Twitter Says This Is True

I've no idea. But if it is, it's blown my mind....

"If our sun were the size of a white blood cell, the Milky Way galaxy would be the size of the continental U.S."

How small are we? Will do an update blog later on this morning.... J x

Twitter

"Just how hairy was the person who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?" Tee hee. J x

The Lights! The Lights!

My switches are switched and working. The lights are out but somebody's home.... J x

And We're.....

.....back on the trial. I know, I know.  But let's temper our annoyance with process and procedures and left hand/right hand, NHS bureaucracy etc etc with the sheer unadulterated joy of (as at this precise instant in time) being back on the damn thing and therefore having some hope of.... what? Not really sure but I feel hopeful. And that's a good feeling and I'd like to stay with that for a little bit.

In other good news the chest infection has cleared up and so we're also back on my rapid steroid detox programme although it's even more rapid than it was before. So I need to be a bit careful and keep an eye on my body's reaction to the withdrawal. Likelihood is I'm going to feel tired and lethargic (I'll add in irritable, they didn't say irritable but I know what I'm like when I'm tired and lethargic) but hopefully no worse than that. But, discretion being the better part of valour, I've decided not to go to Swansea for the weekend as I'd originally planned just in case it does go beyond tired and lethargic. Better to be up here and close to The Christie in case we do need any interventions of any sort.  Dad understands and is just really happy that I'm back on the trial (insert usual disclaimers about not knowing yet whether I'll get new drug). On current plans and assuming the detox works we could be looking at randomisation on Monday. But then we also need to re-do all the tests that are now out of date for the trial - CT scan (will be a last minute call on a cancellation), blood tests (hundreds) and lung function stuff. Oh you can just imagine the arrangements to be made and forms to be filled in.  

I've also lost more weight and so carer in chief has now started nagging about drinking more Ensure Plus. That's fine. I can do that. 

And I'm going to stop there for now. May report later (although there's football to watch and possibly cry over). J x

Oooooh look at the time.....

...... Cagney & Lacey. :-) J x

Lovely Day

Sunshine. Always does one good to see some sun. Shining a light into those dark corners and illuminating things (such as an heterosexual past apparently) that one had tried to put behind one - but your dark secrets always find you out..... :-) Only joking Jane, good to have you aboard the Lewis Cancer Support Wagon, feel free to make as many or as few contributions as you like!

I'm pleased to report that the antibiotics seem to be doing the trick (yes, I'll make sure I finish the course) and my chest infection feels a little less chesty and a little less infection-y..... Still taking it easy though as instructed by the Carer in Chief.

Watched all 3 episodes last night of 37 Days. What a superb programme. Absolutely fascinating. No idea why I've become a bit of a WW1 fanatic of late but the BBC seems to have done a great job in bringing together a disparate suite of programmes in various formats looking at the whole thing from diverse viewpoints. Well done Auntie Beeb, I say.

Dad seems to be doing OK back in Wales and, all things being equal - such as a clean bill of health and permission granted to travel, I shall pop down to see him next weekend.

That's all. J x

The Upside

.... to an enforced confinement is that the BBC are re-running Cagney & Lacey in the afternoons..... Just saying. And the road sign "Entering Queens" still makes me smile. J x

Clinic Feedback

So turns out the reason I'm feeling so rotten is that I have a chest infection and thrush in my mouth and throat.  So I'm on a 7 day course of antibiotics, 7 day course of anti-thrush medication, plus mouthwashes and other stuff.  And in the meantime I'm to stay on my current dose of steroids and stop the weaning process.  Looking forward this probably means my place on the drug trial will be in jeopardy but there's not a lot I can do about that. We need to clear up the infection. So in addition to taking the medication for 7 days I will also be taking it easy for the next 7 days and not getting out and about as much as I have of late.  May well allow me to catch up on some paperwork at home and some other clearing out I've been meaning to do for ages.

Saw Orlando last night at The Royal Exchange. Fabulous play. I urge you to go and see it if you get the chance.  I may well try and read the book now too. Suranne Jones is a really good actress but she was well supported by her fellow actors. And the writing was really good. I loved it.

That's all. J x

Oh

And we've passed the 90,000 hits point. Yay. J x

Advisory

For anyone passing the flat please note that my lights will be switched on night and day for the next week or so (long story, won't bore you). Please don't worry that I've collapsed in a heap of my own vomit and excrement and you need to call the police (or at least a fumigator or anything). It's just a "light switch thing". Normal service will hopefully be restored soon under the capable hands of Scott the electrician....  :-) J x

Don't we look lovely?

Yes we do. We look fabulous. 

Wedding was lovely.  Venue was lovely. Becky and Scott were gorgeous. Met some nice people. Had a dance. What more do you want?  That's all. J x

On Off On Off

Honestly, I've no idea really where we are with this now.  Having posted a really positive couple of posts I then proceeded to have a day and night from hell. But it was only one day and night and the memory is fading now so I won't bore you with all the details.  Suffice to say there was some pain, some constipation, quite a lot of sleeplessness and generally a feeling of being rather wretched.  But I'm sort of over that now and feeling a bit better. Yay.

More worryingly is the drug trial position which isn't as clear cut as I thought.  My main worry had been the radiotherapy and how that might interfere with the drug. Turns out it might have affected it but the radiotherapy itself was short lived and as long as there is a couple of weeks' gap it's not a problem.  The problem is the steroids....

I was put on a really high dose of steroids when I was first admitted to hospital following the MRI scan on the Monday (2? 3? weeks ago?). They were used to try and shrink the tumours away from compressing my spine and paralysing my legs. The radiotherapy takes time to build up and have a shrinking effect and, in fact, actually makes things worse to start with because it inflames the area.  Hence the high steroid dose.

The trouble with the steroids is that they affect the immune system too (there's a whole load of complicated science stuff around this and how your body needs to produce its own steroids too). And the trial drug is designed to act on my immune system. So you can see the problem for the Americans in this.

The other problem with steroids is that you can't just stop taking them. Apparently. You need to be slowly weaned off them.  Which then starts interfering with the trial parameters because they want to get up and running and don't want to wait around while I'm being slowly weaned.  So we've decided to up the weaning pace i.e. wean me more quickly than would otherwise be the case.  But this carries it's own dangers.  Will the inflammation from the radiotherapy reassert itself which could mean that we end up back with compression of the spine and paralysed legs? So I need to be really careful and keep a close eye on all my symptoms.  But fingers crossed we're steering a middle course that allows me to stay on the trial. Watch this space.

In the meantime it's off to the wedding of Michele's daughter tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to it. Becky is a beautiful woman and is going to look so fantastic and Scott is really handsome too and going to look just as good.  And of course me and DD are going to look just fabulous :-) I'll try and post some photos here for you all to see just how fabulous everyone looks on the day. 

And finally, I've won an award. The Vicky Clement-Jones award for volunteering. Awarded to me by Macmillan for all the work I've done for them.  I cannot even begin to tell you how chuffed I am about this.  It's just a certificate and I'm sure it's handed out to hundreds of volunteers all the time but it means someone noticed what I do and appreciates it. And I'm over the moon about it. And I believe that the may be an expenses paid trip to London to collect the certificate too. I'll take that. :)

Just back from seeing Dallas Buyers Club.  What a fantastic film. Really enjoyed it. And a real tour de force in acting from Matthew.  

