Safe & Sound

We're back. Whilst I had a fantastic time in Paris it was good to be back in my own bed again. Journey was fine.  Just taking it nice and easy today. :-) J x

Sunshine

Finally. Spring has arrived in Paris. Spent some time today sat in the sunshine in the Tuileries gardens. Proper lovely it was. Had attempted to get into the Musee D'Orsay but the queues were ridiculous so we gave up. Out tonight locally for a meal and found a fabulous Italian restaurant. I had a pasta dish for the main course which was prepared by pouring some grappa onto a wheel of Parmesan cheese, flaming the alcohol and then scraping off the softened Parmesan which was then used in the pasta sauce. Fabulous. Also rediscovered the Americano cocktail that I used to adore when I lived in Toulouse. Relatively early night tonight as have journey home tomorrow. We leave Paris about 1600 and get back to Manchester at around 2100. How fantastic is that for a train journey?  Will see you all soon therefore... :-) J x

Something Witty in French

Arc de Triomphe was a triumph. Views are spectacular. Had to stop half way up the stairs though to catch my breath. But I wasn't the only one out of breath. Ritz less successful as its closed for refurbishment. Went to Napoleons Bar (best olives I've ever tasted and Lesley went nuts for the barman's nuts) then to William Bar (über trendy but now called something else). Had a great evening and got very drunk on vodka and sweet martini!  I know.

This morning was a slow start but went to Notre Dame. It's all a bit tacky in there now just on account of the number of tourists.  Walked for miles looking for a recommended restaurant for lunch only to find it closed. Went somewhere expensive where we didn't like the waiters instead. Bought a shirt using the money from my leaving present.  Thank you guys. Now having a lie down at the hotel then out to some trendy bars later. Will update you with exploits tomorrow.

Sending out big love to Sara who is in hospital following a heart attack. She sounds like she's doing OK but we'll find out more when we're back. That's all. J x

Paris Fatigué

God Paris is exhausting. Walked from the hotel this morning (we're virtually in the banlieue) to the Louvre and then spent a couple of hours there but saw only a fraction. DD and Lesley did the big stuff whereas I saw more obscure bits (my favourite being the Byzantine art - all gold and sparkly - but not as over the top as Napoleon's apartments). Now at hotel for a lie down (they're still out there). Arc de Triomphe and the Ritz this evening. :-) Bonne journee a tous. J x

Arrived In Paris

Journey was great but hotel is a little underwhelming. But its an adventure. Currently the French parliament are discussing same sex marriage if you're interested. Denise has found a gay porn channel on the telly but I haven't... :-) Thats all. J x

It's All Over

Today is my last day in HMRC. If anyone has any official secrets they want to tell me about you'll need to do it today. Although, to be fair, I'm still covered by the Official Secrets Act going forward...

It's a sad day but I still have lots to look forward to. I'm ending homophobia in football (again) this afternoon and then I'm off to Paris tomorrow morning. Then it's a conference on lung cancer the day after I get back from Paris. And, I've now found a project that involves being gay and having cancer all at the same time. It's like there's someone out there creating projects especially for me. Watch out for the gay/cancer/expensively dressed project soon... :-)

Now all I need is some money to pay for all this.... That's all. J x

Stuff I Forgot To Mention

So whilst in London I shared a room with Lesley.  It was a dream. That woman is lovely.

There was an unfortunate underwear incident. Unfortunately I am bound by human decency and the bonds of friemdship from revealing the exact nature of the incident or indeed the names of the people involved.  Rest assured the incident will be seared on my retinas for evermore.

Denise and I had a row. Shocking I know but she and I do occasionally fall out.  Rest assured I have since apologised (even though it wasn't my fault).

The Somerset House do was truly amazing.  All the vodka consumed helped.

Dr Yvonne officially told me I am overweight.  Not yet obese but I am well on my way.  I need to sort this out somehow.  I suspect that now I am no longer going to work and physically chastising my team (honestly that was the best bit) I am not using up the calories I was before.  I either need to do more exercise or eat less food or drink less alcohol.  Since Dr Yvonne has told me to drink more alcohol and Nurse Jackie has similarly encouraged me I shall need to work on the two former things.

I've also not told you about the karaoke leaving do.  What a fantastic do it was.  It started in the office with a 7 page speech from Richard (a team member) accompanied by a slide show (thank you all my bastard friends for supplying pics - you know who you are).  I also received £250. What a fabulous sum. And a letter from Lin Homer.  I was really touched by this and the effort that had gone into obtaining it.

Thence to The Cotton Mill and karaoke.  I took part in Daydream Believer (solo number), I Got You Babe (me and Richard who was channeling my PS) and Bohemian Rhapsody (me and all the boys). All the girls did Delilha for me. Karl did This Charming Man and Richard and Sam did Let's Get Ready To Rumble.  Fucking fantastic.

And that's all.  Have been drunkenly texting Fig tonight whilst watching Andrew Lloyd Weber.  It happens. That really is all. J x

Back In The Land Of Snow And Ice

Back safe and sound in Manchester after my adventures in the big smoke.  London was good. Saw the Pompeii exhibition at the British Museum.  Very good and very interesting.

The main reason for the visit though was the theatrical experience in the basements of Somerset House. Truly incredible venue, the basements are cavernous and like a rabbit warren. The experience was fantastic. The event is a little complicated to describe fully here but involved domestic appliances taking over the world. It also, rather unexpectedly, involved a lot of the actors taking off all their clothes and wandering around naked. Quite different!

Of course we spent most of our time eating and drinking! One of the best places was Smiths in Smithfiled Market. It's owned by that chap off Masterchef (not the bald one) and was a fabulous venue (although a little expensive).

Now have a couple of days to recoup my energies (whilst washing and ironing) before heading off to Paris. It's all go....

Last night saw Game of Thrones back on our screen.  Just as fabulous as ever.  That's all.  J x

Good News

So off to MRI first thing yesterday with Madam and her ears. Looking better there and I'm no longer having to shout...

Thence to Wythenshawe in the afternoon to see Dr Yvonne. She agrees I'm overweight but she's not worried about that (although I am - she's not seen me sunbathing in a swimming costume!). News from the X ray is that my lung tumour hasn't grown since the end of my treatment which is very good news. The MRI scan has shown cancer on my spine but this too seems to have responded to the chemotherapy. I do need to be very careful about this though. Spines are tricky things and there's all sorts of nerves involved. So I need to keep an eye out for random nerve pain or numbness and report it immediately. Otherwise she'll see me in 6 weeks. I'm happy with all that.

Asked about travel insurance. The problem is "repatriation". One can get treated in Europe for emergency medical events under the EHIC card. However, if one falls ill and needs longer term treatment then one needs to be repatriated and that costs (air ambulances etc don't come cheap). However Dr Yvonne told me about Swiss Assist. This is a card you can buy for €60 and you are covered for air ambulance travel home for a year and it covers the whole of Europe. Doesn't matter if you're already ill when you buy the card just so long as you're not in an "acute" phase of your illness. Sorted. Just now need to get the £30 insurance to cover my luggage etc. obviously it means I can't travel outside Europe but then I wasn't planning to anyway.

Cinema last night to see Cloud Atlas which is a very strange film. It has a stellar cast though all playing multiple roles. It didn't help that the heating system in the cinema wasn't working properly either. After about half an hour I thought I wasn't going to enjoy it but as the film went on the more you got drawn in. There are some lovely humorous bits in there (especially in the high security rest home) and seeing the lovely Ben Whishaw snogging a man is worth anyone's money. The various stories gradually have points of intersection and its quite fun spotting where they overlap. It's a long film though - going on for 3 hours - so you do need to persevere. I'd probably recommend waiting until its shown on telly and seeing it then.

Lunch with Nurse Jackie today at Alchemist. Looking forward to seeing her. That's all for now. J x

Two Hospitals And The Cinema

That's either the title for a film or my schedule for the day... :-)

MRI at 9830 (not my appointment) followed by Wythenshawe at 1330 (my appointment) and then the cinema at 1730. Phew. It's almost like I could do with a holiday...

... which is proving a little problematic. Thought I'd cruise the net for some travel insurance yesterday and those few companies that are willing to insure me are coming in at between £1100 and £1600. For a four day trip to Paris. Unbelievable. I thought the whole point of insurance was that you lot paid a little extra on your insurance so that I could have a reasonably priced holiday. If its all tied into individual circumstances what is the f***ing point? Might as well just self-insure. So come on you lot. Get in touch with your insurance companies and tell them you want to pay extra... The alternative of course is to exclude the cancer from the insurance. In which case the premium comes down to £30. I will be talking to my consultant this afternoon about what to do for the best.

Helpline last night and had two calls. One of them a wank call which is always refreshing. Trust me, he didn't stay on the line long once I realised what was happening. The other call lasted for an hour with a clinically depressed person who has all sorts of things going on in their life. Hope I helped.

Seeing Cloud Atlas tonight with the lovely Gill. Not sure quite what it's all about but am fairly sure it won't be as bad as Broken City which we saw last week. That's all. J x

Momentous Events (Not Really)

So, this blog approaches its 7 year anniversary (27 March 2006 was my first ever posting) and I approach my 1000th post (this posting is number 995). And Hilda is 80 years old.  Fantastic stuff.

