It's Not Alan Anymore...

... but hurrah for Gardners World anyway. And an hour long too. Lying here farting like a trooper (the procedure introduced some air into my system!). Nothing I can do about it guys, sorry. Aged Ps arrived safely and Insolvency Unit sent me a card. People are so nice. Off to sleep now. Next blog from home hopefully. j x

Sick as a Dog

1730 Quite late posting today as its been a long day. The tube is finally in my stomach and, as Caroline promised, I can't remember a thing. Following the procedure I badgered the staff nurse in charge to let me have something to eat. She was reluctant but eventually gave in. I had a Mars bar and was promptly sick. That'll learn me. Also learned today that because I'm only away for one full day before I come back in that they will try and reserve this bed to keep it free for Sunday. This is good news as it's a corner position with dual aspect windows. Aged Ps due around 1830 so will post again after that.. J x

Ms D

Ms D has been and gone and worked her usual magic of cheering me up. And one of the night staff has apologised despite it not being remotely her fault. I think I'm ready to call it a night now. Goodnight all of you out there in radioland and stay out of the fog... J x

Easy Come Easy Go

1805 Mrs T has been and gone. It was lucky that she was the first visitor as she arrived whilst Young Shaun (as we're now calling the consultant) was here and once again going through the op procedure. Mrs T had heard it all before (hasn't she always) and so was not sick nor did she run away. I'm to keep my left arm pristine as it will be the one supplying the skin and artery. Ms Davidson expected later but she's been in top high level meetings this afternoon and is therefore running late. Aged Ps arrive tomorrow evening and are coming straight here from the station so no visitors required tomorrow. Out Saturday and then back in on Monday. Nil by mouth all over again tonight. Joy. J x

Phew

1505 Feeling better now. Seen the cancer nurse (who apologised), the physiotherapist (Liz, nice but its James I will be seeing)and the dietician (Lianea, from New Zealand - we've agreed not to aim for maintaining my bodyweight but need to discuss just how much I should lose - my opening bid is 5 stone and she can negotiate me down to 4). I even managed to manouevre the trainee into a position where she had no option but to apologise. The regular nurses are more of a challenge... J x

It Just Gets Better & Better

Having spent 12 hours without food and water I was duly dispatched to the endoscopy department where they discovered that someone had lost my blood test results and therefore I couldn't have the peg fitted. Then spent 3 hours on a trolley in a corridor before being brought back to the ward. No-one has even spoken to me since I returned, much less apologised. Consultant has just been and he apologised profusely. Why can't the NHS instill even this common courtesy in its front line staff? Now got to go through the whole thing again tomorrow. Consultant coming back later for a longer chat. He's so nice. J x

Knackered

0900 Not had a good night. Unable to drink any water (nil by mouth) and its so hot that my mouth feels like... (insert your own politically incorrect phrase here). Now wearing paper pants so looking as good as I feel. The "peg" (technical term for tummy tube) is being inseted at 1000. Currently being "admitted" such is the effeciency of the NHS. Speak later. J x

I Will Survive

People, hello from my hospital bed - yes, they come with internet access these days (and I'm not even private). May I just take this opportunity to remind you to keep it clean - my parents (if they ever work out how to switch their computer on) may be reading this! I would like to thank Katrina for the reassurance (!), Fig's Mum for the card and Karens Mum too for the card. Will post tomorrow when the tube is in. Night everyone. J x

A Little Later...

Have just spoken to HNSU (at 15.30) and they still don't know when they'll want me in. We've left it that they'll phone me should anyone manage to locate a bed without someone already in it... Forgot to mention earlier that I was also swabbed for MRSA. They took swabs from my nose and my groin. Why these are the 2 most common sites for MRSA and how it transfers between each of them wasn't explained... J x

How Many Teeth Does a Boy Need Anyway...

Another long day at the hospital and its only just lunchtime! Had head shaved this morning (at the barber's rather than the hospital) in preparation for weeks without shampoo. Then round to DD to see how she is getting on with her ears (she goes into hospital this week too). She'd misplaced her mobile phone which is akin to losing a limb for DD but major panic avoided when it turned up. Then off to hospital for - doppler tests (all OK apparently although it sounds as though they may take an artery from my arm as well as some skin - need to check this out). Then blood tests (huge queue). NHS staff not very good at customer service skills methinks. Then to Head & Neck Surgical Unit (guess what, no bed) so got prepped for tomorrow in the day room. Then off to dental hospital where it turns out that I need to have 6 teeth out rather than 3 otherwise I run the risk of developing jaw bone necrosis (I think). It didn't sound very nice so I agreed to lose the teeth. Also, can't have dentures in apparently as I won't have enough saliva after the radiotherapy. On the plus side, I may develop cheekbones and "...plenty of people manage with just 10 teeth...".

Then back to the flat to update you all out there in cyber land before returning to MRI this evening - and still no idea what ward I'll be on. Unlikely to be HNSU though as they've no-one to discharge. They'll be your first port of call though if you're trying to trace me. Next post likely to be Friday so have a good rest of the week everyone. J x

Tuesday, another day at the office... only today was my last day for months and months and months. That felt weird. Never seen my desk tidy before. Busy day ahead tomorrow what with haircuts, doppler tests, the dentist... Hey ho, it'll keep me out of trouble. Will try and post again before I go in tomorrow night. Love and hugs to you all. J x

Monday 270306

Hello, good morning and welcome. In the brief period available to me between Fig leaving and Karen arriving I have decided to set up this blog. True the dusting needs doing and I'll need clean pyjamas for hospital but what is all that compared with my need to communicate with you all out there in the real world?

As things currently stand, here is the itinerary for the next few weeks -

Wednesday & Thursday- in hospital having a tube put in my tummy (sedation only, no general anaesthetic - are they mad?).

Friday - discharge (from hospital only and hopefully not from my tummy) and Aged Ps arrive. Said dusting and washing begins around now.

Sunday 020406 - check in once more to MRI

Monday 030406 - the BIG op. 24 hours on the High Dependency Unit

Tuesday 040406 - back to the ward for 2 to 3 weeks. No speaking or eating and a couple of days of breathing through a tube in my throat. Likely to look bruised and swollen but hopefully losing weight already...

Sometime during April - back to pad for 4 week break followed by 6 weeks of radiotherapy (am exploring possibility of a car park pass for those of you good enough to volunteer to drive me)

Once ensconced back at 55 City South (and having checked that the dusting and washing has been done in my absence) I will continue to update this blog so we'll all know where we are.


Am now going to try and post a photo so that you can all remember what I look like. Speak soon. J x

Ah-Ha

Discovered how to do new posts - you need to get to something called "dashboard" (no, no idea, I stumbled across it and quickly saved it as a favourite before it disappeared). Now if I could only work out how to set the time... J x

Still not terribly sure how this works. I think that the address I sent out for this blog may be wrong. Perhaps you have to log on to blogger.com first and the find the blog? Bloody computers. Who knows how the damn things work...