That's all. J x

All Good

Feeling good today. And that's a nice feeling. 

Had a haircut this morning - told my hairdresser he could be radical because by this time next week I could be on a chemotherapy regime which would mean it would all fall out anyway..... But bless him, he didn't do too much damage and I will look vaguely respectable for the wedding on Saturday (you can breathe easily now Michele). 

Intended to buy a tie in town to wear on Saturday but really should have taken my shirt with me so I could choose the right colour. I didn't so I'll have to go back but I did buy a belt instead which cheered me up even more.  Yes, Hermes.

What else has happened?  

Ah yes, Sunday saw an intrepid band of 6 trooping out to Salford Quays to attend the recording of a new quiz show fronted by Andi Peters (yes, that one from all those years ago). He doesn't look bad for his age bless him but it's a dog of a show.  It's called Ejector Seat and seems to have no more premise than that someone thought of a set and then bolted a quiz onto the top of it.  Yes the contestants do, sort of, get "ejected" from their seats if they get enough questions wrong but it's just stupid and boring.  It airs in April sometime so keep an eye out and you may see us in the audience.  Me and Denise are the ones at the back complaining to each other about it and Lesley's the one answering her phone....

Went to Damson for a meal first. Not been there before. I really enjoyed the food (as did Gill, Lesley and Denise) but I didn't like the place and I thought the service was bad given that it's supposed to be a top notch restaurant. Won't be going again I imagine.  It was a long day out all told and by the time Denise  and I had run (yes, run, and me with lung cancer and everything) for the tram I was well ready for my bed.  Coiuuldnt sleep of course because of buzzing on steroids but I was physically exhausted.

Radiotherapy yesterday. The last one. Woo hoo. Went without a hitch. In fact went so smoothly that I was done and dusted and out of the place even before we'd reached my official, appointment time. That's not happened before. Left them muffins and brownies. 

Denise was round last night for me to try out a new recipe - mushroom stroganoff - from The Times that day. It was quite tasty if I say so myself and Denise finished off a huge plate of it so she clearly enjoyed it too.  I think you have to be very careful with dried mushrooms though. They're a very powerful taste and can overwhelm a bit which they did on my plate. I'd obviously just given myself a big spoonful of them.

We watched the Jeremy Paxman series on the First World War whilst eating. It's been a really good series and incredibly thought provoking for me.  So much stuff I didn't know and so many assumptions I'd made.  There are a couple of programmes on the BBC this week about whether or not we should have entered the war in the first place and I'll be watching those to get more info too.  Be interesting to see what they say life might have been like now if we hadn't gone in....

Seeing Sarah from Leeds later for an early tea at Felicinis and looking forward to seeing her because it's been far too long.  And then it's clinic at The Christie tomorrow. Still won't know what drug I'll be getting next week though - will find that out on Monday. Watch this space. As soon as I know, you'll know. 

And that's all. As I say, feeling good at the moment and just riding that wave.... J x

Damien Hirst

Didn't he open a bar a few years back called Pharmacy?  I'm thinking he might have been onto something. I think someone should invent the paracetamol martini and take the world by storm.  Just saying.

Anyway, I'm about to have two paracetamol followed by a martini so I'm there already really.  

Otherwise it's a quiet night in, in front of the telly for me.  Spent the morning shopping for a wedding suit (achieved, New & Lingwood at House of Fraser), then lunch at DD's with her, Dave and Gaynor before they all trooped off to the football (boring game but a win apparently) and I trooped back for a snooze on the sofa (achieved, and very nice too). Now awake and wondering what, the situation unfolding in Ukraine apart, to watch on TV whilst combining my booze and drugs.  The Season III Game of Thrones DVD box set arrived yesterday so that might be a good place to start. But then I've also got a load of stuff on my Sky Box that needs watching and clearing.  Anyway, none of it will get done just sitting here blogging so, thank you for checking in, I'm feeling not too bad at the moment so I wish you all a good night. That's all. J x

Fatigué

That's your actual French for "fatigued". Which is how I've been feeling all day. At least my body has but my mind is still a little buzzing. It just makes life and communication a little difficult when my own body is pulling me in opposite directions. I apologise therefore for any failures in communication that happen over the next week or so whilst I get over this radiotherapy (last session on Monday). 

Having said that, I'm waking up a little bit now having dozed on and off for most of the afternoon.  Might try cooking some food (pasta and sauce out of a jar!) in a bit. I'll certainly need to get myself a martini to start me on that process I think. 

Pretty much cancelled everything else I'd prearranged for this weekend (a place in the audience for a television pilot presented by Andi Peters on Sunday afternoon apart - I'm guessing no one would notice anyone walking out of that!). 

So that's where we are. More news and stuff as it happens (just don't expect much to happen in the week ahead). J x

Good News

I'll just put the good news up front - I'm still on the drug trial. Despite everything that has gone on (see below) I have not been disqualified and my "place" remains safe.  This is a huge relief to me - and I'm sure to others too - but of course we mustn't lose sight of the fact that I still haven't been randomised yet so we still don't know whether I'm on chemo or the trial drug.  But it's one more hurdle overcome and so it's good news. Phew.

I'll be randomised, as far as I know at the moment, on 03/03/14 and start whichever treatment I've been allocated on 05/03/14. 

But let's step back in time a bit.....

First of all sorry for the "radio silence" there has been here the past few days. Unfortunately there are times when I really need to look after myself and narrow my focus down to me and the next steps I need to take to progress and sometimes that doesn't allow room for me to be open and share with you all exactly what is going on.  Sorry but it's the only way I can cope sometimes. 

So anyway, hospital. You all know how I feel about hospitals.  About nurses. About the whole lack of an actual focus on the patient. But my views did change a little in The Christie. I saw nurses working together as a team to deliver an integrated system of care and, particularly, pain relief to patients and I was glad of it.  So I will admit that not all nurses are bad.  To be fair I've never actually said that - the lovely Debbie for instance we all know is like a beacon of hope for me.

But my time in hospital was not all pleasant.  I hate the lack of being in control. I hate the little annoying things that happen day in day out.  I hate that people say they will do things and then don't. 

And whilst it was great to see Dad, the timing for his visit could have been better. I was just out of hospital and it was his first visit to Manchester without Mum.  We both needed support with what we had to deal with but neither of us was able to give as much as we wanted to the other (at least that's how I felt). We're also both going through the readjustment to our lives and our relationship without Mum there. Because Mum was a huge part of our life.  She really was the core and centre of our family and I for one perhaps didn't appreciate that enough while she was alive. It's going to take time obviously and I suppose we did take some small steps whilst he was up so things may look better in the long run.  Well see. But as I say above, when I'm faced with things like hospital, my focus really narrows down to me and me alone.  Now I'm out though I can feel myself starting to open up (and hence my ability to start writing the blog again). Hopefully I'll regroup for the rest of this week while I finish off the radiotherapy (last treatment is next Monday) and then relaunch myself on the world next week (I've booked my hair cut for next Tuesday just to make sure I'm fully prepared!). Watch this space fuckers.....