Anyway, in respect of the latter event, DD and I took her out for a curry yesterday and very nice it was too.  Bloody freezing out in the open though. We went to the Radisson first for champagne and vodka.  Unfortunately the place was somewhat overrun by hairdressers (yes, there was an actual convention) and tall wispy models who's up-dos had been mostly annihilated by the wind. So service was a little slow.  In recognition of this the rather cute barman gave us our drinks for free. How fab is that?

Then it was back to DDs for coffee, Countryfile and Corrie to find out who died in the fire (we still don't know). Altogether a lovely day.

Not much on the agenda today. Indeed nothing until my helpline shift this evening.  I shall endeavour to tackle mountains of paperwork therefore. Just as soon as I've made myself another coffee. And maybe a biscuit or two... That's all.  J x

Wouldn't You Simply Die Without Mahler?

Ten points to anyone who can tell me who spoke those words and in which film. At least that's how I remember the quote anyway.  Best of luck.

But, frankly, Mahler is pants.  I'm reliably informed that his 10th symphony - which is the one we saw - is his worst. And it wasn't even wholly written by him as he dies before he finished it and someone else came along and made it all even more unintelligible.  And the slew of hemiolas in the fifth movement really put the icing on the cake for me.  Although the notes tangling like bindweed through the orchestra ran this a close second.  I am paraphrasing the programme notes here...

Anyway, if you're going to see some Mahler apparently his 2nd symphony is the one to see.

Had a good night out in Liverpool anyway (words I thought I would never write) as we went to Alan's favourite bar and restaurant.  They're now also my favourite bar and restaurant in Liverpool. And they're just around the corner from the Philharmonic Hall which was convenient as we were late leaving the restaurant and had to run through the snow. Train was delayed coming home so had to wait 20 minutes on the platform but no one killed us which was good.

Curry for lunch today. Yum.  Followed by Coronation Street round at DD's. That's all.  J x

It's a Cold

Had an OK night last night although I did have one of my (now luckily rare) night sweats. And my temperature is back to normal. But I'm coughing and sneezing today so I think the whole temperature vomiting thing was just the start of a cold. Lets hope so anyway. I'm seeing my consultant on Tuesday for the results of the MRI scan so if anything is still worrying me then I can ask her.

Off to Liverpool this evening to see the Liverpool Philharmonic play Mahler. I trust that it will be a little more intelligible than what we saw them do last time (no, can't remember) but I'm fairly sure the composer won't turn up this time. :-)

Hopefully the wind won't blow the train off the tracks although it did manage to blow one of the trees on my terrace over last night. No one was hurt. But I've got to go out there and put it back up soon.

Out for a(nother) curry tomorrow but otherwise taking things easy ahead of my Warrington leaving do followed by London & Paris & Manchester leaving do. Phew. That's all for now.  J x

Update

So today hasn't been too bad although I'm starting to feel achy and shivery now. Temperature has stayed down though (36.6 at the moment). Should probably go to bed early but it's The Walking Dead tonight and I love that...

Had a haircut this afternoon and Cameron has worked his usual magic. I look much better. :-) And Hilda is back from Cyprus so my flat looks much nicer too. J x

Oh and just so we're clear...

... I had one pint of Peroni yesterday. At lunchtime. With food (and with good company). This is not drink related. Thank you. J x

Temperature at 37.0

That's a bit better and hopefully it will continue to fall. Not been sick again and managed a couple of hours sleep.  Feel tired and rotten now though.  And my cleaner is coming today.  May retire to the spare room...

Temperature at 37.8

That isn't good. If it stays there too long I'll have to call the chemotherapy unit. Bollocks. Have taken paracetomol to see if it comes down.

But whilst lying here it suddenly occurs to me that I haven't seen my good friends the Murrays for far too long. Jane and Bill, once this temperature is sorted out I'm coming for you... :-) J x

Apropos of nothing...

... I've just been sick. Not violently but vomiting nonetheless. Still feeling a bit hot and shivery so anticipate maybe being sick again. I will monitor and let you know. Wish I hadn't let that carer go otherwise I'd be straight on the phone to her... :-) J x

Cooking Doesn't Get Tougher Than This

Enjoying the new series of Masterchef. Dale is my favourite so far.  Early days yet though.

Had lunch at Carluccio's today with Liverpool's brand new BLM.  He seems very excited to have the job and is full of ideas. The other BLMs will love that. He enjoyed the food and I enjoyed looking at the pretty new waiter...

Off to the cinema later with the lovely Gill (birthday girl for tomorrow) but not quite sure what we're seeing.  It's got Marky Mark in it though so let's hope he flashes his pants.  He does still do that doesn't he?

Gone bloody cold again.  Will Spring never arrive? Thank God for all my foreign trips... J x

Oh And You Know What Else?

71,108.  Just saying... J x

You Know What?

When one has a terminal illness, there is almost nothing finer in the world than to get pissed with good friends. I just want to say thank you to all my good friends for getting pissed with me (or at the very least watching me get pissed without being all censorious about it). Cirrhosis, Schmirrhosis.... :-) J x

Moan Moan Moan

So some readers are complaining that I don't blog enough (you know who you are). Tough.  This isn't a democracy.  This is my blog and I'll not blog if I want to.

Having said that, I am very sensitive to my dear readers' views and will therefore try to do better.  So what's been happening? Usual busy stuff -

Mockingbird at The Royal Exchange last night. Absolutely brilliant.  Great cast, great production although the story is a little dated now. But still powerful. Followed by drinks at Annie's (despite the "closed" notice on the door (nothing stops DD). Great to see Chris and Dave too.  And food at DD's was great.

Lunch today with the lovely Jim at Bents. Went looking for a plant stand but didn't find what I was looking for and so have ordered one on Amazon. It's to grow my seeds on should I manage to germinate any of the ones currently living in my fridge.

Helpline tonight after watching the Coronation Street fire at DD's first.  Have heard from the LGF on my ideas to end homophobia and I have been referred to Graham and Andrew whoever they might be.  Please continue to watch this space.

Have also received an offer on the flat in Brighton.  And there are 2 people interested so let's hope they get into a fierce bidding war... And that's all for now.  J x

What's the buzz....

.... tell me what's a happening.  Honestly, I wish I knew.  The past is like a foreign country to me.  My memory is so fucked that I can barely remember my name.  I'm not blaming the cancer for this (for once) as I think it's just that senility has set in early for me. I know its a real trial for my friends (whoever they might be). Rest assured that you all are still important to me.  It's that I just can't remember why.  Or indeed who you are.

So want can I remember?  I can remember coming third in the quiz at the Ape & Apple. I can remember going clubbing with Ben and Nic after the quiz (at an Hawaiian cocktail bar).  And I can remember enjoying it. I can remember defending PMR to a bunch of trainees.  I can remember getting into an argument about the holocaust with one particular trainee (yes, trainees can be Nazis). And that's about it.

Subsequently I can remember having an MRI scan at Wythenshawe hospital.  But that was uneventful apart from the fact that the radiographers (I don't think they're actually called that but I don't know the technical term is for a person who operates an MRI scanner) were twats. I can remember going for a curry with DD and Ev and Cyril at that new place on Deansgate (Imli?) and enjoying the food and the company.

I can remember going to the Glam exhibition at Tate Liverpool with Ronda. I didn't particularly enjoy the exhibition but I enjoyed Ronda and I bought a present for the lovely Fig.

Oh, and I also remember getting a Premium Bond win.  £25. Can't be bad... That's all for now.  J x

Crane Watch

I can see two new cranes from my windows this morning.  Proof of the economy picking up?  Watch this space.... Pub quiz tonight.  In the Ape & Apple.  Indeed. No more to be said.... J x

Good News

Gill passed her resit. Hurrah. Masterchef is back on TV. Double hurrah. Hoping for more good news too from today's interviews although I shouldn't think we'll hear today.

Less good news is the fact that I was unable to completely end homophobia in football yesterday. It may take me a little longer... However, I've floated the idea with the LGF and they're going to have a think about my suggestions and get back to me. I'll let you know how that goes.

Lunch is on the menu for today but other than that its paperwork and cleaning kitchen cupboards (no, I haven't finished them yet).  That's all for now. J x

Morning All

Brrrr. Bit parky yesterday. And I chose to visit a garden - albeit a winter garden - at Dunham Massey in the company of the redoubtable Madame La T. It was bloody freezing and bloody expensive and the soup was rubbish. Not something I'd recommend. Except of course I'd always recommend spending time with Mrs T as she is like a sunny day and a warm hug all wrapped up in a bundle of loveliness.

Then to the Rain Bar for drinks and more interview trial runs. That was dead quiet and cold too.

Mother is doing not too badly at the moment as she's over the side effects of her first chemo cycle but has developed a cold. Father too has a cold which, as ever, has gone to his chest so he is on antibiotics at the moment. I wish them both the best for a speedy recovery.

Of course today I'll be ending homophobia in football (at about 1130) so I'll let you know how that goes later. That's all for now. J x

P.S. Good luck to Gill for her results today. J xxxxxxx

Priorities People

So I blog about cancer activism and ending homophobia and not a peep from anyone in comments. However, as soon as I mention Bonnie Tyler and Eurovision things start kicking off.  I blame the coalition....

