Why? I can understand them shaving my stomach, after all they were going to be poking all manner of strange instruments through it and then ripping it brutally open with a meat hook. A rusty meat hook. But my left thigh? Was this a case of those mistaken identities one reads about in the cheaper weeklies? Was I close to having my left leg amputated? Is there a no win/no fee lawyer who can help get me compensation?
Of course I've now had to shave the rest of my left leg and my entire right leg in order to get the balance right. As a consequence I've been asked to take over from Alan Sugar who's playing the Dame in Manchester's pantomime. Its Snow White and the Seven Apprentices (they're changing it to Apprentici when I take over as I think it sounds classier). Sorry, I've no idea where that stream of consciousness came from nor, indeed, where it was headed so lets just leave it there.
Today's news. Got up. Still in pain. Laid on sofa. Still in pain. Had a shower and got wound dressings wet (again). Pain levels not affected. I can't even say its getting slowly better because it doesn't feel any better at all. And its worse in the afternoon and evenings. Looking forward to receiving an independent assessment of how things are looking "down there" when I see the GP nurse tomorrow. I don't particularly seem to be oozing so I'm assuming its all going OK. I will, of course, let you know. DD coming over later to watch Gavin & Stacey so I'l try and put my happy hat on by then but its not easy....
That's all. J x P.S. Sarah in Sussex is safe and warm in case anyone was worried.
3 comments:
Maybe the shaving of the thigh was just a gratuitous excuse to cover you in foam and stroke you?
Make sure you get some decent painkillers from the nurse. What is the point of being a higher rate taxpayer if you can't get decent analgesics when you need them, for heaven's sake? And I think the morphine has influenced your lovely stream of consciousness thing at the start of the post.. positively psychedelic. Have you considered the effect this will have on your memos when you return to work?
I made a snowman. He is called Brian. Brian the Snowman.
I haven't taken any drugs (unless Strepsils count) yet my stream of conciousness knows no bounds.
Snow, Man, Men, Snog, Snug, Sung, Sing ... going to see La Cage Aux Folles tommorow and when I hear about the 'Givenchy Gown' I will quietly do a secret whoooo! for you x x x
fig x x
Oh where will it be left? I've forgotten?
But I'm surprised your stream of consciousness didn't take you there straight from "men"... J x
P.S. I want to hear all about La Barrowman. Having said that I've just googled and you're seeing La Hodge I believe?
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