That's all. J x

Day One Home

Slept 10 hours last night. Feel weak but better than I did before I went into hospital. Dad on his way up despite some travel disruption in Wales. Flat in some sort of shape to receive him mainly as a result of the efforts of DD (and Hilda). Football on telly at 5 so he and DD can both sit down to watch that. Dad here until Tuesday (it's his birthday tomorrow) so expect scant updates here before Wednesday as likely to be busy. Start radiotherapy again Monday for another 6 sessions. But doing OK all things considered and thanks for all your good wishes. J x

Home

Finally. Need to sort discharge procedures at The Christie because it crosses over from being annoying to actually compromising patient care in my opinion. Will be working on this once I get some strength back after radiotherapy. 

But thank you all, and especially Denise, for getting me this far so far. J x

Waiting

Worst part now. Waiting on take out drugs. Not only that but because they need the bed they've moved me off the ward into the "discharge lounge". Well, it's as far away from the idea of "lounge" as it's possible to get. Essentially it's 5 chairs they had a budget for but no room to put them in, stuck in a corner and surrounded by big signs saying "DONT GO HOME WITHOUT YOUR DRUGS". It's a bit like the waiting room in Beetlejuice except you don't have the numbered tickets to count you down. We could be here forever. I'll let you know. J x

Seen It All!

Debbie with the Big Wigs! Of course I've seen the very lovely Debbie in many situations before (both at work and on coffee breaks) and with some fairly Big Wigs too (young Sean is, after all, Head of Head & Neck and that's not to be sneezed at) but this time she was in a long train of really important looking people one of whom actually had a suit and tie on and trust me you've really made it in the NHS when you wear a suit and tie. Unless you're a woman of course (sorry Yvonne) but I've not really worked out the official Woman's Heirarchical Dress Code for doctors yet. I suspect though that it starts somewhere around Next and progresses ever upwards to proper understated (proper, not diffusion line) DKNY. All help gratefully received though. 

Anyway, Debbie was in the tail of the Slevin Satellite speeding through The Christie firmament. But do you know what? She may have been positioned in the tail but she sparkled every bit as brightly as the head. And you just knew that if you wanted a sensible answer to a sensible (or indeed nonsensical) question, she was your port of call. And she has now, indeed, just spent far more time than I deserve helping me out with my education programme for my new student nurse (Elanor, 3 days on the job, heart in the right place but doesn't know her way round an Obs Chart - or rather, now knows her way round an Obs chart) and answering all my questions. 

So I just want you all to join me in saying a great big THANK YOU to the very lovely  Debbie for her very lovely help. My very lovely Christie experience would not have been as very lovely without her. J x

What A Nice Young Man

So had a lovely chat with Alex this morning. He was the Medical Uni student assigned to me (they were everywhere on the ward today so not just me being singled out). He listened more than he talked which is, of course, what every good health care provider should do. So I told him my story. Pretty much all of it so, as you can imagine, he's a very good listener indeed!

Also gave him blog address so he'll be checking back later to make sure I've been nice about him. He also asked permission to circulate it round other medical students which I said I'd be happy for him to do so either I'll be swamped, or trolled or they'll show the same level of apathy around commenting that the rest of you do! 

Sean and Debbie also came up to see me. Honestly if I could sweep those two up in my arms along with Dr Yvonne. And Nurse Jackie and Sister Leslie over at Wythenshawe of course and hug them and squeeze them all at the same time I would. 

Steroids still seem to be working (hence above bounciness and relative pain- freeness). More later (didn't really have anything to say but I didn't want Alex to visit the site and go away disappointed that he hadn't been mentioned :-)

Oh, and finally, the last thing any health care provider should say when they leave a patient is: "Is there anything else I can help you with?" Because until they've done that, they haven't finished their job. J x

Twitter

"A sandbag?" - Lady in Bracknell.

What Is It About Me?

The ward has already lined me up to give a talk to medical students later on today... J x

No Bowels Today

At least none that I need to talk about. All functioning well now and I had about 6 hours sleep last night which is good for a hospital. I also have to say that I continue to be impressed by the standard of nursing at The Christie and not just from individuals but across the piece, top to bottom. And those that have been with me a while will know that I'm not a fan of nurses and the various others who work in the wards generally. So there. I've said it. Slap me in the face with it later when I change my mind.... :-) J x

People Come And Go Round Here So Quickly

Saw Physio mere moments after my last post and she says she's happy for me to dance down the corridors if I want to so that'll be good news for the night staff I'm sure! 

Also, just seen Dr Yvonne and she thinks she'll be in a position to organise my discharge on Friday. More good news :-)

Had quite a long chat with Dr Y. Her views are that she can't guarantee me any outcomes from the current radiotherapy treatment neither a pain-free period nor a lower limb paralysis free period. Obviously I'm more concerned about the latter. However, she will say that it appears that my tumours are "radio-sensitive" (hence their response to treatment last time) and she hopes this continues. They're not completely radio-sensitive though otherwise they wouldn't be back at all.  This response makes me somewhat happy. 

On the pain front however I am much less concerned as I feel more in control of my pain and it seems, at least according to the Christie Palliative Care Team, that there is no upper limit to the amount of pain relief I can have. This means morphine folks. Maximum Morphine. Love the idea of that: Maximum Morphine. I bet there's a snow boarder out there with that name. But as I have NO TELLY I can't watch the Winter Olympics to let you know. Actually there's a big telly in a room at the end of the really long Florence I'm on so may pop down later and have a look. 

On the Drug Trial front, Dr Y has emailed the Trial sponsors (in America) with details of my radiotherapy and proposed new dates for the randomisation (03/03) and treatment start date (05/03). Hopefully they're all laid back Californian surfers (with names like Maximum Morphine) and will just say "that's good shit man - although given last night's shenanigans, maybe not - and just let us get on with it. Potentially though they could also pull the plug as we've now introduced more random elements to the programme. 

We may well also have to consider the surgical option further down the line so we're not burning bridges with Salford just yet although we're a little annoyed with them over their actions on Saturday night (we stress that there are other people in Salford and they shouldn't all be tarred with the surgeon's brush...). But we Mancunians have wanted those Salford Bridges pulled down for a long time. Coming over here and stealing our TV studios.... 

I will also be getting in touch with St Anne's Hospice soon too so I can see what services (including complementary therapies for my carer) that they offer. 

In other news, I'm feeling calmer and more relaxed about things. Hope you are too :-) J x

So It's Morning (Just) As I Write This...

... and feeling better despite terrible night which I'll spare you the details of because any tale would involve a lot of use of the word "bowels".

Had radiotherapy this morning and it went without a hitch. Also long visit from Palliative Care Team. Seeing Yvonne this afternoon hopefully. 

As it happens the ward I'm on is referred to as a "Nightingale Ward" so I wasn't far out with my description. There are two if them at The Christie and they are used as decant wards for occasions like (now) refurb work to a ward or a "deep clean" of a ward. 