But anyway.... So the cancer conference was good. Lots of goodwill from some incredibly clever and talented people who genuinely want to do the best for patients (or "users" as we're called - could be worse, could be customers: actually I don't mind the use of the term "customer" but that's a whole other debate). They are also, properly to my mind, concerned with value for money and efficiency. I hope I brought a touch of realism to proceedings e.g. When the Director of Nursing stated that nurses wanted to do a brilliant job I pointed out that there were a large group of nurses who actually didn't care whether they did a brilliant job or not.  I pulled the Director of St Anne's Hospice up on a statement she made (but don't worry, I checked afterwards that it would still be OK for me to go there!). I felt like I added real value.  I even got interviewed for a Macmillan DVD... Plus I think I've been co-opted onto the Strategic Programme Management Group which sounds like a whole lotta fun :-) My next meeting is on 10/04 (don't know where yet) so I'll keep you informed. I'll be ending homophobia on Tuesday next week.

Michele came round last night to trial run her canapés. That woman is super-talented in the kitchen and the canapés were fantastic.  We also watched Argo on blu-ray. Fab film. Deserved the Oscar. We then watched a programme on BBC4 about New York Rock Gods. All the usual suspects, Lou Reed, New York Dolls etc but also Antony Hegarty which seemed a touch incongruous to me.  I love his voice though and maybe need to do a little background research on him.

Quiet day today - more kitchen cupboard cleaning if I can be bothered. Followed by a mock interview to conduct later. DD will also be taking part so I'm expecting questions on how HMRC solves its post-room problems.... :-) That's all for now. J x

Had to blog...

...as just discovered that Bonnie Tyler will be representing me (I mean us) at Eurovision this year (May 18 - mark your diaries now). Boom. Guaranteed win for the UK.... :-) J x

Busy And Hungover

So out with Toby last night for a drink which turned into a meal and lots of drinks. How does that happen?  He brought Chris, his tutor, along initially and it was great to see her as have not seen her for ages.

Today was my pre- meeting meeting with the Macmillan cancer people ahead of the conference on Friday. Have been given a list of attendees and its all Director of this, Chief Finance Officer of that. All pretty high profile.  Will be interesting to see how I get along with them all. Macmillan people seemed to be suitably impressed with me (and why wouldn't they be?) and have asked me to consider joining the steering group for this project (which is planned to last for 3 years and has a budget of £6m). Obviously I haven't got 3 years but I think I may well join the steering group as there are lots of London conferences to attend and you get your expenses paid!  Obviously that wouldn't be my prime motivation (no seriously, it isn't) but I do have a lot to say on the provision of care (as any reader of this blog will know) and I do want to be able to make a difference.

Then it was on to more prosaic pursuits this evening and a visit to the cinema with the lovely Gill to see the latest Die Hard which is pretty much exactly how you expect a Die Hard film to be and none the worse for that. Had fun.

Tomorrow is another busy day (but with the benefit of an early night tonight) as am having lunch with Jude at Carluccio's, doing a load of pre-reading for Friday and doing my first shift in six months on the Helpline. Phew.  Incidentally I have arranged a meeting with the LGF volunteer coordinator for next week to discuss how I will be ending homophobia in the football community. Wish me luck.  And that's all for tonight. I'm sure there's loads I've forgotten but I want to get an early night... :-) J x

Two Days

So it's been 2 days since I last posted. Sorry about that. Clearly I've just been having too much fun (and too many hangovers!).

So Friday night was martinis in Panacea with DD and Ev. That was very nice and not been there for ages. Felt a little delicate on Saturday morning but it was off to Manchester Art Gallery for the Raqib Shaw exhibition. The artist has decorated the outside of the gallery too with plants and flowers which look fantastic - do get down there and have a look if you get a chance. Also please make the effort to see the exhibition inside as it will blow your mind. The colour and sparkle and vibrancy of the paintings is overwhelming and really worth the effort.  I'll definitely be going back to see it.

Saturday night was a night out with my trainees at the Comedy Store on Deansgate Locks. What a brilliant night. Of course it was the usual thing with the comedians with 2 of them being really good and 2 of them being just OK. But a great night out nevertheless with the guys and their (for the most part) pregnant partners. To Atlas Bar for after-show drinks and then to Neighbourhood with Daniel and Sharon who stuck it out longer than most (hard drinking Yorkshire persons that they are!). We must do it again and I'm suggesting we go to the new upmarket bowling alley in the Great Northern.  Will check it out with DD and others first to make sure it's worth the trip to Manchester for the rest of them.

Then yesterday was a late lunch (once early morning hangovers had been dealt with) with DD and Lesley at Rosso (my first time there) and I was impressed both with the venue and the food and the martinis (yes, more vodka). I think the service left a little to be desired though. We then popped into Avalnche and Albert's Chop House before Lesely and DD headed off for a pub quiz in Castlefield.  I was flagging by this stage and so made my excuses and left.

Busy week ahead (starting with lunch today with my very good friend Pat from Wrexham) and then loads of other stuff that I'll fill you in on as the week progresses.  DD is having one of her incommunicado weeks (which given her continuing deafness is probably no bad thing since I know she finds it very frustrating) so I won't see her until next weekend.

And that's all I can think of to tell you about at the moment.  Good luck to Gill with her resit which happens today. J x

Happy St David's Day

First of all, congratulations to the Lib Dems on winning Eastleigh. A very good result.  Ooooooh, politics. Controversial!

Attended a training session at the LGF last night on "talking to strangers". It was mostly about good communication techniques and strategies and so didn't tell me anything terribly new.  Was good fun though and met some new people (i.e. I talked to some strangers!). Job done. It also allowed me to sign up for some helpline sessions in March so I'm now officially back on the rota which I'm really pleased about. There was a guy on the helpline whilst I was signing on the rota who I'd helped train months and months ago (of course I had no recollection and so it was like talking to another stranger!). He reminded me that we'd discussed where he was going with his life and I'd encouraged him to apply to university to follow his dream of getting a qualification (and thereby a career) in mental health nursing (which was the field he was already working in). And guess what?  He did so and has been accepted on a degree course at Salford University. I am over the moon about that and was able to hide my disappointment that the university is in Salford... Good for him. Really pleased.

Have also decided that the LGF needs to raise its game a bit.  They talk about "fighting homophobia" as their raison d'être and yet appear to be doing no work in the football community, the catholic community or the black community.  All communities where homophobia is particularly visible.  I suspect this is because they are seen as difficult areas to tackle but that's no reason not to try.  My mission now is to get the organisation involved in these areas.  I'll let you know how I get on.

And talking of activism, I've also been contacted by the Macmillan cancer charity about the "Cancer Voices" initiative I signed up for.  I'm now getting involved in a project shaping the delivery of cancer services in Manchester (primary care - GPs, secondary care - hospitals, and community care - social services and local councils and including palliative care). Quite excited about this and it sounds like there's a big budget and its high profile. I'm going to a conference at Old Trafford cricket ground next week involving all sorts of high profile people. In fact, this is so high profile that I have to attend a pre-meeting meeting at Wythenshawe hospital on 06/03! Good job I'm now able to talk to strangers. No idea yet what I'm going to wear though.... suit? jeans? onesie? We didn't cover what to wear when talking to strangers at my training. Something else I'll need to sort out clearly...

Also now learned what the programme for the Manchester International Festival will be in July and so trying to arrange dates and events to attend.  Not easy at all.... But I have a clear day today so need to crack on with this and also start to tackle the mound of paperwork I have.  May have chance to blog later but given the length of this entry you should all have enough to be getting on with :-) That's all. J x

A Secret Revealed

Well I had no idea that including the phrase "a top secret adventure" in a blog post would have such an effect on everyone.  Clearly you don't like me having secrets...

Anyway, I can now reveal that the secret adventure was, in fact, a trip to a garden centre to buy a couple of rose bushes.  These were gifts for Ev and Michele for them to remember the people they have lost recently.  I wasn't going to mention this fact before we'd given the gifts obviously. Both Michele and Ev were very appreciative of the nice surprise so it was worth the trip and the hassle of receiving endless texts demanding to know what the big secret was...!

Mum had her first chemo session yesterday which went quite well apart from the fact that the nurse had problems getting the cannula in.  Why aren't all nurses proficient at this skill?  It's an absolute basic requirement of hospital treatment (especially on a chemo ward) and so they should all be good at it but a surprising number of them aren't. And as far as I can see no-one cares or checks up. We'll just have to wait and see now how hard the side effects hit her this time round.  Fingers crossed it won't be too bad.

A nice lunch yesterday with Gill and Cath and then DD was round in the evening to catch up on some recorded TV. Lunch again today, this time with Daniel and Jane, but not much else.  Never fear though, I have a long list of stuff that I need to do so wont be sitting around idly feeling sorry for myself.  That's all for now. May blog later providing I get some of the way through my long list. :-) J x

Catch Up

So, to stay outwith the World of Gay for the moment, the football was good, and exciting and we won which is always good.  In addition Swansea won the cup which was good to see even if the match itself was a bit of a walkover. Here endeth the sports news.

And back in the World of Gay am somewhat wishing I'd recorded the Oscars if only for the musical interludes which, in addition to my diva La Bassey, included Danny Radcliffe and Katie Zeta-Jones. May see if I can find the programme on catch-up this afternoon as am out for lunch today with the lovely Gill and the lovely Cath.

