (if you count Hong Kong) over the last 6 months. And it sounds as though Lizzie may have been doing more flinging than Gordon (which, if you know them, is a turn up for the books!).

Mrs T coming to see me tonight and she has been doing some travelling in far distant counties too. I look forward to hearing all her news as well.

Big day tomorrow - my boss, the inestimable Mr D, retires. What is to become of us? It'll be a sad day for many people I know that. I just hope he's doing the right thing.... I'd like to (publicly) thank him for all he's done for me over the past 4 years and to wish him all the best for the future. He better stay in touch though since I can no longer get through a week without an anecdote or 6! J x

Hey Everyone, A Picture!

Just to prove that you can fit a drag queen in a JCB... J x

No Rain on the Parade

Well they were all there. The bars and the clubs with lorry loads of young skinny dancers in skimpy shorts. The bears' lorry with over-large men in tight T-Shirts and wedding dresses (wedding dresses could have been a theme this year) dancing to the high energy hits of yester year. We had the police and the fire and ambulance services. More nurses than you could shake a catheter at and, of course, the drag queens. What would Pride be without drag queens? We had one sitting in the bucket of a JCB. We had drag queens on stilts, drag queens in wedding dresses (natch), we had The Queen in a roller (like that's never been done before) and, hurrah, we had the Salford Ladies Temperance Union Society. What a sight they were in their twin sets and pearls carrying banners reading "sodomy stinks" and "rings were made for fingers". And what useful placards too as they doubled up as weapons for hitting people who didn't come up to their exacting standards (mainly bar and club boys in skimpy shorts). The Selfridges lorry was stunning, the Prairie Dogs line dancers were all in time and some Hippy McHippy with rainbow dreadlocks was trying to charge everyone £4.99 for a very very small rainbow flag.

I got quite emotional this year (and who wouldn't faced with all the above) remembering Prides past in Manchester, London and, best of all, Brighton. How many Prides do we all have left (see earlier debate)? And will they ever change? I hope not. Oh for those sweaty afternoons in the cabaret tent laughing with (at) the "acts". Figster will know where I'm coming from on this. And to make it all worse, the headliner this year in Manchester is Mark Almond. My back can't take any more standing around though and without alcohol it'll just sound like he's singing out of tune.... Happy Pride everyone. J x

Finally

I have an appointment to see the physios. Hurrah. Not till 26 September though but at least its a start. Thanks go out to the nurses at Christies who made this possible.

Sarah H came to stay last night and it was great to see her. She had a bit of a nightmare journey up here and as I can't drink we stayed in last night and watched Chinatown - I fell asleep in the middle of it. Bit of a pants film really although I hadn't expected the ending. Went for a lovely walk this morning along the canal banks in the lovely sunshine and she's just left to go back to London.

Have started sipping water as instructed by young Sean. Its not pleasant but its got to be done... J x

Hospital Visit

Just back from Christies where Sean professed himself satisfied with my progress so far. The nurses at Christies will also chase up the physios for me (that's now 3 lots of people trying to get me an appointment!). They're also going to try some special dressings on my scars because they're "hyertropic" (I think). Essentially, they're a bit red and raised. They don't know whether these dressings will work or not but at the end of the day it doesn't matter too much I don't think. I wasn't particularly pretty to look at before the surgery and I'm not particularly pretty to look at after the surgery either (feel free to contradict me to your heart's content on this point). Sean didn't appear to know of the Gerson diet (but then he's not the cancer specialist) but suggested I just eat a "balanced diet". I'll try and nab one of the cancer specialists at my next visit (October) to see what they think.

Sean also wants me to start drinking followed by soups even though they taste awful. Oh well, I suppose I can do that. Here's hoping my tastebuds don't take too long to recover.... J x

Roger, You're Right

You are human and you are lovely. And Jane, thanks for the translation coz otherwise I'd have had to ask. Feeling much better today. I don't know whether its the drugs or the prayers but I'll take whatever makes me feel better.

Just watched Angela's Dying Wish on Channel 4. Its about a woman with terminal breast cancer. It was very moving. It struck me though that no-one (apologies to the religious types) really knows how to talk about death. We don't seem to have the vocabulary. Which is strange because death is something that we all live with from the moment we're born. So why can't we talk about it? Discuss. j x

Was Sick This Morning

No idea why. So I'm back on the anti-sickness drugs (which I gave up about 3 days ago). Why is this happening? Seeing the doctors at Christies on Thursday so perhaps I'll have some answers then. Am fairly depressed by the situation as it seems that I am not getting any better. J x

Just Had To Tell You

Log on to youtube.com and find the video titled "OK Go - Here It Goes Again". It is the most fantastic thing you'll ever see. J x

Nothing to Report

Went to Sainsburys and bought bleach (all those BMs). Looked up recipes in the vegetarian cookbooks I own. Discussed colonic irrigation with my mother (who disapproves). And that's it. J x

A Couple of Quotes

"The Gerson diet is a very strict low salt, organic fruit and vegetable diet. Each person must drink 20 pounds (about 9 kilos) of crushed fruit and vegetables each day. Gerson therapists believe that people with cancer have too much salt in their bodies compared to the amount of potassium they have. They think that eating large quantities of fruit and vegetables will correct this imbalance and cleanse the liver. The idea is that the liver would then start to clear the body of cancer cells. It would be nice if the liver could filter out cancer cells from the body. If it did, this would certainly be an avenue of conventional cancer research. Unfortunately, it doesn't."

"Coffee enemas have been known to cause some serious side effects. They include
Infections
Constipation
Inflammation of the bowel
Salt and other mineral imbalances in the body and
Death caused by these problems"

These quotes are from the website of cancerhelp.org and there's no arguing with the quotes... J x

Colonic Irrigation

There. I've said it. And having said it I want to let you know I'm considering it. Let me explain why.

At the risk of unleashing Holy War II I'm going to refer again to the book that Denise loaned me. Despite the "miracle" in Chapter 1 of the author surviving her extreme chemotherapy I thought I'd finish the book whilst I was in Swansea. It turns out that little of the rest of the book deals with religious matters. Rather it deals with the controversial Gerson diet. The chap who invented this claims it can cure cancer as does the author (and as does Prince Charles apparently). To follow this diet one has to first detoxify one's system. One does this by ingesting nothing but fruit and vegetable juices for 3 weeks whilst giving oneself coffee enemas (I kid you not). Now I know that I'm missing coffee whilst I can't swallow but even I am not desperate enough for a caffeine rush to pour the stuff up my arse!

Anyway, anyway. After these first three weeks one follws essentially a vegan diet whilst ingesting truly vast quantities of vitamins intravenously. Needless to say the British medical establishment is less than impressed. So I don't think we'll be doing that. However, reading the book did make me think. I don't suppose that anyone is going to harm themselves by following a diet that minimises animal fats (i.e. meat and dairy products) nor is anyone going to harm themselves by ensuring they have a clean colon so that one's body is able to absorb all the required nutrients from one's diet. So that's what I'm going to attempt to do but not in any killjoy way. I've no doubt that I'll still consume some meat, cheese and milk but I'm going to try and cut down. And I'll also have the occasional colonic irrigation (always assuming the experience isn't too unpleasant). I'll let you know how I get on once I've checked with Caroline that it's all OK. If anyone has any particularly delicious vegetarian recipes then I'd be delighted if you'd let me have them (either on here so that everyone can try them or in the post or whatever).

Fianlly, I'm feeling fabulous today. J x