Still awaiting visit from physio and OT. Better get here soon as I need to be OK'd to get out of bed and get to a toilet when I want because I don't want another "bowels" situation. 

Spoke to Dad this morning and he's understandably worried but not a lot I can do about that at the moment. Hopefully I'll be more mobile and able to get around when he comes up. I will need to be treated as an inpatient for at least 5 radiotherapy sessions (Monday will be last of these unless they treat me Saturday - happens sometimes). Otherwise 10 radiotherapy sessions as an inpatient. My preference obviously for a 5/5 split. 

And that's all for now. Will blog later. J x

Further Running Not Literal Update

Salford can't even be bothered to see me. No idea why. So treatment option is radiotherapy and we started that this afternoon. It's not ideal and a bit dangerous re damage to bones at the radiotherapy site that's been done before but since the alternative is lower limb paralysis we need to live dangerously. 

Have been moved off the (beautiful) assessment unit onto Ward 3 which just looks like something out of the Crimea. It's terrible. I'm not sure I'll last here. Need to speak to Yvonne tomorrow. She's coming up to see me about 1500. 

There are also no telly facilities on Ward 3 and I just splashed out on 7 days' worth once I knew I was going to be an inpatient for 10 days or so... Annoying. 

Not happy. But then I didn't sleep well last night so I may be over sensitive. Let's see how I feel in the morning. J x

Update On The Run (not literally)

Have been admitted to The Christie following my scan yesterday. They are worried about a new tumour compressing my spine. Have had to lie still on my back all night on a special bed and will, today I think, be transferred to Salford Royal for them to look at me. No other info at the moment. Will update when I can. Stay strong. J x

Update

So things are moving pretty rapidly now (and not just because I'm driving a Jaguar - although that helps). 

Had a lovely time in Sheffield with Jane & Bill. Always good company and they helped me work out some of the controls on the Jag so I now know how to set the cruise control and the speed limiter. Thank you guys :-)  And the Nest shop in Sheffiled just does the best furniture - we were all agreed on that.  Lunch was a little less successful simply because my pain situation meant that I couldn't really eat and didn't have an appetite.

However, it was when I returned to Manchester that things started to hot up. How long have you got?

Firstly, having parked the Jag, when I got out of it and tried to walk across the garage towards the lifts, my legs gave way beneath me and I just fell to the floor (luckily not injuring myself in any way). But it just happened out of the blue.  I couldn't explain it. So I picked myself up and continued my journey and then it happened again, just outside the lift. Again no other injuries but I was beginning to think that it was going to take me a long time to get through the flat door!  In actual fact, it hasn't happened again thank goodness.

So I was straight onto the NHS Out of Hours service (why do these things always happen at weekends?) as well as an email to my oncologist just to be on the safe side.  And I have to say this is one of those occasions when the NHS came up trumps.  The out of hours people advised me to speak to their GP who would (and did) phone me back within 20 minutes. The GP said I probably needed an assessment at an A&E and advised me to get to either MRI or Wythenshawe (since I was already receiving treatment there). She said she'd ring an ambulance for me but I said I was happy to get a taxi.

In the meantime my oncologist had phoned me (she is so good Yvonne) and said that she was trying to get me a bed at The Christie so that I could be assessed there.  She said the on call medical oncologist at The Christie would phone me. Which is exactly what happened. She said that she thought I needed a scan to assess whether the tumour on my back was causing "spinal cord compression" which is what had led to the weakness in my legs.  Unfortunately The Christie didn't have the facilities, out of hours, to carry out the scan and therefore I should attend one of the Manchester A&Es. We agreed eventually that I should attend the A&E at Salford Royal hospital since they were the hospital already being consulted over whether or not to carry out surgery on my back.

So I went to Salford Royal and they did all sorts of tests to assess whether I had feeling throughout my lower limbs, which I did, and my back passage, which - oooh Matron - I did.  They therefore didn't want to carry out a scan since there were no indicators that I needed one urgently. So they discharged me eventually with a prescription for some steroids to relieve swelling.  Unfortunately as soon as I arrived home I began a night of vomiting which lasted from 2300 until 0900 the following morning.  Since I hadn't eaten anything there was nothing to bring up but my body insisted on going through the motions anyway. Meanwhile of course my Dad, in Swansea, DD, in Brompton Lakes and Mrs T in Coldstream were all frantically trying to get information out of me as to the current state of play.  Well I had no signal in A&E and, once I'd started throwing up, very little opportunity to text or phone.  I was exhausted in the morning and just about managed to get out a round robin text to them all that I wasn't dead but was trying to get some sleep.  DD was cutting short her break (that woman is such a star but I hate doing this to her) to come and look after me.  Which is what happened.

I got steadily better and stronger on Sunday and managed to keep down a few Ensure Pluses and today I feel almost back to normal although still a little weak.  Have exchanged a few emails and phone calls with different medical personnel today and the current position is as follows -

* First port of call is the surgeons.  Do they want to (or feel they are able to) operate? If the answer to that question is "yes" then we go ahead with the operation.  This may put my place on the trial in jeopardy (they aren't going to 'randomise' me today for instance) but the redoubtable Yvonne will talk to the trial sponsor to see if they are willing to keep my place open.

* if the surgeons say "no" then it's full speed ahead with the trial, they'll 'randomise' me tomorrow and I'll start whichever of the treatments the randomiser decrees I'm to receive on Wednesday.

* In the meantime I shouldn't take the steroids (had I mentioned those yet? Whole different story, don't worry) unless I have another "episode" of leg weakness. 

So you're now all as up to date as I am.  I had intended on boycotting watching the Winter Olympics on account of the gay thing but given that I'm likely to be stuck at home for some time now I may just go ahead and watch it anyway. And we've won a medal. And the Russian's ice dance was just so beautiful even if they didn't score more than the Canadians (anyone got any idea what happened in Vancouver by the way - they're all talking about it without saying exactly what happened. Maybe what happens in Vancouver stays there?). So if there's a Gay God up there I hope he'll forgive me....

That's all. J x

Oh Twitter :-)

It's Adam and Eve, not Vladimir and Dmitri. #sochi2014

In other news, pain now seems to be under control. Having a good day today. Lunch at Bents with the delectable Jim who, it turns out, is not a speed junkie after all #pedaltotheJaguarcarpet  Who knew? Sorry for scaring you honey. 

Yesterday spent interviewing Macmillan job applicants. Is there no one with vision out there? It was fun though and they were all really nice people and we appointed someone. 

Dad seems to be doing OK at the moment too. Which reminds me, I need to start clearing up the spare room for his arrival next Saturday. Sunday is his birthday too so all cards c/o me. Especially the ones with money in. 

And talking of money, phoned Beneden this afternoon to cancel my membership (over 20 years) as they do nothing for people with cancer.... ....only to discover they do! Give money that is. To people with cancer. I can claim for mileage and parking to hospitals, heating bills, even holidays *flicks through Virgin Atlantic catalogue*. Fan-Bloody-Tastic. I think I'm probably even allowed to take a carer along too. Those beaches in Bermuda, sorry, recuperation clinics somewhere warm, never looked nicer....