Yesterday was excellent fun too with the lovely Sarah & Sarah (from Leeds and London respectively). We met in Restaurant Bar & Grill, then went to Alchemist for some food and thence to Harvey Nichols for far too many espresso martinis.  But it was great to see them both and I had a lovely time although am suffering somewhat this morning.

Still unable to divulge reasons for secret adventure so,please stop nagging. All will be made clear shortly... That's all for now.  J x

P.S. it's my Mum's first chemotherapy session this afternoon so I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing her all the best for that.  Thanks.

Football

Off to the Chelsea match today. On the new tram service. Very exciting. Will blog later. J x

Woo Hoo

70,021 as at this moment.  Fucking brilliant. Never mind that most of those hits are probably me...!

Very pleasant evening round at Madame's last night. Soup all round and copious episodes of soap.  Then had to solve the problem of the stereo not working (why does everyone think I'm a technical genius?). Anyway, problem was solved by - you guessed it - switching it off and then switching it on again... Calm restored.  Madame is a little deaf at the moment as a result of her cold (which seems a lot better otherwise I'm pleased to report) but given that I'd just spent 4 days with the Aged Ps, speaking at the top of my voice is not a problem for me.

Me and her are off one top secret adventure this afternoon so look out for future reports

Incidentally...

.... this blog is 17 page views off from having 70,000 hits. Thank you blog-lurkers everywhere.... :-) J x

Home Safe

Journey was fine. Round to DD's for soup and catch/check up tonight.... J x

A Win and a Fail

So I managed to sort out my Dad's computer problems.  Essentially I just pressed lots of buttons until it seemed to work OK and the rogue messages just disappeared :-) However, I was unable to set up his Sky Box for catch up TV because I was unable to set up his computer to operate wirelessly (and yes, I did turn it off and then turn it on again). Even having bought a wireless adapter and followed all the instructions I couldn't get it to operate wirelessly which meant I couldn't move the router so that it plugged into the Sky Box. Hey ho. He just have to get a man out to do it.

Not much else to report.  DD still ill and bored. She's even been reduced to doing the ironing and washing up.  Will this illness turn her into a domestic goddess?  Watch this space... That's all. J x

Spring-Like

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Welsh Wales. We went to the National Botanic Gardens (no trip to Swansea is complete without a visit). They've done a lot of work in the glasshouse tidying up and cutting back and it looks much better for it.  Just proves the adage that less is more.  We also had a lovely lunch and a browse around the shop before returning home to watch Bargain Hunt and Pointless!

Have decided on a number of holidays en famille for some of my mother's "good weeks" during her chemotherapy (London and the Forest of Dean) and a trip to Edinburgh in July once she's (hopefully) over the treatment. Malta is off the agenda for now.  And, assuming we're all still here and well enough we fancy a Scandanavian cruise next summer.

DD has seen the doctor and learned she has a virus. All well and good and she just needs to wait it out therefore but that doesn't help her with feeling crap - which she does.  Hope you're all sending her good wishes and looking after her until I get back on Friday and can resume my caring duties.  We have a Mutually Assured Caring pact... Have various family duties to undertake today (coffee with neighbours and visits to cousins) and then tomorrow I put on my tech hat I order to sort out father's computer and set the telly up for receiving catch-up telly on the telly. Wish me luck with that. :-) And that's all for now. Sunshine has just disappeared down here so that's the Swansea summer over and done with. Hope it's warmer where you are. J x

Good News

Saw mum's oncologist this morning. Whilst they cannot provide a cure for her cancer they think that she responds brilliantly to chemotherapy and so she should have many years ahead of her.  She will therefore start chemotherapy straight away.  And if this shrinks her tumour sufficiently then she may qualify for the enhanced radiotherapy treatment now available (aka the "cyber-knife" - which sounds very scary but probably isn't). Unfortunately this means that she'll miss being able to go to Portugal for the time share. But we can arrange a family holiday for later in the year when she gets her strength back.  Dad fancies Malta. Anyone know anything about Malta?

We can also perhaps look at the Forest of Dean (where I'd like to go) on one of her "good weeks". That's all for now. J x

Arrived

Now safely in Swansea.  Journey was good as the roads were really quiet. Was unable to take my normal route though as the M50 was closed.  This meant taking the M4 and crossing the Severn Bridge and paying £6.20 to get into Wales.  Into Wales.  Any amount is too much but £6.20 is just having a laugh. They should charge it to get out. In fact they cold charge pretty much an amount they liked to get out...

Aged Ps doing as well as can be expected.  Seeing Mum's oncologist tomorrow so should know more then. That's all for now. J x

Priscilla, Fab

Don't get me wrong.  Priscilla was never going to be great theatre and it isn't.  But as a fun night out its hard to beat.  Just accept that what you are seeing is a drag show on stage and you'll have a great time - as did all three of us.  And if anyone ever needed proof that Jason Donovan isn't gay then just watch this show. He hasn't a clue how to play gay.  In fact he's the worst thing in this show.

And it's saved from being as appalling as Mamma Mia by having a story and fitting the (additional) songs around that rather than concocting a story to match the songs.  And it's full of drag queens.  What more could you ask for? And it was the start of the second half of the new season of The Walking Dead last night too.  Just fab-a-rooney.

Have just completed the first of today's two mercy missions to DD. Medication on the first run and groceries on the second. But I'm off to Swansea tomorrow for a week and so won't be around to keep an eye on her.  Could people just check up on her from time to time to make sure she's alright?  Thank you.  That's all for now.  Next blog may be from Swansea... J x

Third Time Lucky

So it was back to the dentist today. He's used so much glue sticking the tooth back in this (third) time that I think I may be high for a whole month!

Last night was a lovely night out with DD and Michele to celebrate the end of this chemotherapy cycle. Started in The Midland followed by a meal in Carluccio's (where we were the only "group" - everyone else was in a couple: must have had something to do with the date). And then nightcaps at the Radisson.  Got home about 0130. Lovely.

I've just been reminded by Madame La T that I've omitted to post a review of Lincoln.  I really enjoyed the film and am convinced that Daniel Day Lewis deserves an Oscar for his performance. The film focuses on a quite short period in Lincoln's life - his struggle to get the necessary votes to pass the 13th amendment - but that means that you get sufficient detail to really get under the skin of the principle characters. Very good.

Off to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert tonight.  I don't hold out great hopes for it and sadly DD is too unwell to come along. So just me, Lesley and Sara. We'll just have to make the best of it... :-) J x

David Beckham Pants

What do we reckon? J x

Not So Good News

My tooth has fallen out again. I suspect I may have to just get used to the gap... Am seeing the lovely Lance again tomorrow.  J x

Good News

Saw Dr Yvonne at the clinic this morning and she thinks I'm doing "brilliantly". She says I've responded really well to treatment and that augurs well for any future treatments I may have. She said that despite lowering the chemotherapy dose after the first cycle, I'd still had a really tough chemotherapy regime and she was happy with how I'd responded to that. I'm dead chuffed about all this.

Also, have had my ill health retirement approved. I've not received my copy of the paperwork yet but my boss has. I'm pleased (and also not pleased at the same time) about this. I'm really going to miss work. And what the hell am I going to do with the time available me when I'm not abroad? Will need to come up with a cunning plan. Dr Yvonne doesn't recommend the gym though which is a relief as I could see that is where the carer-in-chief's thoughts were going... She thinks I just need gentle exercise which is just fine by me. Carer in chief has therefore picked me up a leaflet on complementary therapies so we're looking at yoga and meditation and massage....

Off out tonight with DD and Michele to celebrate the end of this cycle of chemo. I won't be seeing the doctor for 6 weeks now. I'll also need to have an MRI scan to check out my spine as the last CT scan showed something up even though the PET scan hadn't. Dr Yvonne doesn't think this is anything to worry about but wants to check it out anyway. MRI scan will happen some time in the next 6 weeks.

And that's all for the moment. Have to get out of the flat now as my cleaner is here and I don't want to get in her way so I'm off to the Whitworth gallery for a look at the Piper exhibition. J x

Toothsome

Saw Lance yesterday and now have my tooth glued back in again. :-) No hug this time though. :-( I knew it was probably a mistake to hang onto him for quite so long last time...

Still feeling good and have last clinic appointment tomorrow. Not entirely sure what happens after that but I'll let you know when I know.

Saw the lovely Lesley for coffee after the dentist and then put DD on a train to London. She's back late tonight.  Seeing Gill later to go and see Lincoln. I'm really looking forward to that.

On he news front, the pope thing was a bit of a surprise. Who knew he was allowed to resign? Let's hope we get a liberal one next time round...

And that's all for now. Talking to my boss later and apparently the ill health retirement stuff has arrived in the office and its been approved. Yay. Now just need to work out dates and stuff. Again, you'll get the details as soon as I have them. J x

P.S. Much love to Penny who is now recovering at home.  Thinking of you honey. J xxx

Morning All

Yesterday was a good day. Still feeling OK.  Had a night sweat (not had one for ages now) but otherwise no symptoms of anything. Went out for lunch with Jim followed by a few drinks on Canal Street which was nice (not been there in ages). Then DD, fresh from Nottingham, came round to watch the BAFTAs. Thought most of the winners were the right choices but thought Stephen Fry was dreadful. I'm not a fan of his at the best of times but thought his presentation was excruciating and very unfunny.  Liked the very bright yellow dress (Dior) but little else.  Anne Hathaway looked good though. As did George Clooney.

Hygienist appointment this morning and will need to try and get an emergency appointment with my dentist (the very beautiful Lance) to see if there's anything else he can do about my missing tooth.  That's all for now. J x

Who'd Have Thought?

Absolutely fabulous meal at Mum&Dad's last night. Delicious vegetable curry and, given that everything was so delicious, I decided to have a go at the chicken.  First meat I've eaten (pâté apart) since my cancer treatment last time.  The chicken satay and tandoori chicken were gorgeous too.  The evening was brilliant marred only by the fact that I lost my tooth again.  I once more have a gap in the front of my mouth and am speaking with a whistle. So that's another trip to the dentist. :-(

Feeling a little hungover this morning but nothing too bad.  Which is just as well as I'm out with Jim lunchtime today. :-) That's all. J x

More Evil Drink Please

Off to Maggie & Paul's (Manchester Mum& Dad) for dinner tonight. Beer, champagne and vodka on the menu. Oh, and curry. Yum!

Have a plan to spend today cleaning out my kitchen cupboards. It's still at the planning stage at the moment. I'll let you know if it ever gets off the ground.

Spoke to the lovely Fig today. You'll all be pleased to know he is well. We discussed Skyrim, A Chorus Line and public transport. All subjects dear to my heart. :-) Must get back into Skyrim actually.  More fun than kitchen cupboards. Not as much fun as beer, champagne and vodka though.

That's all for now. J x

Evil Drink

So went to Restaurant Bar & Grill yesterday evening and stayed probably longer than we should have. Consequently am hungover today. But no other ill effects so that is quite good.  Carer in Chief has departed for Nottingham and so I have the rest of the day to myself. If the weather improves I may wander into town with my vouchers to see if I can find a shop to spend them in. And that's all so far.

Oh, an email from work says that a decision on my ill health retirement is "in the post" but it didn't arrive today. Bet it's been sent second class... I'll let you know what the outcome is as soon as I know.  That's all. J x

P.S. My condolences to Kev (and Sue) whose sister has died. They are back in the area at the moment dealing with the stuff that needs dealing with. On top of that Penny, Sue's sister, has been taken into hospital with breathing difficulties. Hopefully it's nothing too serious and. I wish her a speedy recovery.

Morning All

Still improving in how I feel.  Hopefully this will just continue now that the chemo has stopped.  Not got clinic tomorrow but rather a week tomorrow. I think this was a  booking error but it makes no odds really. This will be my last clinic for a couple of months unless I develop any symptoms.

Not much planned today beyond meeting one of my trainees for a drink later. Will need to start thinking about how I intend filling my days when, as looks increasingly likely, my ill health retirement is approved.  All suggestions v welcome.

Went to see Zero Dark Thrity at the cinema last night. It's an excellent and interesting film that throws up lots of interesting questions: Can torture ever be justified (I don't think that's an easy question to answer)? Are there limits to what a country is justified in doing to protect its citizens? Etc.

Looks quite sunny out there at the moment but I don't think that's the forecast for the whole day.  Never mind, Spring is on the way - I can feel it in my bones.

Oh, and while I remember, the three line whip put out by the carer in chief regarding filling my weekend with things to do has been satisfied i.e. ino longer have a free second all weekend :-) Thank you all. J x

On The Mend

Had a good night's sleep last night and consequently feeling much better today. No real plans as such yet beyond reading my paper that Denise dropped off for me earlier on her way to the gym (she is determined to hone her body into that of an Amazon warrior). I may do some shredding (can't tell you how excited I am about that), I may catch up on Homes Down Under and Homes Under the Hammer (which strikes me as even less exciting than shredding) or I may venture out on a big adventure although it does look pretty cold out there - but then I do have some vouchers to spend given to me by HMRC in recognition of the sterling efforts I put in when I was there (to be fair they were given to me for something I was hardly involved in at all but hey ho, what's a boy to do?). They are however spendable in shops such as Matalan and Iceland. I wonder what they sell? I suppose if I had contributed something significant I would have been given vouchers for Harvey Nicks. Must try harder next time...

If I have an adventure il be sure to let you all know about it on here. That's all for now. J x

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Borgen Spoiler Alert: if you're watching the series and haven't seen the final episode yet read no further.  Go away and come back once you've seen it.

It's now Sunday afternoon and I haven't seen a soul (oops, nearly typed "sole" there - that would have been amusing: are you getting the idea that I'm bored yet?).  Have sorted all my DVDs into alphabetical order following the shambles of me and my carer trying to choose a film to watch last night: a million DVDs and she didn't like any of them.  In the end we plumped for Babette's Feast which meant a lot of fiddling around with remote controls (long story) (long boring story actually). It's a good film though. All those subtitles then set us up nicely for Borgen. Luckily I happen to know that there is a third series of this already filmed so hopefully we won't be left hanging on for too long before finding out how the election goes.  Bet she wins...

Texted my friend Lesley who used the excuse of too much work to do so that she couldn't come and see me.  And the carer was last seen heading to the gym and hasn't been seen or heard from since.  Hey ho.  May catch up on some "Being Human" as I see there's a new series starting tonight.  Vampires, werewolves and ghosts. What more could a boy ask for? That's all. J x

Thank you

I just want to take the opportunity today to say thank you to all my friends out in blogger land for the help and support you've given me over these past few months. I know many of you don't comment on the site but I also know from talking to you that many of you are nevertheless regular readers of this site. Just knowing that helps. Many you, of course, also phone me and text me and send best wishes via third parties. It all helps and it all counts. I just wanted you all to know that. And before you start to worry, no, I'm not feeling maudlin it's just a good opportunity (no more chemo for a while) to say it.

In other news, Ev's mum's funeral yesterday was rather lovely. Lots of family, obviously, and many of the grandchildren gave readings and shared personal memories. It really brought home what a lovely woman she was. Of course, anyone who has ever met Ev would have no doubts that she came from a close and loving family but it doesn't do any harm to say these things out loud from time to time. Unfortunately the funeral took it out of me a bit (catholic funerals are not brief affairs) and so I had to come home straight away afterwards but I'm glad I was there all the same.

Plans for today include taking it easy and being visited by carer in chief. And who could ask for more than that? Have a nice day everyone. J x

Small Chemo

Today didn't go too badly. I am very tired though. Should be OK for the funeral tomorrow though and will then take a view on whether or not to attend Dave's leaving do. If I don't make the latter then I wish Dave all the best for a long and happy retirement. He's the chap signed off my promotion report so I owe him a lot. Not got anymore to say at the moment apart to say that I'm looking forward to a period now when I feel a bit better than I have. Fingers crossed. J x

Once More Unto...

Had a much better day yesterday. Had lunch with Madame La T, carer in chief and Johnny Byrom at Rylands. Very good and lovely to see John again. Me and La Madame then came back here and watched The Descendants (George Clooney film I'd recorded) which was rather disappointing. DD came round later and we caught up with Borgen, ate cheese and planned our ticket buying strategies for the MIF. We've decided to buy tickets for the Massive Attack thing (in addition to Kenneth Branagh) even though we've no idea what it involves simply on the basis that Punchdrunk are involved somewhere along the line and so it should be an unusual and exciting event.

Last chemo of the current round this morning. Yay. And the hopefully will have some time when I feel relatively well afterwards. No idea how long this will last so will just need to make the most of my time. Of course will keep y'all up to date with how that all pans out :-) That's all for now. May blog later following treatment. J x

A Bit Better This Morning

Hopefully yesterday was the worst I am going to feel because it was pretty horrible all told. However, despite not having a good night I do feel better this morning. Hopefully will get some fresh air whilst the weather holds which will make me feel better again.  That's all so far today. May update later. J x

Feeling Yucky

Side effects from last Thursday seem to have well and truly kicked in now and I don't feel well at all. I'm tired, have a bad taste in my mouth and diarrhoea. Not fun. But it's the last time for the immediate future so things could be worse.

On the bright side had a visit from Madame La T yesterday and she may be calling round later today too. Always a pleasure to see her. And, of course, my carer in chief continues to deliver a sterling service along with the daily papers :-)  Chat with my boss this afternoon to catch up on work stuff and that's my agenda for the day.

Generally though I'm just moping about today and feeling sorry for myself.  Hopefully will be more cheerful tomorrow. Watch this space. That's all. J x

Ex Lax

I am pleased to report that using just a judicious diet of baked beans, vegetable chilli and vegetable curry (over successive nights, not all at once) the horror of constipation can be beaten. Saves drinking those dreadful laxative drinks. Yay for bowel movements.

I should point out (as my mother would if she ever read this blog anymore) that I am also (on the advice of my good friend Michele) taking daily doses of cod liver oil to see if it helps with my back pain. Mother says that this too helps with constipation (if not with bad backs as yet). I can report that it is unpleasant to take in liquid form though..

That's all for now. J x

Still Feeling OK

Not much of a title for this blog I know. But there you go. Still on the steroids which are boosting me (and constipating me at the same time - rough with the smooth, see previous blog entry).