That's all for now. Sheffield for lunch and shopping tomorrow. J x

Quick Update

Had some real pain problems today. Not sure I've felt pain like that before (except maybe post-surgery). But it's all settled down a bit now thankfully. And the trial is still on course. Spent most of the morning at The Christie. They can't do the "randomising" for the trial more than 72 hours before treatment is due to start so I'll find out Monday whether I'm on chemo or wonder drug. Frankly after this morning I don't care which it is as long as treatment occurs.........  That's all. J x

A Jolly Weekend

So it was off to Nottingham on Saturday night in the Jag accompanied by my good friend Denise.  We stayed with Chris & Dave who have a beautiful house in the suburbs (actually in "Arnold" which seems an odd name for a suburb). We spent Saturday night getting rather drunk and I'm afraid, dear readers, that I retired rather early, unable to stand the pace, and left them to it (until about 0300 in the morning apparently). Sunday morning was rather a subdued affIair therefore - only livened up by my throwing up in the toilet!  But we had a lovely lunch at Harts and then I drove home and DD and I parted company and went our separate ways. 

Today is all about Macmillan paperwork (just as soon as I've had my shower) and then tea with Lesley in town this evening which will also be lovely. I shall be consuming a meal involving lobster I've decided.  Because I've never eaten lobster so far and I feel like I should.

I'm sad to report that the increased dosages of pain relief do not appear to be working particularly well but I'll discuss this with the doctors (should I see a doctor) on Wednesday.  That's all. J x

Lung Function Tests

To Wythenshawe this afternoon (in the Jag) for a whole set of lung function tests required for the trial.  My readings were "on the low side" but I think that's only to be expected given the fact that I have lung cancer.  They were some quite fancy tests too. I even had to sit in this -

Also had a visit from the Macmillan nurse this morning. She's lovely and seems very competent so I'm glad about that.  She can also prescribe drugs which I'm pleased about too. 

I also want to take the opportunity to give a special mention here to my favourite nurse, the incredibly lovely Debbie Lovely at The Christie.  She is always so helpful and cheery that I couldn't ask for a better professional to be "on my side" going through this.  That's all.  J x

Up Up & Away

So I've seen my GP and whilst he hasn't given me any new drugs (boo) he has upped the dose of every other single drug I have (yay). Just so you know. J x

Home In Manc

Came home yesterday because I had an appointment at The Christie today only to find that it had been cancelled.  But I do have a GP appointment later as well....

So The Christie are saying at the moment that I will have my lung function tests done tomorrow (ironically at Wythenshawe) then a whole slew of blood tests next Wednesday at The Christie and, if everything goes according to plan, I should start my treatment on 12//02/14. We still don't know yet what that treatment will be though. Fingers crossed and, if I've already made arrangements with you for things to happen after 12/02/14, then we're just going to have to play it by ear I'm afraid as I don't know yet what the timing nor severity of side effects will be.  Sorry. But I need something to happen soon because the pain is getting worse.

Had an OK time in Swansea but, per above, the pain is getting worse and this wasn't helped by strange beds, strange sofas etc.  But I was glad I got the chance to go home and drive my father around a bit so that he could pick up bits and pieces and run errands etc. and he was glad to see me.  His optician has said that his eyesight is still improving but not enough yet that he'd be able to drive.  Unfortunately the optician has now gone on holiday for six weeks (yes, really) and Dad won't go to anyone else so we now have to wait.  Hopefully in six weeks' time the improvements will be sufficient for him to get his licence back.  And if it isn't then he's just going to have to get used to taking taxis and buses with the occasional lift from friends.  He will also be coming up to Manchester for his birthday on 16/02/14.

The drive home to Swansea and the drive back to Manchester was fabulous though and the car handles like a dream.  One or two niggles it has to be said (why no rear windscreen wiper?) but I'm sure I'll just get used to those over time and those I can't get used to I'll just have to get over because I love this car.  It truly is the car of a lifetime and I do not regret for one second getting it. :-)

Out for drinks at the Great John Street Hotel and thence for a meal to Dimitris with DD and Michele yesterday evening.  They didn't have much news as, apparently, what happens in Centre Parks stays in Centre Parks.  And probably a good thing too.  In to town for a coffee at John Rylands this morning (again with DD) and to pick up my jeans from the tailor's (needed new pockets - Burberry may make jeans that fit me well and last forever but they can't make pockets for toffee).  Also to dry cleaners for the removal of some suspicious looking stains from my trench coat (they may look suspicious but I have no idea where they came from).  And then, after GP visit, DD round to catch up on some more Borgen.  We were very intrigued by the first three episodes and can't wait to see where Brigitte goes with the whole new party thing (and please, no spoilers in comments if you've already seen it).

And that's all for now. J x

Twitter You Make Me Laugh...

But I've only got one egg basket. 

Home In Swansea

All is well. Journey home was fab.  I didn't go above 110 mph. Dad seems OK and we took the Jag shopping to Tescos this morning.  Just taken my cousin's husband out for a quick run over Fasirwood Common.  There are some deserted, straight roads there where you can see for miles around i.e. no one can sneak up on you.  Let's just say he's impressed with the car's performance.... :-)

Now back in the house and assisting with paperwork. That's all. J x

Just Been To Say Goodnight To The Car

It is soooooooo beautiful. Am I getting boring?  But it's true.

We also said goodbye to the Astra tonight.  I'm content though that's it's going to a good home (Toby's brother-in-law) and so will be well looked after.  This was after we'd been for a run in the Jag into the country and on the M56 for a bit.  God the acceleration is unbelievable.  You are convinced the car is going to take off. Hopefully all of you will get a chance to come for a drive in it over the next few weeks and months and will be able to agree with me :-)

And then me and DD had one of my fabulous pasta meals and watched three (yes, three) episodes of Borgen. We've only just started the latest series so please don't spoil it for us if you already know the outcome but it all seems quite exciting at the start whilst they're setting up the new party....

And so it's off to bed for me now. Long drive to Swansea tomorrow. I wonder whether I'll end up doing the trip in a shorter time or not?  Hope I don't get caught..... That's all. J x

Look!

Twitter Just Alerted Me To The Following Headline

I absolutely live this....

http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Ghost-ship-cannibal-rats-crash-Devon-coast/story-20487670-detail/story.html

In Half An Hour....

....I'll be in the car. Speechless. J x

Ha!

Apparently if your phone isn't a "smart phone" then it's a "dumb-phone" :-)  J x

Let The Joyous News Be Spread....

.... yes, yes, the wicked old witch at last is dead.  Yes we know all that.  But no.  The car.  THE CAR. The car is in Manchester. This very afternoon Denise and I are going to see it and touch it and caress it and do other, more secret, things to it too probably.  And then I will be able to pick it up tomorrow and drive it to Swansea. Yes. The open road.  The open road calls to me with its siren song: drive me, scuff me with your brakes, churn me up with your acceleration. That's what it calls.... And who am I to deny the siren song?  So a- driving, a-scuffing and a-churning I will go. Ho ho.

I am soooooooooooo excited.  You would not believe.  J x

Sorry About Shouting

Here's some humour to make you laugh....

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/married-gays-to-tour-drought-hit-countries-2014012082721

STOP SHOUTING AT ME

I'm doing the blog OK?