Had a visit from the lovely Jim earlier today and am receiving a mercy mission this evening from DD and Michele bearing therapeutic curry (see above re blockages). My mother reckons that the cod liver oil I'm taking to help with my back pain (on the advice of Michele) will help with the constipation. I'm afraid I have so far seen no improvement in either ailment. And it tastes disgusting. I've vowed to persevere for 7 days and then if no improvement to drop it.

And that's all for now. Oh, apart from to report that City won. Yay. J x

The Quaker Tree is in Bloom

That is to say that the tree outside the Friend's Meeting House in the city centre has blossom on it. It's the first tree in Manchester (as far as I know) to come into blossom and is a sign of the impending spring. That allied with the fact that once we get today's blizzards out the way the temperature starts to climb gives me hope. Hope of things renewing, things reborn, life eternal and warm sunny days just perfect for recharging your vitamin D levels.

Of course, things and life never run entirely smoothly so it is with a heavy heart that I report that Ev's mother after a long struggle has passed away. It was not unexpected and she passed peacefully with her family around her. And that's all we can ask for I guess. Im sure you will all join with me in sending Ev heartfelt condolences. Also, my Dad's former business partner, Malcolm, has also just lost his battle with lung disease so my thoughts go out to his wife and family too.

I'm sure there's any number of religious messages in the above life and death paragraphs but as I'm not religious I'll just say: it's a queer old life full of swings and roundabouts. We need to take the rough with the smooth and make the best of the hand we're dealt. And on that cliché-ridden thought, that's all. J x

Big Chemo

Another long day yesterday - 0800 to 1730 - principally because of the need to get blood tests done on the day and the having to wait for the results. But it was my last time this time round so I'm not complaining too much. It was quite tiring though and I actually fell asleep for a while as they were pumping poison into my veins. Denise as ever was marvellous driving me to the hospital and picking me up to bring me home. I don't thank her enough for all she does for me.

Saw the lovely nurse Jackie who wants to come to Copenhagen with us. This is good news because not only is she nice and good fun but she's a cancer nurse. I do realise that's a rather selfish viewpoint but I'm sure it will put a lot of people's minds at rest. Anyway, you'll all get to meet her at my party on 21/06 and you can issue her with her instructions to look after me then!

Incidentally there's been a change in the theme for the party. Paganism rules no longer. The theme will be A Midsummer's Night Dream. This can be interpreted narrowly (come dressed as a character from the play) or more widely (dare to dream on this Midsummer's Night and dress accordingly). More details nearer the time.

And that's all for now. Hopefully my side effects will be as relatively mild this time round as they were for the third cycle. But even if they aren't this will be the last time for a while. Yay. J x

The Glums

Enjoyed Les Miserables last night. But it's not a film without faults - principally the casting of Hugh Jackman who isn't suited to the role. His singing is OKish but his acting is terrible. And the main difference between Les Mis on film and on stage is that the acting on film needs to be as good as the singing. This is because of all the close ups and the need to carry the story better. Anne Hathaway is a revelation though. I actually cried when she had her fall from factory worker to prostitute. Brilliant. Bizarrely the best singing in the film comes from Colm Wilkinson who, here, plays the priest who shelters Jackman. Overall the film is well worth seeing though even though it is long - around 2 and a half hours.

In other news had coffee with Sara and Lesley and was good to catch up with them as I haven't seen Sara since before Xmas. Had coffee in Rylands cafe which is a nice little cafe but the service isn't very good.

Feeling good today but start final cycle tomorrow with big chemo session. Hopefully it won't be too tough. Rest assured I'll let you all know how it goes. Have to be there early as, once again, the District Nurses won't be here to take my blood today. That's all. J x

Update

There is an Ap in the Ap store called runpee. It tells you the best time during a film to go the toilet so that you don't miss anything crucial. Genius or what? J x

Another Good Day

Still not sleeping properly but my days seem to be OK. Met up with a colleague from Newcastle today for coffee. Not seen him for ages and it was good to catch up and also to find out the latest progress on a project I was working on just before I went sick. Of course it all seems to have fallen apart since I'm no longer dealing with it... (Just joking!).

Also, as its Monday, had my usual call from the bath of one of my trainees. I'm beginning to think he's never out of it. Anyway, he's doing fine which is good to hear.

Had a letter from Human Resources telling me when I go on half pay and when I go on nil pay. That cheered me up! Hopefully we'll get a response on my ill health retirement application before either of those things happen. My consultant sent off her report at the back end of December so I'm hoping it won't be too much longer.

More coffee meetings and phone calls tomorrow as well as a trip to the cinema to finally see Les Miserables. Will let you have my views after that. That's all for now. J x

Happy Birthday Bryn

Today would have been Bryn's birthday if he'd still been with us. So today is already a sad day. It's also the day that Michele has chosen to scatter Bryn's ashes. I and others who were Bryn's friends will accompany her and we'll celebrate his life over lunch afterwards.

Didn't do much yesterday apart from go round town whilst DD bought stuff. Was suffering a little bit though from the night before when I got pretty drunk. It was good fun though. :-)

My final cycle starts on Thursday so this will all be over soon and hopefully I'll have some time when I feel well. Looking forward to that. That's all for now. J x

Scan Results

Spent a happy 2 hours at the hospital this afternoon (big queue for the X-Ray machine). So got to see the doctor late. Saw Dr Taylor (who I've not seen before and who is Australian - but he seems quite nice). He says that the scan shows a "significant" reduction in the size of the tumour in my right lung and the associated lymph modes since the last scan. Also a large reduction in the fluid in the pleural area (but this is compared to a scan taken before they drained the fluid - at least it shows that the fluid hasn't re-accumulated though).

This is good news but its difficult to draw any firm conclusions from this. All one can say is that it is a positive result and hope that things continue in a positive manner. The original prognosis - 9 to 12 months from time of diagnosis - hasn't been changed but since this is an average (i.e. an average of results some of which will be below 9 to 12 and some of which will be above), any positive results mean that one is likely to be above the average rather than below it. I like the sound of that.

We also discussed the possibility of having some more chemotherapy further down the line. This is possible but will depend a) on my response to chemotherapy generally - which looks good at the moment and b) how fit I am at the time - again looking positive at the moment. Perhaps I should join a gym again? :-)

Got a plumber coming round tonight to look at my washing machine. Not expecting good news there. :-(

That's all for now. J.

Text Messages During The Broadcast

In timeous order (see if you can guess who sent them!) -

* Tension unbearable

* Oooooh I'm so excited

* Did you meet the meerkats?

* Ooh I've seen that look before

* Yey! A star is born

* Was that it?

* There you were - loved that look you gave them

* Hurrah!! A sidelong glance delivered expertly

* Who is that guy reading the paper in the cafe? What a star! Soooo jealous

* Lovely arched eyebrow

* Lawrence Olivier would have been in awe of your performance

* Can I stop watching now?

* Were you supposed to turn and give the Lewis raised eyebrow? Or were you just desperate for some face time?

* Loved the cheeky 'looking around' bit of acting talent. Amazing.

* Mr Lewis, star of Corrie. Hope you've got a good agent...

Needless to say I'm really pleased with how it went. And I'm really grateful to Jude for making this happen for me. No idea why but I'm just chuffed that I did it. And it was great to have DD and Michele here to watch it with me. Thank you everyone for your messages. Love J x

Winter

It snowed here last night and semi-settled. On the plus side, City won in a very exciting match. And finally, the series Grand Hotel came to an end. DD and I have stuck with it through thick and thin. And it was almost wholly thin. Just madness.

Went to Bents for lunch yesterday with the lovely Gill who, you'll all be glad to hear, is as gorgeous as ever. Had a lovely time, didn't buy anything but finally got to catch up on life, the universe and everything.

Today, of course is the big Coronation Street debut day. I've still no idea which episode I'm in so you'll have to plan to watch both sorry. DD and Michele are coming round here to watch. And drink champagne. Look forward to reading any comments later. And don't worry, I'll still remember you all once fame comes knocking... J x

Lion King

Went to see the above last night for Jim's birthday. As ever with touring West End productions the provinces don't live up to the original. The stage was smaller as were the sets and cast. But it's still a good show and the audience certainly enjoyed it. Didn't have brilliant seats though.

Continuing to feel OK and am off to Bents today for lunch with Gill. Will be good to catch up as we haven't had a chance for a good natter for a while. Will let you know later if I come back laden down with garden goodies. J x

I Hereby Rescind....

... everything I've ever said about Dame Shirley Bassey. I love, love love her. Just watched Imagine on BBC4 and the woman is a genius, a star, a tragic diva, Welsh: everything I love in my public figures. J x

Toothsome Once More

I've never had the best teeth in the world (smoking and radiotherapy saw to that) but at least they're all back in place now. The genius that is my dentist managed to do something with gold chains and glue which means you'd never know one of them had broken. Hurrah. Now I can smile again. He also gave me another hug. I'm starting to wonder... J x

A Fan Writes....

.... is that a picture of you on the Coronation Street Website? Yes, dear reader, it is. But they're playing it canny. It's not a full face picture so only the most devoted of fans will spot me. I'm sure they'll feature me much more heavily after my debut on Monday. J x

Cycle 3, week 2

My lovely Manchester Mum drove me to Wythenshawe today and unfortunately we had to stay longer than either of us were hoping. Place was busy plus I needed to have a blood test first and so it took about 4 hours door to door. Still MM is very good company (once you get past the right wing polemic!) and so time passed very agreeably. Also saw the lovely nurse Jackie.

The admirable Ms Drury has just been round to check up on me so I will now give myself over to an evening of languid seclusion... :-) J x

Not A Good Look

One of my lower front teeth broke in half last night. I now have an attractive gap right in the front of my mouth. No doubt this will cost me a fortune to put right. Although having said that I seem to recall that because I've had radiotherapy to my mouth (cast your minds back to the first cancer) that I will need to get any work done at the hospital rather than the dentist. Oh joy. I'll let you know more when I do. Can't do anything before Friday though as have chemo today obviously... J x

Bloody Hell....,

.... it's going to get even colder. It's quite cold enough for me thank you. Although obviously not cold enough at night as I had 2 night sweats last night. That meant retreating to the sofa at about 0330 this morning as both sides of the bed were by that time moist. Didn't really sleep then for the rest of the night so have felt quite tired today.

However, the taste in my mouth hasn't been as bad today but then I have also felt more nauseous today. Swings and roundabouts.

Went to the cinema this afternoon with DD to watch The Hobbit again but this time in 3D. Having now seen it I can say that Life of Pi remains the only film I would recommend seeing in 3D.

Quiet night in from now on although I think DD may be calling round later. Hopefully will have a better night tonight as its my "small chemo" session tomorrow (Manchester Mum picking me up at 1000 - thanks Mum). After this I will be 3/4 of the way through the chemotherapy which is great news. May take longer than normal tomorrow as there weren't enough District Nurses today to take my blood test in advance so we'll have to do it tomorrow before the chemo starts.

And that's all I've got for you so far. Stay warm. J x

Movement

Not a good night but I'm pleased to report that constipation has eased somewhat under pressure of laxatives and tins of beans. Horrible taste is back in my mouth which nothing - even Mint Corsodyl, thank you Sharon & hubby - seems to shift. Nausea not too bad but the anti-sickness drugs are good.

Agenda today includes a Sainsbury's shop and, if up to it, coffee with a team member. :-) J x

Not Too Bad So Far

Had a good night with only a minor night sweat. But yesterday was my last day of steroids so I expect things to get a bit worse from now on. Anyway, am taking advantage of feeling OK at the moment to walk into town and post a letter. Hurrah.

DD has already been round with the paper and arranged with Manchester Mum to take me to the hospital on Thursday for Chemo II (see you at 1000 Mum). She will also be calling round this evening (avec her tea) so we can catch up on all the telly I've recorded and not been able to watch so far.

Got loads of paperwork sorted last night which is good (hence trip to post office).

Just had a phone call from one of my Team on a study day. Not sure how much studying he's getting done though as he was in the bath at the time (lunch break!). Luckily, we don't Skype...

Off now to take painkillers and phone the redoubtable Madame La T (unrelated occurrences) before tripping off into town... :-) J x

Kicking In...

... the side effects that is. Tiredness, nausea, bad taste in my mouth, constipation, lack of appetite. It's not worse than it has been before yet so fingers crossed. Last day of steroids today though.

Even so, am off to DD's for coffee and to pick up my paper. Nothing else planned for today other than taking it easy and trying to finish off my paperwork. Oh, and eating lots of baked beans because the laxative medicine just gives me indigestion. :-(

May blog later, we'll see. J x

Cycle 3, Day 2

Was really tired last night and slept really well (obligatory night sweat apart). Still feel a bit tired today but the steroids I get for the first three days after the big chemo really help. The anti-sickness stuff is essential too as I felt sick when I woke up this morning.

Have had a visit from Jim this lunchtime and then a  long chat on the phone with Sarah from London. DD coming round tonight for curry and a film (postponed from last night because I fell asleep!). Seeing Sara tomorrow lunchtime (her cold permitting) and then Leslie picking me up to to take me for a scan at Wythenshawe. I know. On a Saturday.

Not much else to report really. Will blog again if anything spectacular happens. Oh, I will just mention in passing that I am thinking of having a party on mid summers evening (21 June 2013, it's a Friday) which you may want to pencil in. All regular blog readers/contributors will be invited. It's just that I don't know how long I have realistically but I should still be OK and fit enough to enjoy a party on that date. Perhaps we can have a pagan theme and all practice alternative remedies for one night only. Vodka-therapy and the like... Anyway, nothing definite yet, just a thought. J x

Another Long Day

Needed to get to the ward early as the District Nurses didn't take any blood yesterday so we set off at 0745. And we didn't get back to the flat until 1730. All the usual stuff with no problems luckily but very tiring. Fell asleep almost as soon as we got back and still feel tired now.

But let's see how things go. Due two visitors tomorrow so looking forward to that. I'll update y'all tomorrow. J x

Doing OK

Still feeling good today although had two night sweats last night. No idea why two. So a little tired but otherwise OK. Hoping to go to B&Q this afternoon with DD although I can't remember what we're going for...

District Nurses should be calling this morning to take blood ready for my all-day-chemo tomorrow. It's the start of Cycle 3 so I'm officially half way through the course. My oncologist doesn't think it will be worth giving me more than 4 cycles. After 4 the side effects tend to get even worse and the benefits are smaller. If they're looking for a "cure" then it's sometimes worth the risk but since they're not doing that with me there's little point going through the additional side effects.

Hopefully also going out for a curry this evening with Jude et al. Apparently someone has a voucher. That's if I ever manage to finish DD's washing. Yes folks, my financial situation has got so bad that I've been forced to take in washing to meet the bills. Seriously though, her washing machine has broken down so what's a girl to do in such an emergency but turn to her friends with functioning (if very loud because it doesn't function all that well) machines. And I'm happy to do it.

No other news to report at the moment. Will update later if anything exciting happens. :-) J x

Happy New Year

Hope 2013 brings everyone everything they want.

Had a bit of a tough day yesterday (self inflicted) as I'd been out for dinner the night before and over indulged in both food (but It was gorgeous) and drink (champagne, beer and vodka is a heavy mix) and fun (Manchester Mum & Dad were there along with Ev - mine host - and Denise). The result was that I was sick during the night, lost my appetite the following day and ran a high temperature. It wasn't ridiculously high (I went up to about 37.8) so the hospital didn't want to take me in. But it did somewhat spoil the NYE celebrations. DD and Lesley did come round and we watched Breakfast at Tiffanys (fab film) followed by the hootenanny and I did stay up till 12 so not all was lost.

Feeling much better today and my temperature is back down to 36.0 so it's all better now hopefully. Serve me right frankly. No plans today apart from a trip to Sainsburys and taking down my decorations. I'll blog later if I have anything to report. J x

Sunday Sunday

Quiet day so far. Cleaning, washing & watching The Walking Dead. Also a visit from those intrepid travellers DD and Michele. Wales was apparently fantastic albeit very wet. Off to tonight for dinner T Ev's with DD and my Manchester Mum and Dad. Yum.

Not much else to report really. My Uncle John isn't doing too well at the moment but hopefully he will rally soon.

Life of Pi was a really beautiful film. Especially in 3D. And then it was out for a few VMs with Lesely in the Radisson which was fun. That's all. J x

All Alone

So have woken up this morning all alone. It's a nice feeling for the moment but I suspect the feeling will wear thin once I've worked my way through The Walking Dead box set. Going to the cinema later with Lesley to see Life of Pi. Should be interesting as I have no idea what to expect. I must be one of the few people around to have not read the book. Will see it in 3D as the reviews recommend that.

Saw the Hobbit yesterday in 2D and, whilst I did enjoy it, I found it little underwhelming. Andy Serkis actually stole the show in my opinion. Will maybe go and see it in the 3D, fast frame version to see if that makes a difference.

Also met up with Jane for a coffee in Starbucks (I know, but Caffe Nero had no seats and Starbucks was virtually empty: perhaps a tax boycott is taking place?). Great to see Jane and catch up with work gossip and her personal stuff.

And that's all for now folks. Spoke to DD and it sounds as though she won't be back until Sunday when we're out at Ev's for a mell along with my Manchester Mum & Dad. :-) J x

Clinic Visit

So off to Wythenshawe hospital today with the Ageds to see the lovely Dr Summers. She told it like it is and answered all their questions. She also agreed to write me a "to whom it may concern" letter confirming my less than 12 months diagnosis (some of my pension schemes won't pay out without this letter). Saw Glen there who doesn't appear to be having a brilliant time on chemo (he started his first cycle on exactly the same day as me and so we always have appointments on exactly the same days). Dr Summers won't be upping my chemo dose given the relatively easy time I've had of it on this second cycle. Apparently I'm still on quite a heavy dose and the side effects will get progressively worse without altering the dose. But it also looks like I'll only have the 4 cycles rather than 6.

Also watched Marnie this morning (having had my interest piqued by The Girl last night) and what a great film it is. I've had the DVD for ages and just never got round to watching it. But what a scary person Hitchcock was. Be interesting to see what Anthony Hopkins does with him in the film. And Helen Mirren as his wife.

Am also working through all the episodes of Bleak House with my mother. Superb series and well worth this second visit. Every great British actor one has ever heard of appears to be in it. Apart from Helen Mirren.