So where to start?  Let's start with today and then work backwards. Please bear in mind that even the last hour is beginning to fade in my mind so that by the time we get to the day before yesterday I will pretty much just be making it all up.

So Tuesday, 21/01/14.  Had tea with the ever lovely Ev, Manchester Mum & Dad and DD at Duttons.  Well when I say "tea" what I mean is they all had those ludicrous plate pyramids piled high with cakes and sandwiches and stuff plus a glass of bubbly whilst I had a cup of coffee.  I think it's fair to say that Duttons produce a "robust" high tea.  The sandwiches were of a size that could easily have qualified them to act as doorstops.  The rock cakes could have been used by ships as an anchor and after all that they couldn't even finish the brownies and the bakewells.  But the company was good and the food very tasty apparently, if robust.

Otherwise it has been a quiet day.  Had a long conversation with Macmillan about what they're doing wrong and a rather shorter conversation with Jaguar about what is happening to my bloody car.  Looks like we're back to the blue model now but he seems a little more hesitant as to whether I will get the car by Friday. I will phone him and hassle him again tomorrow.

Monday, 20/01/14. Spent most of the day at The Christie.  And I mean that literally. From 0730 to 1530.  Mix up at the booking in stage as to whether I'd had all the required blood tests before Monday to allow Monday's procedures to go ahead.  Booking in person wasn't so sure whereas me and DD were. We sat around for an hour whilst this was sorted out.  Of course we were correct so we got transferred to the day surgical unit where we sat around a bit more and had everything explained to us. From there it was down to the CT department for the CT guided biopsy.  We had everything explained to us and then I had a regular CT scan followed by another one where I had to lie on my front and they fixed a bit of wire to my back.  They do this because the wire shows up on the scan and they can then measure the scan to judge the distance from the wire to the tumour. They then replicate this measure on my back so they can be sure they're getting the right stuff.  Having done all the measurements they then inject a local anaesthetic (which stings quite a bit) before plunging a needle into my back and chopping off bits of tumour.  They took 5 chunks because, apparently, chunks 2, 3 and 4 weren't of the required quality.  How they can tell is anyone's guess.  But chunks 1 and 5 were quality chunks and so we were good to go.  It was then back to the day surgical unit for blood pressure etc checks and then I had to wait around (DD had gone shopping by this stage) for 2 hours before having an X Ray (presumably to check I wasn't bleeding to death internally). Having checked that I then telephoned my chauffeuse and was picked up and dropped home.  On arrival home I saw a letter from The Christie calling me in for a CT scan on Wednesday (tomorrow)!  Phoned them up and they said it had been cancelled.  It's almost as if the right hand doesn't realise there's a left hand and that they both work with the same patient.

DD called around later for the Coronation Street episodes.  Very moving I thought but ultimately a little unsatisfactory. I'm guessing they had to be quite circumspect about what they showed and how much explanation they gave because both episodes were pre-watershed.  But I think they should do a separate hour long special looking at the whole issue of illness and suicide and quite how one manages a completely painless and calm suicide. And they should show it post-watershed so they can treat their audience like adults.  But that's my only criticism. I thought the writing and acting and the whole handling of the issue was done brilliantly.

DD and I had decided that since it had been a long day with an early start we'd both fancy an early night so we were aiming to be done and dusted and off to bed by 2130. At 0030 the following morning however...we were still awake and I was throwing up (as you'll have seen from last night's blog) whilst Denise was doing the washing up (thank you).  But at least we'd managed to plan our day trip to London on 20/02/14 and our visit to Harrods to purchase our wedding outfits (we want to make sure no one else will be wearing what we do). Yay.

Sunday 19/01/14.  Sunday Sunday, so good to me.... Sunday. What happened Sunday?  Ah yes, nothing much. DD was stil away on her hen weekend leaving me all alone to do as I pleased.  And it pleased me to do nothing much. At least it did for most of the morning and then I started reading some Macmillan papers ahead of a meeting I have tomorrow (straight from The Christie into a Macmillan meeting) and I ended up getting all worked up and angry and annoyed so started firing off emails to all and sundry about how the whole Project is just paying lip service to the inclusion of PABCs (People Affected By Cancer) and they really need to get their act together etc etc.  It's clearly hit home with some people so fingers crossed things might start to improve (?). Watch this space.

Saturday 18/01/14.  Saturday night was a fabulous night out with the lovely Lesley in Eccles (in films this is the point where you get the sound effect of car tyres squealing to a halt)... Yes, dear readers, we parked in the Morrisons car park.  Yes, dear readers we eschewed the "vegetarian option" (we never did find out what it was) on the basis of the evidence we saw of the Hot Pot. Yes, dear readers, we did leave a little early before the raffle was called (so many prizes) and before the entertainment was over (we did however watch the Salford Seranaders - I think that's what they were called, Lesley may correct me in comments - and a barbershop quartet - average age 105). But we didn't leave before wishing Jim a very happy 65th, catching up with Pama and Geoff and meeting various former members of the Inland Revenue who, I think, may have retired from the Department before I was born. We also met up with Lizzie and Gordon.  Gordon I haven't seen for a few months but Lizzie I haven't seen for a few years.  We're both a lot slimmer than we were (me from illness and her from just being fabulous) and have vowed to catch up soon whilst she is between international engagements (I now have her phone number and shall call her next week). Also, drum rolls please, I was told that I was looking "very handsome" by a man. Yes, a man.  A gay man.  Honestly readers I can't remember the last time that happened.  I am very happy about being very handsome.  I may have to marry that man just so that he can repeat those words to me every morning.....

Friday 17/01/14 & Thursday 16/01/14. These two days have become conjoined in my (rapidly vanishing) memory because they were, of course, spent in the company of Madame La T.  Yes verily dear readers did she descend upon Manchester. But I had been sworn to secrecy. She was on a top secret mission. This is a woman who can put the Ha! Into Mata Hari. My life would have been forfeit had I breathed a word of her arrival before she surprised her friend at a leaving do. But now I can reveal that she stayed two nights with me and a spiffingly good time was had by all. From memory I'm guessing that we talked, we ate food and drank spirits. We probably walked a bit. I do remember that I loaded her car up with carrier after carrier of designer gear ready for sale in far flung countries to benefit people like Mrs M Misery Knickers. I'm sure we did stuff but my head is empty. As empty as a bendy bus on the streets of Swansea. So I apologise dear readers that I cannot give you more scurrilous gossip and rumour since there is bound to be some.  Perhaps some of my friends can fill in the gaps in comments?  Thank you friends.

And remember, don't shoot the author (nor indeed shout at him). That's all for now, early start (again) tomorrow.... Good night. J x

Just Thrown Up

Again.  Getting boring now.  Tonight's dramatic episode though was brought to you by too much Black Cow vodka.  I'm now drinking milk that isn't vodka to calm my stomach.  Loads to tell you. And I will. But tomorrow (actually later today). Nothing to be concerned about though. Stuff at The Christie went well today.  Night. J x

One More Twitter (I'm waiting to be picked up)

Practice for having your toddler on your lap on a plane by wrestling an alligator with a foghorn in a library

Twitter

I have a drinking problem; two hands and only one mouth! HAHAHA! Seriously though, it's tearing my family apart.

Everything's Fine

Loads to tell you so will update fully tomorrow when I have more time.  For now, one has to prepare oneself for a birthday party full to the ginnels with am drammers and that is no easy task.... J x

I Have In My Hands....

...Ladies and Gentlemen, an Owner's Handbook. This isn't just any Owner's Handbook, it is a Jaguar Owner's Handbook. They've got the possessive apostrophe in the right place and everything. 

It has 360 pages. And it's all in English. I'd tentatively hoped that it was in 12 different languages so I wouldn't need to read it all but no, just 360 pages of densely typed instructions in English that I need to learn. 

And I don't even have the car yet! I am promised the car by next Friday (24/01) at the latest. I'm so EXCITED. 

That's all. J x

Just Thrown Up

:-(

And I'd had a lovely night with the lovely Jacky (the one from Newcastle). :-( :-( J x

So Where Were we?

Well, DD has returned safely and is full of tales of derring do and adventures had and abysmal English performance.  But it's good to have her home and she's swung right back into her caring duties by accompanying me to The Christie today (see below). 

Before that however I made a flying visit to Swansea as father had to go into the eye clinic for tests (he'd been referred by his optician). This all happened very quickly and as I already had a Macmillan meeting I'd committed to on Monday afternoon, I had to drive down to Swansea on Monday night and then drive back to Manchester Tuesday night ready for today (see below). The journeys were horrendous. I was driving in the dark for both of them and it was raining for most of the way for both of them and there were hundreds and thousands of lorries on both of them.  To cap it all, going down, there was an accident just outside Birmingham and a football match involving Aston Villa which added about 2 hours to my journey.  Hell.  Nevertheless I was glad I was able to go down and support Dad.  He's really worried that he will be told that he can no longer drive and I have to say it's looking increasingly likely that this is what will be the outcome.

They tested his eyes at the hospital by injecting him with a dye and then photographing the back of his eye.  The consultant who we saw (and don't get me started on what a pompous idiot the man was) said that Dad has "atrophy macular degeneration" at the back of his left eye (a by-product of ageing) and possibly "wet macular degeneration" there as well (this is where the veins behind the retina grow through the retina itself and cause bleeding in the area).  This, obviously, interferes with Dad's vision.  There is a treatment that will stop the bleeding but not get rid of any of the material that has accumulated. This means the treatment won't improve his vision but simply stop it getting worse.  Dad now needs to go back to the optician to see if there are lenses that can bring his vision up to driving standard.  Dad has already booked an appointment so we should know soon. Fingers crossed because the ability to drive gives Dad a lot of independence.

So got back to Manchester last night absolutely knackered, had a small martini (honestly) to calm me down and then had the best night's sleep I've had in ages.  And so off to The Christie this morning, with my trusty carer by my side to find out what's what with the trial and stuff.  We didn't have hundreds of questions to ask because the information leaflet we had been given was fairly comprehensive.  So here's what we know - 

The trial is described as a Phase II trial and is fairly small scale.  There are approximately 9 people in the UK taking part and about 180 people worldwide.  There's a 50/50 chance of getting the regular chemotherapy (docetaxcel) or the new drug (MPDL3280A). The chemotherapy consists of 4 cycles of 3 weeks each (about 3 months) whereas the new drug consists of 16 cycles of 3 weeks each (about a year). And whilst I'm undergoing treatment I'm not to travel abroad. Although I can continue to drink alcohol.  And God knows I'm going to need to drink alcohol to make up for not being able to travel! But that does put the boot into the plans to go to Istanbul and New York this year as well as the family timeshare in Portugal. Hey ho, hopefully next year then....

I'll need to have a CT guided biopsy first so that they can collect some of the malignant material to examine in the lab and that has already been arranged for next Monday and will involve an overnight stay at The Christie. This will be my first overnighter at The Christie. Let's hope it all goes smoothly. And then I have another clinic appointment for next Wednesday which will wrap up all the other tests - ECG, echocardiogram (not the same thing apparently) etc - and then it's full steam ahead.  Dr Metcalfe, who we saw today, was very nice and certainly knew his stuff which is always encouraging, even if he did only look about 12.... So I'm thinking that treatment (of whatever sort) will start about 05/02/14. I'll let you know for certain once I know and then I can map out my good and bad weeks so that everyone knows when they can talk to me etc :-) 

And that's all for now.  Any questions, please direct them to myself or Carer Headquarters at DD Central.  J x

Sorry.....

..... no time to blog.  Preparing for The Return...... J x

Nurses, You Gotta Love Em

So, my Macmillan nurse was supposed to come and see me this afternoon at 1500. That's right. Three o'clock on a Friday afternoon.  She just phoned to say that she was having to go out now on an urgent call to a patient and she didn't know how long she was going to be.  That's fine I said. I don't need to be anywhere before 1700 so as long as you're here before 1630, no worries.  She heard what I was saying but thought in the circumstances it was probably best to rearrange the appointment. So we have. For next week. Just saying..... :-)

I'm just a little disappointed because she's a Macmillan nurse. J x

Monday Monday

So Jaguar have just phoned.  I won't know anything till Monday but David - my salesman - reckons that he'll be able to give me good news on Monday. So there we are. A waiting game.  I hate waiting. I hate not being able to control things.  I hate having to rely on other people.  But there you go. Perhaps I just need to chill out a bit, relax and let the world take care of matters for me :-) Karma and shit.

In other news, have had appointment letter for next Wednesday but not all the literature on the trial.  Appointment is at 1150 but I need to go an hour early to allow for all the blood tests.  Not sure why they don't just say the appointment is at 1050.  But it's probably something to do with waiting times and fiddling the stats :-)

That's all for now.  J x

The Course of True Love

Apparently it never runs smoothly.  Well, I can attest to that fact. I drove a Jaguar for the first time in my life this morning and fell instantly in love.  Only problem now is that Jaguar can't seem to locate a car that has all the bits and bobs on it that I want.  And there's a new model coming out in March which means they aren't making any more of the current model.  So I'm limited to what's available in the country at the moment.  And what is available is limited also because some people are also interested in those cars.  God it's frustrating. Anyway David, my salesman, says he's doing his best to try and get me what I want but it looks like there will have to be compromises made.  Should find out tomorrow the extent of those compromises.

Had a pointless meeting this afternoon. Honestly it's just too tedious to go into the details. 

Crowded schedule of pleasure and fun tomorrow so that's much better :-) J x

Full Steam Ahead

Just had a call from Dr Y.  The paperwork has all cleared so the trial will officially go ahead at The Christie. Yay.  They will also need to do a further biopsy on me to get sufficient malignant material to keep in test tubes all around the world.  Luckily the cancer has spread so far that this won't need to be a surgical procedure and they'll just stick a needle in the nearest tumour.... I'll also need to have loads of other tests, echocardiograms and the like and so it's unlikely they'll be pouring poison (old or new types not known yet) into me much before 4 weeks from now.  Whichever drug I'm on, it seems the same treatment cycle is followed - 4 treatments in 3 week cycles - so it will all last about 3 months. Which should mean it will finish in time for me to fully recover in time for my party.  Which deserves another yay.  Yay.