Ageds leaving in the morning and Madame doesn't return until Sunday which means I have almost two whole days to myself. Yippee. All this and I'm feeling quite good at the moment. Anything could happen. Watch this space. J x

Trip Out

Took the Ageds to Tatton Park this morning whilst it was dry and relatively sunny. Walked around the gardens for an hour. Not a great deal to see as its the middle of winter but the Japanese garden still looks pretty and peaceful and the fresh air no doubt did me some good. Managed to get lost on the way home as exited by the Knutsford exit which isn't the one I'm used to.

Then it was back for another couple of episodes of Bleak House. The BBC series is just superb. That's all. J x

Xmas TV II

Downton: still the capacity to surprise. I didn't see that coming at all. I still have my shocked face on the following morning.

This may also be due to the fact that have just discovered that Bents doesn't open on Boxing Day. What madness is that? My mother wants to go and now we have no idea what to do today... I'll let you know when we've decided. J x

Xmas TV I

Dr Who. Loved it. One of the best I've seen for a long long while. Like the new companion too. And some really good dialogue. All this plus Richard E grant overacting like only he can. Fabulous.

Also need to mention La Cenerentola which was luscious and gorgeous and beautiful to look at and listen to too.

Just awaiting Downton now. :-) J x

Merry Christmas Fellow Bloggees

As usual, it's been a present-fest here at Lewis towers. Everything from a Christmas T-shirt to a cushion featuring a lumberjack in a onsie by way of woodland themed drinking glasses and theatre tickets. Thank you all for your generosity and your inventiveness. Less kind wishes go to anyone who felt it appropriate to offer me cards/gifts smothered in glitter. It is now everywhere and so I have had to take the unfortunate decision to not wear my new cobalt blue cashmere jumper. Luckily I have a new (machine washable) T-shirt I can wear so not all is lost.

Have just had half a glass of champagne whereas the Ageds are glugging it back like its going out of fashion. Luckily it has been a bit of a booze rich present season for them and so they won't be running out anytime soon. I expect them both to be asleep by 1400.

TV looks a bit rubbish today - Dr Who and Downton apart - so it's lucky that I have 2 seasons of The Walking Dead to watch on DVD. Will probably need Ageds to be asleep before I start watching that though. I'm not sure zombies will be their thing.

Well I hope y'all have a fabulous day and thank you once again for the gifts and kind wishes. Love to you all. J x

The Eve of the Eve

Didn't have a good night. Night sweats and back pain. Otherwise feeling good though. Temperature has stayed down so far which is good and although I shall be going to Sainsburys with my parents today I have been forbidden to get out of the car as apparently supermarkets are awash with bugs and germs. I'm fairly sure it's supermarkets in general and not just supermarkets in Salford that my mother is referring to...

Not much else to report. Michele and DD have arrived safely in West Wales for their Xmas break. Looked the house up on the net and it looks lovely. I suspect it will feel a little overcrowded come Boxing Day when the other 6 arrive though. Hopefully they'll have some decent weather because the house looks out to sea. I'm sure they'll enjoy themselves good weather or not.

The Aged Ps move in with me today for the Xmas period. Hopefully no rows! Although one or two family rows over Xmas are part of the tradition I think :-)

That's all for now. May blog later. Oh, just need to apologise to my Manchester Mum & Dad who point out that they haven't abandoned me even if everyone else has! J x

All Gone

So it's Saturday which means that everyone I know has now gone away for Xmas. Including the Aged Ps (although of course they've "gone away" to Manchester).

Went to Annie's for a meal last night. Very good food but I'm still not convinced they've got the tone quite right for a city centre venue. Some confusing mixed signals in the design IMHO. But it's early days. I'm sure Chris and Jenny will work it out.  Probably overdid it though. 3 hours, 3 courses, 3 martinis.  Not a good idea. Suffered last night because of it but luckily no ill effects today.

That's all for the moment. J x

Second Dose

So I went back to Wythenshawe hospital yesterday for my second week dose of chemo. DD was unavailable (probably on another birthday event) so I was taken by Maggie (my "Manchester Mum" - long story). All went well and I've done OK since then. Looking back on my blog the effects of the second dose started to really kick in from tomorrow so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

The Aged Ps have arrived safely and they called round last night (they're staying in The Midland for a few nights) it was really good to see them. They left about 1900 to go and have a meal at the hotel but talking to them this morning I don't think they particularly enjoyed the food. They will call back here today at 1700 before we all go out for something to eat this evening. I will therefore be spending today conserving my strength. :-) Jim may call round later too and it will be good to catch up with him.

No other news at the moment so I'll sign off and update later if I remember anything. J x

Misleading Television Programme Titles

Am currently watching Channel 5 (yes, really). The programme is Big, Bigger, Biggest. Leaving aside the fact that its perhaps not the programme I was hoping for, it's actually a rather interesting programme about the Panama Canal. But the most interesting thing about it is the fact that all the problems they faced building the canal had been solved in advance by the people building the Manchester Ship and Bridgewater canals. Manchester rocks.

Went to cinema to see Argo earlier. Nearly killed me getting there but journey home was surprisingly easy. Strange how that happens sometimes. I enjoyed the film - based on a true story - but I suspect it will be a little too "American" for some people's tastes. Hobbit clearly showing at AMC so that will likely be a post Xmas/New Year trip (or even more than one).

Week 2 chemo dose tomorrow. The lovely Maggie will be my companion du choix. Thank you darling. Also, Aged Ps arrive late afternoon. Let Xmas begin.... J x

Sorry Missed Yesterday

Nothing to worry about, just a little busy with this and that. This cycle of chemo is going better than the first one still which I'm pleased about. Still got some of the queasiness, bad taste and smell etc but its not as bad as it was last time. Didn't make it out of the house yesterday but did walk as far as the local Sainsburys on Monday - which really knackered me. Will attempt a walk to the AMC cinema this afternoon (going to see Argo) so let's see how that goes. In the meantime I need to start doing some tidying up ready for the arrival of the Aged Ps onThursday.

Also have the second week chemo shot tomorrow and the District Nurses have been this morning to take blood. Maggie is taking me so that will be a new experience. Looking forward to catching up with her. And also feeding back to her on the delicious curry sauce Paul had prepared for me which I used to make a quick and dirty veg curry last night - I was so hungry! But it was really tasty and just spicy enough for me. Indeed my appetite seems to be quite good at the moment so I'm making the most of it and trying to build myself up a bit and catch up on all the weight I've lost up until now.

I must also thank the lovely John & Janice for the really tasty veg soup they made for me. It was gorgeous and really filling. But can I just ask people to hold off on bringing me any more food until after Xmas please? My freezer is full and I shall be eating very well indeed over Xmas as a result. Thank you all.

And that's all for the moment I think. I may update again later following the cinema. Oh, apart from to say well done Toby on passing your rest. I'm really pleased. J x

Now Have App On IPad

First attempt seems to be working. Fingers crossed that normal service will be resumed. Can't see where to add photos yet but early days... :-). J x

Hurrah

After many, many (many) attempts I have finally managed to get onto the blog via my iPad. Maybe I need to download a special ap for it on this device?  I've no idea, I'll try and explore this option today.   I also need to look into syncing iTunes across my different platforms because that doesn't seem to be happening as seamlessly as one might hope from an Apple product either.  Maybe my iPad experts could weigh in on this debate?

Anyway, back to the important stuff: the party. It was a huge success. Venue was fabulous, loads of groovy people turned up and even I lasted 2 hours! Most importantly of all, DD had a brilliant time and looked absolutely beautiful.  Stunning midnight blue dress. There will be a DVD I believe.

In the end I went with the lace shirt which was the right choice because I don't get to wear it that often otherwise. If I ever get syncing done properly I'll post a photo of me and 'er and you can judge for yourselves.

Health wise I'm feeling OK. Tired and that awful taste has started in my mouth. Night sweats still occurring every night but otherwise I'm sleeping well (for which read "a lot"). It doesn't feel as bad this time which could be doctor the lower dose, could be down to the weight of expectations or a bit of both.  And its still early days. Long way to go yet so let's not get too excited.  I'm just taking each day/hour/moment as it comes. And I think that's all for the moment. Will post again (iPad willing) later if anything else occurs.  J x

Tartan or Lace?

Oh the dilemma.  Can't decide which shirt to wear.  Before you all weigh in about age and appropriateness... first of all get a life and second of all these are regular shirts we are talking about one of which has some lace attached to it and one of which has some random bits of tartan sewn onto it.  They're both Comme Des Garçons shirts and so are timeless and yet insanely fashionable, ordinary and yet eye wateringly expensive (but then don't forget I will be wearing the pony coat too - and Fig your lips are still sealed on that I hope you know): ready to wear at haute couture prices.  I've no idea what to do.  Tartan is my "Festival Shirt" and so has been seen by some before - but I love it.  Lace has only ever been worn once before so very few people will have seen it - but does that tell its own story?  Oh I don't know, turn up at the party or read the blog tomorrow to find out how I solve this conundrum.  That's all.  J x

It's Party Time

DD's big do today. Looking forward to it immensely. Am preparing by sleeping a lot. Otherwise feeling not too bad. Which is good but then am on the intense steroid/mega anti-sickness drugs for three days after Chemo 1. So it's all quite clever timing really. Lets hope the lighting tonight is kind (by which I mean low) and I may even look good. Won't outshine Madame though as have seen the outfit and she will look stunning. That's all. Will blog party tales later/tomorrow. J x