They'll consent me and run through everything at The Christie on Wednesday  You-know-who will be back in the country by then and looking for something the English can do successfully and so will be accompanying me i.e. no volunteers needed, thank you.  Information leaflets are in the post to me as we speak.

In other news, City are one up against West Ham.....

And that's all. J x

Being Put Forward For Trial

Yay. First step of many between here and actually being infused with the wonder drug though. And may never get there anyway even if all steps negotiated safely (just a 50/50 chance between wonder drug and usual chemotherapy). But it's a start. And I'm happy. Will update you on progress as it happens... 

The next two hurdles are - 

1.  Is all the paperwork up to date so that The Christie can "host" the trial? Dr Yvonne thinks they will sort this out successfully in time for the trial "opening" tomorrow. She will phone me tomorrow to confirm. 

2. Is there enough of my malignant "material" on hand from previous biopsies. She thinks so and, even if there isn't, it's easy enough for them to go back in and retrieve more. Obviously I would prefer this not to happen...  

That's all for now. Thank you to the lovely Michele for taking notes. J x

Vomit and Excitement

So had a lovely evening yesterday with the lovely Lesley. We ate beautiful food (cooked by my own fair hand) and watched a so-so film on the telly and talked of matters both high and low. Very nice.  As soon as she had gone however I threw up all my food.  Well nearly all of it because there seemed to be a little chilli remaining when I threw up my breakfast this morning.

But I did have a second breakfast and a second lot of painkillers plus a Berocca tablet following this morning's performance and they all seemed to stay down well enough.  Lunch (more Ensure Plus) has also seemed to stay down successfully so far.

In between breakfast and lunch I met Bill in town for a coffee at John Rylands and then we went to the Jaguar dealership on Upper Brook Street to talk Jaguar cars.  And very nice they are too. In fact I'm taking one for a test drive on Thursday (again accompanied by Bill and the salesman will sit in the back - it's rather lucky he's not a tall man because there isn't a whole lot of back for him to sit in!). Looking forward to that immensely. He'll also give me a part-ex price for my Astra.  I'm hoping it's more than mere pence....

Jude tonight with her knitting needles.  Will attempt food again but hopefully not throw it up this time.  And then it's Doctor Yvone tomorrow for discussion on treatment options.... Fingers crossed.  But I'm not sure what she's going to say about all the sickness.  I'll let you know once I know.  J x

Stats

86,670 page views.

1401 posts (including this one).

Gives an average of around 15 posts a month. 

So there. J x

2014

So, seems to be going OK so far.  Hope you all feel the same.

Not done much yet.  Everything pretty much all on hold until 07/01 when I'll find out what treatment schedule is proposed.

But I have already decided to re-do the lighting (and probably the sound system too) in the flat this winter/spring. So come the Summer, and the summer party, it will all be looking and sounding pretty schmanky panky (which in high tech terms means pretty good). 

Had a voice mail message from the lovely Fig-a-roonie today so will be contacting him tomorrow to discover how many times I will be driving my schmanky panky Jaguar car down to Brighton to see him each year. Have already worked out that it will be about 14 trips to Swansea per annum. Next on the list, talk to Bill (my leasing expert) and then a test drive.  Exciting.

Seeing Jim (hopefully) tomorrow afternoon for coffee and a catch up and then Lesley is round for tea in the evening.  Fab. OK, that's all. J x

Choice

So how does that work?

When one has too much how does one choose?

How much is too much?

So for Christmas I had a bottle of Belvedere vodka  (I adore Belvedere vodka, thank you kind gift-giver).  But this bottle came accompanied by two exquisite Belvedere shot glasses. I love these shot glasses. They are gorgeous, delicate, well-designed glasses.  But I already had a set of 6 shot glasses. So what do I do?  Do I retain 8 shot glasses - the easy choice?  Do I get rid of two shot glasses and retain a 4/2 split - the pragmatic choice?  Or do I get rid of 6 glasses and just keep the two beautiful glasses? Fuck me it's not easy.  And to be honest, it makes little difference when talking about shot glasses since they're so small. But you get the point. What if the bottle of Belvedere had been accompanied by two lovely Belvedere sofas? Or two lovely Belvedere Jaguar cars (and yes Maggie, in those circumstances you could have had one)?

Anyway, I don't know the answer but feel free to kick off a philosophical discussion in comments.

If it helps, I have used one of the exquisite shot glasses to take my morphine tonight. It's just about the right size :-). J x

Goodnight all......

Here's To 2014 Everyone

A Needle, A Needle.....

.... my kingdom for a knitting needle.

I have a beautiful cable-knitted scarf that I love.  But it has a "pull" in it.  Can anyone out there in blog-land help me with that?  I could of course "have a go".  I am, after all, a plucky self-starter who can turn his hand to almost anything (no sniggering there in the back row). But I particularly like this scarf and wouldn't want to run the risk of ruining it.  Normally I would turn to my seamstress extraordinaire, Sarah, in London but given my potential treatment schedule I might not see her for a while so I'm looking for some home-grown Mancunian talent. Help.  Or Hay-elp (as Penelope Pitstop might put it).

In other news, I'm back in Manchester and have spoken to Australia (who is back in Sydney).

Good to be home but am feeling guilty for leaving Dad. But as he and I both recognise, it's something he'll need to get used to.  A dog will help. And Kathryn has already emailed us details of some people who will potentially allow us to get the right sort of dog (thank you Kathryn). 

What else?  My new January Tom Daley isn't quite as exciting as my old December Tom Daley.  But hey, we all all have the old odd off month.  Here's looking forward to February.

Lighting.  It's really important yes?  I think all of us who are getting a little older will recognise the importance of good (soft? flattering?) lighting. I have the basics in the apartment but I need to build on that to make it better.  That, I've decided, will be my Winter/Spring project (depending on treatment schedules). Hopefully you'll all be able to see the improvements at the 2014 Midsummer Party (21/06/14 at my place - reserve the date on your calendars now - I'm particularly talking to you Jude here!).

And that's about all I can think of at the moment apart from the fact that I caught up tonight on all the Coronation Street I'd missed over Xmas.  They're handling the Hayley storyline so well.  That's all.  J x

Twitter, You Crack Me Up

Hey what happened to the jukebox?

Jukebox: I...

Fonz: IT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS

Jukebox: I fell down the stairs

Home Again, Home Again, Clippety Clop

Back to Manc tomorrow. On the one hand looking forward to it immensely on the other hand don't want to leave Dad on his own. 

Have offered to stay a bit longer in Swansea if he wants but he won't hear of it. So we'll see how it all goes. 

Not really got anything planned until I see Yvonne on 07/01 (please let me know if you know different - not joking!) so I'll spend some time reflecting, thinking, wandering by still ponds idly trawling my fingers through the surface waters causing slow concentric rings of ripples...... and test driving Jaguar sports cars that do 0 - 60 in nano seconds. Yay. Especially that last part. Double yay. J x

P.S.  Maggie and Paul: no.